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Mazel Tov T Queen!
I’m sure it’s nice to be a Queen.
But I’ll bet you agree your Royal Crown is nothing compared to being a Bubby!
Ah Freilichen, ocho s & Joseph!
Flatbush & Boro Park have been elevated to the rank of great US cities like Springfield, Sioux Falls, Honolulu, Des Moines, Anchorage and Chattanooga!
And 5 Towns is the only US city to begin with a numeric digit!
Such a hoot to be reminded of the Great Country Yossi’s conversation about the 5 boro’s!
All those reminiscing together with me, say Aye!
TLIK, we already have members here who are chashuve poskim, health-care professionals, legal experts, experienced chefs and laundry buffs, and authorities on diverse topics from crying babies all the way to matters relating to the next world. So it’s gratifying to hear from you that we include in our ranks a noted askan as well.
Visiting the CR to smell the coffee, read some comments, be amused (on better days), and take the pulse of our fellow posters, is not a half bad way to while away a bit of time.
I was always sure that those requiring guidance in actual Halacha, or in real-life questions of child-raising, marriage, divorce (R”L), health and well-being, know that this is a place to hang out, not to get answers. Perhaps I was wrong about that. Perhaps that is the reason that discussions get so fierce, tempers are frayed, and feelings get hurt.
While it’s fun to read the recipes here, it won’t occur to any of us to suggest that to our spouses as an alternative to serving them a nice warm meal when Taanis Esther is over. Likewise the CR is not the cure or solution for anyone wondering how to heal that aching joint, raise that recalcitrant child, or work out Shalom Bayis issues.
If you all knew that already, then please ignore this and carry on where we left off…
Bored_on,
I think there’s a different thread going strong here today that you might find interesting…
I rest my case.
DY, I’m surprised that you’re surprised.
Surely you know that 98% of people who take people to task for ad hominem attacks, like the person at whom the ad hominem attack is directed. When the object of the attack is someone who is disliked, then the ad hominem attack is considered an integral point of the argument.
(Ok, I made up my 98%. No studies were carried out to determine the exact number. But I like how everyone here is so sure of everything they say. Even when what they’re so sure of is based on a one time, one shot deal or experience. So I thought I better pretend to be sure as well.)
There’s no ches in Baruch.
***
On a side note I sometimes wonder if all the talking monkeys, pigs and kittens our kids hear about, ruin their understanding of Bilam’s donkey (I don’t need to add- it ACTUALLY spoke) or the tzfardea that jumped into the ovens or the dogs that remained silent…
I leave it to our expert mechanchim to make sure the limmud stands as it should.
Anthropomorphism, giving human traits to animals, is fun in children’s stories, but not always smart.
In the case pf “Lech el nemala…” (Shlomo HaMelech) or tznius from a cat (Gemara) these are words of Torah, and obviously there’s a true lesson there for us.
In the case of our famous penguin, well…
Nice story.
I’m not sure why one would feel the need to ‘shlug up’ (as DY so eloquently put it) the OP, even if it’s not necessarily total Emmes.
I don’t have my own answer answer to the OP, but according to one of the more ‘famous’ experienced shadchanim whom I know personally:
Before first date- the boy
After first or second date- the girl
After that- 50/50
AviK, you lost me from the very first sentence you quoted. Surely you can see on your own that simplistic interpretation of the words of people who were light years ahead of us in wisdom and understanding (in Nigleh & Nistar) is vacuous and futile.
Yes there was a ruler whose decrees were tragically like Haman’s. But did he bring us back to the true good path and cause us to do Teshuva? Unfortunately not. Of course it’s not for us to judge, but the sad fact is that many survivors left Torah and mitzvah observance behind when they began their lives anew.
This is a great thread.
It made my day.
Who’da thunk it?
In Miami Beach, home of the hibiscus, the palm tree and the long sandy beach, there are people who won’t leave to catch a morning flight without first finding a minyan!
(Please CR cynics, don’t wipe the smile off my face by raising the finer points of reciting Kaddish & etc)
Hi concernedima!
Are you new at this? Or have you been through the shidduch system in all its wonder and glory a few times already?
One of the most important things to consider is- WHO is redting the shidduch?
If the shadchan has a brain and knows your daughter and knows the boy, then you don’t have to obsess over the finer points, like which yeshivas he attended. Presumably the shadchan knows them well enough to see that their Yiddishkeit, both in terms of hashkafa and practice, is compatible. And they’ll figure out the rest when they actually get a chance to speak to each other.
If the shadchan doesn’t know the parties well, you might want to be more careful. As a general rule, some yeshivas, especially some of the larger ones, have a more diverse student body than girls’ seminaries. If there are any questions you want to ask about the young man regarding his level of observance or what type of home and lifestyle he aspires to, ask his references, his Rabbayim or his friends. (Again, if there’s someone you can speak to who happens to know both the young man and your daughter, that would be most helpful.) Their answers will give you a lot more practical advice than the CR rating of his yeshiva.
Apushata, re: Why send a letter?… Administrators in yeshivas generally behave in a far more mentchlich, and all around efficient and decent manner, than personnel at seminaries and institutions providing education for girls. As far as I know, girls never have the experience your son had after their ‘farher’s.
If someone has a possible explanation, please share it with us.
Interesting observation, Queen.
I wonder if anyone would care to give a speech to a large audience and expound on the implications of that point.
Bored_on, as long as the girls get back imbalanced, and not unbalanced, the tuition dollars were well spent.
Hi Oomis. I know someone else already asked you this but you didn’t reply and I’m curious–
Does your rebbetzin, who gently reminds people to call her by her first name, also ask the men in your kehilla to address her by her first name?
Or were you referring just to the ladies?
When I call a Rav with a shayla, the least of my worries is whether I’ll be getting an honest, unbiased, truthful answer.
But here comes ABS-SA, who says,
“discuss the issue with a neutral Rav, and only then…”
What exactly is a neutral Rav?
What sort of Rav is that?
Are you saying that there is also a Rav who is NOT neutral?
Are you saying it’s not enough to call your trusted possek for an answer?
And if there does indeed exist such an entity as a “non-neutral Rav” whom I cannot trust in inyanei shidduchim, can he be trusted in Hilchos Shabbos? Hilchos Ribbis? Bassar be’chalav?
Are we doubting his ne’emanus in dinei lashon hara and lifnei ivver, but giving him a pass on other issues?
Are we doubting his ne’emanus only when parties involved are his acquaintances or relatives?
Please advise.
What happened to the propeller beanies?
Why do our local hat stores not sell them?
Where can I buy one?
So much more stylish and versatile than a Bors…
Yes, many times.
But not in the recent past.
I was wondering if the last couple of cold, snowy winters were too severe for them to survive.
If you are asked to give information, and you know there’s a problem that can have a negative impact on a marriage, tell the person inquiring you’ll get back to them shortly, and call your Rav. If you know in advance you might be called, even better- you can ask the shayla ahead of time.
You’ll be asked by the Rav to describe the problem to him, tell him how you know about it, and other details.
Then, simply do as you’re told.
Health, the problems arise when women And men misunderstand or misinterpret the words of our holy Amoraim.
Whether women are more prone to do so due to their lack of proficiency in these studies is another discussion.
That’s takkeh interesting, zdad.
Having very little knowledge of or interest in the superbowl, I stayed out of the discussion and felt I had not much of an opinion for or against.
But I find referencing Rosh Chodesh, our first precious Mitzvah as a nation, in relation to this subject, deeply offensive.
There are occasions when we elevate chol into Kodesh, but this seems very very far from that concept.
Sam2, if the sem teacher said that then I think she’s wrong.
Please correct me if I’m mistaken, but the gemara HIR referenced refers to the overwhelming taiva for a”z being removed, not the removal of any form of idolatry.
Apushatay,you are So right!
Photoshopped information is a (forgive me Mr Trump) HUUUGE Problem in shidduchim.
People are aware of the need to avoid lashon hara.
They are not aware of the issurim involved in ‘lifnei ivver’.
Irrefutable proof, Goq, that Joseph thinks we’re all Goyim.
Joseph, was it something I said?
Thank you, kj, for drawing my attention to the video I missed yesterday.
I’m sure I don’t need to add that I was appalled.
I had no idea this is how it is.
And it’s so hard for me to understand, because there’s no way anyone can say that this is done by the Chassidim and the one they’re doing it for didn’t notice.
I think I understand Satmar’s view that Eretz Yisrael today is Galus.
What I just can’t figure out is their idea that here in this Malchus shel Chessed, WE are in power.
Did someone forget to notify me that Mashiach arrived and took us to live here along the BQE?
LF,
+1
Don’t worry about elitism.
Elitism is fine.
As long as everybody realizes that my children are The Elite.
Maybe George Orwell, (perhaps) a more proficient writer than me, put it better-
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
And George Orwell never even visited Lakewood.
I happen to agree with Mr Rechnitz that Lakewood is a great place. Though I’m sure he knows much more about it than I do. Problems arise when human nature, there as anywhere else, raises its (sometimes ugly) head. And we have to work together to rise above it.
Some are normal.
The remainder can be found on shidduch threads, Zionism threads, and gefilte fish threads.
You are welcome.
You need to know for medical purposes???
You need to consult a Rav, who might also want to include a doctor &/or pharmacist in the discussion.
Refuah Shleima!
Regarding takahm’s post-
Is there universal agreement that yishuv Eretz Yisrael is a Mitzvah that applies b’zman hazeh?
Also, am I the only one decidedly unimpressed when Ms Palatnik quotes “a very great rabbi”?
We live in very affluent times.
When I walk into the supermarket I’m sometimes overwhelmed by the dazzling array of produce that is mine for the taking, when I know people who were literally starving just a little over 70 years ago.
Yes, we all give Tzedaka; we are after all rachmanim bnei rachmanim.
But how often are we actually confronted with the challenge of dealing with limited resources?
This thread brings to mind the famous story of the blanket that Rav Nosson Tzvi ZTZ”L told the CEO of Starbucks.
Something to think about when our streets are blanketed in a thick snowfall…
Zev7, nice sentiment, but there’s no reason to believe that what you believe is true.
I don’t know if A Einstein really wondered about that, HaLeivi (is Haleivi still here these days?), but surely Moshe Rabbeinu would not be surprised as he believed the Havtacha that the Torah will not be forgotten.
Parking on snowy days in NY seems to be bringing out the true inner self of a lot of people around here.
Which category does this fall into?
I know it’s not b’koissoi, as I would never accuse my fine fellow CR members of driving (or parking) while inebriated.
Is it b’keessoi or b’ka’assoi?
Humor?
Who said anything funny?
The map of the Chofetz Chaim is all about Torah.
Arguably, there IS a lot of that in NY.
But is NY The Capital of Torah in the whole world?
Joseph, maybe appdev was using the Chofetz Chaim’s map.
Can’t say I had it quite figured out either, Joseph.
If you ever meet my friend, or a similar Sephardi, you can ask.
Neville, you’re not understanding the way the Sephardim think.
They know for a fact that Moshe Rabbeinu spoke and dressed and behaved and ate exactly like they do. And the Ashkenazim are the unlicensed interlopers.
Here’s what a real live actual Sephardi acquaintance told me:
Moshe Rabbeinu lived in Egypt, right? So he was a Sephardi! Sephardim are therefore indisputably the real Jews!
Got that?
Yes, DY.
At least according to the OP.
He says you can’t have psak halacha.
So you’re right- that’s the way to go!
Hold on a minute while I delete a few numbers from my contacts…
Oh. I thought we all knew each other.
It’s simple, itsokay.
Materialism is lots of fun.
Gittin, sadly, are not.
H-isreading, yes, exactly what I felt too.
Dumbfounded completely by lovet12’s comments.
Either lives on a different planet, or a continuation of the troll infestation here of late.
This is an amazing thread.
Not necessarily in a good way.
By the way, can any of you help me out?
I’m looking to move to a neighborhood where all the men wear the exact same black hat with the exact same size brim, and the exact same shade of black socks that my husband wears. Everybody in the local shuls must daven with exactly the same havara as my husband. All married women must wear sheitels the exact same style, length and color as mine, and their pocketbooks must be in the same price range (give or take $10) as mine. All young women must use the same brand of baby wipes as my daughters and make the same salads for the Shabbos seuda as my daughters-in-law. Residents under 6 years of age must sing the same Parsha songs as my grandchildren. Babies must be wheeled around in the same strollers in use in my family (details supplied upon request). Chalav Yisroel, non-gebroktz, no tolaim in the water or the lettuce, and please don’t get me started on which shechita is acceptable. Milchigs at Kiddush only on Shavuos, and kreplach Erev Yom Kippur.
Replies greatly appreciated.
People who don’t wash for Shalosh seudos and Melave Malka (home baked Challa only), please don’t bother.
That’s very interesting, Joseph.
Of course I’m sure you realize that there must be many Rabbonim, poskim and Talmidei Chachamim who disagree. As Rashi is in fact taught to a large number of girls in schools affiliated with a lot of different Kehillos.
I would be interested to hear from someone who attended Rav Hirshprung’s Bais Yaakov in Montreal. I’m quite sure they also study Rashi and other mefarshim.
But first- The Answer to the OP’s Question, please!
I’m still waiting for someone to answer the OP’s question.
Please, please sign in, wise men of the CR, and tell us where the beautiful Minhag of teitching the passuk “Va’Ani” together with the Rashi in that warm niggun originated.
(And in case you’ll want to ask me the same question you asked Queen, -no, I didn’t learn it in Bais Yakov. But I remember it from other little boys, and some big ones.)
DY, I’m always impressed when you do that– Find a post from ages ago that fits right into the current discussion. Must be all that time spent hunched over a Gemara…
Can you also accurately pinpoint the exact daf and amud and line where anything your chavrusa mentions appears?
There’s an interesting theme running through a lot of these shidduch threads. I wonder if I’m the only one who’s noticed it.
Listen to the ladies talk about guys. They’re not describing them favorably, or expressing much respect. The guys are infantile, listening to Mommy, expecting financial support, shallow and obsessed with looks, among myriad other faults too numerous to list.
The guys’ mothers are the embodiment of evil, infantilizing their sons, interested in all the wrong things, asking ridiculous questions, and the polar opposite of the refined Eishes Chayil described by Shlomo Hamelech.
Now listen to the girls complain that they haven’t found their bashert: They are heartbroken. They want to be married and are not. They want a husband, presumably a guy (member of the same genus described above), who, if he’s not unfortunately an orphan, comes along with that venerable creature- the guy’s mother!
Switch all this to the high heels thread we’re in middle of right now. Say I join and list all the reasons I hate high heels. They’re extremely uincomfortable. They’re bad for my posture. They bend my vertebrae irreparably out of shape. I think they’re ugly. They make me look unattractive. They’re bad for my digestion. They’re more expensive than regular shoes. They look ridiculous. All my friends agree with me.
Then I end by stating that I’m devastated because I don’t have high heels. And all my friends who agree also don’t own any high heeled shoes and are upset.
What would you say?
DY,
LOL!!!!!!
If I had a seminary, you would be my #1 STAR Talmida.
Flowers, please don’t take everything so seriously.
Oomis, is one of our Top 10 Favorite posters.
I’m positive she meant no harm.
We’re all aware we’d be spinsters (oops!… that word again…) without our mothers-in-law, and where would that leave our grandchildren?
I have so many people to say things to, I don’t know where to start.
I guess the simplest message is-
Mod 127, Thank you very much.
The unhappy messages are-
Thisnameisal, I strongly disagree. I am not the voice of authority on these matters, but I still feel I have to say that you’re being presumptuous when you pretend to know why someone went OTD (there are other motivations that you left out). You might be completely wrong when you say he’s acting this way to numb the pain.
MDG, as above, you have no idea that his life was lacking structure. Why are you making that assumption? The army may or may not be taking him in a positive direction, and may or may not be giving him something he was lacking. Maybe he’s aware of that and most likely his mother knows. But if she didn’t say that, there’s no way you know and no reason for you to say it.
Write or wrong, I saved you for last.
Your last post is the most beautiful, cogent, thought-provoking piece of writing I’ve seen in these pages. As a parent, even though I’m not going through the same challenges as you, I found I could learn something from every word you wrote. Thank you for opening your heart to us. May the years ahead bring you only Nachas from your children!