halavai

tzippi- I just don’t use eggs so much in my cooking for health reasons.

When it comes to food, shopping smart can really cut costs. ALWAYS make a list before you go, and stick to it- this cuts your chances of buying extra items. When making your list, do it by going through your fridge and pantry first, checking up on what is finished or almost finished (if you have 2 eggs left, add eggs to your list; if you have 9, maybe not). Also, stock up on non-perishables, especially if the prices of those items tend to fluctuate, like flour and sugar. Go shopping only once a week, and make sure you get everything you will need for the coming week- running out to buy something you forgot several times a week can add up, as the more time you spend in the store, the more likely you are to buy stuff simply because you saw it on the shelf and thought you needed it. Also, consider eating only milchigs during the week, saving fleishigs for Shabbos. Most importantly, keep last week’s shopping receipt, so that you can look it over this week and see where your money went and if you can trim further. Hope this helps.

Nothing wrong with following sports- so long as it doesn’t interfere with his obligations or take over his life. I myself am a big baseball fan, and I still follow a the team of my hometown despite having lived in E”Y for about 17 years (I endure quite a bit of teasing from my kids, and even my husband :-))

Other thing is, like cantoresq brought up, be careful he doesn’t conflate the game with the personal lives of the players. Also, I heard that soccer games in the U.K. can get a bit rowdy, so if your son wants to actually go to a game, consult your LOR.

There are definitely limits. My in-laws treated me very badly from the start, to the point where my husband had to take a stand. He told them that I came first, and that if they ever wanted to be a Bubbe and Zaidy to our children, they would have to change their behavior. That was that, both halachikally and hashkafikally; the spouse comes first, even if it means having to stand up to the parents and tell them they are wrong.

I was born in the U.S. but moved to E”Y shortly after getting married. We love it- you can literally feel the kedusha permeating every aspect of your life; we were just privileged to fulfill the mitzvah of shmittah by leaving our garden hefker and untended (also by buying produce that was imported from Europe and the States). The school system is far from perfect, but our children are way less materialistic and spoiled than my husband and I were growing up in the States. Yes, the medina gives us many tzoros. But without them, we would not be able to live here, or visit all the holy sites whenever we please. It’s a difficult life here- between parnossa, Arab terrorism, and the secularism that the gov keeps trying to force on us, but l’fum tzara agra. We would not trade the closeness we have achieved with Hashem by living here for anything. It’s a real shame that too many frum Jews conflate Medinat Yisrael with Eretz Yisrael…

Here’s the good: This is part of HKB”H’s plan; Moshiach is now closer than ever; We have gotten comfortable the last few decades, and this is a wake up call, telling us that “Ein od Milvado”; He wants our tefillos. Let’s not pass up this opportunity.

Actually, I find it way more frightening that the LA Times refuses to release a video of Obama attending and speaking at a dinner honoring the well-known Palestinian terrorist-academic Rasheed Khalidi, where many anti-semitic diatribes were yelled from the podium by various other Palestinian sympathizing academics with ties to Hamas, Hezbollah, and the PLO. McCain is demanding that this tape be released, but of course, the LA Times is fully aware of the damage that this would cause Obama, so rather than inform the public, as is their supposed duty, they continue to hoodwink and misinform in order to manipulate a major election.

Has anyone noticed that potential shidduchim are getting checked deeper and deeper, and yet this has done nothing to alleviate the growing number of older singles and divorced couples?

Yes, things need to be checked, questions asked. But to what point? I know of a wonderful boy who shoplifted ONE pack of gum ONCE when he was FOURTEEN. At 23, he is still having trouble, because of this ONE indiscretion as young teenager. It’s one thing if there was a shoplifting problem spanning several years, but doing something stupid once as a teenager consigns him to everlasting bachelorhood? I know of a wonderful tzniusdik girl who made ONE poor choice ONE night of the summer at FIFTEEN, by getting drunk and acting up. Now, at 22- problems finding a shidduch. Again- a drinking problem, I understand; but ONE bad decision at a phase of life when most people do stupid things, and she loses er right to ever be an Eim B’Yisrael?

Not only do people change, but if we try to make sure every detail is perfect before the shidduch even happens, then we send our children the message that it is possible to marry a perfect person and thereby have a perfect marriage. The day they figure out that their spouse has FLAWS, and that marriage is NOT perfect, it is a most terrible shock. And we wonder why so many young couples divorce, R”L!

I can tell you from experience that you don’t want to go too fast or bite off more than you can chew at any one time. Some people prefer to try doing all the mitzvos at once but on a smaller scale, while others prefer to master one mitzvah before moving onto the next. But whichever you prefer, you need to go at a comfortable pace.If keeping Shabbos is too difficult on the first try, then try for a few weeks to keep it properly only on Friday night, and when you find you can do that, move onto Saturday morning etc till you can do it the whole day. The same principle applies to keeping Kosher, the laws of modesty, family purity (if you are married), or the laws of inter-gender contact if you are single, and pretty much everything else. Some useful websites include aish.com and torah.org. I don’t know as much about books, but Artscroll publications has wonderful translations and commentaries on prayer books and the Tanach (bible). Most importantly, keep learning and asking questions! Your Rabbi is good for much more than just questions of Jewish law. Also, since you are a woman, I would recommend that you build a relationship with the Rabbi’s wife as well. It would also be nice if you could find the time to learn about things from women in your community who are willing to teach. I hope this helps. Wishing you much success on your journey home to your true roots!

One of the problems is that people look for kulas in this area. Chalila that we should ever be mekil on our kashrus, but when it comes to tznius, we look for the easy way out; it covers the knee sometimes, but if you move this way it doesn’t, or it covers everything, but is really too tight, or the sheital covers every hair, but no one can even tell that it’s not real hair… Tznius is a mitzvah like any other and must be treated as such. We cannot play games looking for ways to push the boundaries of the spirit of the law while remaining true to the letter. A few simple rules that Rabbonim (as well as parents) should set forth: if it doesn’t work in every physical position you may find yourself in, don’t wear it; if you will have to keep an eye on it all day, don’t wear it; if it is the bare minimum of muttar, avoid it; regarding sheitals, if people have to do a double take, don’t wear it! Either get a sheital that looks like a proper sheital or stick with teichals and snoods! By the way, men, tznius applies to you too, and the fault is not entirely with women. Men need to behave in a tzanua manner, and make sure not to draw unnecessary attention to themselves either.