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It seems to me that a guy being very short these days is as big a hindrance to his finding a shidduch as lack of money was years ago.
What do you all say?
Tefillah is a Mitzva D’Oraisa that women are also obligated to perform. There are different opinions on exactly how much / how many times a day women must daven. They are not obligated in Tefillah B’Tzibur like men, or in completing all 3 Tefillos every day.
Having said that, the necessity of davening in an Eis Tzarah, and the difficulty in doing so when a person is feeling sad and broken, is a real problem for a lot of people, not just for you personally, mazaltov.
I’ve been following the suggestions people have given here too.
And for those who know of a friend who is sick going through a hard time- this is a reason to daven for others who may have a hard time doing so themselves.
If Mr Trump is following this thread, I’d be happy to give him the number of my sheitel macher.
Thank you, Charlieh.
That was very interesting.
And I’m impressed that you’re a real genuine dedicated member of the CR.
When you read the article, did you immediately remember this three year old thread?
It ain’t over til they break the glass.
As for the original question that led to all of this discussion-
Women like flowers because they’re beautiful and fragile and often smell nice. Women love to nurture. Flowers thrive with care and wilt without, unlike inanimate objects that just sit there oblivious to our care or lack thereof. (But I happen to know a few people who are not women who like flowers too.)
Don’t worry, zogt-b, I always prefer to ask than to err.
And when I’m not sure if my shayla to the Rav is actually a Shayla for the Rav, I ask my husband** if I should make the call. But if he wasn’t there to help clarify matters, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’ve never had a Rav laugh at me, or answer my questions with anything less than the utmost patience and respect. Even Erev Pesach.
(**I have no problem with ladies asking their husbands for guidance in Halachic matters. I just don’t think it should be institutionalized as the only way to handle matters of this nature.)
Joseph, that was a great post.
Can the Mods tell us if that was a first?
I’ve seen many sources quoted in Halachic discussions here in the CR. The Shulchan Aruch, the Rambam, the Mishna Brura, Rishonim, Achronim, and a vast array of poskim. Sefarim I’ve heard of and others I never have. But this is the first time I’ve seen the CR used as a “SOURCE.”
Congrats, CR!
Seems we’ve been promoted.
Thank you feivel.
Likewise.
Joseph, I’m not sure if you’re deliberately being dense, or deliberately playing games with Mrs Plony (eishes HaRav Plony). She was just trying to point out to you that although many ladies are fortunate to have a husband, and of those many are actually fortunate to have a husband who can learn and is well versed in Halacha, there are others not so fortunate. (And don’t start with, ‘then she should go to her father or her older brother…’ There are women who don’t have a man to turn to.)
Why not just suggest that Shaylos be directed to one’s Rav? No hurt feelings, and not bad advice in any case.
As for zogt-b, thank you for quoting the Re”ma. Of course we ladies should know a thing or two ourselves. I hope my Rav doesn’t stop to wonder at my ignorance when I inquire about something that I should have known on my own.
Don’t nosh mindlessly.
When you’re hungry, prepare yourself something to eat: put it on a plate, put it on the table with a napkin and some cutlery (if applicable) and a drink.
Sit down like a mentch and take a moment to think what you’re going to eat and how grateful you are to have it.
Don’t tell me you have no time; you don’t need to do this more than three times a day. And each time (excluding cooking or actual food preparation) you’re spending 3-4 minutes (max.) on this. Even if you eat 5 times a day, 15 minutes carved out of your schedule should be adequate.
Talmidch,
“unruly disruptive noisy impatient mispallelim” ?!
An oxymoron if I ever saw one.
Where do you daven?
As a Jew once said,
Include me out!
Note to the slow shliach tzibbur:
I’m not going to tell you what to do on a weekday when your fellow mispallelim are rushing to get back to their cell phones and their car keys.
But on Shabbos, take your time please! You”ll have at least one very grateful slow davener behind the mechitza who’s happy to be able to keep up without getting breathless and losing concentration. And if everyone else is upset they have to wait an extra few minutes for their herring and chulent, is that really tircha d’tzibura? How about the people forced to swallow half their consonants just to keep up with a speeding Sha”tz? Seems that involves some tircha too.
(Or do we want to say that a woman is not part of the tzibbur? And if so, does not the possibility exist that there may be a slow davener on the men’s side?)
Excellence,
In one word-
Toxoplasmosis.
DY, if you are going to give your wife a rock, it had better be very very shiny and sparkly and ensconced in a precious metal such as gold or platinum.
As for me, I love getting flowers!
LF,
How do you pronounce Halachaician?
Does it rhyme with nation and station?
Or with beautician?
I’ve been waiting a while now for this thread to curl up and disappear on its own, but it’s not happening. Every time I pass by and notice the title, I cringe. Why are a bunch of strangers on the internet discussing a Gadol of this stature?
If we want to say that we’re all here lishma, trying to learn from his hanhagos, then we’re all being dishonest, agreed? If it’s a chalav Yisrael vs chalav not Yisrael thread we’re looking for, there are others out there where we can be entertained. If we’re looking for real guidance, this isn’t the place.
So maybe the Mods would like to put this to rest in the spirit of these sad days? And may we all be zoche to see this great Tzaddik soon with our own eyes.
Avi K, I haven’t read any of Shai Agnon’s books. I always lumped him together with other Hebrew writers of the 20th century whose works are written from a very secular point of view. Much of their hashkafa is not so kosher (kefira is a word I was trying to avoid, but it’s the word that might best describe their ideas). Was Agnon different? Are his books worth reading?
Depends who.
That’s a good thing, writersoul, as it probably means you don’t wear Hugo Boss.
Oomis, I don’t know the family, but I’ve seen her name listed for Tehillim as “– bas Gittel” & “– bas Gittel Miriam.” If you do know the family, or if anybody out there does, maybe someone can make sure we have the correct name.
Thank you.
Writersoul, it was meant as a response to the newly-started thread.
But now that I (hopefully) have your attention, I’d love to know where you got the books in Hebrew. I’ve read his books in English but I think I’d enjoy reading the originals as he wrote them. (I live in the USA.)
I don’t know about you, but his stories, even the simple uncomplicated ones, linger in my mind for the longest time.
Every Purim I think of the poor little immigrant boy from Beit Mamzil whose cowboy costume was ruined in the rain.
The books never fail to give me the feeling that I must immediately do the laundry, pack whatever I can into a small suitcase, hand my house keys to my astonished neighbor, and take myself and my family straight to Israel. Of course logic and life kick in in less time than it takes to start the washer…
bump
bump
Very true.
Someone gave me a very nice thank you today, although my efforts have not been met with any major success (yet). I can’t tell you how much I appreciated the kind and warm expression of appreciation.
It’s nice to know that in this difficult dark Galus, surely a time of Hester Panim, there’s someone who has all the inside info. Thanks, Mashich Age. When you have the winning lottery numbers, please ask the mods if you can enter them directly into my account (don’t want everyone else to see them too).
Wishing a Refuah Shleima b’karov to the Rappaports, b’soch sh’ar cholei Am Yisrael.
I wonder if it’s appropriate that I join the discussion; since people are mentioning and quoting Rav Chaim, and I’m not pretending to bring any level of knowledge or Halachic expertise to the table.
But the way I look at names is similar to the way I look at music. Nobody (I think) will argue with the premise that we’re living in a Dor which is very weak in certain areas, and influenced by a particularly degenerate culture that surrounds us in our current Galus. We are blessed, as in every Dor, with Talmidei Chachamim and Manhigim who are here to be Marbitz Torah and keep us on the right path. But the rest of us are sometimes, unfortunately, influenced by our surroundings. So while Niggunim that were composed back in the ‘Alte Heim’ a few generations ago may stir our souls, some of the music composed today is suspect, and might not belong in our. So too for names. Those that have been in use for a few generations or a few hundred years, are fine. Some of the names brought into vogue very recently may not have the same Kedusha as the very old ones.
Just my take on it…
Thank you, Ubi.
I see you’re too polite to accuse my (female) brain of poor reading comprehension.
So you indicated that you too don’t necessarily believe men and women have the same brains, in the kindest way possible.
Ubi, men and women do not have equal mental capabilities.
There are significant differences in the structure and function of male and female brains.
There are differences in processing in the hemispheres of the brain, in processing from the two sides together, in the effect of hormones on brain function, in the size of certain areas of the brain, in the likelihood they’ll suffer from certain brain disorders & etc.
I’m not knowledgeable enough in the biology and chemistry behind this to understand and explain it all, but I can definitely say that men and women process information differently.
It seems obvious from the fact that Torah and Halacha do not regard both genders identically, that the differences between them are profound.
It’s the old theory of ‘birds who need to fly were created with wings and feathers; fish who live in the sea with gills and fins…’
We were each given the brains that will help us carry out our Tafkid.
True, syag.
As I was just saying…
May I direct you also to T613T’s comment way up there.
Glad to see you’re back, oomis.
I BUMPed an old thread to post an all points bulletin searching for you, and here you are.
I have to say I agree with you.
But it’s not just “a tiny bit arrogant to make assumptions in this area” as you say; I think it displays not just one’s arrogance but also one’s ignorance.
Eons ago (or should I say many many posts ago) Torah613T explained it all perfectly, clearly, and in only four words!
BUMP
Sorry I can’t help, Tirtza.
Just wanted to thank you for bumping this old thread.
Veltz and HaL gave me a great laugh!
I’m sure everyone noticed, as I did, that the Rav did not hug or touch the woman in question. She was the one who initiated the exchange. And he did not indicate that it was ok, or permissible, just that she was was “holier than him.”
As a child of survivors, what I personally find much more upsetting than the possibility that our children grow up forgetting the terrible events, or not having enough information, are the narratives that are not based in fact. I am not commenting on the story on Aish, but on others I have read or heard that survivors themselves were very skeptical of. Having gone through the events, they have commented that the stories are likely fabricated or embellished.
Two very upsetting examples of this genre of untrue holocaust memoirs are Herman Rosenblatt’s “Angel at the Fence” and Michel Defonseca’s memoir. When these are exposed, the repercussions are terrible.
While I’m not pointing a finger at the story cited above, I do want to point out two discrepancies that I noticed. As a child of survivors, who grew up among many others of the same background, I did not notice as a child that ‘everyone had a number.’ Many who spent time in concentration camps were not tattooed with a number; I know many survivors who don’t have one. Additionally, it’s unlikely the lady identified herself as a shaygetz. A woman would have identified herself as a shiksa. (Perhaps it was the uncle who made the comment and bestowed the kiss?)
As in all our endeavors, it is important that in our eagerness to preserve the memories of those we lost, we don’t lose sight of following the path of Emmes over the path of sensationalism.
147, you are quite the globetrotter.
You post from Australia.
You post from Eretz Yisrael.
Now you’re listening to July 4th fireworks!
Thank you shloimdr. V’chain le’mar.
And may I request that you remember to capitalize words referencing your Creator.
Thanks -29!
Of course you are not wrong!
HaL, your idea sounds good on paper, but you don’t seem to realize how impossibly difficult it would be.
You’ll never make the parents happy. If you invite everyone to benefit from your ‘system’, they’ll complain about their children being exposed to a child from a home where they don’t eat galla on Shabbos, or the mother wears nail polish, or the father was once seen wearing a shirt with a stripe that was not pure white. If you are more selective then there will be an outcry over that.
Everyone will disagree about what you are teaching those little kids- too much, too little, and everything in between. Don’t even get me started on translating a passuk of Chumash into Yiddish. And learning Gemara too fast, or too slow, too much bekius, too much b’iyun, or just not perfectly enough for their little geniuses.
And who, may I ask, is going to pay for this venture? Ha! Didn’t even occur to you, did it?! Every single parent will tell you they can’t afford to pay for your service. And just wait until a parent sees one of your teachers or administrators buying more than a milk and a bread at their local grocery, or actually driving a car, or wearing shoes that are still attached to their soles… Do you realize the implications? the horror? that you would have the chutzpah to ask them to fund this?
No. I vote your idea has too many pitfalls to be viable.
Let’s go back to yungerman’s idea.
The latest supreme court ruling just proves that this world cannot exist without Torah.
What can or cannot be proven outside the confines of the Torah is not relevant to our lives on this earth.
And if you wish to present me with the beauty and relevance of the proof behind a mathematical equation or a law of physics- these are also part of the Torah, though some of us, due to our lack of proficiency, may not know exactly where to find them.
I hear what you’re saying about Shalosh Seudos, but I wonder if all the ladies here won’t agree that it’s right at the beginning at Hadlakas Neiros when we welcome Shabbos into our hearts and our homes.
Miritchka, there’s at least one poster here who understands you.
The sight of a horrific insect like the one you saw can induce immediate brain paralysis.
I know.
That’s what happens to me.
If you had not been with your kids, would you, like me, have run all the way to the next borough without stopping for breath or red lights?
Correct, DY.
Which brings me to my next question.
I am deathly afraid of insects. The last two sentences of oomis’ post are a Tefillah tailor made for me (Thank you oomis!!!). If I should ever find myself in a situation similar to miritchka, and am unable to vacate the premises faster than the speed of light as there are children with me, what should I do?
Good advice, 147.
And though it’s not only part of Mussaf, may I add, go through 147’s suggestions a little faster and when you’re done, study thoroughly all of Vidui of Yom Kippur.
Scary indeed.
Very scary.
It’s on my list.
Rashbak, my concern is not with the amount of dates or any other protocol issues you mentioned. My concern is with an aspect of chareidi shidduchim that many people prefer not to discuss or take into consideration. In my experience this is just how things are, but I may be ducking some virtual rotten tomatoes if anyone bothers to read this. I suggest that you do, Rashbak. Let me explain:
Although chareidim do allow the parties to meet and see each other, and as a result there is an element of considering whether they find each other attractive or feel comfortable with one another’s personalities, there is much more of an element of mekach u’mimkar- more of a business deal if you like. Guys and girls are graded (by shadchanim and by society in general) based on their family’s social standing, wealth, yichus, and also based on their own achievements in yeshiva/seminary, their appearance and popularity. Physical traits, intelligence, personality will move them up or down the shadchan’s desirability scale, but their family will also have a big influence on what shidduchim they’re being redt. Even a sibling who is divorced or ill will move them down a few notches.
Your relative comes into this at a disadvantage due to his coming from a “different” type of family. Even if he himself is an outstanding Masmid and a great guy, he’s not coming to this from the top of the ladder. You have to wonder if the girl has any disadvantages (she probably does) and what the nature of those disadvantages is. If she’s from a similar background, that’s your best picture. If she’s from a solid chareidi family, I would suggest you try to do a bit of inquiring to determine whether she has any issues that may have made her less suitable for someone from a mainstream “chashuv” chareidi family like her own.
Mazel Tov, and hope all goes well!
No.
I have enough tzaros without a Tzara.
***
Extra credit, of course, to those who manage to wash and bentsh again for Melaveh Malka after Havdalah.
Mir Talmid is correct. Shalosh Seudos is eaten at a special time- hence many sing zemiros/ say Divrei Torah at length during this seuda.
I have been told that, as he said, it brings all 3 seudos together. By eating this meal, we get s’char for eating all 3 Shabbos seudos.
At the first two seudos we may arguably have been eating to satisfy our hunger and our desire for the delicious food. By the time we get to Shalosh Seudos, we’re not hungry and probably don’t feel like we want to wash and eat another piece of Challa. But we do anyway, in honor of Shabbos! And by doing so we prove that we were eating the first two meals also L’Chovod Shabbos.
Yes, Wolf, may Heaven help us all to merit the enjoyment of “Shalashudis”!
😉
Oomis, that really is a hospital horror story. Unfortunately, you’re not alone in this. While there are in fact caring individuals doing their jobs in hospitals, there are far too many health care workers who don’t belong in a place where people’s lives are in their hands. I’m sure it was very upsetting to you telling us about what you and your family went through, so I’d like to thank you for sharing.
Exciting news Syag! Mazel Tov!
Sorry, pop & joe.
Obviously a private celebration.
And they’re not taking the bait…
I extend best wishes regardless to whomever for whatever!