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That’s because we are desensitized. Rav Moshe wasn’t. He has three or four teshuvos repeating that it is assur, and says about someone who held it was okay that “Perhaps they reasoned that this is not derech chibah and taavah – but l’maaseh this is difficult to rely on.”
And it is totally wrong to write (as above) that Rav Moshe “holds that derech chiba is objective, meaning that there are types of touching that are asur and there are types of touching that are mutar”. Rav Moshe writes that “Furthermore I don’t see any inconsistency at all with that which I permitted a person to travel on a bus because there – there is basically no issue of chibah.”
Who is anyone here to pasken whether the RBS”O agrees with HaRav Aisenstark shlit”a’s position? (Not to even mention he is a long-time of many decades and highly successful menhael of a Beis Yaakov.)
Keeping OTD children in a home where they are negatively influencing siblings and potentially bringing the other brothers and sisters OTD with them is a major shaila, and not something one can be sure it is even permissible to keep said OTD child in the home.
Think of the bachelors we had in klal yisroel: Rabbi Yaakov Weinberg, the Sridei Esh, the alter mirrers, and most gedolim were either divorced or widowed for a significant part of their life and so on.
The Sridei Eish was divorced. I know of no gedolim who never got married and precious few who were divorced.
squeak: Her #3 fits perfectly in line with her #1. Her point being forcing some kind of equality is not a positive thing.