HaKatan

Shvartza Wolf, please explain your previous remarks where you wrote:

“[Responding to ‘Health’]:

B. You say “Rabbi, Dr. Lander A’H, is the one whom instituted all policies in any Touro school. These are all acc. to Halacha. The school carries on his tradition to this day.”

First, this is blatantly false. Second, as he is no longer president, I’m not sure why he’s relevant. You say that “[t]he school carries on his tradition to this day”, but I’m not sure what that means.

“

I have many friends who attended (respectively) both Touro and YU. I never heard of any violations of halacha at Touro. Yet you seem to claim this to be the case when you wrote “blatantly false”. How so? Please explain.

Also, you write that since Rabbi Dr. Lander Z”L is no longer president that you’re “not sure why he’s relevant” and, at the same time, you admit you’re not sure what “carries on his tradition” means. Might one explain the other?

His philosophy of allowing a Ben Torah (and also a Bas Melech) to acquire a college education without compromising on his (or her) Torah values seems to continue in Touro despite Rabbi Dr. Lander having passed away. That would make him relevant. And that is probably what it means.

As for YU/MO:

The typical line I hear from current YU students, when asked about a given YU/MO affront to our holy Torah, is that the students don’t care for that nonsense and they are instead interested in learning and a quality degree.

That includes the Catholic Cardinals’ visit, Crosses blazing in the reflected lights, to the Beis Midrash for some good ‘ol bittul Torah (and assorted other issurim that came along for the ride). Or more recently, about the toeivah rally.

I do believe my acquaintances that they are sincere in that reasoning, and they certainly seem like good Bnei Torah who are kovei ittim, et al. and that they truly do have no interest in these travesties.

But the latest Beacon story, unlike the Toeivah rally, is, in my opinion, much worse than the toeivah rally and the Cardinals’ visit. As written, it portrays a gross lack of sensitivity to, and Chashivus of, the Torah on the part of both the writer and the editors of that publication. (I don’t mean to judge them personally, CH”V, as they are all likely tonikos shenishbu to a very large extent.) This is unlike the Toeivah rally (and letters by those struggling with this issue) where they claim they were trying to be understanding and caring, working within the Torah’s values, even if they were misguided as Rabbi M. Twersky clearly explained.

(In truth, other YU papers have written things that are highly inappropriate and convey the same lack of chashivus, but to a far lesser degree, with HaMevaser coming in a fairly competitive second place after the Beacon. Yet people contaminate the sanctity of shuls with Hamevaser editions, Hashem Yiracheim)

Whatever struggle(s) the author of that article was dealing with, there was no excuse to glorify the experience of violating BiMeizid (and, as written, seemingly BiSimcha, too!) a number of issurim chamurim including one of the “big 3”. Again, no excuse to write it like that. At least in the Toeivah articles, it is written in the context of them wishing they could be like everyone else, etc., how much of a struggle they have, and not how, CH”V, excited they would be to violate issurim chamurim as in the Beacon story. On the other hand, a (valid) point in the Beacon story could have been made by glossing over much of the terrible occurrence and then explaining the experience to have been empty and regrettable after all that, in addition to the aveiros committed.

In other words, the aveirah/aveiros, terrible as it is/they are, is/are not so much the concern to others, as people do stumble, CH”V, and that’s why Hashem graced us with the gift of Teshuva. So confessing to a student newspaper, while perhaps anyways not appropriate in the final analysis, is not what is shocking. But the writer’s glorification of committing one of (speaking of Cardinals) the 3 “cardinal” aveiros is inexcusable and shocking, even for MO (who proudly ignore their own Rav’s (as in Rav JBS) words that “the greater they can distance themselves from culture the **better** they are for it” and instead whose students proudly proclaim that, for example, it must be muttar to go to a Broadway show because everyone does it and that Kol Isha and other issurim must not apply).

So it is not so much the halachic concerns that arise. Because those can be avoided (if you care to). But it’s the attitude and hashkafa that holds secular culture to be, not in the running with, or even on par with, but (de facto if not de jure) outright *trumping*, our holy Torah, CH”V and the resultant matir issurim that accompany that belief, denials to the contrary not withstanding. Breathing in that air is poisonous to the soul and is the biggest travesty of that ideology no matter how much learning goes on anywhere.

(At least Conservative Jewry claims they can make up and discard what they please, and Reform and Reconstructionist do not claim any fidelity to Torah MiSinai. So if they were to engage in such behavior then it would not reflect on their being Jews and would be a simple reflection on the decrepit society and culture they are surrounded with. But regarding one who claims to be anything-orthodox, it most certainly does reflect on their being Jews and this is a terrible chilul Hashem.)

I think both Popa and BTGuy are correct, but depending on the time.

There is certainly much to be thankful for, B”H, at this point in this galus. That includes the things Popa mentioned.

However, there were gedolim of yesteryear who went so far as to demonstrate and rally in Washington (for Pikuach Nefesh purposes, true, but there is such a precedent) and did not instead bow down and ignore the danger.

So I think a balance must be struck between the two, and sometimes one attitude may be called for while, at others, the opposing attitude may be the correct one.

kollel_wife, Stern and Touro are not comparable in terms of potential issues. For starters, Stern is (proudly) “Modern Orthodox” while Touro is not.

Vayeitzei, the shirt color is NOT “meaningless”. Shabbos demands a more fine mode of dress than during the week. But for during the week, it would seem perfectly reasonable for a Yeshiva boy to wear a “conservative” (i.e. non-flashy) colored shirt.

I think “a mamin” made an excellent point.

A poster further back said “as long as its only women, who cares what they do”? There is a clear lack of thought that went into that statement? What if they had pole-dancing classes, women only? Is that okay, too? Obviously not.

To be blunt, dancing like a zona is 1000% assur even if nobody is watching. It’s even worse if others, particularly men, are watching. But it’s still 1000% wrong even in total privacy.

But as someone else wrote, anyone (regardless of gender) who condones this terrible lack of tznius is clearly lacking in sensitivity to what it is to be tzanua.

To spell it out further, if you participate in immoral dances “with women only”, you’re guaranteed to be overall changed by this and, therefore, in front of men, too, you will also (to some extent) FOR SURE, dress/behave/act inappropriately (to some extent).

As to the ridiculous comment about tennis and house-cleaning, tennis is not intended to highlight the body and is not inherently non-tznius even if *might not* be advisable to play in front of men. On the other hand, Zumba and Latin American body dancing are clearly intended to highlight the body, which is completely antithetical to tznius.

real-brisker, I agree. So if you’re not invited for the meal, what are you supposed to do between the chuppah and the first dance? And afterwards until the second dance? I assume you’d eat supper elsewhere…

MeinMeinung said it well, above.

In my humble opinion, I would add, if you were fortunate to have received a Yeshiva education, you might want to get both an Oz ViHadar to learn from and an Artscroll to refer to as needed, particularly for perakim with lots of aggadita and other heretofore unfamiliar concepts.

It really depends on the person. It takes work to go to college and still learn bihasmada, so I don’t think that decision is for everyone, necessarily, provided you are sure that with Hashem’s help you will work in some sort of klei kodesh job and/or you will take a BTL and go for a Master’s in Education afterwards, which will make you a suitable candidate for many jobs in the field with that credential. Sorry for the rambling sentence…

If your posek allows use of Braun (foil) shavers, those are great shavers.

There are major differences between our society today and that in Europe. For one, nobody in Europe then dressed like society does here. The entire attitude of sexual permissiveness has infected our society far more than in any other. This, like anything else in society, unfortunately, has a clear trickle-down effect to everyone no matter how frum they are unless they really work on themselves. So social meeting in a suit and tie or long coat versus social meeting in casual clothes or worse in today’s society cannot be compared.

To put it more bluntly, social-meeting today causes people to be attracted to each other for purely physical reasons (this goes for guys and even for girls) rather than for crucial personality and compatibility reasons (which is one reason why a shadchan who can try to determine this before-hand is so helpful), besides for physical attraction.

splenda, I appreciated your post. Thanks.

Perhaps you can introduce to him, in a non-judgmental way, an alternative way. There’s no law that says he can’t relate differently to your kids if the two of you decide that works better. Perhaps speak to a trustworthy Rav that knows you both and see what ideas he has.

Speaking of weather, the other week there was a storm consisting of “tea-cup sized hail”, as in ICE in AUGUST, that fell on the communities roughly along the Queens-Nassau border.

China today had sustained 60+ ft waves that threatened a chemical plant that, it seems, they’re scrambling to keep safe.

Not to mention Japan’s 1-2 knockout punch earlier in the year.

And on a different note, the relatively vast number of roshei yeshiva who recently joined the Yeshiva shel maalah, as well as the young kadosh vitahor tinok shel beis rabban Leiby A”H who did as well.

Lihavdil, the general economic situation/depression and now the “threat of default” nonsense that just ate up more millions of dollars of people’s money…it’s hard to imagine that such things could not have been prevented and/or at least nipped in the bud. But they weren’t and here we are.

And in Israel, supposedly not so hard hit by this “recession”, even working people with decent salaries can’t pay their rents and have taken to the street to emphasize that.

The umos haOlam obviously don’t get it, of course, and, in truth, nobody other than a navi knows what Hashem’s reasons are, but if one had to speculate, one might think that while the umos are busy upending the natural order of the world by turning upside down the definition of marriage to include kesivas kesuba lizachar, about which that is their only zechus for kiyum as Chazal have said, (not to mention their general descent into ever more brazen and deeper immorality) Hashem has inflicted massive physical upheavals to the natural order, most easily seen in the major weather-related anomalies.

And the riots in London that have spread to neighborhoods where acheinu binei Yisrael are living.

This is all (both individually and together in the broad picture) very, very, very much not normal.

May we all be zoche to the geulah sheleimah BB”A.

First, I’m sorry to hear of your pain.

Second, I think observanteen and others said it well.

Clearly, he is having some serious issues, and, as much as he *may* be struggling, it is obviously absurdly ridiculous to blame all that on you not looking like you did the day you got married.

From what you described, it sounds like he is depressed and/or otherwise dysfunctional primarily due to other issues, including perhaps his marital history and other reasons not directly related to you.

Also, if he’s not putting on Tefillin due to depression then that’s a whole different story than if he CH”V does not believe in Torah and Mitzvos. I’m assuming that’s why this Rav told you to stay out of your husband’s observance issues, as it seems to be due to external issues and not anything that can be addressed in that way. If it were a matter of chizuk in emuna then that *might* be a different story, but if he knows full well he should be putting on Tefillin (and more) then that’s not something to be dealt with lightly.

As far as his rejecting you, if he’s depressed and/or otherwise struggling with other issues then even if you looked perfect it still wouldn’t take away that depression and/or other issues. That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be helpful to him; the more that works out well, the better, of course. But from what you write, the main problems/issues would still be there and outside intervention of some sort might still be needed.

A professional should be able with Hashem’s help to sort this out and that hotline might have the right shaliach on their lists.

Hatzlacha Rabba and much simcha viNachas to both of you from each other and your families.

The comment of:

“” but if you look into the story lines”

True, but by that standard much of Tanakh would be problematic.”

has implications that border on apostasy, CH”V.

And how dare anyone compare our holy Tanach to the depravity of the secular world?

Looking into the story lines of an opera, by your own admission, indicates various problems that make it unsuitable for consumption by G-d-fearing Jews. You mitigate that by positing that Tanach has similar issues, CH”V.

In this regard, the key difference between opera and, lihavdil ribei rivavos havdalos, our holy Torah, even assuming the stories are somewhat similar, is that if Hashem chose to put the story of, say, pilegesh biGiv’ah in the holy Torah, then he intended at least someone(s) to intentionally sit down and study it learn something from it, perhaps not a 10 year old child, but certainly some people at some point in their live(s). And, equally important, even *if*/when there were aveiros committed in some of the stories, there is no tumah in appropriately *learning* about it, as Hashem and His Torah are kulo kodesh. There is certainly no such guarantee about much else on this earth, and as you yourself admitted, certainly not on an opera performance.

Even if you might find one or more positive lessons to learn from an opera show, which is quite possible, this does not permit one to trample the other issurim to do so. So the holy Tanach (of all things!) cannot be used to justify immorality nor CH”V to suggest that any immorality is found in appropriate learning of the holy Tanach which is the far worse of the two implications, imho.

I believe it’s actually a machlokes if the mitzva of tzitzis applies during the day or if wearing daytime clothes.

In addition to being mevatel the mitzvas asei, since everyone else is wearing tzitzis all day, one would likely be considered poresh min hatzibur if one decided that he knew better. Pirkei Avos (and, lihavdil, common sense) says not to do so.

Ask your LOR, especially regarding sports; I don’t see the sense in sweating up and walking around with sweaty tzitzis. So if you’re playing intense basketball in shorts and a tee shirt then it would make sense to me to leave the tzitzis off during that time on the court.

Rabbi Horowitz did do a video on this topic recently, and, though I only watched part of it, it seems to be excellent.

re: KGH

"The Sephardim pronounce Hebrew correctly. Ashkenazim destroy the language, mostly by putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable. By doing this, they often change the meaning of the phrase. And before anyone jumps all over my comments, even the 'holy' Artscroll Siddurim have indicators of where to put the emphasis."

Your point on emphasis is somewhat correct, but, other than that, are you joking? How on earth can a kamatz and patach sound identical and have no sound for kamatz? And how sure are you that a tav without a dagesh is supposed to be pronounced identically with a dagesh?

The teimanim, who differentiate each letter/dagesh much more than sefardim and even ashkenazim do, are probably the closest to the original.

But Zionist hebrew, as a made-up dialect, has no place in anything holy like Tefillah. Nor does Yiddish, for that matter, just because your corner of Europe happened to pronounce a yiddish kamatz more like a segol in spite of your mesorah that clearly did not pronounce it that way before that.

The biggest proof, in my opinion, as to the invalidity of many of the common pronunciations out there is the complete lack of consistency.

For example, in chassidic havaras, some “kamatz” are pronounced properly like a kamatz (as in “much”) while most are pronounced improperly like a “shuruk” (as in “boot”).

In Ashkenazic havara, girls are taught a “cholam” is “oh” while boys are taught (often after being first taught correctly like the girls) it is pronounced “oy”. Sefardim and teimanim pronounce it “oh” and Germans slightly accent it to “ow”. Yet the “oy” is still taught as the correct way to pronounce “oh”?

Regarding emphasis:

Though Ashkenazim can, should, and in many cases do use the correct emphasis “Vi – A – Hav – **TA**”, not “Vi – A – **HAV** – ta” in shema is an example of an important difference that makes for a difference.

However, since English (and Yiddish) is typically pronounced “mileil”, not “milra” as much of lishon haKodesh is, English (and Yiddish) speakers tend to inadvertently but incorrectly apply the same pronunciation to lishon HaKodesh. This is a problem, and should be corrected, but it is not an Ashkenazi havara rule unlike the chassidic/yiddish and sefardi pronunciations whose issues *are* “policy”.

While it seems like it’s ultimately not correct, there really is no precedent to deciding this, unlike the sham immigration marriages, so I think it’s a fair question.

NYS has redefined marriage to be anything goes and nothing to do with things that usually come with a marriage. So why can’t 2 yeshiva guys, who can be extremely close to each another (without being physically close, of course) consider themselves “married”? NYS has has just destroyed the both the sanctity and definition of marriage in NYS, so the answer should depend solely on how the state legally defines “marriage”.

This is assuming there are no other halachic issues like maris ayin. I would assume there is no such issue here because “lo nechshidu yisrael lo al mishkav zachar…” so it should be obvious to any observer that this is a marriage in the now-legal sense but not one that violates any issurim which should mean no maris ayin issue.

zahavasdad, in addition to Health’s point, you are making a (false) assumption that you will never meet them and you are also ignoring the societal ramifications of which, as I said earlier, do apply even to those in Boro Park.

The first mistake is to think this perversion is “merely” what “someone does in their private home”.

Do you ever travel to, for example, Manhattan’s Penn Station? Do you not realize that Penn Station (not to mention beaches and other places that could be avoided) looks different today than years ago? Do you not realize that, the more “normal” this perversion becomes, CH”V, you and everyone will see men holding hands and more strutting through Penn Station? Do you not realize this will have a powerful sub-conscious impact on you and certainly on impressionable children?

That’s besides the less tangible but still frightening societal changes it would bring.

I see the concern, and I presume they wanted to have the logo as part of a uniform but did not intend it to be advertising, just for internal unity, so to speak. This may have backfired as the OP mentioned, but I imagine they meant well.

Yom Yerushalayim and all Zionist holidays are de facto, if not de jure, neutral if not sad days as any Zionist victory is built on their massive failure and tremendous damage they inflicted on us before that (and afterwards).

It would be (somewhat) like making a Yom Tov to commemorate the Warsaw Ghetto uprising. Was this a bright moment in a terribly bleak time? Definitely. Is it a cause for celebration? I don’t think so.

Is it nice to be able to go to the Kosel? Yes. Does that mean Yom Yerushalayim should be celebrated? I don’t see why it should, given the history and the facts, even if one doesn’t consider this to be further illegal hisgarus baUmos which would mean it’s definitely not a cause for celebration.

Had Zionism not started back in the 1800s, it is quite likely we would have access to worship at the Kosel even without Zionism. I have yet to hear anyone disprove or even suggest a plausible reason that this would not be the case.

Given all the political upheaval of two world wars in the last century, it is overwhelmingly likely that had Zionism not started, (Moshiach would have been here by now and) Eretz Yisrael would have been no different than the UK or any of its former colonies, which is to say Jews would have been free to worship anywhere and to buy the same lands they now own there and to build there whatever they want just as is done in chutz laaretz. Yeshivos, shuls, et al.

That is a definite possibility. Is it certain that this would have happened? No. But is it a definite possibility? Absolutely. Anyone who denies this has either been blinded by Zionism and is not being objective.

So there is no reason to celebrate Yom Yerushalayim or any other Israeli holiday because Zionism was opposed by (most) all gedolim, not just Rabbi Teitelbaum of Satmar, and Zionism is clearly nothing to celebrate (that much is painfully obvious in retrospect) and, therefore, neither are its “bright spots” (assuming it is even an overall bright spot).

FAFSA is what, $5K max per year? And it’s also income-restricted, right?

So how does FAFSA (is MASA a state program that applies only to your state) help when they want $22K?

NK is not the “right-wing” of “Orthodox” Jewry. They are the most extreme, perhaps, in their anti-Zionism, but that doesn’t innately make them the greatest proponents of the Torah.

The whole question of L/R Orthodoxy is somewhat meaningless as we’re talking about Toras Emes, not, lihavdil, petty politics. And you can’t be only somewhat orthodox; you either are, or are not. Are there chumros? Yes. Kulos? Ditto. But that’s a much more rigid framework than lihavdil ultra-liberal Democrat versus ultra-conservative Republican.

Also, since Mesorah and Minhag play an important role in “Orthodoxy” (among other reasons), it is therefore a totally different question than, lihavdil, something as inane as politics.

Whether or not it’s on the news as a major event, one can safely assume there are military operations constantly going on in conflict areas worldwide.

So it’s a safe bet to assume that there are at least some soldiers in Gaza. In the event there aren’t, I’m sure Gilad Shalit, may Hashem free him from captivity soon, would appreciate the Tehillim said on his behalf as he is reported to be in Gaza.