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Pack.
I don’t keep a packed suitcase, but I know what I need and I know where everything is.
We’re going off topic here.
The answer to the OP is, obviously, yes.
Just go ahead and tell her you’re crazy about her and want to spend the rest of your life, in this world and the next, with her!
(If you’re yeshivish, you can keep your hat on while you’re telling her.)
Yenta, considering your name that is just great!!
😉
achosid, I think you might owe someone an apology.
Jfem is indeed a lady, it would seem. And this is hardly the first time she piped up on a topic involving halacha, sefarim, and the like, b’sheim her husband.
Not being one of those iluiim (How DO you spell that?? Jfem, maybe your husband knows?) who can quote CR threads chapter and verse, I can’t back myself up with direct quotations. But I’m sure someone else will.
Not kidding.
Seen in Israel- Bathroom tissue with hechsher. Possibly because not produced on Shabbos, but not sure. Anybody else ever see this?
achosid, Gitteh Kasheh.
Does make one wonder if there’s something in the water out there.
Congrats to the CR!!
CNN, Fox, NYTimes, WSJ-
Look out! We’re coming…..!
Oh Shreck, you think it’s a “HOTTIE” ??
It’s a tragedy.
A tragedy for all of Klal Yisroel that the secular media is reporting this and it’s all out in the open.
A tragedy that grave sins were committed on all sides.
A tragedy if we even consider what adam posted above.
A tragedy for the men & women involved on both sides.
A tragedy for the bachurim attending a Yeshiva where they had to see arrests being made.
A tragedy for every single one of us that was unfortunate enough to read about this or hear about this.
All those lovely “Mi ke’amcha Yisrael” articles– this is not the kind of stuff they consider a possibility among “unzere”.
Move to Australia.
That’s where possums live.
They have no opossums.
Or adopt a pet tiger. Much more attractive than an opossum and will take care of the problem in 1 evening.
Goq, I defiantly liked your little poem.
I defy anyone to come up with a better rhyme than yours.
Ralphdh, I think i understood what you were trying to say, and can’t disagree, until you got to the part about Moshe Rabbeinu. Most of us (I’d say just about all of us here in 5774) have no idea what exactly Moshe Rabbeinu knew. That’s the whole point of nigleh and nistar.
Just my h, you want to know if “beamed energy” is like lasers and stuff?
No, silly, it’s like “Beam me up Scotty.”
OurTorah,
Of course you will.
Please speak to the MD who has been treating your condition.
Why thank you HaLeiVi,
Nice to find myself in this thread!
Dear Veltz M,
For the first time in my whole life, I feel sorry I’m not a guy.
And for the first time in many years, I feel sorry I’m not single.
Because I truly positively wish I could be the recipient of the awesome, stupendous chosson letter from Chana Pretzel.
Oh to hear her tell me Toodles!
Perhaps in a different gilgul…
Redleg, please see yekke’s post regarding Moshe Rabeinu’s sheep.
Avreich, you’re reading Mishpacha “to gain insight?!?”
You need to read the Ami magazine / gilgulim thread.
Or maybe you just want to move your comment to my favorite- the Jokes thread.
Do you have a Rav? Did you attend a Yeshiva? The opinions of the Gedolim are not as far away as you think. And Mishpacha magazine…
– I think I won’t finish that sentence or the Mods will delete me.
Yekke, you’re bothered by someone writing an article “without any halachic/hashkafic mekoros”?? That pretty much sums up a lot of the articles in the glossy Jewish publications that have come onto the market in recent years. The Jewish Observer, which contained articles penned by people who were in some cases themselves respected sources of information on Halacha and hashkafa, no longer exists. Presumably because there was no market for a Jewish magazine that lacked colorful photos, recipes, and let’s not forget- fabulous, true-to-life, nail-biting fiction. Every generation gets the manhigim they deserve. Apparently, the same goes for magazines.
Assaf, if I’m understanding you correctly, you no longer want to observe mitzvot, but you do want to maintain a close relationship with your parents. I don’t think you’re doing anyone a favor by not telling your parents about having made such an important decision. They are bound to find out eventually and will feel very hurt that you were not open and honest with them. Even if there could be some way that you could withhold the truth forever, you would still create a rift by not telling your parents the truth about your life, and by the the lying (or prevaricating if you prefer) that is bound to occur, etc.
Your parents will definitely be hurt and upset to hear of your choices, but I think you have to tell them. Be respectful, be gentle, try to be sensitive to their feelings, but do tell them the truth. You allude to “issues at home.” I obviously don’t know what those issues are, but if there is friction between your parents, it’s important that you explain that you made this decision on your own. Don’t leave any room for them to blame each other (or possibly your other siblings or relatives) for what happened. Hopefully, you and your parents will find a way to remain close and to continue to love and respect each other.
K’Heref
heretohelp,
no, actually
Unbelievable what this conversation has degenerated into in such a short time.
I always thought that right wing, left wing, all wings, observe Yom Kippur. And wasn’t that just a couple of days ago?
Pity all of you decided to ignore my comment early on.
Much more to the point.
And not likely to bring out the rock-throwing, invective-spewing alter egos of any of you.
Feeling just like you, Torah6. Sitting in my Sukkah is the greatest, warmest, most secure feeling. I don’t want anyone else’s.
And jfem, i seem to remember from other threads you’re newly married. Your time for your own Sukkah will come. And it will be beautiful.
Only if she’s wearing a burqa , marty.
Right, shop613, the girls-
The girls get 4 (see- more than the guys, so no kvetching please, girls) career paths:
Speech therapy
Occupational therapy
Sheitel macher
Kindergarten assistant
writersoul, those parsha sheets are a hoot!
Forget the shtreimels, please don’t tell me you didn’t get the one where eirev rav (clearly marked as eirev rav) are wearing the black hats / fedoras.
As for me personally, spinach.
Is there even such a (possibly unmentionable, pardon me) concept as-
Mother-in-law at Aufruf
???
According to the Chinuch there are both a Mitzvas Aseh and a Mitzvas Lo Sa’seh to listen to our Chachamim and not to transgress their directives (Mitzva 495 & Mitzva 496). This applies to all of us in all generations, men and women. I’m not clear on the idea of someone having Emunah in HKBH and feeling at the same time that he is exempt from observing certain Mitzvos that seem distasteful or illogical to him.
Ultimateski sounds like perhaps she is in fact a Bais Yakov maydel. And maybe this is the idea that had her come away a bit scared, as she put it. I know it leaves me a bit uncomfortable.
So you actually are making those calls and writing letters/notes, jfem. Good for you! Seems we agree after all…
torahli613,
Your question must be addressed to a Rav,; not to your parents (although it was kind and proper for you to include them in the discussion) and not to the CR.
Shopping613, electronic communication is a wonderful thing; however, there are some things it should never ever be used for:
– BDE (on a personal level, not, for instance, a shul message informing people of a levaya)
– Hamakom Yinachem… (Don’t ever do that to anyone!)
– I’m sorry, please forgive me…
– Thank you
There are others I wish I could include:
– Happy Birthday!
– I’m so proud of you
– I love you
Owning a smart phone does not mean we can no longer communicate our words using our very own vocal cords. And there’s no way an email or text can replace the sound of your voice, or the gift of a hand written note.
I have to give you a lot of credit, eclipse.
You’re the first person I’ve heard asking that his (or her) own problems should be a kapparah.
Most people I know pray that everybody else’s problems should be a kappara for all of us.
Hope the year brings you loads of of sweetness. And may your kappara (if you need it, as human beings generally do) come bli yissurim.
You got some good suggestions here, harri.
What you might want to add to the above-
When you daven Friday night and are mekabel Shabbos, put in a request that you merit Divine help in observing Shabbos fully.
harri,
When you start saying things like “yatayningwut?” in middle of normal conversation you have definitely left the confines of the left wing.
Also when it’s above 95 and your eighteen month old daughter is wearing thick tights.
Also when you wear your black hat while playing paddle ball.
Also when you eat cholent at least 5 times between Thursday afternoon and Sunday evening.
Just saying, not looking to offend, obviously.
ultimateskier, just checking in to let you know, I’m totally in agreement with you on this one. Not having the time or patience to get deep into the discussion, here’s a friendly +1 to you.
I would like to say to OOM, of course asking questions does not indicate a lack of belief; but it is always wise to consider the attitude of the person asking. I saw no respect at all on the part of BYM to Rav Moshe’s psak. No attention at all was given to it. Not to say that every Rav necessarily would pasken the same way, but Rav Moshe is not someone to ignore. Taking into consideration the fact that he was paskening with regard to educationg girls within the framework of a school system ,not indidvidually, we may possibly not draw a direct conclusion from the psak to BYM’s question, but, as I mentioned, to overlook it displays an astonishing lack of Emunas Chachamim.
While we seek understanding, we must be willing to subjugate our own ideas to the words of those who came before us. Following our own intellect, or what we seem to see so clearly in our own mind, (no matter how brilliant and educated we are) is not a good thing. See the Passuk in Devarim, 29;18, and the many times (among them Yirmiyahu 9;13 and 11;8) the Navi Yirmiyahu laments the tendency of the Jewish people to follow their own intellect , using the same phrase we see in P’ Netzavim – “sherirus leebee” (or leebam).
Ultimateski, you sound young (even though I know on a forum like this you could be a 60 year old with a gray handlebar moustache and a matching pony), but I admire the way you thought this through and expressed yourself. I hope you find a trusted teacher with whom you can discuss the issue further .
Impressive.
Where is that from, limeylkwd?
Gan Eden for the baal ha’agalah (Wagon driver) is a place where he”ll always be driving his wagon downhill.
Who said that??
liveright, funny you should mention that. I’ve seen it before. And thought it was just completely weird. One person in particular loves to wear that very serious “heilige” look on his face, ostentatiously sitting in a corner with his sefer while everyone else is dancing with everyone else, including Mr Tzaddik’s little ones. Thank goodness someone’s giving them some attention.
jewfem, I thought LevAB was actually being very polite and respectable. You probably don’t want to know what I was thinking when I read the post he politely responded to. My lack of response was not because I had no response. It was because there was nothing courteous about it.
Sam2, I didn’t see any tongue in any cheek. The post stands as posted until the author says she was only kidding… Doubtful.
Prayer is recognizing…
Thank you, LevAB, for that beautiful sentence.
I’d want to be sitting near you this Rosh Hashana.
Unlikely, though.
May we all be zocheh to be mamlich HKBH over us this Yom Tov.
Veltz m, I almost laughed at your post, but I choked down the laughter and some of it escaped in a brief snort-giggle.
I choked it down because your post is, unfortunately, more true to life than it should be. The phenomenon of the texting shadchan leaving a miserable trail of hurt feelings in her wake is becoming way too common. The get by text can’t be far behind, or can it?
Why were the girls not looking at the boys too? I’m not saying this to be funny.
B y maidel, looks like my comment went right over your head.
The girls are not commanded to learn like the boys, and they don’t have the same yetzer hara pulling them away from their gemaras. I wasn’t saying that to be funny either.
A woman has the same obligation as a man to see how deviously her yetzer hara tries to push her away from fulfilling her own tafkid. And to make sure she’s not confusing one yetzer’s work with that of the other.
Akuperma- not sure I understood you. You said that “most” consider it a mitzvah for men to learn Torah?? The implication being- most, but not all? Who does not consider it a mitzvah for men to learn??
It is a mitzvah for men to learn Torah for the sake of learning Torah. Women have a mitzvah to learn how to observe the mitzvos that apply to them, but they do not share the obligation of men to study Torah just for the sake of learning. Therefore, while men have a great and powerful yetzer hara trying to keep them away from their gemaras, women do not. Women can certainly enjoy learning Gemara and may find it intellectually stimulating and rewarding, but that lack of both obligation and yetzer hara puts their learning in an entirely different category.
Incidentally, a woman obviously has a powerful yetzer hara trying to keep her from fulfilling her obligations and performing the mitzvos that she is required to observe.
Oomis, I was always in agreement with you about not telling parents things that could cause them pain. From the vantage point of many years later, I can see they were definitely spared some pain, but they were also, inadvertently, distanced from us. It put them in the position of sometimes not understanding what was going on with us. They may not have beeen able to figure out exactly what the situation was, but they’re smart enough to realize there was something we were keeping from them. So the question becomes whether you prefer to give up the close relationship that mutual trust fosters, or whether you want to spare parents some pain. In the case of my own children I have been told things that definitely hurt, but in the long run, I’m glad I knew.
As for telling parents about a pregnancy- it’s a personal thing. Everybody has to find their own comfort level and share the news when they’re ready. I would hope parents and friends would have the intelligence to be happy whenever they’re told. And as others already mentioned, it’s (hopefully) not a secret you can keep forever anyway.
You’re so lucky it took 45 minutes but the bag did ultimately come out.
Don’t try playing games with the airlines.
They’re bigger & meaner than you and they always win. Sometimes that means you lose.
Next time check the roller board in. Or whichever of the 3 pieces you value least. Don’t hand them anything you can’t live without. My husband always holds on to his Tallis and Tefillin and a sefer (or two).
Agree with Popa.
Keep working on it, but don’t put off dating until you can squeeze into the skirt you wore when you were 18.
And I like your attitude. I feel sorry for the young, and not so young, ladies who keep insisting they want someone who likes them the way they are, and don’t bother trying to look their best. As you point out, that just doesn’t make sense.
Good luck!
If we were in Adar I’d know you weren’t meaning to be taken seriously. But since we’re in Elul —
As far as I know, you don’t need the kapote to become full litvish. Look around in your Litvish Yeshiva of choice next time you’re davening there.
Finding a good chavrusa will probably help you more than the kapote.
Good luck Mr Hroflr!
Hi oomis!
You don’t need to burn the house down. But if you want to make authentic Yerushalmi kugel, you do have to melt, or caramelize, sugar. Regular sugar caramelizes at above 300′ F. (Water boils at 212′ F) So you”ll be dealing with something very hot. Be careful!
Use a heavy pot, a sturdy wooden spoon or heat proof spatula, and wear baking gloves, if you like.
Preheat oven to 350′
Cook 10-11 oz noodles. Drain well. Set aside. Do this close to time you are preparing rest of ingredients. (You don’t want to add cold or refrigerated noodles to melted sugar.)
Beat in a bowl: 4-5 eggs, 1/4-1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/2-3/4 teaspoon ground black pepper, 1/4 cup sugar.
Pour 1/3 cup oil and 1 cup sugar into pan. Heat over medium flame, stirring gently as sugar begins to melt & turn brown. Be patient. When sugar is dissoved and you have a smooth golden brown liquid, lower flame. Add noodles slowly (careful the mixture may sputter and spritz a bit) stirring all the while. If you get a few hardened lumps in the melted sugar, don’t worry; they”ll dissolve as the kugel bakes. Remove from flame and allow to cool a couple of minutes, then add the egg mixture, beating well. Pour mixture into round (approx 8″ Diameter) pan.
A real metal, or even better- Pyrex pan will give you a good crust. A foil pan will save you time.
Bake for 1 hour.
Takes a bit of time and practice, and you may want to tweak the ingredients to suit your family’s tastes.
Enjoy!