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Yossi G. I am new to this blog and I wasn’t here last week. Sufice it to say, that there are many many Charedi communities in America where people are not as stressed as you make one believe. Stress is found where one does not desire to do that which is expected from him by the society. Expensive lifestyles as you call it, don’t exist everywhere, huge tuitions are discounted, not everyone sits in Kollel, Daf Yomi is not regimented. Stop burying YOUR head in the sand and check outside your daled amos… there’s a wonderful world out there, drug/alcohol use is not the answer and it doesn’t change the reality. Stop making excuses.
I know it’s not the popular view, but the idea that ‘there is no reason a person should have his cell phone on in shul’ is so wrong! Who is the one that decided that cell phones are more bothersome than having children run around in shul??? A newlywed, who’s wife is pregnant and in labor, is he an exception? A Rabbi who needs to be available to answer sheilos, is he an exception? A mashgiach who must be available for kashrus reasons… is he an exception? I can find many many exceptions… I still feel that those exceptional people should put their phones on viabrate mode, but I am firmly against the posting of ‘no cell phones allowed’ on shuls, and I feel it is against halacha. I know many Rabbanim who have cell phones in shul and many shuls that have hard wired phones inside the Bais HaMedrash for people to use… how can it be prohibited? Answer is… it’s not.
A charedi is simply someone who is or wants to have the attitude of a Yorey Shomayim even though he/she has shortcomings in this department. It is a state of atitude, not of accomplishment or dress. The cab driver who barely can read lashon hakodesh, BUT IS TRYING, and he may not even be shomer shabbos YET, but is making strides toward that end; the Yeshiva Bochur who learns g’mara and not much else, who believes that in this way he is doing what Hashem expects of him, is also a yarei shamayim and charedi. The person who doesn’t decide for himself what he should be doing, but follows prescribed ideology from the G’dolim is charedi. It’s all attitude, my friends!!