Gadolhadorah

Well, if you want to be creative, you can call breakfast a “late Shabbos dinner” and daven Vasikin. I think in Megilla, 23(a) it ways that we are supposed to come to Shul “early” on Shabbos and one of the maforshim (Rashi?) adds that this means that one should come early enough to daven Vasikin.

All these comments about the volumetric levels of asher yatzar etc. presume the individual has a modicum of common sense and situational awareness such that one is not disruptive of others or otherwise draw attention to himself unnecessarily. If you are on an airplane, it would be grossly inappropriate to return to one’s seat from the lav and then perform a very loud rendition of asher yatzar so that all your fellow passengers know you have successfully performed some bodily functions. Likewise, in a nice restaurant, you wouldn’t disrupt the dining of others nearby by being unnecessarily loud in a baracha or birchas ha’mazon (whereas in a Pizza shop you might not be so worried about adding to the already high decibel level).

In general, Americans don’t like foreign leaders criticizing our own leaders, whatever their own political preferences. I recall how Obama was trashed by Trump for disparaging Lefarge and the Brexit leadership before the vote. I suspect Netanyahu did himself no favors today with American public opinion by his backhanded comments about Obama. Many recall that Obama used “Bush’s recession” to excuse the dismal performance of our economy for the 4 years of his first term. We don’t need Trump using Obama as a piñata for the next 4 years to divert attention from his own non-stop and generally self-inflicted screw-ups.

There have been many movements since the industrial revolution in the past 200-250 years to push back against technology and its social, cultural and economic consequences. In other words, and to coin a phrase, ba’chol dor v’dor there are Luddites who have tried to put their finger in the dike to fend off sometimes intimidating changes in the way technology changes our day to day lives. In virtually all cases, these efforts have not succeeded. Perhaps the only exception are those religious groups, including some of our own, who have the discipline to refuse change and find ways to continue life as it was in the Alte Heim in our case. When the motivation is deeply held emunah (as in your case) rather than a vague political philosophy, there are always ways to manage. Over time, its possible that a younger generation of rabbonim may “move the goalposts” as to what is acceptable based on having a better understanding of how technology works rather than redefining Halacha. Much hatzlacha to you in wherever you come out in resolving your own individual conflicts.

Most of us manage to find a “private” place, even when in “public” to say barachos. I don’t know many frum yidden who would march out of a public bathroom at any airport or shopping mall and start shuttling back and forth with kavanah and do a loud, vocal rendition of “asher yatzar” using a nigun attributed to his rebbe. Its almost always possible, even in public, to find a corner spot or behind a column etc. to make a baracha, whatever the circumstances, without calling a lot of attention to oneself.

Just about every medical professional would advise against marrying a first cousin; yes, there are many thingks that are allowed under daas torah but that doesn’t mean you are obligated to do them. The torah allows a number of punishments including stoning for a variety of “crimes’ (putting aside whether or not we have a Sanhedrim), allows for taking multiple wives (putting aside Rav Gershhon’s thoughts on the issue), etc. etc. Just because something is allowed by either Torah or civil law doesn’t mean its a good idea in the context of modern society and norms. I’m sure Joseph may feel its a great idea (and he can find a rav to give him a heter) to marry his 15 YO first cousin but that doesn’t mean 99.9 percent of yidden today would do so.

The reality is that many frum parents show up at yeshivot with a mindset that the posted tuition is a “starting point for negotiation” and that its up to the yeshiva to figure out how to accommodate their kids within the budgets they have allocated. They view a yeshiva education as more of an entitlement (just like a public school education) than a obligation on their own parts to secure and pay for. While most frum parents of lesser economic means are greatly appreciative of the scholarships and grants they receive and allow their kids to be admitted, most schools administrators will tell you that a small handful of frum parentsroutinely take up the percentage of their time and are the loudest and most-confrontational on tuition-related issues.

There is no “appropriate” age…its whatever the young man and woman decide its right for them. As more of our young men and women realize the need to obtain the needed education and job skills to earn a parnassah its inevitable that the age of kiddushin will move into the early 20s or later. Some may want to learn and go to college part-time so it will take several years longer to graduate college and finish an advanced degree.

As noted above, you are unlikely to find many “leibidik” shachris minyanim on Shavuos…most of the potential “celebrants” are barely awake and feel fortunate they can daven with a modicum of kavanah.

To Joseph….its mamash child abuse to push them into marriage at 13-16, and probably a bad idea before 18 or 19. If you want to troll on this issue, I’m sure you’ll find other to take the bait but unless your having substantial issues of your own, please don’t suggest kiddushin for children

To Yosef: He is NOT a chossid of any particular rebbe but has historically been a good friend and supporter of the Chabad shaliach in 5T who, in turn, recruited the mashgichim to fly over with him to EY to kasher the ambassador’s residence. In fairness, Ambassador Friedman has been a great supporter of many worthy mosdos as well as some settlement groups in Yehuda and Shomron, which were noted at his confirmation hearings.

To Joseph:
So if we hold by your standards, the parents of an unmarried baas yisroel at the age of 15 should be in full scale panic, have every shadchan in willy and BP on retainer and be flying over to EY for a segulah or tefillah for a shidduch through some rav who charges top dollar but who guarantees 100 percent success …Its scary that some actually think in terms of children of 13 years (aka “adults”)are ready for marriage and making babies…no wonder there is such hysteria in the frum tzibur about a so called “shiduch crisis”

To ema2five:
Mazel tov on making it through 27 years and may you have at least 27 more….
Its unclear why there is so much focus on the possible risks of delaying marriage “C’V” to your late 20s and early 30s rather than openly discussing the real issue of pushing down the age of kiddushin to the teens and then expecting children having children to behave like adults.

This happens all the time….both should have the independent judgment and maturity to make it work; certainly more so than two teenagers being pushed into a shiduch by their families. While there is no guarantee in shiduchim at any age, there are many reasons why one or both may have deferred marriage while pursuing graduate school, professional training etc.

Every society and religious group has their own “Luddites” who have spiritual and moral concerns with innovations and new technology. While many of us disagree with the decision of the Rosh Yeshiva, I doubt this policy will result in empty seats in the beis medrash since there are more bochurim seeking admission than can possibly be accommodated. Putting aside the obvious issue that those coming out of this yeshiva will lack basic skills for a parnassah,, many of the most exciting and original thoughts in the world of torah learning are only available on the internet so they are denying their students access to daas torah from the next generation of more computer friendly talmedei chachamim.

To Winnie: Why do you say its the minhag for the wife and/or her family tsupport a full time kollel yungerman? I would assume that he would first seek support from his own family first before asking his wife’s to support them and turn to his the machatonim only if his own parents are unable to help.

After 27 years of marriage, statistics show a very small likelihood that counseling will resolve issues of the sort your describe. Nor do you need another Rav to advise you on the Halacha governing your fact situation since you seem reasonably well informed from the Rav you have previously consulted.. You and your wife are fortunate that you both sound rational, are not vindictive, have loving children and have the resources to move on with your lives as two separate individuals (and perhaps meet new partners). Give the get and begin the next chapter of your life. You are both “youngsters” and ‘by’h will have many healthy and satisfying years ahead of you. Much hatzlacha in whatever decision you make.

This historically has been a challenge for yiddeshe parents sending their children to yeshivos and beis Yaakov and it seems to be getting more difficult for parents today. Ultimately, yeshivos must function as a business enterprise and assure their financial viability to serve their respective “markets”. Yes, a yeshiva serves a defined segment of the frum tzibur based on their parents’ hashkafah etc. In some locations outside NYC, Lakewood and Monsey, there may be only a single Yeshiva serving that market, but even in those cases, that yeshiva must accommodate the needs of a diverse range of yidden, in some cases including conservative, MO, yeshivish, etc. and straddle the usual chassidish/Litvish boundaries. In each case, they must calibrate the “demand curve” for their product (aka chinuch in torah and whatever secular studies are required by local law) in terms of what parents can afford to pay for the “product” they will offer. They must also develop a business plan of sorts (formal or informal) to assure they can cover their expenses. This is not a “Field of Dreams” where you open the school and blindly assume the Ebeshter will cover your operating losses with a monthly check from Shamayim. There will always be some parents who may not be able to afford the School’s tuition and part of the School’s cost and expense analyssis must consider how much to allow for “scholarships” and how much “uncollectible” tuition to plan for. At some point, however, they must draw a hard line in the sand and say that without payment of tuition (or agreement to budget plan to pay overdue balances), a student can no longer be accommodated. To do otherwise, would risk the ability of the school to serve ALL students going forward. Its great to be able to bring down a vert from chazal regarding the “obligation” for yeshivos to educate the students without regard to payment of tuition, for the rabbonim to work without pay etc. but ultimately, you cannot pay your bills and keep the doors open by quoting chazal…you need for the check to clear the bank.

For those who are mehadrim on a low-fat, low-starch, low-sodium diet, consider substituting a firm tofu for about half the meat you would ordinarily use and trim the fat from the real meat you do use. Also consider adding some whole grains and carrots for some of the beans and potatoes. Finally, there are some excellent salt substitutes that add real flavor but don’t adversely affect your blood pressure. There is NO chiyuv do use unhealthy ingredients in you chulent nor must you use meat so be creative if you want to enhance your physical well being aka “ushamartem es nafshosechem”

If one is teaching at yeshiva for boys and has not been paid or is paid a below-market salary, there is no chiuv for the rebbeim at that yeshiva to continue working without pay and forego taking another job through which they can feed their own families. That may mean a position in chinuch at another yeshiva or any other position that will provide the requisite compensation. Ifs up to the parents of the talmidim at that first yeshiva to assure that hey pay their tuition so that the teachers are paid on time or if not, to transfer their bochurim to another yeshiva. The obligation on chinuch is on the parents; the teachers are not obligated to work without pay.

I learned from a rebbe who use the term “Ebeshter” (or at least it sounded like an “E” rather than a long “A”….