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I just want to warn people to watch their Lashan hara in this room as some people, when being descriptive of a specific community, sect or area, can write Lashan Hara, and Lashan Hara about an entire city is an Aveira that is too big to comprehend…
a
There are many benefits to living out of town as well as in town…
(dont stone me for saying there are benefits to living out of town!!)
Questions to ask yourself (this can limit the locations):
1)how big of a community do you need/want?
2)Do you need restaurants, pizza stores and only-kosher stores? if so, how many do you need?
3) Do you mind not knowing your neighbors? Are you the type to want to know a large portion of those who live around you?
4)Do you want east coast, West Coast, or somewhere in-between? (I assume in USA)
5) Are you origionaly from NY? (I only ask because your title is “in town vs out of town” rather than “NY vs elsewhere…) Do you want to live there or not?
6)How many choices of day schools and high schools do you want? LA has several, Chicago has some, NY has so many that it can be confusing…
7) What type of profession/job do you/your spouse have? teaching? Then you would need many choices of schools. Law? make sure that he/she can pass the bar exam that applies to that area. (Many states use the same or similar tests while others are very different)
8)Special Needs? Medical needs? Make sure there are sufficient resources.
9)What “type” are you? (I hate “typing” people but here it can be important and overlooked) Chasidish? Chabad? Yeshivish? Sephardic? MO? That may limit your choices to communities that have larger populations of these types…
These are a few questions that may lead you to a closer answer. Hatzlacha!
e? i finally got a game that wasnt already finished!!
I do… so I guess since you and I both know what it is, almost no one else knows without google or a dictionary…
headlines from the year 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines
did I hear right that it passed both houses now? please, someone, inform me that I am mistaken… right??? please?? I am begging you!!!
Feminism and chauvinism are two separate and distinct ideas. In its most simplest form: Feminism believes that women are equal to men. Chauvinism says that men should treat women with respect and dignity, not that women and men are equal.
I do not think that women are equal to men. They each have their own role in life and are different and should be treated as such. Ashes Chayil- the men treat their wives as “women of valor”. Women need to provide meals for their families and be mothers- (more than a full time job and enough to keep 10 men employed!) But seriously, women are not better then men, and men are not “superior” to women. They are different and have different roles in life and should stick to their role. No one gender should be treated as garbage but menchlakeit should be given to everyone. My point is that if one person is carrying arms full of groceries ect and needs a door to be opened- open it! It is not rocket science to figure out how to do it properly. We are not talking about men or women drowning here. Rather, normal occurrences where doors, cars and streets are involved. Middos need to be stressed. Without the proper middos, all the facts in the world can be skewed. One needs to know how to act and be like a yid- rachmanim, bayshanim and gomlei chasadim (merciful, embarrassed at the right times, and full of kindness)!
when can you not bow down?? if there is an untzniyus lady (for some reason) on the men’s side… You said in a perfectly kosher shul, so I thought that refered to no A”Z there, but maybe there was a person there that should not be there. (Or what about on a stone floor on yom kippur when the chazzen bows down??)
ha! shows that he didnt find out enough info about her…
did this really happen and did they get married? or was he too embarrassed?
mazel tov moish!! Dont forget us good buddies who stuck with you in the CR while you had your cast!
~the ET
Eruz Chatzeiros? dont people do that once a year?
hmm… what about one that not everyone says, but that one normally only says once a year… ie: the bracha a father says at his son’s bris? it is possible though to have two sons born within a year who were not twins but that is not the norm… ok, not everyone has a son every year but I do know some families where it goes almost without fail Bli Ayin Hara…
the bracha for megila? wait, you do that though in the morning and the evening…
ok, I am not sure if any of these are what you are looking for, but it was a try…
000646- I think you have the appropriate mindset for this topic. Men should protect their families, and men normally are physically stronger and are able to withstand more.
Men are more likely to be able to survive in the water of the sinking Titanic, in comparison to women. Nothing against either gender- just physiological facts.
Will Hill- I am deeply offended that you would consider me a woman’s liber. I dont think that men must treat women equally or any other way except like a mentch. (whats the female for mentch? Does it get conjugated differently?) My only point was that women need to be given respect, like men need to be given respect, each in their own distinct ways. I am not saying “women first” but rather that women should not be delegated to the garbage pail! mentchlakeit is necessary to everyone, no matter their gender!
Kapusta Cute! badair… no reason to pack any luggage- it will get sent to the Timbuktu (unless you are going there)
Will Hill… would it be proper to call you a chauvanist pig here or not?
menchlakeit is menchlakeit. One needs to act properly to everyone, regardless if they are the male/female. Someone has many packages in their arms- open up the door for them. Why does being a mench get thrown out when trying to be extra machmir?
When regarding the titanic or any other sinking ship, what about the halacha that one’s life takes priority over saving someone else’s? If one knew that by giving up his/her seat in the life boat that someone else would live but they would not, then isn’t it their obligation to remain seated? Even if they were female? A woman must sacrifice her life for men?
Joseph. The point it that 2 (like chasidim) has been recognized by some rabbanim and that there should be at least 8. I am not saying 48 but still, the more the couple learns about each other, the less surprises they will find out, some being tragic and destructive.
Come on and lets stick to jokes! I was excited that someone posted something here but it is off topic and not funny….
I know someone who had heard great middos and other great aspects about this shidduch, they met a few times and got engaged. Now they are divorced (less than 2 years). There was no way for the person to realize that their now ex-spouse had many issues, especially psychological, that were not resolvable… If they had gone out a little longer it might have been evident, or at least there might have been a “nagging feeling” that something might be wrong so that they can check it out.
“it’s frankly tough to be in the sugya when you’re in the parsha”
If i didnt know that we were talking about THE PARSHA then I would be a little worried here…obviously if you were learning Parshas Hashevua then you cant be learning a Daf Gemorah…
=)
Why do these things keep happening in classified security areas? Big government cannot provide the proper oversight to be able to manage and control top security concerns. This cannot go on…
Mod 72- thats hilarious! just dont show it to her…
I understood the comment, I just was confused about who I was at that point… =)
I have my doubts about that one whatshaiches… and the one with the zipper- that story has been going around for years….
But isnt her whole research based on “anecdotes and “gut” feelings”? What about Frum couples that I, or any other person, know? All my comments are based on true stories and experiences and thus far, I have found that if someone dates more, then they are likely to have found out a lot of the information that was kept hidden that pertains to the shidduch.
And once again, how do you know that I am not a psychiatrist? It is quite hard to know what is a profession and what is a hobby here in the CR….
MAZEL TOV MOISHE!!!
oomis- If I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I than I am not I and you are not you. But if I am I because I am I and you are you because you are you then I am I and you are you…
So am I, I, and you, you? Now I am confused…=)
I guess the reason that we both posted similar things is because we both feel the same way about this topic: menchlakeit first! We are both not women’s lib people but still feel that everyone deserves respect and to be treated properly, and they can still remain within the boundaries of halacha!!!
areivim…. i like that answer.
Wow- keep it up! These jokes are great!!
And Dr. Respler has met with a significantly larger sample size than 168?
I think this is each to his own and each person needs to do what he or she is comfortable with.
Moishe- the comment about ET was in reference to something earlier when someone said that those who live outside NY are ET…i was taking it in reference to myself…
h
Chivalry and basic middos do not have to be equated. SOME things from the chivalric times are part of basic human decency that still should be kept even though chivalry in its basic form can contradict halacha. Men need middos classes if they say that any chivalric actions are contradictory to halacha. I understand that men should not walk behind women,but does that mean that the woman should walk in the street to be able to let the man pass them on the sidewalk? (This story is true. The man stomped his foot at the lady walking so he could pass her. the only place for her to go is the street. Why didnt he just walk on the street and pass them? They obviously did not know he was there.) Why should anyone be treated by garbage just to be able to be “extra machmir” not to follow the practice of chivalry? Opening the door for an elderly lady, or a mother with her hands full of packages or groceries, should not be an issue, especially if he walks in, and leaves open the door for her. He still is ahead of the woman. Or he can open the door, let her walk in, wait a moment and enter and pass her. There is a difference between “unbecoming” and halacha. Follow halacha but remember that you should not be machmir at another’s expense.
Just a note: I am not a woman’s lib follower, I think that their ideas are full of problems.
R
Just be careful that those you are with realize that you are frum yidden. This was said in another thread, but once a group of bochurim came around collecting right after the night megillah. They were dressed like bummy hoodlums (ripped jeans and shirts, dirty, unruly look overall) and were approaching a family’s door. The family was pulling up in front of their house and saw these “goyim” hanging out on their front yard. The family was so scared! They thought the house was being robbed so the father warned his kids and wife to stay inside and went out to check- he was so nervous and worried for his life. He was so angry that these bochurim had no tact. Dont dress like that, especially if goyim dress like that in your neighborhood, and all the more so at night. Just a word of caution.
moish- dont worry. We are here for you!
Not to discredit anyone in their professional status, but how do marriage counselors know what happens behind the front doors of the house? a) the chassidish or those who use their methods of dating may not go to marriage counselors, even if it might be necessary. As stated before, many people would rather have marriages full of conflict, abuse and problems than go to the “tabboo” counselors. The very mention of a counselor is enough to destroy people’s reputations in the world we live. Someone says they went to one and their, and their children’s, marriage prospects become limited.
b) People may lie as to what really happens in their house. People put up a front, have excuses or manage to otherwise hide what really happens.
And by the way, what does a marriage counselor have except stories and feelings? Isnt that how they help? How do you know that others here are not marriage counselors,psychologists ect just because their screen name does not have their profession listed?
asdf- i still dont get it.. i guess it wasnt meant for the ETs out there…
cereal killers- now thats a good one! wow! of all the ideas so far, that ranks in the top 10!!!
See above post….
hear hear oomis and wolfish….
how was that brooklyn 19 when he was talking about the girl on the date rambling on about her chavrusah??? just a little confused…
Can someone please clarify how the fonts are changed… like when everyone makes the signs and stuff…. just curious and cant seem to follow this post…. i guess i am doomed to boring looking posts…
A couple once went on a shidduch, and who did they see on the other side of the room? The girl’s really close friend! As they were walking in, the friend happened to lift her head! So they both saw each other
=)