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Unless you have your head buried in the sand (or elsewhere), it obvious that in the real world there exists a number of older single individuals whose marital status is by choice. The number is probably small, but Huju’s comment acknowledges a reality so calling it “lashon horah” is to deliberately hide from that reality, even though some would consider it contrary to daas torah.
“my date”, “my friend”, or even the name of the young woman…..As a last resort, perhaps if you encounter an acquaintance while with your date, just respond that, “on the advice of Reb Yosef, the resident YWN troll, I am unable to acknowledge that the person you believe you see with me even exists, much less verbalize her name or possible current or future relationship with me”.
In simple terms, just treat your possible Beschert as she was a 6ft white rabbit named “Harvey” as per the award-winning 1950 film.The guy who is 50 and still looking for a supermodel (age 35 or less) will certainly have his cheshbonos on why anything else will be settling. “And I just spoke to my rosh yeshiva, and he told me I dont have to settle”.
I’d be more worried about the Rosh Yeshiva who is advising a single 50 YO “Yungerleit” to wait for his “supermodel beschert” and not “settle” for any מיאוסקייט. Must be a very progressive yeshiva
“In unzerer Yeshivish circlesm it is pahsnisht to be dating anyone publicly until the engagement is announced…. Following that geder, there will not be any “how other people refer to us” scenarios…”
Huh?? if a young man and woman are meeting for a drink in a hotel lobby, walking in the park, etc. whether pursuant to a shadchan or having met through friends, and they run into an acquaintance, I think the OP is asking a logical question of how they should introduce the other.
How about “my friend XXX” with no need to add any adjectives or descriptors or status report on what may or not be a longer term relationship.You can keep “litigating” the facts of this case BUT the reality is that in today’s world such behavior incurs a considerable risk of being thrown in jail in the near term and longer term reputational defamation since the media will have moved on and typically don’t look back to update a report. If you are a “tzadik gamur”, have lots of time on your hands and don’t mind taxpayer funded housing, than insist on the righteousness of your ways and don’t bother thinking about how they may be misinterpreted.
Everyone is entitled to set their own priorities in allocating whatever funds they have available for charitable giving. For many, addressing the critical needs of those yidden lacking funds for housing, health care and food for their families would take priority over helping other yidden finance a wedding, including airfare to fly over the mishpacha.
To the extent you have to make any reference at all, just say “my friend”. In most cases the gender should be obvious to anyone you encounter so no need for “BOYfriend” or “Girlfriend”.
Is this another way of starting a new thread on the Shidduch Crisis from the other side of the mechitzah??
5T Resident: Hypocrisy knows no bounds. You now have a Toevah congressman from LI who has lied about EVERYTHING including his mother having escaped from the Nazis, etc. and the Republican House leadership shrugs their shoulders and claims they are powerless to do anything because they need a reliable Republican vote in a closely divided chamber.
AVD: Cafe Zamir & Sushi Kosher Restaurant in Budapest…a few blocks from the InterContinental by the Danube River.
P.S. Good option if you’ve just had your dental implants done and are on a soft food diet for a few days.I’m no longer surprised by the mindless postings that get hung up on the rhetoric of “the squad” but seemingly are ignorant or choose to ignore the anti-semitic rhetoric, memes and tropes of right wing, Trump acolytes. And you wonder why on one take you seriously. While most of us hold Omar and the few others like her in contempt, they were duly elected (the standard Republican excuse for degrading themselves and the House by seating George Santos.
Like Ungarishe Sushi
“There is only 216 and a half years until the latest time for Moshiach to come and the end of the world as we know it….
Azoy. There is this tall guy with a beard who has been walking back and forth in front of our firm’s NYC office in Hudson Yards holding a big sign saying that the “world is ending” and its time to “return to G-d”. He is affectionately known as “Doomsday Don” and always has a smile and positive greeting. When I checked on my last trip to NYC several weeks ago, his target date was roughly 2028 (depending on certain “astrophysical cycles” that were well beyond my rocket science credentials). Perhaps your guys can consult with him and come up with a consensus date for your nevius. In the interim,many of us will avoid throwing trash out of our 53rd floor windows (that don’t open) on your thesis that none of this “environmental green stuff” matters given the imminent arrival of moishiach.
So EY should shut down its generation on shabbos and import power from Egypt, Syria, Lebanon and Jordan. Or better, transfer control of the Israel Electric Authority to the Palestinian Authority. Or in an optimal situation, shut down the entire electric grid for Shabbos and lets all schvitz in shul like the good ole days in the Alte Heim.
Please don’t attribute these mindless ideas to the “hailege Chazon Ish” or any other chashuvah rav while they were still in possession of their senses.“Maybe you should go drink water from the East River. The Torah doesn’t say it’s contaminated, so go for it
The best location is the pier by the tennis courts just north of the Williamsburg Bridge….slight mineral taste with citrus overtones. B’Taovon
Want to reduce the cost of a wedding? Walk through shules and ask strangers to pay for it??
I cannot imagine anyone walking from shul to shul begging for money to pay for his son’s/daughter’s chassanah. Perhaps some yidden have no pride and would rather degrade themselves than consider telling their kids to get by with a simple seudas mitzvah after kiddushin or defer the wedding until they can afford to help pay expensive big simcha they aspire to.
“Do we have here posts from the icebergs”
AAQ: Go early in the summer season (November) while the Penguins are still “white” (no sliding in the mud from the melting ice) and book your trip on one of the newer class of small “icebreaker” cruise ships can actually “beach themselves” on the hard ice. That allows you to literally walk off the ship directly versus constantly climbing in and out of the small zodiacs to get to the shoreline and then having to wade the last several feet in really cold water. Without debating “climate change”, there really is an easily visible recession of the glaciers. Perhaps its just a short-term phenomena and a decade from now they will be expanding outward again but I’ll probably not be there to observe.
So we bring down from R Yosef’s tshuvah that if you are driving on the NJT and spot a car whose license plates match those on an Amber Alert related to an alleged child abduction, you should FIRST call 911 and inquire whether the suspected abductor is Jewish before reporting the target vehicle’s location. Otherwise, you might inadvertently be “Massering a Yid”.
Dr. P; Not sure who or what your were responding to but you make some good points. However, IF you were responding to my narrow point on the cost-effectiveness of existing government Medicare/Medicaid covering routine dental treatment in the same way they cover routine medical expenses, let me try to oversimplify the point.
If the government can spend $100 today to avoid spending several thousand dollars 5 or 10 years in the future (depending on your assumed discount rate), it should do so. Likewise, our private insurance should make the same actuarial calculations, although the cohorts may not be as easily modeled as in the case of Medicare/Medicaid.“To sum, staying away from questionable behavior that might cause a problem is an etzah tova. If you don’t want to walk between two nashim tzadkiyos, just get out a sefer and wait until they finish the conversation. At worse, you’ll do an extra siyum.”
Alternatively, download the YWN mobile App and share your thoughts on complex questions of halacha to those in the CR breathlessly waiting for your eitzah.
“You can lower cost per year by marrying younger…”
The chassan/kalah will have to use Uber to get home from the simcha hall since they will be too young to drive. In most cases, they will be too young to earn a parnassah so the parents will be spending more supporting them. Younger doesn’t mean cheaper.There are still active (dues paying) members of the Flat Earth Society and I’m sure the Mods would not object to their posting their “own theories” as to the risks of “falling off the edge”. However, having returned last month from a fairly arduous trip to Antarctica (albeit still some distance from the South Pole) I did observe an accelerated rate of glacial melt and calving (relative to air photos of the identical glacial tracts going back 25 years) and more importantly, we did NOT “fall off the edge” of the planet after leaving the tip of Argentina and traversing the Magellan Straits.
At this point, I think the repeated references to this clueless guy as a “Tzadik” is a deliberate troll. As just about everyone except R’ Yosef has acknowledged, he likely did not have any perverted motives, nor is he even remotely suspect for child abuse, but someone needs to take him and any OTHER such “Tzadikim” aside and give them supplemental instruction on basic common sense before they end up in serious trouble in a secular court that could care less about his beliefs regarding halacha versus hanhagah tovah.
BTW, so called “Tzadikim” may well be shomrei torah umitzvos, big malamdim, have wonderful midos,etc. etc. but still on occasion exercise poor judgment. Perhaps a bit overdone by calling this guy the Tzaddik from Flatbush over and over. Next thing you know he will be anointed as a Gadol Hador and nominated as an ex officio member of the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah and have a brass plaque with his name on the new mechitah in the entry hall of the Flatbush Shul
“asking a teen (who happily agreed) to walk a few feet through a crowded hallway with him is absolutely, positively, nothing at all wrong with whatsoever…
Perhaps true from the perspective of this “Tzadik” but clearly raised a lot of questions with others, including his mom. Tzadikim are free to make these kind of decisions but they should also be prepared for the consequences if others don’t agree. The world we live in today is very different from the world where a lot of us grew up and even in the frum velt, there are new norms and guardrails which you violate at your own peril. Enough said.
To avoid all this craziness, why wouldn’t the obvious solution be to politely request the women to move to one side so this “Tzadik” could comfortably exit the shul? Clearly, putting a mechitza is a good solution in a shul, but most publicly accessed commercial facilities, such as a grocery market, are NOT going to put mechitzas by the door.
“WANTED: A sober, respectable, reliable, steady, individual of the Hebrew faith with the proper weltanschauung to moderate a highly active and popular digital forum in cyberspace..”
You neglected to note that potential applicants must not be prone to unusually high levels of
schadenfreude when reviewing and censoring new posts affirming the continuing decline of a former occupant of the oval office and expressions of political tshuvah with respect to disclaiming any further support for him or his racist and xenophobic agenda.“However there is no halachic requirement to spend a massive amount of money getting married…”
As we have discussed here under multiple threads, there is no chiyuv to spend massive amounts nor is there any prohibition on such spending either IF the baalei simcha can afford it and also have contributed what they perceive as reasonable amounts to tzadakah. One can argue that the same issur should apply to the massive spending we routinely see here on the YWN news pages when the child or grandchild of some chashuvah rav is bar mitzvah or married. A poishte yid is entitled to the same benefit of the doubt. Specifically, if a yid is matzliach and fortunate to have accumulated some wealth, she is free to spend it on her son’s/daughter’s wedding and there is NO fixed percentage in terms of what a yid MUST allocate to tzadakah versus discretionary spending.” the mother is 100% at fault here, take 5 minutes to find out what’s happened before ruining someone’s life forever…”
As others have said, the Mother acted normally and responsibly. This guy’s intent may have been “pure” but his actions were both unwise, and borderline illegal. If his reputation suffers, so be it. Next time he will act responsibly. Again, he doesn’t have an entitlement to grab someone’s hand w/o consent outside of a physical risk situation. There was NO risk here, no urgency just his personal convenience.
Reb Yosef should know. He apparently DID improvidently provide a diamond ring to his first kallah but did not feel the imperative for Nos. 2 and 3 who simply kvelled in the realization that their future lives would be enriched and g’benched by being married to YWN’s troll-in-chief and globally acclaimed nuclear physicist and Trump afficianado. Diamonds are definitely not a girl’s best friend when you can have R’ Yosef instead.
Even if the young man was a “teenager” an adult still is not empowered to grab the hand and steer him towards the door so he can avoid what he perceives to be a halachic problem. Stop and spend 15 seconds explaining your “problem” to the bochur and get his OK. Otherwise, just stand and wait until the women move on or ask them to move to one side.
In general you don’t have an entitlement to invade anyone’s physical space absent some issue of sakanas nefesh. Same for some guys who “demand” to be re-seated on flights to avoid sitting between two women. Most of the time if you make the request to a flight attendant, and its not the last minute, they will make an effort to find “volunteers”. If not, just sit down wherever you are assigned and don’t make a fuss. Some airlines will allow you to purchase the seat next to you if you want a “guarantee” of an empty seat.“What is your opinion regarding children joining a dancing circle at a wedding or Simchas Torah? Must all the men immediately leave the circle lest they face arrest??'”
No. If the parents of a child allow them to join the dancing, than they are providing consent for the child to be touched by others in the circle. In the other instance, there was no expectation by the mother than some guy would start shlepping her child towards the door. Whatever his motivation, he exercised very poor judgement.
Zushy: Hard to tell if you are serious. Have you ever heard of evaporation.
More water evaporates from the oceans each year than falls upon them as rain.“Everyone knows that the democrats want to control everything..”
Yup. Everything, including the modalities of people’s intimate relationships, decisions on terminating a pregnancy, etc.“Lets all remember this and start to turn directly to Hashem whenever we need anything in our lives including success in upcoming presidential elections…”
Umein. So we should all daven that the Ebeshter arrange for the Donald to move on to his chelek of olam habah b’maharah b’yamenu (but no later than the February 12, 2023 New Hampshire primary).As others have noted, dental problems can quickly morph into major medical and social problems such that a relatively small government “investment” underwriting dental health would save many more dollars in “covered” medical expenses (especially for the elderly). There are probably others here in the CR who can speak to the real world issues of older folks who cannot afford the tens of thousands of dollars needed for partial or full mouth implants and “replacement” teeth and forego social interactions, have difficulty with good diet. etc.
He won’t run…he will be too busy playing golf on the senior tour.
As you may have heard (or read on Truth Social) the Donald declared himself the winner of the Senior Championship held last weekend at the Trump International Golf Club in West Palm. Even more amazing, he NEVER played in the first day 18 hole round of the 36 hole tournament. Tournament participants arrived for second day were both surprised and totally confused to see Trump’s name on the scoreboard with a five-point lead. Apparently, Trump played a round on the course by himself earlier in the week and then directed the tournament officials (also his employees) to count that round AS IF he had played in the tournament. Needless to say, he also claimed he had an incredibly great round since his low (imagined) score was enough to offset the higher score for the second round which he played. Apparently, no one was willing to file a formal complaint with the Golf Club management.Quayboard: Years ago, when I wanted to troll some of the more rabid “climate deniers” I would accuse them of being over the big Mitzvah of “Tikun Olam” for which they would lose their chelek of Olam Haboh (assuming the Olam Hazeh lasted that long). Invariably, aside from the cries of Kefirah and demands for a source in torah for this Big Mitzvah (No. 614) there was an underlying theme that even if specific actions (e.g. recycling) improved the environment and made economic sense, adopting such practices was either minhag hagoyim or simply encouraged more “extreme” demands from environmentalists (e.g. not paving over your front lawn to park 2 minivans or not trashing local parks during chol hamoed outings). Such demands were clearly anti-Semitic rants from self-hating yidden .
The good news is that over the past decade there has been considerable progress in how the frum tzibur has adopted common sense environmental practices while pushing back against those who use “environment” as an excuse to deny yidden opportunities to expand their communities or attack our religious practices.Zushy: Really good ideas. Several of these projects (some in slightly different configuration) have been included in the long-term capital budget for years, but have been deferred over and over for lack of funding and then Covid. When a project is finally given the NIS and authorization to proceed, they then have to navigate multiple obstacles from (i) nutcases on the right claiming the construction will traverse through an area with kevorim (even though the rabbonim and secular experts have concluded the opposite) and the nutcases from the left claiming that the surviving population of some nearly extinct bug is living in the path of the new road.
The sheer stupidity of assuming that 6 million yidden in EY would be better off living under a Palestinian or some other Arab overnment is both laughable and depressing. ANY governing authority would need to tax residents to raise the revenues needed for providing basic public services. I doubt R’ Chaim had really thought through how to maintain basic infrastructure and public services absent some form of taxation. Perhaps he was assuming that imposing “user fees” instead of calling the revenues “taxes” was somehow a way of circumventing the halachic concerns but that obviously would be a highly regressive form of taxation.
“We have been warned to not waste even a small amount of money…”
We also have been warned against wasting time responding to these silly posts quoting some Rav or Sefer. What is your point. Are you expecting some contrarian argument that it is even worse to waste large amounts of money or a Clintonesque debate over what the meaning of “waste is. i
R’ Yosef: In some jurisdictions, you would be drowning in your own trash since the trash and recycling trucks would refuse to empty that one beloved garbage can you are so proud of. Some of the local rules are crazy but there is no logical reason not to separate out waste that can be kept out of scarce landfill space and profitably recycled or used to generate steam and/or electricity in CHP plants.
Reb Yosef: How strange. I also served on a jury with a sommelier years ago.
If the Ebeshter wanted Israelis to be subject exclusively to a judical system Talmidei Chachimim Dayanim sitting on a bona fide Beis Din acting in the capacity of a Din Torah, he would have sent Moishiach by now. Until then, Reb Aryeh is a convicted felon removed from office by a PM indicted for his own felonies.
While its never happened to my knowledge in any yiddeshe mosdoa, the events over the weekend in California show that in some cases,, an attack by some deranged individual can originate from what might be referenced as אונדזער מענטשן
“Trump does not have any Grade A attorneys anymore…”
Well sort of. Trump actually hired Chris Kise, Florida’s former SG and a well respected litigator to represent him in the criminal investigation related to the FBI search of Mar-a-Lago but I am skeptical someone of Kise’s stature would want to take on the appellate work related to this clown-show.
“Also, gadol, you’re the one saying that a given practice is ok; i offered a disproof from the chofetz chaim, mesilas yeshorim, etc…and your answer is that it’s for them to say, and not me…”
Too many gadolim in the CR….
Thats sort of like the question of “who is a bigger gadol”?
Really depends on the metric you are using in “gadlus”. Obviously MBD is the “bigger” name (commercially) has more recordings, has appeared at more “big” events, etc. Yossi has probably a more diverse and complex set of compositions. Again, it really depends on how you measure.
Akuperma raises some good points but for the fact that Trump’s inevitable appeal will be heard by the 11th circuit. While generally one of the most conservative circuits, they have not always been friendly to Trump and also have sustained sanctions imposed by the district courts for frivolous lawsuits. Trump has long complained about the burdens of proving defamation in the American court system (as compared to the UK) but he himself has been totally disparaging of the defamation lawsuit brought against him by an alleged rape victim. That case is especially bizarre because the Garland DOJ is SUPPORTING Trump’s effort to dismiss the case baed on the theory that his disparaging (aka defamatory) comments about the plaintiff were made in the course of his “official duties” as President.
How could there be an echo in a black hole?
We learn from Chazal that if a tree falls in a forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it really make a sound? Likewise, it can be brought down that if a CR message is deleted by the mods before it is posted, was there ever really an OP??