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Make Me Don’t Break Me,
Rabbi Moshe Gans
A grandparents role is unconditional love. With such a cutie pie, it shouldn’t be too complicated!
Get yourself over to your doc for blood work. It might be a sugar issue. He should test your glucose and insulin. Good luck.
I would consider depression to be an illness, albeit a mental one. Is there a reason why one would marry someone with an illness? Is the illness genetic? What are the other pros? What are YOUR cons? If you have medical issues, I would put it as a shidduch with similar cons. (I gave a similar answer to the divorcee question.)
Question: Is your son receiving direction from you through hitting? A great book about parenting is “Make Me Don’t Break Me” by R. Moshe Gans.
aurora77-I don’t think the question was about tantrums or extreme violent behavior, it was about hitting. It’s normal for a child to be upset and want to hit a parent, especially if hitting is the norm in the house. Child needs to be taught not to hit & parents need to be taught positive reinforcement.
I would agree with Menachem Melamed, but… how is he otherwise? Does he have anger issues (breaking things, tantrums)? Is he generally compliant? And last… why did he hit you? Was it within context of his anger? Or was it a show of opposition?
I would discuss his classroom behavior with his Morah/Rebbe. How is he in class?
I would consider it a con on my list of pros and cons. Now… what are the pros? What are YOUR cons? You need someone who knows you personally to help you sort this one out.
I don’t understand; don’t the grandparents realize that you are more religious (or frum, or litvish or chassidish or yekkish or more traditional) than them? Isn’t there a term that you can use for your children that can explain the differences?
Someone who shares your Torah values, whatever they may be. Someone who shares your passions for life whatever they may be. Someone whose company you sincerely enjoy. Someone who you want to be the parent for your children.
Nobody can tell you what to look for, you need to know on your own what your values are.
I have similar issues, but not to the same degree.
1. Are your children asking these questions, or are you concerned that they will? Children are usually very accepting, especially of someone that they love.
2. I believe that it’s okay to tell children that grandma and grandpa aren’t as religious as we are. You can explain why you feel religion is important and that you live in a community where you and your children can have friends with similar religious values. Grandma and grandpa grew up in a different environment, went to different schools, didn’t have such a great community etc., but cared very much that their children should be more religious than them.
Ask your hubby to discuss these issues with your Rav. Even if she disagrees with you, you can tell her that this is what your Rav said to do. Works for me!