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I’m sickened to no end when I see others sickened to no end. I hope that no others are sickened to no end when they see me sickened to no end because I see that you are sickened to no end.
Will there be an end to those who are sickened to no end? Or is there an endless sickening to no end?
from Purdue U.
Use a semicolon when you link two independent clauses with no connecting words. For example:
I am going home; I intend to stay there.
It rained heavily during the afternoon; we managed to have our picnic anyway.
They couldn’t make it to the summit and back before dark; they decided to camp for the night.
Miss L. Aneous
You’re recipe is delicious! Thank you!
I added a topping of minced onion, kosher salt, sesame and poppy seeds. Yum!
Everyone knows that if toast falls it falls on the buttered side. If a cat falls it falls on its legs.
What happens if you butter the back of a cat?
If you bake it in the oven it will form. Make it in a pot on the stovetop. There are a lot of recipes online, my favorite is you heat oil, pour in half your kugel recipe, pour in meat, and pour in rest of kugel. Let it cook overnight. Good luck!
P.S. Some people like it just potatoes, without any eggs. I prefer the kugel recipe.
BTW, my father comes from Poland. Correct pronunciation is yaptzuk.
Do you prefer the French version? They have comparing apples and pears!
Find a talmid of Rav Avigdor Miller and you will get an ear full. He had heard of some horror stories with advice that psychologists had given and was anti-psychologist.
Stand on your head and yell with all your might: ku, kuku, kukuri, kukuriku!
It’s a hard thing for you to decide; it’s an impossible thing for someone who doesn’t know you to decide.
That being said, you need to know a few things about yourself. What are your talents as a worker? What are your talents as a student? What do you like to do that is a marketable skill?
If you don’t want to go to college, are you interested in computer courses? Would you like to be a kriah/chumash tutor? A contractor/plumber/electrician?
It’s amazing how the CR can help you “return to my usual midah of sincere humility.”
It reminds me of a bumper sticker; my humility is so great all my other qualities don’t even show!
+1 pba. lol!
Usually, when I look for a specialist, I ask my doctor for a referral… why don’t you go that route??
you’re wife’s gift should be apostrophe’s for you’re self?? What would be you’re gift to you’re wife??
I don’t know where this is from…
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of sleeping pills,
Then you are probably the family dog.
Are you talking about grief or trauma? For grief, you need to talk, grieve, keep busy and give it time. I’m not saying that the grief will ever go completely away, but it will diminish.
For trauma I’d recommend asking a Rav/mentor what to do…I don’t know enough about you or the situation if counseling/medication is appropriate or if you just need time and a person to talk to.
Good luck!
I usually check Amazon and find a book to read with the child to help with such a situation. I’m not sure what her issues are… is she being bullied? Is she a loner? Does she lack ways to communicate? Is she not as street smart as her friends? Your might just need to speak to the teacher and get her to change her group of friends. You might just have to invite one child at a time to the house and coach her beforehand on games to play.
(I personally hate having to deal with a group… I prefer speaking 1-on-1 with people.)
If the issue is severe or if you don’t know how to deal with it, def follow snowbunny’s advice.
If you and your spouse want to exchange gifts, then it’s nobody’s business (unless your rav holds that you shouldn’t).
I would recommend one large gift and make sure your spouse knows that that’s it! You don’t want to give him chatchkes. I believe in discussing with a spouse how much to spend on gifts and what type (s)he likes, some people like necessities, while others prefer luxuries (go ahead, start a new thread about it!).
I wouldn’t propose. I would ask him, at which point would he feel comfortable to propose? Is there anything that you could do to help speed up the process? You really like xyz about him and would love to spend the rest of your life with him. What would it take? (maybe that is called proposing…) Good luck!! Let us know if there’s good news!
Always: You have our sympathy.
You don’t need answers; you didn’t do anything wrong. Why your husband did? His problem, it has nothing to do with you. You only need answers when you do something wrong to understand why you did it and how you can fix it. We each have our own yetzer hora and no one can understand someone else’s addictions. Our only job is to better understand our own problems and addictions.
Where do you go from here? B”H I have no idea, but I can tell you that it will take time.
Take the time to heal. Definitely connect with people who have been in your shoes, keep yourself busy and make some time for yourself. Bond with family and friends. Good luck.
You have my sympathies, and I will not advise you on this issue. I will advise you though, to find social and financial happiness outside of the marriage. Make sure that you have friends and activities outside of the house so that you can air out (whether you stay married or divorce). I don’t know your financial standings, but if you don’t have a marketable skill take the time to take a course in something that interests you. Whether you stay married or not, you need some financial independence. I do feel that divorce affects children (from what I’ve seen) but so does a bad marriage with an OCD spouse.
I will try to guide you a little though, you say your husband wants a second chance. What is he willing to do get it? You sound like you now have the upper hand, use it to the best of your abilities.
I will strongly disagree with Popa, I think that most people should stay married. Marriage is great for the physical, emotional and spiritual well being of all involved; man, woman and child(ren). It is an institution that G-d himself created. Unfortunately, some people are spoiled or have mental challenges and don’t know how that marriage means that they need to give and not just receive.
Do people measure their success in life by how many people respond to their posts??
Someone is gonna respond with “DUH! Of course we do!”
My rule #1; Don’t just ask people for advice! Find a Rebbe, Rav or mentor to discuss your issues with.
A great Sefer is Veyodata Ki Sholom Oholecha.
My advice is to make sure that your kallah knows that she is the #1 person in your life. No one comes even close. Do this in both words and actions.
It’s normal to be nervous before taking a big step. Relax and enjoy, I’m sure that you made a great choice with your kallah.
1. Why do you think that the two are mutually exclusive??
2. People should discuss these questions with a mentor. It isn’t a question that has a “one size fits all” answer.
+1 Sof Davar
I don’t have the details of this trial, but not every time that a Rebbe/Morah speaks to a child in an office (which others can enter at any time) is there a “good reason to to say when there is smoke, there is fire.” This issue is true for the tutors and specialties as well, they all need some privacy yet we need to have people entering and leaving at will. Some children might still have accusations and they need to be taken seriously, although not as an absolute truth.
“Usually when there’s smoke, there has been fire.”
Is that enough of a reason to besmirch a person? Because of “usually”? I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be an investigation, but the reason why you aren’t privy to all the info is b/c we don’t believe in publicizing every child’s accusations! (Yes, I know of a child who made an accusation-I’ll leave out the details- that turned out to be untrue.)
I do believe that parents need to teach their children to beware. I do believe that schools need to make sure that students aren’t left alone with teachers and I do believe that every accusation should be taken seriously! But I also believe that every accusation shouldn’t be spread across the NY Times before we ascertain that the child is telling the truth!
Do you find him unattractive b/c of it?
I agree, I give the $1 as well feeling bad for the collector. I feel even worse when the next collector comes over and I give him $1 and ask for change… maybe one day I’ll be able to afford $1 for everyone. Hopefully all of you will be able to afford it as well!
+1 Yatzmich. These dangers are for girls older than 15 as well.
The question was if anyone has information about such a fund; not if you think there should be one or if you would like to donate to one.
I don’t know of any such fund.
Mazel Tov! I am thrilled to read that you have a baby! You are one of the lucky mommies who are spending quality time with her baby. Your child is one of those lucky babies who is getting to spend quality time with mom.
I don’t have a solution to your problem, but I am very impressed that you are venting here instead of at your husband. Best of luck!
You say that your son is addicted and is abusing a substance. Can you give more details?
WIY- There are some things that people do that they would do with a friend, but don’t realize how inappropriate it may be on a date. Some people think that a long drive is great for a date, while they can get some direction here that not every girl will agree with it, and some may feel very uncomfortable. I think that it’s okay for a girl to tell her friends that she doesn’t like to cook and that it’s okay for a guy to tell his friends racist jokes. For a date? NOT!
Guys: don’t say racist jokes!
Girls: don’t say that you don’t like to cook!
My favorite cholent is yaptzuk. Lots of different versions of how to make it, I like potato kugel recipe with meat in the middle. You can search for recipes online.
R. Michel Steinmetz paskens that if the item isn’t of great value then Yeshvia can keep it; if it’s of value they must return it, although they can return it at the end of the year or to a parent.
There are two parts to your question: How do you get the younger kids to participate and how do you keep the older ones interested.
Can the older ones help out by previewing parsha sheets with the younger ones (those sheets are NOT a test!) and giving the kids rides by the zemiros? Some kids like to.
Definitely give younger kids break time. They can go play and you’ll call them back. You can give them break time between each course!
R. Pesach Krohn says that in order to have a successful Shabbos meal the father needs prep time. What is his Dvar Torah? What is his story (we can start a new thread for book recommendations)? Does he have any hashkafa issues he wants to discuss? Does he have a sefer that he learns a little from every meal (we can start a new thread for recommendations)?
I would start a behavior system for the fighting. It can be special Shabbos treat for good behavior, or a check after Shabbos which can be used to buy a prize.
Good luck! Before you know it the kids will be bigger and you’ll wonder where all the noise is!
Because he gave out Obamaphones.
Because he survived a Christie bearhug.
Because everyone can go bankrupt, why not the US?
I forgot why, do you think I have Romnesia?
Because he slept through the first debate, who can’t sympathize with a guy who sleeps through a debate?
Because no-one believes that 16 trillion is a real number.
Because we aren’t racist but we are anti-Mormon.
Because Biden laughed through his debate and we all like people who laugh.
Because Ryan doesn’t have an MP3 list from “Avraham Fried to Zalman Kwarten.”
I discussed this question with my Rav; I won’t tell you what he said b/c I believe that people should discuss their questions with their Rav.
R. Yaakov Salomon agrees with Whiteberry, do some introspection and see how you can do Teshuva.
Wolf, why don’t you look into the mirror and decide????
What’s normal in one marriage can be unusual in another. Did the wife’s mother polish her father’s shoes? Did the mil polish fil’s shoes?
Does wife enjoy polishing shoes? Does husband not care about polished shoes and wife really does?
Does husband come home 1/2 hour before shabbos and jump into the shower and doesn’t have time to polish shoes?
Does husband feel a need to be pampered a little? Does he pamper his wife and expect this favor in return?
When looking 4 a speaker 1st they asked a big talmid chochom. Being humble he declined. next they asked a person who is a big yiras shomayim. Being humble, he declined. Finally they asked me (say how you’re related) and I accepted. I didn’t want to say “no” 3 times!
I’ve used all my sick days…so I called in dead!
I have a relative whose mother suffered from depression. The father was able to afford cleaning help, therapy, and yes, vacations for the two of them. They even went away for Pesach (please no comments if you disagree, it was a big help for the mom). Do you think money helped?
I work as a special ed teacher. I have a student with LD and behavior issues. Parents are able to afford a behavior therapist for nightly hw, a mid-winter vacation with a babysitter who comes along, and money for sp ed camp while they go to EY to recharge their batteries. Money helps?
Do you know anyone who has unfortunately used Chai Lifeline and all their resources? It helps a lot. Donate if you can. Let your money help someone who really can use it.
BTW, this is off the topic. Regular people also get to recharge their batteries with a 10 day vacation. You can’t compare a 2 day to a 10 day. You can’t compare it if you “get out of dodge” to a staycation. Regular people also enjoy extra cleaning help before Pesach. Regular people also enjoy eating out once in a while. If you’re happy without it, great! Some rich people are unhappy no matter what they have. The research is about the average person.
avhaben-
1. Some people are thrilled to take a two day vacation and that’s enough for them for the year. Others will be unhappy with it and need/want to do more. Can you compare a 10 day trip to Eretz Yisroel or lehavdil Orlando with a two day trip?
2. In my post I only said vacation, everybody has their own standard of vacation that they can/can’t afford.
avhaben: People who are able to hire help, take vacation when necessary, and buy items that can assist them with their particular issue are less unhappy.
The question though isn’t whether people who are suffering are suffering less when they’re wealthy, it’s whether general happiness is equated with wealth.
The research of happiness and wealth is: people who are financially stable are happier than poor people, while people who are rich aren’t happier than comfortable people.
Popa, how would you know if she needs it? Would you need to meet the psychiatrist? Would you demand that first she stops the meds and then you’ll date? As a spouse, do you feel that you are in charge of what meds your spouse can take? Do you really believe that meds are “overprescribed” to the extent that “she almost certainly doesn’t need it”?? Do you have research to prove that???