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MA, do you give this advice to your patients?
And after all those years of flossing, and feeling guilty when not flossing, they decide that flossing probably has negligible benefits and it was never researched…
Did they research the benefits of toothpaste, or have we all been played?
“Even if he’s an MO rabbi?” I think that is pretty offensive. I know some MO rabbanim who are special, holy people, who are saturated with Torah and are some of the most special people I know. No need to knock all of MO with one broad stroke.
So, I’m a bit confused now – what did you mean by stumbling blocks?
Oh, thanks lilmod ulelamaid. So then what was with the stumbling blocks?
These posts should be numbered so we can refer to the ones we mean, because when posts are not published in real time, crossed wires happen.
1- There is true religious zeal, and there is the zeal which masquerades as kaanus LaHashem when it really stems from the yetzer hara. No need to go into detail motzai tisha ba’av.
2- See #1. True Torah and true humanity are one and the same. The problem is when the yetzer hara presents misguided zeal.
3- By peeling away, I do not mean discarding. Although – sometimes there is chitzonius which is narishkeit and should be discarded.
4- By that, I was actually referring to all people, not just Jews.
Sparkly, it is very natural to have such feelings. The question is what you do with those feelings.
This is why the Torah and Chazal have set up so many gedarim. Feelings can be fickle, yet so powerful, and they can lead us to places we can regret afterwards. Boundaries and precautions ensure that you are protected from impulsivity or mistakes.
While I have a lot more to say, I think most of it is beyond the scope of the CR. Do you have a mentor irl that you can discuss things with? Being in a secular environment all day can lead one to be in sort of an isolated bubble spiritually, and it’s important to stay connected to people who share your goals and spiritual aspirations.
This thread is a breath of beautiful fresh air.
I respect all Yidden whose zeal and religious sensitivities don’t override their humanity, and use it to become kinder, more sensitive people.
I respect those who have had the courage to form their own relationship with Hashem and create their own path after suffering from abuse in the name of religion.
I respect those who can peel away the chitzonios and find the pnimiyus within Yiddishkeit.
I respect every person in the world who uses their struggles and challenges to make the world a better place.
Fortunately, my hunger is at about a 3-4.
Thirst is a different story.
Sparkly – as in your own feelings?
Sparkly, that’s okay. You can’t control other people’s feelings, you can only take responsibility for your own responses and your part of the interactions. As long as you’re doing that, you’re doing fine.
What worked for me was to be respectful, cordial, and consistently formal. “I’m sorry, I am religious and don’t high-five/shake hands with any men. Thank you.” I was careful not to be too friendly with guys ever, so as not to send mixed messages. Be nice, be respectful, but be distant as well.
Sparkly, I think I may have misunderstood some of what you were saying.
Maalot= the institution itself is not accredited. That is true.
Maalot classes = are all accredited, even Hebrew ones, and the credits are granted through accredited colleges. (Including Thomas Edison, which has regional accreditation, the highest level of accreditation in the United States.)
Maalot students can get all the credits they need to get their fully accredited BA in Maalot.
Many Maalot students who have gotten their degree only through Maalot’s classes have gone on to prestigious graduate schools.
And I think that’s that.
Have a great Shabbos everyone, and an easy, meaningful fast. May we be zoche to celebrate Tisha Ba’av next year with much joy and gladness in the rebuilt and redeemed Yerushalayim.
False.
Sparkly, see my list above. I’ve already written it.
And no, Maalot themselves is a partner school with Thomas Edison State University and therefore all of Maalot’s classes themselves are accredited. You can complete a full degree at Maalot. While Maalot is not a college in it of itself, their classes are fully accredited classes and they get full credit for it.
I may be completely misunderstanding you, Sparkly, or we’re just going around in circles.
I’ve given you a list of people I personally know who have gone to the colleges listed above. NONE of them went to CCBC, they went to graduate school right after graduating Maalot. They did their prerequisites in Maalot.
Like I said, you don’t have to believe me. I definitely will not out myself to post my acceptance letter to a highly prestigious graduate school in a competitive field.
I just wanted to point out the fallacies in your argument. I have brought you proof, (or as strong of a proof as I could on an anonymous online forum), and you claim that my proof is invalidated by the fact that you know other people who have not had the same experience.
Reframe that approach in a different conversation, and you get something that sounds like this:
Person A: I know a few people who went to Bnos Pesha and hated it.
Person B: That’s sad. The people I know who went to Bnos Pesha loved it and gained a lot there.
Person A: Nuh uh, it can’t be, because the people I know who went there hated it!
Person B: Well, the girls I know who went there loved it, and they <insert list of things they achieved at Bnos Pesha.>
Person A: No, I know all the girls in Bnos Pesha hated it, because I know some girls there who hated it. It can’t be that you know girls who loved it.
Now for the nimshal.
I get that the people you know who have gone to Maalot went to community college afterwards to do their prereqs. <b>But</b> that doesn’t mean that when I say that I know other people who got accepted to top ranking graduate schools directly from Maalot, that what I am saying is a lie because you know people who did differently.
All I was saying is that it is possible for students to go to Maalot for their bachelors, and get into great graduate schools – without having to go to community college or elsewhere in between. I myself have done this.
It may not be half the girls. It may not be most of them. But it is definitely possible, and has already been done by tens of Maalot students I know. To discount what I am saying by extrapolating from the girls you know – which is not the whole Maalot student body – to insist that every single one of them must have had the same experience as what you’ve been exposed to or led to understand- is not a working argument.
No. And please note that I did not specify which Maalot I went to. There is more than one.
“also your ONLY talking this way since you went there.” -That, my dear, is an ad hominem attack, which is a logical fallacy. Try again.
(Perhaps a course in Rhetoric 101 or joining the debate team next semester would be helpful.)
No need to apologize, I understand it is difficult to let go of preconceived notions.
Of course though, as a bona fide college student, surely you wouldn’t draw firms conclusions without at least doing some proper research and investigation. Firmly deciding that something is true or false even when faced with evidence to the contrary, without bothering to verify or legitimately disclaim, is a practice of the uneducated masses, not students of proper universities.
You can start your investigation with the Maalot website: “Maalot students have gone on to graduate schools such as NYU, Long Island University, Columbia, Adelphi, University of Southern California, University of Maryland, Touro and Hunter College. They have pursued professions in education, social work, counseling, nursing, occupational and speech therapy, graphic and web design, computer science, business and others.”
You can then speak with Maalot students, who after all are primary sources.
Let me know your findings. 😉
Sigh. Sparkly, they worked really, really hard, took a lot of courses each semester, and were constantly writing papers and doing exams. Some girls literally woke up, went to classes, and did schoolwork until their eyes closed on them. You cannot get your BA without 120 credits, and they had just as many credits as every college graduate. How do I know? I went there myself. And got accepted to a prestigious graduate school, straight from Maalot. As did some of my friends and many other Maalot graduates I know. Maalot itself isn’t a college, but they are a partner with Thomas Edison State University, which is accredited 100%. Our professors all got their Phds from top ranking universities, and I got a solid, quality education. What I said about the girls who went to Columbia, I heard first hand from those girls.
Feel free not to believe me. Just because you haven’t heard of it or it doesn’t fit into some preconceived notions, does not mean it isn’t true.
Sparkly, once again, just because a college is not prestigious or elite does not mean it is unaccredited.
These colleges are fully accredited.
I can give you a partial list of girls I know who went to Maalot – I’m including the Yerushalayim branch as well – and:
– got accepted to John Hopkins for premed
-got accepted to LIU for an MSW
-went to Wurtzweilers for an MSW
-got accepted to Columbia for psychology
-3 who went to Columbia for education
-got accepted to John Hopkins, I’m not sure what field
-got accepted (and I think went) to Boston University
-went to Penn
These are off the tip of my head. There are many more. Believe it or not, there are many very bright students who go to less than stellar colleges and get into fantastic graduate schools.
Sparkly, do you know what accredited means? We don’t get to decide who is qualified and who isn’t. There is an official board which accredits colleges, and yes, these places meet all their qualifications.
Sarah Schenirer students get their degrees from Mercy College. TTI from the University of Texas and others.
They are just as accredited as Harvard, Yale, Stanford, etc. They are not as prestigious, but they are accredited.
I know a few people with Thomas Edison degrees (gotten through Maalot, with 30 credits from seminary and 90 credits in one year) who have gone to Columbia. They all said they were well prepared and in some ways ahead of many of their classmates.
Never mind; I see it’s from four years ago.
Sparkly, are you sure it’s unaccredited? I have a few friends who got their (accredited) degrees there. They’ve gone on to prestigious graduate schools without a problem.
Sparkly – that is a major generalization which is not true. There are hundreds of chassidish girls in Boro Park and Williamsburg getting degrees every year. Look at the TTI and Sara Schenirer classrooms and you will see them full of typical chassidish girls. You may argue that they’re not in real college, but their degrees are legally just as accredited as Harvard’s. Maybe *some* chassidish girls getting degrees are otd or on their way, but following that logic, *some* chassidish girls who eat gefilte fish every Shabbos are either otd on their way too.
Sparkly, I don’t know about that. I guess the best thing to do is contact them. I can’t post any links, but do a search for Neve Yerushalayim, you can contact them through their website.
While I am tempted to agree with Joseph for the very first time after reading at least 1000 of his comments under various screen names, this whole election has been so strange that there may just be some more nasty surprises ahead.
For example, if there is a major terror attack on American soil perpetrated by Muslim refugees two days before the election, many people may vote for Trump due to mass hysteria. He’s been talking about these kind of things his whole campaign, you know, while Hillary’s stance has been that Islam is a religion of peace.
So while I pray that Herr Drumpf never gets elected to any position of power, I think we won’t know anything definitely until the election is actually over.
lilmod ulelamaid, I am talking about new policies made this year. I heard this from both a Neve madricha and a former Neve student. Neve has had a major turnover this past year both in staff and approach. Again, worth a try to ask them, as I haven’t heard this from the principal’s mouth myself, but this is what I heard.
Last I heard, Neve stopped taking in ffb girls and is only accepting bts and girls who are not yet religious. I’m not 100% sure, and there may be exceptions, but I’ve heard this from some people at Neve. There used to be another track in Neve called Shalhevet, but that closed this year too. But, I do know of someone who never went to seminary, who is planning on attending Maalot on the Neve campus. Officially it’s a shana bet program, but there are sometimes girls in their 20s who attend too.
Joseph-
They banned the internet.
They banned smartphones.
Did it help?
No.
Will banning Whatsapp help?
Banning isn’t working. The internet is a keli with so many functions – both good and bad – and a completely different animal than historic challenges.
Instead of chasing after an endless cycle of banning, banning new things, banning newer things, which rov am isn’t listening to anyway – how about teaching about boundaries? And how to use technology appropriately as mentchen? How about teaching how to use middos, empathy, common sense and rational behavior in every aspect of life, including online?
Instead of wasting energy uselessly decrying that which exists and will continue to exist, why not accept that the internet is here to stay whether you ban it or not, and spend that fiery energy teaching crucial skills for navigating the internet successfully?
Ya think they’re in the CR?
I didn’t say my fellow Jews, I said my fellow New Yorkers. Personally, I don’t think Cruz would make a great president either, but I’d take a theocracy over a totalitarian dictatorship.
Dina Perlstein is doing a new film this year, if you like the action genre. Her movies are usually very good.
There’s a new film advertised in the Mishpacha – My Sister, My Keeper. It looks historical, which I love. Can’t post a link here, but there was a trailer at the FingerprintMediaworld website that I saw yesterday on YWN.
There’s probably also a bunch of other films that will be shown, like every year, just check your local circulars or magazines.
Are you male or female? The answer greatly varies depending on your gender…
I am ashamed of my fellow New Yorkers… What were they thinking when they voted for Trump??
Bnos Avigail is very much catered for the ‘thinking Bais Yaakov girl.’
It is very, very academic and textual.
Rebbetzin Heller said that the year is divided with three concentrations: bein adam lamakom, lachaveiro, and la’atzmo.
The approach is very much focused on relevance to the girls life, I think also developing your inner self, through the texts.
They also have great extracurricular and tiyulim.
The only sem I can think of that shares the same type of goals/approach is Binas. I know some brilliant girls who went there and loved it- it’s academic, textual and focused on depth and relevance, very warm and is a BY which likes individuality. Their principal taught at Machon Raya for a while and incorporated some of their style into the curriculm.
Nachalas is a great sem, but not as academic. But Tehilas, which opened this year, is their sister school or branch, something like that, and supposed to be very academic. I don’t know about how open-minded they are, but it might be worth checking out.
They’re on separate floors but definitely together a lot and you can become close friends with American girls- they’re not segregated.
Pninim: Very warm and you can form amazing connections with very caring teachers, incredible, incredible classes with teachers who are brilliant and deep, the girls are a huge mix- a lot of different types.
Levavi: I don’t know as much about, but it’s also very warm, girls are definitely not NY type, it’s officially a BY and has very good girls, but it might be a bit too open-minded for what you’re looking for. But don’t rely on any of us in the CR bec we don’t know you personally… Check it out yourself.
-Call the principal/staff and ask them what type of girl they’re looking for, before telling them what you want, so you get a real answer.
-Ask girls who have been there- girls who are there this year will usually paint a picture of bliss bec they’re experiencing it right now and are very subjective.
-Sit in on classes, or at least visit, to truly get the vibe, the tone, the atmosphere of the place.
-Speak to girls who have been madrichot there
Extremely.
The girls I know who went there got accepted to sems like BJJ and Masores Rochel.
I think BJJ has a pretty strict policy of not accepting girls who live in Israel; I could be wrong.
Chedvas is veeery different than Pninim; not just more BY but a totally different mentality. You have to make sure it’s your style, maybe sit in for a few days on classes. If it’s your type, you’ll love it and have an amazing year; if not, you’ll be miserable as it’s a very distinctive style.
And you’re lucky- while American-Israelis go to Chedvas for their first year, for Americans it’s their shana bet, so even though it’s a very frum BY place, they let you have laptops and have a much more lenient internet policy.
Someone already mentioned it, but Pninim sounds like a good fit for you.
The girls I know that went to Bnos Avigail are very bright, creative girls (2 yeshivish-not extreme, one not so much) who are really nice and got accepted to top seminaries. They all chose to go there precisely because it’s not an in-the-box sem, has brilliant and deep, thought-provoking classes, and also a lot because of Rebbetzin Heller. They say there’s a very nice mix of girls, and from what I understand, is not judgmental at all.
The best thing to do is call girls who are there and ask them to describe what type of girls are there.
The point of my post was to show how, while our instinctive reaction may be to condemn this boy, many of us would lose our composure momentarily as well. Yes, it’s wrong, but it takes exemplary self control to ignore people yelling at you for an hour straight. Before being so harsh and self righteously preaching, we should just ask ourselves “what would I have done in the same situation?”
A gmar chasima tova. May we all merit to have Hashem judge us leniently for our faults, and may we all emerge zakai badin, ready to face a wonderful year of redemption. Have a beautiful Yom Kippur!
I just passed by the site where they are protesting again. Try enduring an hour straight of manic yelling, with twenty people shrieking “shame on you!” Without pause, while you’re a teenager trying to do possibly your first real job, and then we’ll talk.
Though tonight, one fellow came up with an ingenious solution; he put on a lively chassidic song that drowned out the protestors and had every frum male there dancing. What a sight!
Syag: In a lot of places, such as mosdos, who do kapporos, it’s the money you pay for the chickens that goes to tzedaka.
As far as the chickens, a family friend once spotted a popular kapporos center dumping them. When indignantly asking why, she was told that the processing fees and quality of the fowl didn’t make it worth it to clean, kasher, and distribute them.
The reason we don’t ask for personal requests on Rosh Hashana (at least the first day), is because the integral focus of the day is being mamlich Hashem.
So, no, the same reason does not apply. Yom Kippur is a highly personal day of slicha and kapparah.
Not true. There is great significance to jewelry. Learn about the significance of Chava’s jewelry and how women are meant to use their jewelry as a connector.
The most outrageous thing I recently heard is about a successful, accomplished, sweet single girl, in her mid twenties, who had to buy a house so that boys would want to go out with her and she could finally get a date.
Now that is truly Outrageous!!!
Someone I know, 20+ with a full beard, tried getting onto a bus with a student pass geared for elementary and high school aged kids. When the bus driver started yelling at him, he looked at him with a pained expression and said sadly, “It’s bad enough my principal made me repeat a few grades, you have to embarrass me in public too?”
How did Yom Tov become ‘yontif’???
The Three Shteigers
Stepping on a piece of lego with bare feet. Full force.
Having a mosquito bite in an unreachable place.
Cutting too much into your nails.
Painful hanging skin right at kabbolos Shabbos- another 24 hours to go!
Pouring spoiled milk into the last teaspoon of coffee you have in the house.
Nicking an already nicked area when shaving.
Having a neighbor who sings chazzanus off key.
Bnei Heichala- the Chabad one- esp sung by Benny Friedman. Sang it a lot in Israel, and every time I hear or sing it now, I’m transported back to a narrow, cobbled alleyway from a different world…
Yedid Nefesh- there’s two I have in mind, don’t know who composed them. Also learned both of them in Israel- never even knew of Yedid Nefesh before… the first time I heard it, i had chills running up and down my body… still do every time i hear it.
Mah Tagidu- every time I think of the meaning of the words, I cry… which is awkward at random shabbos tables and simchos. 😉
Don’t Hide from Me- Avraham Fried, and many other Avraham Fried songs I can’t recall now.
Lecha Dodi- I think it’s the Breslov one- Simply Tsfat sings it.
Kad Yasvun Yisroel- the really old one (that is also sung in Yiddish) and Benny Friedman.
Kidshu Brich Hi (Hu)- Chabad song sung on A Forshpiel in Viznitz…