first of all, i commend you for reaching out. just know that you are not alone. unfortunately, many people suffer from depression and mostly in silence. your post touched me because i used to suffer from severe depression for way too many years. i was officially diagnosed when i was 18 but was probably suffering from it since i was 13. it stayed with me until my mid-20’s. it was the worst years of my life but i would not be where i am today without going through all of it. i was in therapy and on different meds for years. nothing worked and then Hashem sent me a new doctor who changed my meds and for the first time in years, i had a smile on my face. when i was first diagnosed they told me i would always be like this and on meds forever. i have been med free for years. don’t give up. it takes a while to find the right medication and the right dosage. i know it isn’t easy but you have to have patience. if the meds you are currently on have been in your system for a while and don’t seem to be helping, then ask your doctor to try a different medication and see. there are so many out there and what works for one person, may not work for another. it took me 6 years to get the right medication and dosage. i daven for you that it should not take that long. my depression was caused by a number of factors but the main thing was i had a chemical imbalance in my brain so no matter how much therapy i went through, without the right meds i couldn’t get out of the depression. keep fighting, keep trying different meds, stay in therapy, and of course daven. you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hatzlacha!