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Lucy “Its totally standard to ask customer for receipt of purchases when leaving a store. ”
As long as EVERYONE (or at least MOST people) are asked to show the receipt – as when leaving Costco, BUT if only ONE person is TARGETED and no one else, that means you SUSPECT that person, and that is BOTH: (1) embarrassing; (2) insulting.
Sure a store may want to check someone’s pockets (“Excuse me sir, but can we check your coat pocket to see what items you might have forgotten to pay for?”), but wouldn’t you be (1) embarrassed; (2) insulted – giving you a RIGHT to be upset!
“I accused him of nothing i merely asked to see his receipt” – Goq
Really?! Let’s think this through, I will go slow:
Step One – What is a receipt? Answer: A receipt is proof of purchase.
Step Two – What does purchase mean? Answer: The item was paid for
Step Three – Why would a person need to show his receipt? Answer: To prove that the item was purchased (see above – purchased means he paid for it).
Step Four – Asking to show receipt means asking to PROVE that the item was purchased.
Step Five – By DEMANDING that a receipt be produced, you are suggesting that the item was NOT purchased.
Sorry, but an honest customer who paid for the product would be insulted by a suggestion that he is a gonif.
“There is no such thing as cholov stam anymore (except Germany), it’s called akum or cholov treif, per Igros Moshe, Rav Eliyashev, Rav Shmuel Wosner, etc. ”
People “feel better” when they call Cholov Akum – “Cholov Stam”! It sounds better. Makes it kind of parave: no “special hechsher” but no issur either.
Marketing, branding form our perception and creates our beliefs.
Calling it “Cholov stam” brings self-absolution when eating the Haagen Daaz.
Daas Yo – the same halochos are on the cRc website too.
“Anyone who drinks wine served by a non Jewish waiter is relying on a heter.”
Because some readers “pasken” based on the gedolim of the CR, a quick review of hilchos stam yainom:
The “heter” (or issur) is Yoreh Deah 124 which rules that if a non-Jew merely touched the bottle of wine, the wine is permissible. However, if the non-Jew touched the wine itself, with his hands or even his feet, all of the wine is prohibited.
If the non-Jew “shook” (shichshuch) the wine, in the times of the Talmud, ‘shichshuch’ was considered to be an act of pagan worship. Therefore, even if the non-Jew does not lift the bottle, if he shakes it, the wine is prohibited. Similarly, if he pours the wine into a decanter, or spins the bottle with a stick, that is also considered to be a form of shichshuch and the wine is prohibited.
The non-Jew gently moves the wine to put something else in its place. He rules, based upon the Beit Yosef, that if this happens in front of a Jew, this is considered to be “nianua kezat” and the wine is permissible.
When a non-Jew actually pours the wine. If he pours the wine into a cup, he may not drink or even derive benefit from the wine. Also, even the wine which remains in the bottle is prohibited, due to the concept of “nizok.” According to this rule, an uninterrupted flow of wine (nizok) from the cup to the bottle prohibits the wine left in the bottle.
The same would apply to wine which was poured by a Jewish person who publically violates the Shabbat, many poskim prohibit wine which was poured by a mechalel Shabbas b’farhesia.
These are serious and complex halachos – one cannot pasken based on “Sevoras HaBeten” (his own gut instinct) or “Regesh HaLev”.
“as was evident in the case of the customer in the supermarket”
Wait a minute! The customer actually paid for the flowers. It was demanded of him to prove that he paid – by producing a receipt (which he might have misplaced), failing to do so, he was being accused of being a gonif!
The TRUE fault lies with the floral department that failed to put a “paid” sticker on the flowers. The failure of the floral dept CAUSED this customer to be accused of being a gonif and created the pressure that he produce a receipt!
Is THAT fair?!
Suppose he misplaced the receipt (as we often do) or simply couldn’t find it in his many stuffed pockets – would he be forced to pay AGAIN for the flowers and viewed as if he attempted to steal them?!I believe that the customer was TOTALLY right to be upset by the demand that he must prove his innocence (“guilty until proven innocent”!).
Blame the floral dept for messing up – not the innocent and embarrassed customer!
Clarification:
Zochim l’adom, one can acquire for someone else – because of “migo d’zachi l’nafshei, zocha nami l’chavrei” (because one can acquire for oneself, one can also acquire for his friend), but a person can’t take 5 shul seats for themselves (it’s one seat per customer – unless excessively obese), likewise, a person can take a siddur for themselves – but only one, so how can they chap for others?Reserving and “saving” for someone else has gotten out of hand – a shul with limited siddurim: can someone save a stack of siddurim for friends and family that haven’t arrived yet? Can someone save a few seats for friends and family?
If so, is there a limit, on how many seats or siddurim one can save?
I come to a kiddush and literally, half the seats are “reserved” or “save” by one person for all her family or friends. That seems wrong!
Zochim l’adom, one can acquire for someone else, even if one does not need for himself, BUT only if lo chav l’acherim, it does not cause damage/harm for others. Seats, siddurim are limited and chapping them for others that aren’t here causes damage to those of us that are here.
No one would consider using goyish wine – even if one had a heter. Yet cholov akum is taken lightly in America. I was told by my grandparents that in Old Country they were
moser nefeshfor cholov yisroel.lacis asks how difficult was it to walk over to a neighbors farm – I don
t know, I wasnt there, but that is what I was told…maybe the goyish neighbor wasnt too happy to have a Yid stand over him when he milked the cow...I dont know, but that is the mesorah I was told.We live in an age of heteri – seeking a heter for anything that makes our lives easier. Imagine the mesirus nefesh of not having a Haagen Daaz icecream which isn
t cholov yisoel! Or to pass up those Christies Oreo cookies because we are Yidden that dont look for heterim - mamash mesiras nefesh! I wont even mention giving up on the Hershy chocolate – that would be a sin.“Confiscate all guns and make possession of it illegal for non-law enforcement/non-military.”
And following this “logic”, to prevent stabbings, confiscate all knives with blades longer than 2.5 inches (that is all the blade needed to cut a thick steak!) and make possession of longer knives illegal.
We can cut our food with safety scissors (rounded ends).
Make it a felony to possess these prohibited knives !
That would work – really?!
It is the same logic as preventing car accidents and fatalities by lowering the speed limit to 5 mph. No one dies. Hardly any accidents. But the drive will be slower than joggers passing you.
Oh – they did that in NYC (lowered speed limit to 25 mph)…never mind.
Dear Rational,
There is logic to madness – even (or especially) “frum” madness, aka “krum”.
I heard the logic of someone illegally parking (blocking a driveway etc) when attending davening in shul: Davening is an “essay” (a positive commandment) and illegal parking is (at best) a “lo sa’asay” (a negative prohibition), and we all know that “essay docheh lo sa’assay” (a positive commandment overrides a negative prohibition)!
So yes, a choleh is a “cheftza shel mitzva” and like the hoshana we must klup him 5 times on the ground till we fulfill the mitzva.
Besides, when we visit we remove 1/60 of his illness, so our visit benefits the choleh more than rest or convenience.
For a choleh, there is leniency on a shvus (d’rabbonon) on shabbos….ask yourself, what is more important, a shvus or a hospital rule?! If a shvus can be ignored for a choleh, kal v’chomer a hospital rule about bikur cholim zmanim!
I actually witnessed a scenario while on vacation visiting a certain shul (to be unnamed) in Florida:
Shabbos shachris, davening starts with around 20 men, at least 15 of them are non-member visitors,
The non-member guests ARE the minyan!! (Except for Rov, Gabbei and three regulars)
The chazon for shachris is a visitor that has a chiyuv.
Yet, lo and behold, at shochen ad a few members trickle in – one has a chiyuv and wants the omud (he will catch up quickly by saying Boruch Sh’Amar. Ashrei, Oz Yoshir…)!
Guess who davens at omud from Shochen Ad – the member chiyuv!
More members wander in after shmonei esrei and they need the limited siddurim, chumashimm, seats and Aliyos.
These late attending members demand their seats, siddurim, chumashim and bump the chiyuvim for aliyos of the visitors that MADE THE MINYAN!
I felt a sense of injustice – if you want your “rights” as a member, COME ON TIME!
Do late coming members get their seats reserved indefinitely – to remain empty, until they show up?
At what point does the “reservation” expire and the seat is freed up?
I think of “stand by” at the airlines, when a reserved seat remains empty, the stand-by passenger gets it just before take-off.
When is “take-off” in shul davening? (Hodu, Boruch sh’amar, shochen ad, kriya, kiddush)
These days American Yiden travel on vacation or business to various places and use the cholov akum there – places like the Caribbean Islands, Asia, cruise ships etc where there is NO government inspection at all. The michshal is tremendous! Many are used to drinling cholov akum and continue doing so without realizing the grave issur – and there is no heter outside of America (including South America or Central America)! For this reason alone one should be medayek on cholov Yisroel, something that our forefathers were mosser nefesh for in the Old Country.
Who is greater in Torah than Moshe Rabeinu? He was taught Torah directly from the Nossen HaTorah! Yet when he heard the teachings of Rabbi Akivah, he could not follow and “cholsha da’ato” (till he heard R’ Akiva say that ultimately it was halacho l’;Moshe m’sinai).
In halacha too, the halacha is a “living tree”, – lo b’shamayim hee, it was given to CHazal to use the 13 middos that the Torah is darshened with, plus the future chidishei Torah and the rulings of gedolei ha’poskim to which we are bound.
The Rambam followed his halochos, as did the Rosh and Rif, but the Tur decided how we should behave and what our halacha is, yet the Bais Yossef compliled the shulchan oruch, and the Ramo glosses for Ashkenazim, but that did not end to be the final halacha. The Magen Avrohom and Taz, the pri Megodim and others might overrule earlier halacha.
Then the gedolei achronim of poskim: The Rav Shulchan Oruch, the Oruch Hashulchan, the Mishne Brura …and the hundreds of poskim I missed.
Did they “perfect” or just ADD CHUMROS???
no!!! They are the R’Akiva that Moshe could not follow, they are the halacha of our day – different then the Rambam, Rosh or Rif.
It isn’t technology, it isn’t perfecting or chumros – it is the evolution of halacha, a living tree.
There is a mitzva of bikur cholim. Imagine if you need to put on tefillin but you missed the “visiting hours” to don the tefillin, wouldn’t you become pushy and insist?! A choleh is a cheftza shel mitzvah. The choleh is your tefillin, he is your lulov to shokel. The lulov may get shook up by the person doing the mitzvah, but we gotta do it, sorry lulov. I need to do my mitzvah and NO, it needs to be done today, right now – (ain mavirin al hamitzvos, mitzva haba l’yadcha al tchamtzena etc). Do we really have the right to disregard the mitzva because the nurse decided it is past the “zman” for visiting?!
Yogurt has basically three types of sugars:
Lactose – a naturally occurring sugar found in milk;
Fruit (in fruit flavored yogurt) – a mix of sucrose, fructose and glucose;
Sugar – “free sugar” added.When yogurt is made from skim milk or low fat milk, the companies often need to add sugar to compensate for the lost lactose sugar.
Not all sugars are to be treated equally and there is “bad” sugar that should be limited in our diets vs sugar that doea does not harm healthy people..
Even checking the nutritional facts for gm of sugar may not reveal the breakdown of the sugar sources.
The cholov akum yogurts vary widely in sugar content: The lowest supermarket brands have less than 5 gm sugar, while certain varieties of Dannon has 12 gm sugar, Stoneyfield has 24 gm, Yoplait has 27 gm,
To say cholov yisroel brands have significantly more sugar is simply factually inaccurate.
Annon Jew – most frum Yidden today would not eat from Moshe Rabbeinu’s shchita! I don’t say this merely for the shock factor but the reality is that Chazal over the generations have added and modified many halachos that became not just “chumoros” but part of mainstream halacha, thereby disqualifying the type of “chalev” (knife) that Moshe Rabbenu would have used.
The same applies for matzas – are matzos are very thin compared to matzos in times of Bais Mikdosh that were exceedingly thick. No one today (in the Ashkenazi world) would use such matzos.
I doubt Moshe Rabbeinu wore two pairs of teffilin – Rashi and R’ Tam!
My point is, we cannot simply say that if something was done before the times of Shulchan Oruch, it must be ok. Indeed, in times of Shas, the talmud tells us that in the city of Rav they followed the halacha as cited by Rav, while in the city of Shmuel they followed Shmuel’s view. That does not allow us to pick and choose how we should conduct ourselves!
As follow up, one may think that it is “tottally” ossur to daven in a shul with lions or keruvim etc., for balance, I MUST add:
Kenesses Yichezkel (cited in Pischei Teshuva Y.D. 141:6) explains that the common practice is to be lenient and that since the images are always in the Shul and the congregants are used to them there is no concern that they will ruin their concentration. A similar permissive view was expressed by Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul zt”l. (Ohr Letzion vol. 2 page 64)
In summary: Lchatchila if one can influence the shul to use a porochet without lions – that is certainly the ideal, but if the porochet already has lions, or lions sculptures are on the Aron Hakodesh, yesh al mi lismoch to daven in such a shul.
The Bais Yossef in responsa Avkat Rochel (Chapter 63) writes lengthily about this matter and writes that one should not make forms or images of lions and the like on the curtain of the Aron Kodesh or on the Aron Kodesh itself.
Ohr Zarua (Masechet Avodah Zara, Chapter 203) writes that there was an incident in Cologne where images of lions were drawn on the windows of the synagogue and Rabbeinu Elyakim ruled that they must be removed based on the verse, “You shall not make for yourself a statue or any image.” Furthermore, when the congregation prays and bows while facing these images, it seems as if they are bowing to the images and this is forbidden. The Ohr Zarua adds: “I remember that when I was younger, they would draw forms of birds and other animals in the synagogue and I ruled that this is forbidden, for this would cause people to pay attention to the beauty of the images as opposed to concentrating on their prayer.” He brings sources to support his view.
Chida (in his Sefer Shiyurei Beracha, Yoreh De’ah, Chapter 141) quotes a certain Gaon who writes that it is obvious that one may not allow such images of lions in synagogues or Batei Midrash (Houses of Study) where people pray on a regular basis. He adds that anyone who rules leniently on this matter will have to give reckoning before Hashem for this.
Yechave Da’at, (Volume 3, Chapter 62) that it is forbidden to hang a curtain embroidered with images of lions on the Aron Kodesh. He adds that rabbis in Israel and all over the world for that matter must raise public awareness about this issue, convince the caretakers of synagogues to remove such curtains and other such forms around the synagogue, and to no longer produce such curtains with these images.
A slightly lenient opinion from Ben Ish Chai in Parashat Yitro, distinguishes in this regard between pictures drawn on the wall itself, and images that protrude from the wall. In the case of illustrations drawn on the wall, the Ben Ish Hai writes, one may pray facing the wall provided that he closes the eyes to demonstrate that he does not intend to worship the pictures. When it comes, however, to images that protrude from the wall, the Ben Ish Hai forbids praying facing toward the wall, even if one closes his eyes.
Background discussion:
Mador Shechina: Angels; lions; ox; eagle, Man (Michaber 141/4; Abayey in Avodas Kochavim 43b; Omitted in Rambam Hilchos Avodas Kochavim 3/11, see Kesef Mishneh there):
It is forbidden to form the creations that are found on the chambers of the Shechina[The reason: As the verse states “Lo Sasun Iti” which refers to those creatures that live with Me [Hashem]. [Shach 141/20; Rashi ibid] [the Divine chariot] such as:
a) The four faces [on the chariot, which are the lion/ox/eagle/man[Shach 141/20 in second explanation; Rashi ibid] or lion/baby/eagle/adult[Shach 141/20
Face of an ox versus baby: The Gemara Chagiga 12b states that Yichezkal came along and switched the face of an ox for the face of a Keruv, which would imply that the face of an ox is no longer part of the chariot.
[Shach 141/20 in his first explanation]However, in truth, one can say that the face of the ox still remains part of the prohibition, being that it was on the chariot at the time that verse of prohibition was stated. [Shach 141/10 in his second explanation] At the same time however it is also forbidden to form the face of a baby, together with the other three faces of the adult/lion/eagle together. [Shach ibid]] all in one picture [as the face of a single animal[Shach 141/20, 21, 30; Taz 141/7; Rashi ibid explains “for a single animal”, meaning that a single animal may not contain these four faces.]. [It is however permitted to form these faces individually, with exception to the human, which may not be made even individually, as will be explained.[Taz 141/7; Shach 141/21, 30; Semak 160; Ran] It is likewise permitted to form two or three of these faces, with exception to the human face in which some Poskim are stringent, as will be explained. The above prohibition only applies to making a sculpture of the entire body together with the face, however to just make a head with the four faces is permitted.[Taz ibid; See Michaber 141/7
The reason: As in the chambers of the Shechina the four faces were complete with bodies. This is also proven from the fact the Ran and Semak ibid question why the Talmud implies that only four faces together are forbidden while in truth even man alone is forbidden, and they do not answer that here the prohibition refers to just the face, which is permitted by man. This proves that the entire case of the Talmud referred to making a body with the four faces and hence their question applied. [Taz ibid]Other opinions: Some Poskim rule the faces of the chariot did not have complete bodies and hence the prohibition applies even to simply making a headwhich contains the four faces. [Maharit Y.D. 2/35 in implication of question of Ran ibid who did not answer that a mere head of a human is allowed; brought in Gilyon Maharsha 141/7]
If one found the sculpture of a human and then added to it the other three faces he transgresses the above prohibition.[Taz 141/7; Shach 141/21; Semak 160; Ran; Tosafus Avoda Zara 43a and Rosh Hashana 24]]
b) Angels such as Serafim, Ofanim, [Chayos Hakodesh[Avoda Zara 43b; VeTzaruch Iyun why Chayos Hakodesh was not mentioned by Michaber ibid]] and Malachei Hashareis.[Michaber and Gemara ibid] [This refers to a human like figure with wings.[Taz ibid]K-cup, many shuls have lions on poroches or even as staues on top of aron hakodesh. Lions are definitely an avoda zara and one is prohibited to daven towards such images and forms…I guess there is a heter, so that heter applies to Chabd too, no?
I ask with respect and with the desire to be educated in the meaning of terms that seem to contradict each other, but are routinely used:
Can you please define the following terms (especially in relation to each other) in concise clear language:
1. world IS in ” state of geulah”
2. “waiting” for moshiach
2. “atchalta d’geula”
3. “imminent”_”coming” of moshiach
4. “revelation” of moshiach
5. “ikvesa d’meshicha”And also please explain the contradictory one-liners like “it is darkest before dawn” vs “already seeing the impact of moshiach’s arrival” (various positive things (fall of Iron Curtain and USSR, nations recognizing EY belongs to yidden – which BTW happened in 1948 – not when Trump moved the embassy, but let’s not get confused by historical facts)
I am late in the conversation, yet I ask this with respect and curiousity.
Tefilah is avoda sh’b’lev – emotional avodah. It is difficult to remain still when being emotional. The chassidic world, specifically the Polish chassidim were exremely emotional during davening, both in body movement, clapping, crying out etc. At the time, the “Litvish” world looked at this strange and felt it was improper. Today many Litvish trace their roots to Chassidim and have adopted many Chassidic customs including the shokelling and waving hands upwards during shmonei esrei etc. (not to mention “Tzadikim pictures” on Litvish walls, which years ago Litvish would mock Chassidim over – as borderline avoda zara!). Lubavitch is more of an “intellectual” chassidus, rather than emotional chassidus. Hence minimal shokeling, outcries etc. I saw video of the Rebbe davening shmonei esrei standing perfectly still – like a servant before his Master (very moving and inspiring!).
Reb Yid: By all means, remind us all of “the tragic history of Rebbitzen Golden-Pick-A-Nicer-Screen-Name’s name”! Was it tragic?
RebYid: Following your logic, adults shouldn’t be allowed to have knives because they can injure someone…but guess what? Adults CAN have knives, because presumably, they will act responsibly and not hurt anyone with the knives…drinking too, when one begins to drink, if he needs transportation, there is a designated driver or uber or the keys are given to someone else …but let’s continue with your logic: Adults that do not (or can not) drive CAN drink without restrictions?!!
Haimy: Did you not know that “shloshim yom kodem ha’chag” one must begin to be osek in the halochos of the chag? Thirty days before Adar one must begin being osek in “mishenichnas Adar…”!!
It is ossur and an aveira to waste liquor on teenagers. Baal tashchis!! Keep the liquor for the adults that appreciate it (and need it to cope with the teenagers).
Thank you Knaidl for you hascoma, and at 100%, that is a maximum agreement! I would add that there is a “yeridas hadoros” which requires compensation in Torah academia. I think the rosh yeshivas of today are not like the rosh yeshivas of previous generations, but would bochurim today really appreciate the depth and creativity of a shiyur from Reb Chaim (the GRACH), or Reb Elchonon, or Reb Boruch Ber or Reb Moshe Mordechai or Reb Shimon Shkop….Yiftach b’doro k’Shmuel b’doro, each dor gets leaders acording to the dor. I would suggest, each dor gets a shas according to the needs of that dor!
Define “healthy”. Is it healthy for math students to have calculators? Is it healthy for writers to have spell/grammar-checks? The world keeps evolving and some skills may be weakened while others are strengthened. With the invention of matches, many of us lost the skill of starting a fire by rubbing sticks together – is that unhealthy? Was the printing of “mesoras haShas” unhealthy (cross references each segment of Gemarah with other places it is mentioned)? Today there are seforim on databases with search engines! A rov can search for teshuvas! The market today is flooded with Seforim that are melaket (collect) in halacha. drush, meforshim on chumash…Get with the program. While we make learning easier, it allows for energy to be spent on deeper concepts in the learning.
When we go on vacation, my husband always brings along 10 bottles of scotch – because a Yid needs to always have a minyan. I asked him once, why 10 bottles, isn’t 9 bottles plus you you a minyan? He patiently expkined that the 10 bottles are the minyan and he is the bais hamedrash in which the minyan enters. Be b’simcha tomid. Ad dilo yada!
My husband makes a siyum every day. Some days he makes a siyum of a mesechta and other days he makes a a siyum of Jonny Walker. Since women are also mechuyiv in this halacha of “Mishenichnas adar marbin besimcha” – I join him!
Popa: If you rejected them, then they weren’t your beshert.
CHazal say you can make shidduchim even on Tisha B’ Av because if the shidduch is delayed someone else might “chap ” it before you. Chazal say that someone can daven extra hard and get a shidduch meant for you…
(I don’t know the citations but I was taught this).
Trolls are easy to spot: ANy opinion I disagree with is obviously a troll. It’s not acceptable to call them meshuga or stupid, that is not nice! Instead, let’s givel them the name Troll!. Listen carefully to the mohel at the next bris: V’yira shemo b’Yisrel Troll,
Maggid, Since when does “kovod shabbos” mean fressing cholent and kigel?
Does The Maggid have something against kishke?
Dr. Anders Nerman, a Canadian-trained Naturopathic Physician living and practicing in Jerusalem, estimated the average total caloric intake on Shabbat was 6,130 calories!
Having three days worth of calories crammed into one day – THAT is “kovod shabbos”!
Should I change my name to Aishes Chayil?
Ko somar l’bais yaakov, v’tagid l’bnei yisroel – the women were given the Torah first!