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daf! you the man! that achiezer is a classic! i remember it re:the avnei miluim!
there is a pischei teshuva in yoreh deah about this
source is taz o.c. 420
i thought for sure he meant that he doesnt know rov ovadiah yosef, who had an excellent kesher with mubarek
look in teshuvas vhanhagos from r sternbauch- chelek beis siman 297ish that brings r a.e and chasam sofer but explains also why you DONT need to be makpid on kiddush. basically, they didnt institute it.
oyveyzmer said it best: there is a lack of honest info being given-especially in the charedi world where the length of dating is 3-10 dates. theres no chance to get to learn about the person, rather just to gather info. if something “seems” wrong, its easy to shrug off and say ” i dont know the person yet so ill give the benefit of the doubt”. then, once you do see how the person has issues, and already engaged or married, you do your best to make it work. when it doesnt work, result is divorce. ive seen this happen time after time.
this IS THE REAL shidduch crisis. the system. and im a guy saying this! i learn in a bais medrash, was clearly of age and available, and no one suggested anything for months. there needs to be a better system! if only in the ywn coffee room there was a way to solve this…
most cases of suicide it is more than okey to learn mishnaos and a lot more beyond that, for the meis.
i would point you to the pische tshuva in yoreh deah three hundred something-siman entitled hameabed atzmo ldaas.
see what he brings from the shaar efraim amongst others.
things like loss of money and the such are not bchlal.
yes, there is a shidduch crisis. just not the way that most people see it…you see…im a guy, of age, in yeshiva, have a lot going for me, and im not bombarded with suggestions. i have different people looking out for me, but yet the system in how they find me seems flawed. how do they know im interested? that im ready to look? why arent they setting me up? i think this happens to a lot of guys. simple lack of communication.
anyone writing in this post would probably make a good friend. how do i follow up?
no bach. but its a taz 3 times. o.c. 588, y.d.120 (approx. you can find that one thru pesachim 22), and ch.m. 2.
yabia omer chelek 7 chosen mishpat siman 6—his maskanas based on tshuvos rav paalim, and what he’s medayek from there isnt muchrach at all, decide for yourself….
he gets involved with lotteries, gambling, differnce if its from jews or goyim, and the quote from the chida on a meikel sfardii like the rama is “tzarich kapara”.
also, see pischei chosen from rav blau shlita of sanhedria, chelek kinyanim, perek 21 page 565 lengthy discussion, about lottery, gambling, raffles, etc..
hope it was helpful.
certainly for busha, if your embarrassed by extraneous hair, its mutar.
ill check it up in an hour. ill get back to u
check out a teshuva on the topic in yabia omer. he basically says for sfardim its gzaila and for ashkenazim its mutar. (and then says if a sefardi is meikel like the ashkenazim…theres hell to pay). then he says even fot ashkenazim it might be assur….check it out…
do divorcees wear kittles on yom kippur?
just curious as to why is it bad to brag about your husband?
and to say there is never ever an excuse for one person to put their hands on another (in a non-affectionate way), i’m not so sure thats true. there can be times that it be necessary and come before divorce. if in a certain situation its the only way to grab a hold of the person and bring them back to reality, and not physically pain them, and then work from there on the issue, without divorce…i think many people will tell you thats a preferred route.
i think frustration levels are up in our generation which leads to fights and ultimately divorce. instant gratification required. everything must be done now and don’t say any extra words in your sentences and i will be doing something else not related to you while i’m listening to you…
well said eclipse. are you a man or woman?
even during the aseres ymei teshuvah one can be ignored…i hope its not a sign for my coming year…
random question. is everyone blind? even in that long post by WIY, just look at ftnote 14. now, its brought that RYSE SHlita is machmir? you have RSZA ZTL who is meikel. does report the facts people…
FOR THE LAST TIME, ESP. TO SAC AND HELPFUL, CHECK THE MEKOROS I MENTIONED, THEN SAY WHAT YOU SAY.
sac…check what i brought…
there are a few mekoros for a heter of taking a HOT shower. if you look in shmiras shabbas khilchata you will “essentially” find one.
also, if you look in shulchan shlomo you’ll find what your looking for from RSZ Aurbauch zt”l.
people, dont be so quick to say bnei torah dont shower b.c you are insulting RSZA…..
aries-thanks-that which you said-“it challenges our bitachon. If we lose our level of bitachon, even just going down a step or two we lose our sense of security and balance and that can cause pure and utter panic.” might be the explanation on why specifically this topic is causing it, and would explain how its not just a jolt but rather a lasting pain. now that its possibly “diagnosed”, what is there to do about it? I don’t plan on smoking b/c of it, or drinking hard liquor whenever it arises…
anyone with advice on my earlier post?
speaking of sensitivity these days, I have a question to pose I hope someone can shed light on.
Recently, whenever i hear of a good bachur who was nichshol in arayos with another woman, or a girl from a very frum family who engages in inappropriate acts with guys, if i know the guy/girl or family, i’ve gotten a pretty big panic attack thats lasts for a few days. I can’t place it. It’s not logical. Just regesh. i dont have such a strong reaction if i hear of a friend who A) already chose this path and gave up on the fight with the yetzer hara. B) in other aveiros it doesnt strike me- for example, if i had heard a friend started to do avoda zara, i’d be shocked, but i wouldnt have a panic attack. C) bitul zman, haschatat zerah, also not a strong reaction.
Just good guys tryiing to fight the battle, and lose, with another person gives me this feeling. It’d be normal if it lasted for 10 minutes, but I’m scared that it can lasts for days. and that i can care so strongly about something so indirect to me.
Does anyone have any advice or does anyone know of anyone who has experienced anything similar to this? thanks.
I want to reopen this thread.
I believe R. Hershel Sch. is a true iluy.
EDITED
why is it that the ultrafrum dont need any dates. and many of those couples are successful?
hi. i dont the room that much to know if the following is appropriate or not but ill try.
the ACAdemy awards just took place and Christoph Waltz just won. so in the interviews its been said that he has a charadi son in eretz yisroel. does anyone know him or where he learns?
hi. i dont the room that much to know if the following is appropriate or not but ill try.
the ACAdemy awards just took place and Christoph Waltz just won. so in the interviews its been said that he has a charadi son in eretz yisroel. does anyone know him or where he learns?
Not really appropriate for the “Jokes” thread. Try “General Shmooze 3.”
i know someone who is engaged. i’m concerned for the other party, who i have not met, b/c i don’t know what they know. i’m aware in general you don’t try to break a shiduch, if anything you try to strengthen their connection, but here i feel its different. the party i know has severe problems. if the other party knows about it and still accepts than that is fine, but i feel its my duty in case they don’t know to make sure they do the appropriate research. if i should contact them, how should i. how anonymously-through someone else…what to do.