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what kind of shallow question is this? if we are talking about a health issue, like, where it really becomes a problem, than the title of this thread should be worded very differently. but reading the posts, this is not the impression i got, and i have every reason to believe that i am right (unfortunately) in my assumption as to what the poster means.
i assume the poster is a guy, in which case i ask: would you like ur wife not to have kids c”v, so she can stay slim? can you be sure that u will look the same as you did on ur wedding day for the next thirty, forty, fifty, (etc) years… meaning no balding, no pot belly…. don’t u always want to look really handsome for your wife?
WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO??????? IS THIS WHAT WE FOCUS ON?????????
sorry if i sound so harsh, but this post really blew my mind!
yated all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
unless the girls would be riding bikes (or whatever) in an ALL GIRLS camp, or in some private closed off area, i think this would be a big breach in tznius. tznius is not only covering your knees. on a bike, the way one moves may not be so appropriate, and also, the whole idea of tznius is not drawing attention to yourself. i dunno about you, but no matter who is biking while i’m out (especially girls) i always notice them. and it’s not cuz i’m busy lookin’ around, it’s because they happen to attract attention!
can’t say made this one up, but it’s one everyone knows:
there once was a maid from japan
whose limericks never would scan
when questioned why
she replied “because I
trytofitasmanysyllablesintotheconcludinglineofthelimerickasIpossiblycan”
I am wondering the same thing as be happy and the others who are asking why this thread is ok. can someone plz answer?
so, i just added shloimy gertner to the list. he’s good!
Hi I am hlms brother.
I have not just heard of Yedidim I know the owner and I am a part time agent for him. He is a close friend too. The band has been around for as far as I know 2 years or something like that. But over all it happens to be a very good band.
wiy, actually, if u notice, my screen name is written without a dash. i’m not really sure why i add it in in my posts. i guess it’s just wherever my fingers take me. no specific reason.
a ben torah is someone who leads his life according to the torah. he fears H-Shem and tries to fulfill as many mitzvos as he can. someone who is always looking to grow. someone, like you said, who displays middos tovos. someone who tries to be the best jew he can be to make H-Shem happy.
ywn, and yated. and onlysimchas.
just take ten minutes (or twenty, whatever will fit in ur schedule, but not make you fall back too much) turn on some slow relaxing music from a fave cd, close ur eyes, and don’t think of anything. works for me.
up up and away
popa, i highly doubt that that is the purpose of this website. i don’t think it’s taking advantage. my friend and i did this sort of thing in sem. we went to a kever a few times and we davened there for each other. you just have to be honest with why you are doing it. (after all if a pasuk in chazal suggests such a concept, it must be a good thing to do!)
thanx ben torah!
this sounds like a really nice website! can someone post a link?
i’m maskim with you, chaimberlin702.
but intelecual,you have no excuse for calling these ppl amaratzim! you have no right to judge ppl like that! they might be the nicest, most mentchlich, ppl there are! who cares if they like to dress comfortably or chilled. that’s between them and H-Shem. i don’t think H-Shem considers His people “amaratzim” no matter how they dress- especially not in the way you seem to put it. you make it sound like they are bad ppl! please watch the way you say things. sorry if i come across as harsh. i just don’t like when ppl judge others. H-Shem is the judge.
yo mama’s so old, when i told her to act her age, she died!
yo mama’s so old, she took her driving test on a dinosaur!
that makes more sense. but that’s still not tops in middos. that’s someone growth oriented and looking to better themselves. they’re not TOPS yet, even if they are a fine person.
i think this is a funny question to ask. i mean, it’s not funny, but i don’t think that there will be a definite answer. every boy is going to look for something else, obviously.
also, when ppl say top top middos….. of course that’s beautiful, but we have to make sure that we are just as selfless, generous, sweet, caring, happy, always doing chessed and giving tzedakah……. how many of us really are tops in all this? we all have flaws. to ask for someone with fine middos, someone who is a fine person… is ok. but not for someone who is tops. that just doesn’t make sense. life is all about growing. we can’t be perfect in something at such a young age, if ever. this is not to discourage ppl. i’m just saying we are not perfect. we can all grow and improve ourselves.
“A typical Yeshiva Bochur, at age 21, has no way to know “what he wants” in a girl, ‘cuz he has no opportunity to research girls. Girls are assur. Can’t look. Can’t talk to. Thinking about them is the Yetzer Hara at work. What do we expect from these kids?”
SRPsych, then it would be the same if they weren’t yet married at 26/27, ch’v. if they don’t know at 21 and they don’t know at 22 and they don’t know at 23, cuz it’s all assur, even just to think about it, why is 26/27 any different?
many ppl are makpid on this, but like it was mentioned before, shuls are packed,baruch H-Shem,so what is one supposed to do? (even if it’s not packed, shuls do not have enough room for everyone to have his four amos- you would need a massive area for that (especially since peripheral vision is an issue here too!)
i would just like to comment about what bptotty said regarding a husband and wife being 50/50 partners. although i understand what you were trying to say, bptotty, a marriage should never be 50/50. that’s not a marriage. marriage is 100/100. both sides have to put in their all for each other.
of course you take a purse! now, it should not be your regular every day purse, but perhaps a nice clutch or wristlet or something. you are right. what if the girl needs a tissue, or some money (for an emergency situation C”V, or if the boy accidentally did not bring enough….) or anything else she might need (contact solution, a phone [if she wants, just in case])?
hatzlacha to your daughter. may she find her bashert soon.
i thought the same, FNC 🙂
we are not even supposed to think about such things. this is for H-Shem to know, us to find out (bkarov, hopefully) amein. so lets leave it up to Him. no matter what anyone says, we won’t find out from ppls ideas and opinions.
didu, i learned something like that too. in sem. don’t know which one you went to obviously. sorta along the same lines is why H-Shem could make a person sick chas v’sholom- all the ppl who know him may have to improve their davening/daven more, and that’s the only way to make those specific ppl do it (besides for the fact that H-Shem had decreed that that person be sick for wtvr reason)
like i said, not the same, but sort of along those lines. it made sense when i first thought it in my mind. if it doesnt make sense, just ignore me. it’s still early.
there’s a really nice website called torah any time (torahanytime.com) my friend said that her sis-in-law and bro sit in front of the computer together and listen to a shiur, then discuss it and see how they can apply it to their lives.
putting in background music for whatever ur doing always sets the mood. if i have any more ideas, i’ll let you know. oh, i agree with the walks and the picnic.
i disagree with it’s_me. the family is so right. they are doing what they know is right. this was bashert, and surely, the neighbor did not get into the accident purposely.
you’re worried about the message to the public? i think ur getting the wrong message. i don’t think ppl will say, “oh, it’s ok to kill a whole family…” i think that they will see what a special nation we are with such firm and true beliefs and such love for one another. and if they don’t realize this now, they’ll get the message sooner or later, one way or the other.
sorry if this doesn’t seem to make sense. i’m tired and it makes sense when i think of it but i might not be expressing myself so well.
shwekey, shwekey, shwekey, shwekey, shwekey, baruch levine, shloime dachs, gabay, yehuda!, and did i mention shwekey?
well, do you know enough about the bas mitzvah girl to know her hobbies/likes/interests? that might make it easier, and you could make the gift more personal. if she likes music, maybe a cd or a gift certificate to a cd store. maybe she enjoys a good inspiring book.
whatever you end up getting, don’t forget a gift receipt, just in case she has what you gave her already, or wtvr.
smile, i also have millions of gorgeous pics from sem. i just don’t have the patience to download all of them. know of a really quick and easy way?
that’s an amazing story!
i myself have so much to write (i recently got back from seminary!) but i’ll start off with one inspiring thought. one of our guest speakers once told us “if we were perfect, we’d be dead”
think about it. the whole reason we are here in this world is to better ourselves, and to become closer to H-Shem, using our special, personalized package with which H-Shem sent us down here .
of course we all have flaws, and we all make mistakes. but we are here to fix our flaws, and learn from our mistakes. there is a purpose for every flaw and mistake. if any of us were perfect, there would be no purpose in our existence at all! (keeping this in mind before you judge someone about something really helps)
so, next time you make a mistake, just daven that everything works out, and thank H-Shem for giving you the opportunity to learn and grow!
mosherose what’s that supposed to mean? aren’t a husband and wife supposed to be so close after they are married? i’m not sure i understand what ur trying to say. please explain.
i know u said u tried nail polish, but i’m not sure which kind you meant. i used to bite my nails a long time ago, and we got a special nail polish that has a very disgusting taste, and it was specifically made for this purpose- to stop nail biting. if this is not the kind of nail polish you were talking about- look into it. i haven’t bitten my nails once since i used that.
that’s beautiful! H-Shem has given you talent!
from another perspective:
i was brought up totally frum. i am a bais yaakov girl. i am out of high school. i am out of seminary. i have learned about tznius over and over and over, and it IS a beautiful thing. we had one yom iyun in seminary about tznius, and it was ssssoooooo inspiring.
but you know what? I have a skirt. it is four inches below my knee. my sister thinks it’s too short. my mother thinks it’s fine. i wear it on shabbos. to shul. none of the women have ever told me anything. the rebbetzin has never told me anything, nor has she given me any looks when i go over to her to wish her good shabbos. i am complimented on this skirt.
you know what? when it comes to tznius, ppl are on different levels. what some ppl see as short, others might think is ok. what some ppl see as tight, some might see as fine. when i look at someone, i don’t measure how long her skirt is. what hits me first is whether or not the whole outfit gives off a nice, put together, bais yaakov look (obviously, if i saw someone with a skirt that was so obviously too short, she would not fit in this category). now, i am speaking for myself, here. i personally think that the skirt that i have is fine. and if ppl would one day start coming up to me and criticizing me about the length of this skirt, if it would make me think again about it, i still wouldn’t get rid of it right away. it would be hard for me. not everyone can change their standards of tznius in a split second. if you can, kol hakavod. apparently, i’m not on that level yet. maybe with H-Shem’s help, one day i will be. maybe one day i will notice that my skirt is too short. maybe one day i will get rid of it, but it’s gonna take some time.
so please, i know that tznius is very precious and can’t be messed with, but not everyone is on your level. that’s what we are in this world for, to come closer to H-Shem, to perfect ourselves. if we would all be perfect already, there would be no reason for us to exist.
Amen!!! wishing everyone a ksiva v’chasima tova, a year full of gezunt parnassa and nachas, peace and harmony, yeshuos, refuos, nechamos, and simcha in abundance!!!!! may this be the year that we all enter the gates of yerushalayim together, k’ish echad b’lev echad!!!
*** as you daven, remember, H-Shem loves you!***
i don’t know how i left out shloime dachs either. he’s tied w/ baruch levine. there. now my list is complete.
oh, wait, my brother and father, and all the men in my extended family. im telling u, whenever the whole family gets together for a simcha, u feel like ur up with all the melachim and they are all singing for H-Shem. there is no better way to describe it (yeah i know it can’t really compare)
mazal tov SB! may you and your kallah have a life full of much bracha and simcha!!!!!
a string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. the bartender says “i can’t give you a drink- ur just a string!” insulted, the string storms out of the store, ties himself up, messes up his hair, and goes back into the bar. again, he asks the bartender for a drink. the bartender asks “aren’t you the string that walked in here a few minutes ago?” to which the string replies “I’M A FRAYED KNOT!!!”
we have a geni acct (my friends bro in law started it for me in sem, we actually found out that we share relatives too!)