Forum Replies Created
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Posts
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squeak:
SJS said she needs permits.
notpashut:
One should not make fun of another Yid, even if they are acting up not as a Yid should. This is directly from the Mishna BK 90b.
Layztanus is always Assur.
ames:
It depends on your upbringing.
1: whether you are OK saying good shabbos (Which is very different than hello, where it is the “Minhag HaMakom” to say Good Shabbos to everyone).
2: whether BBQ is better than a big dinner:)
SJSinNYC:
I (somewhat recently) redid my kitchen for about 10K. Granted its somewhat small (and all that used to be there was a sink & some cabinets) and I kept the stove & fridge, but it is doable (new cabinets, countertops, oven, sinks & DISHWASHER).
A couch is 399 at Bobs, Jennifer or Ikea.
I guess part of not being materialistic is knowing where to get stuff on the cheap.
Also, try looking at the ATIME website/forum, they have discussed this there as well.
squeak:
Goes back to one of our main questions in the coffeeroom:
Who knows better, the expert who knows the case and has studied the field or the Rav who does not?
Now, if the Gadol has Ruach Hakodesh helping him, the answer is obvious. But who says the specific person you ask does?
Thats why the “Chazon Ish” example is somewhat off. The Chazon Ish is someone who we can not comprehend who he was and his connection to Hashem. Similar for Rav Elyashiv.
But stam a Rov?
In your case, the Rav is knowledgable and is willing to admit he doesn’t know in some cases, I agree with you 100%, as he is an “expert” as well, with the advantage of looking at the case with a Torah perspective.
The equivilent would be to ask a Kashrus expert a Choshen Mishpat question. Would he send you to a Choshen Mishpat expert (as my Rav has done for some of my questions) or try to answer based on his non-expert knowledge?
oomis1105:
The rav can tell her she is a Moredes if she does not go to him. Then it is her choice to go or not. She is assur for the man if he has intent to divorce (she does not enable the divorce, so her intent is not relevant).
Remember the “my Rabbi is a Rat” case? Its a similar issue on the Halachic side. She had a choice, but there are consequences from that choice.
(not to say its a good thing, but we are discussing from a strictly halachic standpoint)
areivimzehlazeh:
Thank you.
areivimzehlazeh:
Huh? Was it the “everyone should learn mussar” post?
areivimzehlazeh:
Teshuva is always a good idea 🙂
moish01:
Their yeshiva, their rules! Don’t ask me.
Guess you could go and pretend you were not davening, and hide a siddur inside a sefer!
SJSinNYC:
I don’t think they do, from a Halachic perspective. They agree wearing a tallis over the head is the same as a hat, and a baseball cap, fedora, velvet “double cover” Yarmulka and straw hat should all be the same from a halachic standpoint of double covering. (didn’t we have this discussion once already?)
I believe in Telze it was a Hakpoda of the yeshiva rules, which is another discussion (internet/school).
Have heard in Telze they said not to daven in their yeshiva without a hat.
The Goldbergs are trying to keep up with the Cohens’.
The answer? Learn MUSSAR!
yankdownunder:
“There are many sources of Kosher Cream of Tartar available, Gefen has OU hashgagcha, Star K and Frontier Herbs (KSA) are also certified Kosher. Making Play Dough at home you are showing your children that you are willing to take on a chumra to assure them that Kashrus is very important to the family.”
Now why didn’t you say that at first! Then we would not have had this whole misunderstanding!
What you said: “If Mom or Bubby serves hot soup (higher then yad soletis bo), and it spills on the table then the table could become treife because of the non kosher source of the Play Dough. Either find a source of Play Dough with a hetcher or Google for a recipe on line and make it at home.”
What you meant to say: “If you want your children to be Machmir in Kashrus and always be afraid to use non-kosher non-food items (such as hand soap, Play dough, plastic toys, etc.), find a source of Play Dough with a hetcher or Google for a recipe on line and make it at home.”
P.S. Do the Mitzva Kinder have a Hechsher? 🙂 i.e. Ein Ladavar Sof.
Have been asking for clear set of rules for a long time.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/guidelines-for-posts
ames:
Since the discussion has changed from “can” to “should”, it depends on the parent body. The rules should follow the majority of parents wishes (in an “in town” yeshiva, and/or where there are multiple choices) and if that’s what they want, then the yeshiva is just following the wishes of most of its customers.
sorry about the double post, thought mod blocked first one due to asking personal info (name of squeak’s rav).
Nothing against you squeak, its always a good idea to CYOLOR (extra o for OWN, as you point out). Bile is never a good thing 🙂
(against mod 99 rules?)
squeak:
Since you bring it up, could you please define “right wing”?
(My children only play/ed with play-dough outside, its way too messy 🙂
PS. Achilas Kelev does not depend on a dog eating it (a dog would never touch Booker’s!)
chofetzchaim:
100%! Every boy should have a Rav with whom to speak out dating issues.
As far as girls are concerned, girls either way should not go out until they are at least 21, to have some better idea of what they really want. In addition, girls could use hadracha, either the method of our bubbies (speaking to siblings, parents and grandparents, B’H) or the “modern method” of asking your sem teacher if option 1 is not available.
The pitfall of asking a Sem teacher is that she may give you a valid reason that applies in EY, but may be completely off for an American dating system. As long as your “guide” can adjust, you shold be OK.
squeak:
Since YOUR Rav is “right wing”, who is he and what does he say on the matter?
(I do not have Play-Dough in my house, I only allowed my children to play with it outside. It is way too messy 🙂
Please also define what makes someone “right wing”? Does it include Baruch Marzel and the sort?
Thanks.
If its their school, they have the right to make any rules they want. You have the right not to support their school or not send your kids.
Why is this any different than any other business?
Joseph: That is a completely different discussion. Lets just say I don’t understand why they are here at all. I would also like to understand their posts, which I feel I am “missing background” when I read them.
SJSinNYC:
I’m boring, no need to meet me.
I know this sounds strange but:
1) The Big One
2) Chuck Schwab
3) Nobody (Somebody)
The first two because I’d like to know where they are coming from (they are different then the other posters here (live in EY?)), and I respect Nobody.
Runners up are Charlie Brown (who was willing to discuss a Shmytza!), Joseph (also knows his stuff), Rabbi of Berlin (same), as the list gets longer & longer…..
squeak:
As Joseph pointed out, there is no way to enforce a taxation system on non-school parents to fund the “grant” fund (fundraising is what is done currently & does not work), and raising the money is not practical, as you agree.
The only practical method I see to to give incentives to pay full tuitiona and disincentives for non-payment. For example, PTA can have the Rebbe go to the house of full paying parents at a convinent time for them, but non-full paying have to go to school when it is convinent for the rebbe. Extra-cirricular activities (both hebrew & english) only open to full-paying parents, which allow them to cut back on after-school babysitting costs.
In short, those who are poor will be unable to pay no matter what you do, so you may as well convince those on the margins not to ask for a break.
Thank you squeak & Joseph.
concerned mother: We have created a society of handouts. We get it from the Gedolim in EY who say time and again that funding for yeshivos from the govenment is their #1 priority. Those who take in America just follow by taking both from the govenment programs (rather them than others!) and from their fellow Yidden in form of tuition Tzedakka. Who are we to argue?
squeak
Member
GAW, I don’t see what your point is. Does having a large family entitle them to discounts (which is essentially dipping into others’ pockets without them knowing)? They could apply for grants, or raise the tuition themselves. Why should others have to do this work for them (which is how it is done now)?
Yes it does, since the other options (telling them not to have children or sending them to public school) are unacceptable. Raising 50K (even using grants and collecting 24/6) or even 25K is not practical. Yes, those who pay full tuition will lose out, but what choice do we have?
The only thing I can think of is telling them to homeschool, but the quality of education will be minimal (no english studies, no Gemorah, etc.), and it will perpetuate poverty (unless the children cant get a shidduch, which is highly likely). If you have a better idea, I would love to hear it.
havesomeseichel:
There are even Jews in Jackson Hole Wyoming! (no yeshivas (or kosher food)).
Yashrus: Agree with Wolf that you have to give more details, such as where this person wants to live, prices of college tuition, and what degree they want. There are many colleges that allow night classes (meant for working students) and will not interfere with first and second seder, if you are willing to take it slow and go during the summer.
squeak:
Is $3500-$5000 for the 10-12 children B’H (35 – 50 K) really obtainable for a Kollel couple, even with collecting?
As far as an Idea, the yeshivos shold have extended hours for full paying parents for a small fee. It will promote full payment of tuition and allow teachers to be paid more (for the longer hours). Yeshivas will have a net gain due to additional full paying parents.
squeak:
The issues with consolidation is that you will then have to fire frum yidden who work in the offices, which brings its own problems and shailos that need to be asked.
qaws:
What is wrong with Joseph’s suggestion? Everyone should make additional sacrifices to assure that our communal children are not forced out on the street or CV public school due to lack of funding, as well as people having enough food, clothing, etc.
When the going gets tough, the Yidden give.
We are the best because we try to make each other better, for the greater glory of Hakodosh Baruch Hu and the wish that every Yid get eternal reward. Kol Yisroel Araivim Zeh L’Zeh. Where else do you ever see such a concept!
I would like to try ‘n’
Thanks.
agree with yashrus20, especially Hagoan Rabbi Dr. Moshe Meiselman, , but there is such a long span of time that RYB tought, it is hard to “pin down” a specific person.
Many of the American “Rabbonim” have come out of YU, and by extension, are talmidim of RYB.
gawker:
Agreed, but the internet is such a strong influence due to infinite access that it has to be controled (my rav did not say banned), possibly from the outside.
When the “The Big One”‘s of the world start making letzonas and chozek of the Acheinu Bnei Yisroel for Deciding that anyone who is not like them is a rosha, by calling us “extremists”, “Taliban”, “Yishmaelim”, “going to Gehennom”, etc. etc. we stand up proudly and say “Yes, we do still have emunas chachomim. We do not make up our own halachas based on our feelings or the latest chumrah trend, we ask our Rav.”
Sorry, couldn’t help myself, even though I try not to respond to the flamer/troll.
intellegent:
whether women should drive or not. you seemed to be saying no, and then turned around and clarified. If you were refering to something else, as we agree, you were not clear, and I apologize.
I think the quote is refering to free time avalible (more now) as opposed to “Kol Kavod” being due to “the times” vs. derech bas yisroel. “Kol Kavod” is a Hanhaga that does not change with the times. What is considered “respectful” (and a husband MUST be respectful to his wife) does change with the person (as per expectations).
Reminds me of what someone else posted a while back (don’t remember who):
“The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.”
gawker:
Actually, the Rambam in Hilchos Dayos perek vav says you must leave (or hunker down and stay in) if you will be influenced by the outside world to do evil.
Still not sure of your point.
1: Know Choshen Mishpat cold.
2: Whenever ther is an issue, ask a rav.
Not sure what your point is, could you please elaborate?
intellegent:
You were not clear before (seemed you said the opposite), but thank you for clarifying.
I agree 100% that Jewish women in prior generations were treated with respect (which is the torah way)(and much better than the other women btw), and should be treated with respect today as well. If they wish to drive, why not? (assuming their rav has not stated it is “assur”, of course).
Postscript: “Kol Kavod” is a “Hanhaga”, not an “Issur”.
intellegent:
That is not to say they should be in the street/Shuk! That falls under “Kol Kavod”. Driving is a personal thing with no interaction.
If you are from EY, as we have seen (in the news with the bochrim kicked out of yeshiva) the Gedolim there don’t allow men to drive, so there it is some other sort of svorah.
As before:
I am Moche for the Kavod of Oomis’ Rav, who is a Talmid Chacham and a Yarei Shomayim.
PS. Thank you mod either way.
intellegent:
Of course if your Rav asks you not to drive, Kol Hakavod.
Personally, I dont understand the minhag issue. How could someone have a minhag for their wife not to drive? (unless it was not to have a woman as a Baal Agalah, which is irrelevent to driving a car) 🙂
intellegent:
And women driving is an example.
Mod: I meant all references (Zalmans & Oomis). If you leave theirs, please leave mine as well.
Sure, why not?
Also you can (and seem to) give mods mod privliges to some topics or posters but not others.
EDITED at the request of the original poster
Zalman (if you will respond):
You are not new here, so you probably already have an answer to my question:
How do you reconcile “Kol Kavod Bas Melech” with Kollel wives working?
Also, do you have electricity? a Fridge? Internet? You are already not “living in the ways of our holy zeidas and bubbes, as they have since Matan Sinai”. You sound like you want the Jews to be Amish following Halacha, not Jews (Who invented “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”).
Lastly, with your shittos, what are you doing on the internet? Did you ask your Rav if you could be in the coffeeroom?
Get back to me after you ask.
moish01:
Not to sound like the “right wingers” here, but your yediyos and Ahava of Hashem are lacking if you would not choose in an instant to become a Yid if you were not one. One who understands why we are here and what it means to be a Jew jump at the chance to fulfill the purpose of the world and follow the one we love.
I agree that I may want to not be a yid for a couple of days just to try it out, but thats just my Yetzer Hara talking.
NossonD: Welcome. Your vort gives me chizuck.
Anon:
My understanding is that it depends on the type.
As always, ask your Rav.
Zalman: No-one is saying BC is ideal, it takes a rav to decide that it is the least worse thing.
mod: can you sticky this? (sorry if a double post)