@always runs with scissors

“That she should go take a risk of breaking her neck on an icy steep hill wearing slippery fibre glass skiis????”

I am going to nitpick about this comment. Would you be so against this if a family went skiing and the mother decided to join her husband and children in this sport?

I think if there is a women who feels like she is very overwhelmed/stressed and becoming resentful or depressed or near a breakdown (which does happen!!) then kol hakavod. Go to an all girls shabbaton. Is it better for her to suffer from a nervous breakdown? Is it better for her to be resentful to her husband and children?

A tutor for a highschool age girl (usually a regents course) charges in my neighborhood between 85-95 so assume that you wouldn’t charge as much as that and if you do not have a degree… I think 60ish makes sense but I am totally guessing right now.

Hope the job works out for you:)

I think it is an amazing learning experience for children. They will learn to accept people who are different and to be ok with situations that might not be the most comfortable for them. They will also not stare at a person that they see on the street who is ‘different’.

cinderella- while talking to a friend can be really helpful sometimes it is not always so good to completely lean on a friend especially if the issues are big. I did this and completely alienated a couple of friends because of it. It just became too overwhelming for them to hear about my issues and they just did not know how to deal with it. Also, many times the friends themselves are struggling with some issues of their own so it could get overwhelming for them or they could give advice that sounds amazing and technically could be amazing but in the long run could be detrimental. I think depending on how large the problem is it is worth finding a really GREAT therapist. She is trained to help you and her ideals or own “issues” will not get in the way of her helping you cope or figure things out.

BUT I am also not saying that you shouldn’t speak to a friend. Just don’t put the whole major burden on his/her shoulder. It could stimes be way too much for them to carry around by themselves!

Sorry this post is so long, I just have a lot of strong feelings about this since I have been there, done that.

am yisrael, first of all- I am so sorry that this time of year brings back sad memories for you. It must be so difficult! I do understand I think (even just a little bit) because a family member of mine passed away on chol hamoed Pesach a couple of years ago.

It feels liike it is a bittersweet time and atleast I feel this way that I have to put on a show for everyone that all is well and I am not struggling at all.

I have no idea about your question though, I just thought knowing that someone understands somewhat might make things a little easier or not easier but you might feel less alone.

A gut moed and again, I’m so sorry for your loss and hang in there!!

@Saralastein, is that the camp run by Rabbi Hiller?

Don’t know if this point was made yet because I have not yet read through all the posts but a lot of girls when they first come out of seminary are on a high. Then they get married right away and marry someone who is also on that same madreiga as she is (when she first comes out of sem). Problem is a lot of the time the girl falls from her high and then there is the problem of the two of them not being on the same madreiga. This can lead to divorce. In fact, I know a handful of people who have gotten divorced for this reason.

I also know someone who was on a high after sem and told me that she wanted to marry a guy just like my brother. Luckily, she did not get married the yr right after sem because the guy she married is very diff from my brother (still a great guy though) and if she would have married the ‘other’ typa guy I think it would have led to disaster.

This is why I think getting married right after seminary can be good for some people but not for others. It’s ok to wait a year or two to get married- IMHO:)

I found out recently that I had a student who was abused by her father. This happened like 3 years ago while her parents were getting divorced. She was a little on the quiet side, I think a little anti- social almost but we thought it was because of the home situation. When I found out about it now I was (and am still) devastated. I wish I had known and could have done something about it!! She is currently not living with her father but is also not in therapy for it and her mother does know that it happened.

I wonder if I have an obligation to tell the school or since it’s over and done with, just leave it be. I guess I should ask a rav this question. I mean is a rav the right person to ask a question like this to? If not, who do I ask?

Thanks:)

deiyezooger, I am an asst for 5 and 6 year olds. We gave homework over succos as a review since the girls are off for close to 3 weeks, there is definitely time for them to forget the things we learned (nekudos). The homework should take all of 5 minutes though. Even an older child can do the homework with the preschooler. Maybe this is the teachers thinking when she gave the homework because this was our thinking when we gave our homework.

Good yuntif!

A random hair covering question. I was noticing in shul on y”k (during selling of aliyos, not during davening lol) that many people cover their ears when wearing a tichel. Is there a reason for this? I noticed it on more than one person so I can’t imagine that it’s just ‘how she does it’. Is their a reason behind it?

My father and brothers don’t sleep in the succah but for safety reasons. I live in a safe neighborhood but it is also very very close to a not so safe neighborhood so they were told not to sleep in it.

Who is this Rebbetzin? I’ve never heard of her before…

Just wanted to say one thing. Not all people who have been physically abused won’t make a good wife. Yes, some may have serious fears and flashbacks and things that they don’t even know they have until they get engaged/married but others might just be ok. Also, if a person was in therapy for this then I feel that there is not much of a reason to say no to them (if ur only reason is because of the physical abuse). Of course, do intense research but I would say do intense research even if there wasn’t physical abuse in the girls background.

Aries- I got a message yesterday that it was yesterday. Sorry for posting wrong info… May she have a full refuah bikarov!!!

winny1, I know many drs that recommend taking Benedryl as it is a non- addictive medication that causes one to fall asleep (usually atleast). It is non-addictive but you can get used to it and that would make it not work. I worked with a child who took it for years and it still works on her now. Just ask your Dr before trying it on your child!

baalhabooze- would the calcium pills work for adults too? I am also having severe sleeping issues where I can not sleep through the nights anymore. I tried Benedryl (under Drs orders) but didn’t work. Now on Melatonin but so far no relief. I am going a lil crazy over it so if s/t as easy as Calcium could help me then I’d run for it lol.

ayc, which Rabbi Reisman? I’m assuming you’re speaking of the one in Brooklyn cuz I don’t think the one in Far Rockaway is as well known but I definitely could be wrong about that!

We used to put the blue tarp on (the typical shlock) but then one year it nearly brought the sukkah down (onto ppl) so we stopped with it… Wtvr u do, make sure its safe please!

Make challa kugel. I could give you a recipe if you want…

Pninim sounds like it might be a good fit for you. I went there a buncha years ago but it definitely was not academic and was very hashkafic. As per the girls, my year we were known as being the most ruachdik but I heard that after that Rabbi Meisels started accepting some “iffy” girls BUT have now heard that he has stopped that and is changing the seminary to be for a good girl, not neccasarily a girl who is “troubled” and that the seminary will try ‘fixing’.

I think it is a great seminary though! I still keep up with Rabbi Meisels even though it has been a few years since I’ve been there.

popa, I also feel like it is a little impersonal to send out a mass text wishing the entire list a good yuntif. If you would like to wish me a good yuntif, feel free to do so but in a more personal way like sending out a personal text or even calling me might be nice. I don’t know if everyone agrees with this but I sure do:)

Really strange (I think atleast). I let a friend know that there were still things that weren’t 100% between us and that maybe we should discuss it before r”h being that I didn’t want to go into it holding a grudge against her, c”v but she didn’t answer me at all.

Does anyone think this is strange? I really wanted to be mochel her and am trying so hard to do without speaking to her but it is very difficult for me.

Any other ideas of what I can do before r”h?

Thank you!

I also had this problem and asked a rav what to do about it. I think he said something like if you’re already asking this question than you’ve forgiven them. Yes, it still might hurt and it’s allowed to hurt still but you’ve forgiven them already.

I’m not so sure this makes a lot of sense to me since I really do still question whether I’ve forgiven them even though like 3 or 4 r”h and y”k have passed and I wonder if there really is a way for me to know…