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avreichamshlomo, Imma613, I agree. Maybe leave comments on treife articles saying why they’re not OK. YWN’s own rules state that they don’t want to be “Loshon Hora central”, so presumably they are shogegim and education is what’s required.
From my notes on the Ramban ויקרא פ”ג ט ד”ה חלבו
Loshon of Ramban:
ו”והוצרכתי להאריך בזה, לסתום פיהם של צדוקים ימחה שמם. כי בדברי תורה נאמר ענה כסיל כאולתו”.My note:
הנה מש”כ רבינו לש’ “ימחה שמם” על הצדוקים, מקור לש’ זה בתהלים קט יג, וברש”י שם פסוק ב’ פי’ דקאי אעשו. וראיתי בשם האבני נזר ז”ל [עי שו”ת משנה הלכות ח”ו כח] שאין לומר לשון זה על ישראל, ואמר שהרי אם ימות הרי דין המשומד שאשתו חייבת ביבום שנא’ ולא ימח שמו מישראל, וכמדומני שדברים כאלה מיוחסים גם למהרי”ל דיסקין בספר השרף מבריסק.
אמנם מלש’ רבינו כאן מבואר שניתן לומר כן על ישראל אפיקורס, וע”ע רמב”ן פר’ אחרי מות טז כט שכ’ על הקראים “מחוקי שם”.
ואולי צדוקים חמירי שמא יגררו אחריהם, א”נ הכוונה על הכת של צדוקים שיכלו לא על כל צדוקי, שגם אם יעשו כולם תשובה הרי זה מחיית שם כת הצדוקים. וע’ רד”ק תהילים שם פסוק ו ומלבים פסוק א שפי’ דקאי הפרק אדואג האדומיjust wouldn’t happen in the UK
They all hate the idea of leaders, but some lead in hatred of leaders. (as in some are more equal than others)
Do you have a reason to believe that the suicide’s situation was such that he never at any stage had the ability to prevent himself from sliding downwards? Because if so then his bechira will have been then. I imagine most suicides, although possibly not able to stop themselves at the time, could have taken steps earlier to prevent themselves from ending up in that situation.
Anyway I think its obvious that the thing to do is what will get the most positive results. If you know that between you and your spouse either a Talmid Chochom /Rov is better than a counsellor, do that. If the counsellor will be better, do that. DON’T do one or the other just because you have a shitto that way. I think R Avigdor Miller’s main point is that you shouldn’t automatically go to a counsellor, first try a Rov and see what he recommends, unless there is a specific preference on your/your spouses part for a counsellor only.
R Avigdor Miller probably didn’t mean people should only ever go to their normal Rov. Firstly you have to choose a Rov who is known as being good in this area. Secondly, the Rov may well decide to refer on to a psychologist/counsellor he recommends based on his experience. I have no sofek R Avigdor Miller would have no problem with that.
@RebYidd23 +1
his shailo is nogeia about shabbos / shovuos this week, there will be times when everywhere in the world it is either shabbos or yom tov. Is the YWN site up at these times and if so then why? and if so, are posts/comments accepted?
The kasha is a to’us me’ikoro. AC doesn’t change the weather. The weather remains hot. Only inside your house is cooled.
Furthermore, the coolness inside your house is balanced by the increased heat generated by the other half of the AC (which sits outside your window). So equilibrium is restored.
@Avi-K, I think you may be confused between your personal dislikes, and things which frum Jews shouldn’t do for a halocho, hashkofo, or mussar reason. The OP asked about the latter; most of your posts relate to the former (“extremely annoying and nerve-wracking”, “found it irritating” etc).
Its a bit like someone asking is it OK to use the eruv in a certain town, and someone replies “you shouldn’t do it because I get annoyed when I see someone carrying”. I agree that if you’re near someone who you know particularly dislikes whistling that it would be good middos to stop. However that isn’t the main niddon here, but whether its OK per se
yes I think everyone understands that “gaining attention of girls” is inappropriate. Are you suggesting that it is therefore always inappropriate to whistle, is this a gezeira or lo plug something? as I’m confident yekke2 wasn’t asking about that type of whistling
@Avi-K
“whistling in public, such as while walking in the street, is improper and unbecoming of a Torah Jew”Sounds like he means whistling in a very loud attention-attracting way, like when people put their fingers in their mouth to attract the attention of someone halfway down the street. So I suppose its not tzonua, just like screaming really loud in the street.
But whistling a tune to yourself on the street at a normal volume is no different to humming a tune to yourself. Of course those who suffer from Sensory Processing Disorder would disagree as they personally don’t like it, but would struggle to find a coherent explanation of why one shouldn’t do it (as can be seen from this entire thread)
@Avi K
“I was told by one of his talmidim that Rav Gustman would yell at someone who whistled in the yeshiva.”
As in the Kuntresei Shiurim? What reason did he give? Did he literally “yell” because thats quite hard to believe. Perhaps it was someone whistling in the middle of seder?“it comes from the kinot: שְׁרִיקוֹת וּתְרוּעוֹת, לְקָלוֹן וּזְוָעוֹת בְּצֵאתִי מִירוּשָׁלָיִם. ”
Whats the connection between whistling which shows their happiness in your sorrow and the Golus, and whistling because you’re happy. Are Tru’os also ossur according to you, please let us know before Rosh Hashono“You can google “I hate whistling””
I did, and what came up seemed to suggest its a form of Sensory Processing Disorder and a condition called misophonia. (BTW you can also google “I love whistling”)Even if there would be some sort of inyan not to do this, I’ve heard stories of Rebbes who go completely over the top with this. Its like a Rebbe going ballistic because a boy started walking with his left foot instead of with his right foot.
IMHO making a big deal over something like this to a boy from someone who in their eyes represents Yiddishkeit, runs the risk of making the child think Yiddishkeit is all simply a list of their Rebbes whims
Here’s the most relevant mekor:
וידוי של רב ניסים גאון
ואת אשר טהרת טמאתי… את אשר התרת אסרתי… את אשר הקלת החמרתיCurious1000 – if your sister wanted to go out with your roommate and asked you if he was good-looking, would you not be able to say anything?
רמב״ם הלכות דעות פרק ב הל’ ו
אסור לאדם להנהיג עצמו בדברי חלקות ופיתוי. ולא יהיה אחד בפה ואחד בלב אלא תוכו כברו והענין שבלב הוא הדבר שבפה. ואסור לגנוב דעת הבריות ואפילו דעת הנכרי. כיצד לא ימכור לנכרי בשר נבילה במקום בשר שחוטה. ולא מנעל של מתה במקום מנעל של שחוטה. ולא יסרהב בחבירו שיאכל אצלו והוא יודע שאינו אוכל. ולא ירבה לו בתקרובת והוא יודע שאינו מקבל. ולא יפתח לו חביות שהוא צריך לפותחן למוכרן כדי לפתותו שבשביל כבודו פתח וכן כל כיוצא בו. ואפילו מלה אחת של פיתוי ושל גניבת דעת אסור, אלא שפת אמת ורוח נכון ולב טהור מכל עמל והוות
ולא יכלו דברו לשלום. מתוך גנותם למדנו שבחם, שלא דברו אחת בפה ואחת בלב
רש”י וישב לז דThis would seem to contradict the way R Avigdor Miller is quoted, Rashi says once they hated Yosef which was admittedly a Gnus, it was then a Shvach that they at least didn’t act falsely.
Rashi’s mekor is a medrash there (BR 84:9) which contrasts the Shvotim to Avsholom who was capable of acting differently to how he really felt (Maharzav). The Matnos Kehuna calls this geneivas daas; the Yefei Toar calls it chanufa.
Do you have a source/further information about this quote
Joseph is obviously Putin, trying as usual to sow discord and division amongst the most important sector of all: YWN readers.
Come on ziongate I also don’t agree with a lot of what Joseph writes but often its a valid point of view, why are you intolerant of this
i suggest a hat with two brims, one large and one small, to be mekayem both shitos
1. איזהו מכובד המכבד את הבריות
2. הבורח מן הכבוד הכבוד רודף אחריו
3. הרודף אחר הכבוד, הכבוד בורח ממנוTrump freed Rubashkin. He’s an honorary עמיתך
your Rov will be a better source of info than YWN forums
לפי שהם ימי עבודה והכנעה ופחד ומורא מהשם ויראה ממנו ומברח ומנוס אליו
לפי שהם ימי עבודה והכנעה ופחד ומורא מהשם ויראה ממנו ומברח ומנוס אליו
Question about the process: are you aiming to describe what meshichists believe in a way which makes it seem possible/plausible. Or are you going to also explain why they would actually decide to believe such a thing.
I.e. there are plenty of things which are plausible, but which there is no real reason to believe; such things are called speculation and generally considered a waste of time. E.g. perhaps there are aliens
So are you going to simply try to explain why it is plausible and not “op gefreckt” – or are you also going to explain why on earth a rational person would want to believe this? Because even if you can do the former I doubt you can do the latter.
thanks
To me the chiddush is that her grandson is married
call an electrician to find the source of the leak. If he identifies the panels as the problem, get back to the company with details
@CTL “no one wants to admit falling numbers”
perhaps excluding them now would in the long term prevent more members from following their example – so would prevent falling numbers@syag, I’m confused because first HIR is accused of sthg which is certainly highly problematic (rabbas), but then accused of sthg absolutely terrible (gay marriage). After the second accusation, the first one kind of pales into insignificance, its a bit like accusing a serial killer of bad table manners
Not in the parsha but am confused about what you’re accusing HIR of. You start of by saying that they have funny shitoos about women. Then you suggest they endorse gay marriage. Thats like saying you don’t like trump because he’s impolite and also because he wants to sell america to russia.
I don’t think people nowadays are so easy to buy – they value their own values and being able to live as they choose more than having another diamond ring
Looking at this topic maybe you should consider a per-topic max length as well as a per-post max length!
As far as I understand, the problem with sheitels which look like real hair is one of maris ayin, as it looks like the person isn’t covering their hair.
This may well have been true several years ago – apparently one would see a woman with such a sheitel and wonder “did they get divorced/ go off”. However nowadays even the most insulated meioh sheorim Rebetzin knows perfectly well that they are sheitels designed to look like real hair. Even if they honestly had no way of telling at all, they would still assume that it was certainly a sheitel. They wouldn’t suspect the person of going off, just of not following her own standards of sheitels, which are highly praiseworthy like all Prishus, but halocho is not mechayev them. Or they would quote psokim from 30 years ago when realistic sheitels did have a maris ayin problem.
Have any poskim said RECENTLY that realistic-looking shaitels are OSSUR (not just “in my opinion this is a loathsome”), and if so what is their rationale?
So you agree that the vast majority hold it isn’t AZ. However you wish to hypothesize that there may be an entirely new reason why its ossur miderabbonon. Your only reason for saying this is because it isn’t proven wrong from the many Rabbonim who haven’t spoken out against it. However there is no actual reason to believe this. Even in the kol korei which assurs doesn’t say this reason, and once they were anyway being mocheh they would have no reason not to mention the issur derabbonon as well to strengthen their argument as people would then be more likely to accept their position.
according to the osrim its an issur deoraysa, so they have to make a macho’oh even if they think they’ll be ignored – mutav yehu shogegim is only by derabonons AFAIK
@Joseph “Give actual names and actual quotes of poskim that disagree and then we can talk. All we have now is five Gedolei Poskim against and none on the record for.”
This argument is not very strong. Every one of the Gedolei haPoskim who hasn’t said it is ossur obviously holds it isn’t ossur, or he would have a chiyuv macho’oh and would have been mitztaref to the kol koreh above. You could perhaps argue that they hold it isn’t lechatchilo, and their wives don’t use hair sheitals (I don’t know). However many respected choshuve Rabbonim’s wives wear hair sheitals – they may not be the Gedoley haPoskim but one would expect them to at least know and keep what the Gedoley haPoskim say.
You could do as Joseph suggests… but if as you say you don’t want the risk, you could consider asking someone to help you buy a tracker of bonds. If you want extra-low risk then only government issued bonds from countries with good ratings. If you want ultra-low risk, then find a tracker which only has bonds whose maturation date is within the near future, as then you’ll only lose on any bonds from countries which go bust within that timeframe – and since its a tracker it has a large amount of bonds, so in highly unlikely event anything does happen to one countries, you’ll have plenty of eggs in the other baskets. (Just be sure that you use a platform with low charges – otherwise all the interest will go to pay the platform). Obviously the lower the risk, the worse the expected returns.
Another suggestion is to find a peer to peer website which specialises in lending for property, e.g. lendinvest. The advantage of them is that they only lend to someone who has secured the loan to the property (mortgaged their house to the loan). But check you can sell it on or there may not be enough liquidity. (Re chashash Ribbis, ask Rov if you can be someich on Rov goyim)
You’d be best advised to find a Rabbi who is the same type of religious as your wife (Orthodox, Mizrachi etc) who would be willing to advise you. An online forum is not the best place to seek answers to sensitive and highly complicated questions
I don’t understand why people get so surprised at the idea that Yidden can have the same issues which plague everyone else. Why should only goyim get addicted or have taavos etc. Just because we should strive to be perfect doesn’t mean we all are
1) Perceived shteiging and real shteiging aren’t the same thing
2) If he’s not good socially yeshiva may be uncomfortable, BUT this is a problem he should be getting to grips with it with the appropriate help, not avoiding
3) Maybe he’s the next Chazon Ish====> can’t really know without more information, suggest you speak to Mashgiach who knows bochur
Someone once told me that amongst the yeshivish oilom the general rule is that this is the attitude to getting engaged:
in England: Why not get engaged whats wrong with them?
in America: why get engaged? Whats their maalo?Clarification: שֶׁיִּהְיוּ פְּנוּיִין בַּתּוֹרָה וְחָכְמָתָהּ. וְלֹא יִהְיֶה לָהֶם נוֹגֵשׂ וּמְבַטֵּל was the relevant bit
@yytz “There are no reliable statistics about frum divorce rates from the past or the present, so we don’t know whether they are going up or down”
It should be easy to work out how divorce rates have changed in the frum kehilla. Weddings are all officiated at by a Rov, and divorces are done through a Beis Din. At least with divorces there should be clear records of how many divorces happened in any given year in any kehilla. This can then be compared to the size of that kehilla to give an indication of the prevalent divorce rate. Doing this over many years would show if there has been any change and any trends
In any normal school there is a large range of abilities in each class. Either the Rebbe can aim at the top, middle or bottom thirds of the class, leaving the others bored or lost. Or the parents can take the slack by either learning with their son themselves to keep them up to class standard, or if they can’t/won’t, by hiring a rebbe.
You can’t expect miracles of your class Rebbe. There is no way he can give a shiur for all levels. Unless more than a third to half of the boys need extra tuition, I would say this is perfectly reasonable.
Of course in a kehilla which has several schools, if your child would have needed extra help, there is always a possibility to send to a less prestigious school where the child will manage with the class. So basically you’ve got to sacrifice either time (learn with your son), or money (hire tutor), or kovod (send to non-top school).
@RebYidd “Who says the CR will go away when Moshiach comes?”
The Rambam says so.
לֹא נִתְאַוּוּ הַחֲכָמִים וְהַנְּבִיאִים יְמוֹת הַמָּשִׁיחַ. לֹא כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּשְׁלְטוּ עַל כָּל הָעוֹלָם. וְלֹא כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּרְדּוּ בָּעַכּוּ”ם. וְלֹא כְּדֵי שֶׁיְּנַשְּׂאוּ אוֹתָם הָעַמִּים. וְלֹא כְּדֵי לֶאֱכל וְלִשְׁתּוֹת וְלִשְׂמֹחַ. אֶלָּא כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיוּ פְּנוּיִין בַּתּוֹרָה וְחָכְמָתָהּ. וְלֹא יִהְיֶה לָהֶם נוֹגֵשׂ וּמְבַטֵּל. כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּזְכּוּ לְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא. כְּמוֹ שֶׁבֵּאַרְנוּ בְּהִלְכוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה
Pretty mefurash if you ask me!
See Chofetz Chaim in hakdomo where he counts the Lo Saaseis which can be involved in Loshon Hora, and counts sheker