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I’m sorry, but I have to say this.
Good chinuch includes teaching good communication skills. “Good communication skills” means being able to write clearly so that people can understand what you are trying to say. If you are not a native English-speaker, it’s understandable. If you are, that message is unforgivable.
1) “I” is ALWAYS capitalized.
2) “Don’t” has an apostrophe.
3) “[D]on’t allow their kids drive” makes no sense. Try, “don’t allow their kids TO drive.” And besides, you mean “ride,” not “drive.”
4) “Are” is NOT spelled “r.”
5) Double question marks just look ignorant.
6) “A lot” is not one word.
7) “ehind his parents’ backs” requires an apostrophe and more than one back. (Unless his parents are conjoined twins. Not too likely.)
8) Your “sentence” beginning “alot” (sic) is really two sentences. And neither of them are questions. Why the question marks?
9) “What’s” does not have a “j,” but does have an apostrophe.
10) “Your” is NOT spelled “ur.”
11) That last sentence is a question. Why no question mark? Did you run out?
Eleven errors in a message that takes fewer than four lines. Are you trying to set a record?
One of my first introductions to the frum community was when I was invited to a Shabbos meal at the home of X* family. When the kids started calling me by my first name, I was shocked. I had never encountered such a thing before. I never called adults by their first names, unless they explicitly said to.
I discovered it was common in the frum community to call adults by their first names. I really didn’t like being in a peer group with three-year-olds, but that’s the way it was.
Then I noticed kids who were several years younger, were Mrs. Y simply because they were married, while I was still Z. I was especially irked when kids would call their friends’ moms Mrs. Y or Mrs. W, when Mrs. Y and Mrs. W were both my age or younger.
Fast forward about 20 years.
I’m still friends with the X family. Their kids, mostly adults now, still call me by my first name. So do their grandkids. And one day Mrs. X was complaining to me about a friend of her. She hates when their very-nearly-adult daughter calls her by her first name.
Meanwhile, I got so used to it, when I became friends with the A family, I was quite shocked when the teenage children called me Miss Z. But that is their upbringing. Their parents call all adults Mr. or Miss or Mrs. Whatever until such time as they are given permission to call them by their first name.
Since I’m Facebook friends with those now-adult children, they call me by my first name.
*All names and initials have been changed to protect the guilty.
Frum girls (especially the frummer ones) don’t expect to have the door opened for them, and in fact are turned off by it.
so right:
Who gives you the right to call me not frum. I am certainly NOT turned off by it. And I am certainly frum.
I expect an apology.
Many years ago I had a teenager staying with me for a short time. I wanted to make sure he was safe in case his stepfather came after him. That’s when I learned to use a gun. B’H I never needed to, but if it was necessary to protect the kid, I would have.
I was very close with my aunt and uncle. I’m not so close with their children. However, via Facebook I became friends with the grandchildren.
If it hadn’t been for Facebook I never would have been so aware of what was happening toward the end, or what the funeral arrangements were.
I was able to reconnect with so many relatives (and old friends) with whom I had lost touch.
Facebook is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.
Is it just me, or is there something strange about calling something “tried-and-true,” something done “before our zeidas and bubbes came to America,” something “proven,” something new?
Seems to me it’s something old.
Oh, yeah, and for tearing the “do not remove this tag under penalty of law” tag from my couch.
Read the rest of the tag. It probably says, “except by the consumer.” So you’re safe on that score.
smartcookie: If I ask: how many rooms do you have in your apt, is that wrong? It’s interesting to know and that’s it.
But that wasn’t how the question was phrased.
Poster added the following: so that we get a feel . . of who (sic) we are talking to.
Poster is making a judgment based on TV ownership.
I don’t have a TV. Poster would probably judge me to be a certain way based on that. S/He would probably be wrong. I read secular books and I listen to secular music.
So what does my non-ownership of TV really say about me?
haifagirl (IN, NY, WO, NC)
Only if you are with them the ENTIRE time they are online, and you don’t give them the password.
I will frequently make enough so I can eat it all week long.
Look up chivalry before opining that it is permissible for a Yid to engage in.
Let’s see, “chivalry” includes: courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.
What’s wrong with courtesy?
What’s wrong with generosity?
What’s wrong with valor?
And if you have been reading the thread about guns, you should know there is absolutely nothing wrong with dexterity in arms.
Ron Paul and I’ll trust his judgment for VP.
Everybody should see the video No Guns For Jews. You can watch it free online. Just Google it.
People who use “I” when it should be “me.”
People who use “me” when it should be “I.”
People who take up an extra seat on the bus with their packages when people are standing.
People who think you’re supposed to put money in the middle of the board for “Free Parking.”
haifagirl: People who refer to people under 35 as “older singles.”
dunno: haifagirl:
What about those who refer to 21 year olds as older singles??
Last time I checked, 21 was under 35, so yes, they would qualify.
People who refer to people under 35 as “older singles.”
When people treat you as less intelligent than a shnooky 19 year old because that person is married and you’re still single..
Add that to my list. It bugs me like crazy.
People who say “what” when the really mean “which.”
PET peeve? I have a whole menagerie of peeves.
-People who don’t use “only” correctly.
-People who say “gender” when they mean “s*x.”
-People who think “s*x” needs to be spelled with an asterisk.
-People who mispronounce asterisk.
-People who mispronounce most things.
-People who don’t realize that a napkin belongs on their lap and not on the table. Especially after it’s been used. And if they get up from the table, it goes on the chair.
-People who never learned table manners.
-People who don’t use “hopefully” correctly.
I could probably go on, but I won’t.
anyways it was a huge mistake on my part cause guys are supposed to chase us and not visa versa, but u live and learn!!!
You never heard the expression “a man chases a woman until she catches him”?
Is a dolly that uncommon? What do other people use to move heavy stuff? Israelis?
(Or is it just in Chicago that all the movers are Israeli?)
guys try to think of reg convos youd really talk about cause us girls have to talk about whatever you bring up…
Is that a rule?
I thought we girls could also introduce topics into the conversation.
I was going to say something about only Ashkenazi grandparents are dying to have grandchildren named after them.
haifagirl
Actually I am technically correct since Hashem has many names.
I assume in “real life” your name isn’t WIY. I assume you have a real name. You may possibly also have a secular name if your parents chose to give you one. In any case, you have at least two names (WIY and the real name).
So “technically,” since you have more than one name, I can call you WIYS.
dunno:
That’s ok. I wouldn’t mind that. I just hope he wouldn’t get too upset if I had other ideas.
tmb: Jews in public office will be proving their gentilehood as often as they can, even at cost of Jewish blood. We are better served by gentile friends, than by Jews in office.
ronrsr: honestly, dear TMB, now you’re extrapolating from one conversation between two specific politicians and using it to tar all Jewish politicians. Isn’t that a stretch?
Thank you, Ron. At one time I held public office. I don’t think I tried to prove my “gentilehood” at all.
dunno:
I’m also a girl*, and I like when he asks my opinion, and not just to be polite, but because he is really interested in what I would like to do.
In fact, if he chose what to do without asking me first, I’d wonder if he cared about my feelings at all.
What if he took me to a movie that I didn’t care to see (which pretty much describes most movies). At that point do I say, “I don’t want to see this movie”?
*I guess I just blew my cover. Oh well.
I happen to agree to what I think is your unspoken point, but fyi according to the online dictionary http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gender the term gender was used correctly according to the second definition.
I’m Orthodox. I don’t hold by “reform” dictionaries.
do girls like when the boy opens the car door for them? do they like him casual or in a suit? do they like going out to eat date 1? do they like arcades sporting events or board games or they rather just sit and schmooz
In all seriousness (I can be serious), these questions are unanswerable.
Here are the real answers:
1) Some girls like when the boy opens the car door. Others don’t.
2) Some girls like him casual. Others like him in a suit.
3) Some girls like to go out to eat on date one. Others don’t.
4) Some girls like arcardes. Others don’t. Some girls like sporting events. Others don’t. Some girls like board games. Others don’t. Some girls like to sit and shmooze. Others don’t.
Imagine if I asked, “Do boys like [fill in the blank]?”
There is no ONE answer for all girls, all boys, all people.
You have to do what is good for you. If you’re with the right girl, those choices will be right for her too.
Clearly a reverse roll relationship.
Sesame seeds on the inside?
Take here to YWN Coffee room, show her some posts, ask her what do you think of this person, how about this person? one of those will be you, if she likes his thoughts, hashkafa, etc.. get married, if not move on.
Great idea. If she says, “Oh my goodness! Don’t you know it’s assur to use the internet,” she’s probably not for you.
What was it like before coffee was discovered?
It was really tough. All we had to drink was dinosaur milk.
No tamari for seasoning?!
Guys, please make the decision! Girls want a decisive man.
I’m sure what you meant was SOME girls want a decisive man.
I had a boss who told me about his dating experiences. Every time he went out with someone new, he would pick her up, ask what she wants to do, and she would say, “Whatever you want to do is fine.”
On his first date with the woman who eventually became his wife, he asked what she wanted to do, and she gave him an itinerary. He was hooked.
Thanks. My Hebrew is not so ???.
I’m here.
I’m a 95-year-old man. 🙂
And by the way, as I’m not a word, I don’t have a gender.
Aargh! Open the car door to get in the car or out? If you think I am going to sit in the car and wait for you to walk around just to open the door, think again.
Casual or suit? Depends on guy and where we’re going on the date.
Out to eat on date 1? In some communities, going to a restaurant is tantamount to announcing your engagement. That could be very uncomfortable on date 1.
Who are the “they” to whom you are referring? Some girls (and women) like arcades etc., and others would rather just sit and shmooze.
Think about it as an opportunity to make a few Kiddush Hashems a day!!!
Just how many “Hashems” are there? I thought only One!
Try kiddushim Hashem. You are making more than one sanctification, not more than one Hashem C”V.
I (nearly)always pick up a penny. And I don’t put it in a pushka. My rav says that’s too easy. The money that one works for and feels is really his, is the money that goes in the pushka.
I’ve only been to NY, NJ, MD and FL. Where else would a yid need to go?
Eretz Yisroel comes to mind . . .
willi:
For italics, put
<em>before the string and</em>after the string.For bold, put
<strong>before the string and</strong>after the string.My apologies to anyone who has either of these names, but whenever I need to use a weird name in conversation, I always say “Shprintza Genendel.”
When one of my friends became a bubbie for the first time, we were discussing possible names her son and daughter-in-law might give the new baby. I said, “As long as it isn’t Shprintza Genendel.”
Turns out my friend loved that name and wrote it down to suggest it to her son. He had other ideas, though. Meanwhile, she is still holding out hope for a Shprintza Genendel in her family.
So it seems beauty is in the ear of the beholder.
My theories are more reliable than tested and proven ones.
You do realize how absurd that sentence is, don’t you?
I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I’m not sure what you consider “very small.” And it also depends on which “team” you play on.
There are a lot of Gerer chasidim, as well as many, many, many Seret-Vizhnitz chasidim. Other groups are represented quite well: Belz, Sanz, Vizhnitz, Lubavitch, Breslov, are the ones I know about. There are also a lot of us Litvaks here, too. And I’m just talking about Hadar and Ramat Vizhnitz. If you add in Neve Sha’anan, Ahuza and Mercaz HaCarmel, you get MO and I don’t even know what else.
There are quite a few drunk (and non-drunk)Russians. I don’t see a larger percentage of Arabs than I see in J-lem. I feel very safe here. In fact, I work late one day a week and don’t get home until after midnight. I don’t have a problem with that at all. (Of course, the bus stop is nearly at my front door.)
How long ago was your brother here? The community is growing. People who can’t afford to live in J-lem are moving here. Of course, that means property values (and rents) are going up. But it’s still a good deal.
And the weather’s better here, too.
A job and a Kallah doesn’t grow on trees in Eretz Yisroel.
I don’t know about kallahs, but there are a lot of jobs. When I was signed up with the Aliyah Job Center I used to get an e-mail with job listings every day.
You won’t be qualified for every job, nor will you want every job. But if you really want to live here, you’ll take whatever job you can get. I have a great job now, but before this I worked as a cleaning lady.
As a friend of mine says, “If you’re not ready to clean toilets, don’t bother coming here.” You won’t necessarily have to, but you should be prepared for the possibility.
So 19 is considered an older single?
It’s certainly possible. It isn’t easy. Living here takes commitment.
There are some things that will make it easier. First of all, remember that Jerusalem is not the only city here. Rents in Haifa are much cheaper. There are other cities with frum communities that are also cheaper than Jerusalem.
Contact the Aliyah Job Center. They can help you find a job as well as give you career counseling and help you write your CV for the Israeli market.
Be prepared to make difficult choices: eat breakfast and walk to work or skip breakfast and take the bus; buy food or medicine; do I really need internet at home; eat or turn on the air conditioner; etc.
There will be things you think of as necessities that you have to learn to think of as luxuries.
But if you are willing to make the commitment, there is no better place on earth for a Jew to live.