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Two Yekkish stories (from my Yekkische shul):
A guy moves into the area and comes to our shul every day for a few weeks, but no-one says anything to him (or greets) him. And one Shabbos morning he’s standing outside shul after davenning and an older Yekke walks towards to him and say “Gut Shabbos”. And he’s delighted that someone has finally spoken to him and extends his hand and says “Gut Shabbos” in return. And the old Yekke says “No, not you, you fool, ze person behind you”. [BTW, I think that story actually happened, but our shul is *much* more friendly now!].
A chassidische guy comes to shul one day and asks if there’s a Mikve. And the Yekkische response is, of course, “Vy? Are you a Metzowroh?”.
And Inyonei D’Yoma: There were some categories of Yieden that didn’t serve the Eigel:
1. The Amschenovers, who said, “Moshe Rabbeinu late? No, he’s not late”.
2. Lubavitch, who said “Moshe Rabbeinu dead? No, he’s not dead.”
3. And the Bresolvers, who said, “So Moshe Rabbeinu is dead… So what?”
And Satmar, who said, “Ah, but he has a brother – Aharon”.