Gadolhadorah

“Why do you suppose that it might enhance the Shalom Bayis to use the traditional Mrs. Husband rather than her own name?”

For the same reason that in some families, the wife uses a hyphenated surname, or the husband is comfortable with the couple being listed separately as Ms. XYZ along with his listing as Mr. ABC on invitations, shul announcements, etc. In some cases, in a second marriage with children, a woman remarrying may want to keep the same surname she went by in a prior marriage or revert to her maiden name or whatever. The point is simply that people come into marriages with very different circumstances and different issues of importance to them and particularly on matters that are not strictly dictated by Halacha, they may be able to find compromises on lesser matters they allow both to come away feeling respected. If the format of the surname is such a big issue to the husband or wife, he/she may decide its an indicator of even bigger conflicts in the future and that maybe they are not well matched.

As several others have noted, its entirely up to the woman as to how she wishes to be referenced since its NOT an inyan of halacha. Many frum young women who continue their professional careers after a chasanah will continue to go keep their own names for work but use their husband’s name in certain matters (e.g. wedding invitations, birth announcements etc.) for reasons of shalom bayis or to avoid offending their machatonim. Whatever works is fine.

Sima: We are starting a separate thread similar to the nightly D’var Torah Thread entitled: “Daily Musar for Joey” where CR participants can offer their thoughts as to how our resident baal musar can improve his own daily life in matters of gashmius, ruchniyus and trolling skills.

Funnybone: If indeed you are looking to combine your outdoor adventure with your chavrusha but do so w/o compromising any of the edicts of the CR poskim, why not consider hiking the perimeter of the all the eruvim in BP and Willy, pitch your tents across the street from the Chabad shul in Park Slope in beautiful Prospect Park and use the older broken shetenders form nearby shuls for your campfire. You will be in close proximity to davening, mikvah, markets with good chaddieshe hashgacha etc. And for any bird afficiiandos in your group, there also have been unconfirmed sightings of the Joeybird in the trees in the park nearby. It can be readily identified with its bland plumage, hanging upside on a tree limb and repeated chirpings of “gevalt, gevalt, gevalt”!!

The stupidity of trying to correlate hate attacks by Blue/Red political leanings is obvious. Florida and Nevada are borderline “red” states and have had several of the worst terrorist attacks in modern history. Many solid Red southern States have been the sites of the worst hate crimes. BUT, these were hate crimes not directed at yidden…they weren’t anti-Semitic so those deaths aren’t relevant to the your absurd “red/blue” distinction regarding anti-Semitic attacks??

Chazal bring down that the “payment’ to the Rav for negotiation and execution of the transactional documents to effectuate mechiras chometz with a goy should be consistent with what one would pay to any other professional for the services provided. Most good contract and transactional lawyer charge at least $500-$700 hour so that should be a good starting point. There is also a school of thought that the charge should be a fixed percentage of the value of the chometz being sold (sort of like the real estate broker’s commission on a property sale).

Whatever is left in the frig that is not chometz gamur and is not matzoh or something special for the seder….

“Instead, the event was canceled at the last minute after a small group of people persuaded the Roshei Yeshiva that this event – for Bochrim only – must be stopped at all cost….”

This implies that the event might was cancelled because it was for “Bhochrim Only” . So did the rabbonim who were ready to issue the kol koreh want it to be open for girls as well?? I very much doubt it, even if there had been separate seating. So what was their real objection?

Where can you buy mehadrim eggs from chickens with a good chassideshe hashgacha?? Most eggs come in a cardboard carton with no plumba so its hard to tell.

The City of Baltimore is not somewhere a frum family would want to live but there are several suburban areas (Owings Mills, Pikesville etc) which are safe and in close proximity to a wide range of schools and shuls for just about every hashkafah From the MO Beth Tefillah complex (one of the largest day schools on the East Coast to Neir Tamid, to a number of chassidish schools and bies yaakoves, you can find a facility to match your needs. Home prices are substantially below NYC area prices. Also consider the Silver Spring/Potomac areas of suburban Washington D.C. which also has a large frum population although not of the scale in Baltimore but the area is more upscale and generally a safer environment with greater employment options than Baltimore.

Encourage young women to apply for membership in the Kiddush club. After throwing back one or two “L’chaims “, minor issues as to looks, hashkafah, etc. will tend to fade into the background and they can focus on important stuff. Otherwise, forego all the chumrahs we seek to impose on the natural and normal process of people meeting, conversing, deciding themselves whether they want to schedule a follow up “date” etc. We have created such an absurd overlay of rigid matchup protocols, needless intermediaries (aka shadchanim) and perceived pressures (aka “shidduch crisis”) that its amazing we are getting some many successful chassanahs

Ther are many foods with OU hashgacha where individuals associated with the upstream ownership of the brand has either espoused or supported racist views, in some cases with anti-semitic overtones. The OU cannot and should not be a political thought police. They should agressively monitor compliance with kashruth rules. I some cases, where the hashgacha extends to a public facility or restaurant where they are providing onsite hashgacha, they are acting appropriately when they monitor activities at that location that are contrary to halacha (e.g. the warning to the simcha hall about the kallah drumming with the band). However, they should not be in the busines of censoring the views of uptream owners whih have no nexus with their food products. Otherwise, can you sponsor a “kosher pesach cruise” on a cruise line that the week before had chartered the boat for a “gay cruise”??

Some are still looking in all the wrong places and taking a lot of the mesorah too literally. And no, there is no concensus on how we will know and when we will know Moishiach has either arrived or is on his way. You can assume its not a bunch of guys waving yellow flags on Eastern Parkway or the 880 AM traffic reporter breaking in to the news with an alert about a really ehrliche looking yid wearin a long-white kittel bloking traffic on the Belt Parkwayriding a white donkey and heading to JFK for a flight to EY. NOr will you read about in a push message from YWN.
There is a regular weekly show motzi shabbos called “Moishiach in the Air” that will give you a certain spin on moishiach’s arrival. There are equal numbers of Litvish views on the inyan of moishiach, none of which can be said to be the “prevailing” or “concensus” view.

“[Lakewood has been] ruined sadly with the fanciest restaurants and exquisite clothing stores that don’t belong in a Torah community devoted to Hashem and Torah”

Sammy….you are so right. Any yungerleit shteiging at BMG should not C’V be tempted away from his shtender by a restaurant serving anything other than boiled chicken, starchy kugel and a special Thursday night chulent buffet with grey “mystery meats”, all washed down with the finest Concord Malaga wines. Nor should they have to deal with temptations from clothing stores selling well-fitted suits that don’t look like oversized PJs,, shirts in any color other than White and a stylish Borselino. Yes, Lakewood should look like a feel like a shteitel from the 19th century alte heim.

P.S. as to Cleveland, were you aware that it were just named to the 5 top new “foodie” destinations by the James Beard foundation and that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is only a 7 minute uber ride from Telse.

Joseph’s navius is about as good as his halachic skills. There is no chapter fling planned this week, next week or anytime in the near term. Nor have they retained bankruptcy counsel beyond their existing restructuring advisors. In fact, Walgren’s recently announced they were buying 70 pharmacies from Shopco as part of the latter’s bankruptcy reorg. With some, ad shelo yadah should be simplified to “shelo yadah” on an ongoing basis.

For the most “shidduch crisis” threads started in Adar Rishon by CR posters who forgot that Purim comes in Adar Sheini????

There is no more consensus among the Gadolim than there is among security analysts, sociologists and geopolitical “experts” regarding the implications of growing anti-semitism. I heard an interesting theory recently that even if there is no real increase, the internet age, instant messaging, pervasive news coverage etc. allows even small incidents and events to be magnified way beyond what would have been the case 50 years ago. Having said that, moving to EY will sadly not resolve your stress level if you are seeking a totally secure environment free from the political circus we are living with here in the golden medinah.

Neville…thanks for the musar…I will remember next fall when it comes to lecturing about the public health, sanitation and tzar ba’lei chayim evils of shlugging kaporos with live chickens..

Its sad each year to read the same mindless posts regarding drinking on Purim and even total inebriation is a big mitzvah…..coming from the resident apikores, you can forego the usual admonitions as to why I am here on a “Yeshivish” website posting such kefirah. Alas, those who would encourage modest drinking within careful limits seem to fade into the woodwork and allow those who would encourage “getting completely drunk” to write off any horrific auto/pedestrian deaths or injuries resulting from DWI or WWI (walking while intoxicated) as collateral damage to the obligation to drink to excess.

Rebbitzen: If Briskboyz is the subject of this thread and posted above that he just became aware of this CR thread you started but would consult with his rebbe about his OWN SITUATION, do you consult with him before updating all of us on how the first date went. I suspect by now every bochur in Lakewood knows who he is, where they went for their first date and whether they’ve discussed the important stuff in life such as gebrokts, yekeshe hashgacha and testing Uggs for shatens. Seems a bit weird to have both you and the subject of your thread posting updates contemporaneously. The fact that he his here in the CR posting on the internet suggests he has the flexibility to find a common ground with this “moderneshe” young lady.

Sounds like a great catch for him as long as they move to a “neutral” place like Rockaways or Staten Island and if she is willing to “adopt” to the Lakewood model when she visits the in-laws. Yes, there have been some great “mixed-marriages” in history but they require a lot of effort on the part of both parties and they must really have a lot of love and respect for one another.

Chulent, herring and kugel in any form should be assured for MM. Fresh and dried fruits, nuts, cookies made from whole grains and dried fish jerky are the gifts de jour this year.
Chag sameach and a freilehce Purim.

“I would require that all rebbeim/moros send their own children to the schools they teach in…”

Really?? Not sure if you are serious but if so, makes zero sense. First, many very talented rabbonim and women in chinuch are still single or have recently married but for their own reasons have deferred having children. To the extent they have kids, they may not be of school age, have special learning needs, or may not be well-suited for the school that their parents are considering working at. The school has no business telling their professional staff where to send their kids.
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First, it would be a big mistake to give out the home address of any school personnel (even though many can be found on the internet). It would make sense to make arrangements to either give at the school or for the school to deliver to the teachers.

Second, the BEST mishloach manos for most Yeshiva personnel would be for parents to pay tuition in full and on -time so the yeshiva in turn, can pay a living wage.

A frog was on once a tadpole and ultimately will be a prince (or princess for lady frogs). Chazal bring down that reptilian royalty is immune to all the various types of data theft, hacking, and privacy concerns that affect poishete yidden.

You can cut expenses up to a point and then the only option may be to close the doors….its not that complicated. If you can’t pay a living/market competitive wage to your faculty and staff, than probably unlikely you should be in business since your customers (aka parents of Talmidim) are unable or unwilling to pay your prices for the services (aka torah education) you are providing. I wish there was some silver bullet to fix the problem, but sadly, as most above posters have noted, there is no easy fix absent “free money” from shamayim (aka the government).