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Gaiva of any sort, found in a person for any “reason” is nothing more than a deep insecurity. Someone who really knows themself knows their place, and that place is a small part of Hashem’s creation next to the Melech Ha Olam.
When some one is gaivadik they lack self esteem because they lack humility. This is because they lack a proper attitude of being a servant rather than a boss. THey will not feel anything of pride when putting on an expensive gorgeous outfit either, because in knowing that the Aibishter has trusted in their possesion this dress and that He can take it back and they can go to the grave at any moment they will not laud themselves over others.
Believe me – those who seem to have a thing about gaiva because of their Yichus do not really hold themselves high, or else they’d find higher reasons to associate their “highness” on , besides for some good things their dead fathers did once. Like things they have done good in their own life time. WHich by the way, if its a true mitzvah, only really leads to humility and gratitude that Abishter blessed them with the zechus to perform it in the first place.
The OP mentioned she is Yeshivish and goes with a black hat?
apushatayid: The Best place to put tzedakah $ for a yeshua is Kupat Ha’ir. I have numerous amazing personal stories I could share in how I saw yeshuos in having given tzedakah to them. However I must warn you that the important factor includes calling up their 1-888 # to actually give in your names because in my experience i did not see the yeshua until I called in the name despite having had in mind and declaring the vow that I will give.
Their 24 Hr hotline is 1-888-587-2842 (pay by cc)
I was reading in the book “The Garden of Peace” by Rav Shalom Arush just this past shabbos that money won gambling is not kosher as one is benefitting from other’s loss.
However this does not include these lotteries that are sold as a pot as you mentioned above. This money is not acquired by other’s losing anything.
The book continued to say that if a person has true emunah he buys one ticket and only one ticket. He knows that if the Ribbono Shel Olam wants him to win then that ticket will have the numbers needed to win.
What seems peculiar to me is the opening statement made by the OP regarding why the need for this questionnaire “…. so we know who we are speaking to” meaning in the coffeeroom.
Very funny.
First of all, why didn’t he open with “who has looked at the forbidden on the internet”. Obviously if someone is in the coffeeroom then they are online. If someone is onlinethen they possibly have access to more discreet and horrible things than a TV has to offer.
Why didn’t he ask “who has internet in the home”.
I just think its very naive to think one can get to “know ” who he is communicating with in a yeshivish environment forum such as this one, by asking “who owns a tv”.
He could have asked who owns a dog?
This could also give a picture or feeling to who is not “as frum as thou”. AS most charedim do not have animals in the house.
I dont believe in “entertaining” children. If you are at home with them an entire day, it should be broken up so that you are only in fact “instructing” them as a guide/teacher for short short periods. You basically pull out some activity give them short instruction and demo and then let them get into it themselves.
They will naturally get bored of this within a short time, after they’ve experimented with what they can and cannot do with it and then turn to other activties.
Children need free play, free creative time and yes, they do need a bit of “guidance aka entertainment” as far as being given ideas as to what to do with themselves. But usually they will let you know what they want to do, naturally.
Playdough with household utensils for mushing with, (can make your own playdough by the way), sewing buttons on things (you can pull them off once they’ve gone to sleep), let them stand on a chair at the kitchen sink and “wash dishes” even 2 year olds can do this!….a wash cloth or spray bottle for washing the walls is a BIG toy in my house! Don’t ask me why. I have all nice expensive toys what a kid would want but they love the wash cloths. I let them do the windows, and turn a blind eye to the blurry smears they make. Polishing shoes is fun for 4 year olds. (Dont give real polish.) Give an apple with a peeler they think its great.
set up a train on railroad on living room floor,. they love this. Pull cushions off couch and let them jump to music.
msseeker what is your head covering? A shpitzel?
bombmaniac you really have talent. I always throw something to the needy. Say even a 1$ or whatever I can. Sometimes part of my groceries I am shlepping like a banana. I feel terrible walking past a sleeping “bum” in a blanket on the subway floor in winter, just trying to keep warm. Sometimes when I know we are going to pass a certain subway station downtown and pass numerous such sights, I tell my daughter oh lets bring extra sandwiches to leave by their side. you can never know how this soul ended up in this terrible circumstance, and never the less its a child of Hashem. No one should turn a blind eye to another’s suffering!
Thanks Trying my best. I learned something I didn’t know.
Although it could be argued my point is unrelated, I would like to point out the question that should be asked “What was it that gave the Satmar Rebbe the title of “…a lion…the last of its’ kind..”
I must reiterate that I feel its the fact that ‘some’ of today’s accepted yiddishkeit, and some of what we ‘accept with hechsheirim’ as yiras shomayim and ‘some’ of the rulings amongst ‘some’ Rabbonim are not what it use to be. Emphasis on the word “some”.
I was stating the Satmar Rebbe zichrono l’vracha in this example because he was against the sheital.
The facts I said above are not made up.
chayavinishlivesumay, I know we all have our cranky times and so if this is one of yours, that would explain your ornerary attitude.
The comment I made is just a factual statement devoid of derogation. Thus it was not a contradiction to my screen name which can be broken down as follows:
I am frum
I am a lady
and Ich bin git
I hope this helps,
Not sure how that affects my comment, as I was just stating the facts. Like it or not.
Feel better.
popa bar abba when the Satmar Rebbe was niftar there was a remark made by one of the leading Gedolim, whose name I cannot remember right now, and who referred to the Satmar Rebbe as “The last of the lions”. THe fact was that he was willing to stand up to what is true and correct. In going against the rest of the world.
Today we do not see such courage, unfortunately, and you burying your head in the sand does not change that.
ha ha no doubt!
YOY this is so stupid! I clicked the thread STORYTIME! Thinking I share the best funniest story I have to tell you.
Ok I am going to anyways.
One night it was quiet and late, and I decided to do my telephone banking. So I get some overseas customer representative, he was probablly in India, and who was courteous and friendly. I made a request that he do something and while I was waiting for this request to finish, all was quiet. The house, all around me. And I was just sitting alone.
Suddenly he said : by the way MRS. _______ on behalf of the Bank of _____ we would like to wish you a very Happy Birthday.
I was totally overcome with a strange feeling. Like fear. Just shocked that in the middle of the night some guy overseas would knows today is my BIRTHDAY!!! I felt suddenly uneasy, so I sat up in my chair, still holding on to the ice cream cone I had treated myself to. And I asked :
Excuse me but how do you know its my birthday?
He : WEll MRS._______ at The Bank of __________we know everything.
Me: Oh really? (feeling even more weirded out) (I look around me, then my eyes fall suddenly on the ice cream in my hand). Well Then tell me what flavor ice cream am I eating right now?
He : Unfortuntalely MRS._______ our systems are not that far advanced yet.
ME & Him : Laugh.
Was that not hilarious?
It would be a Obstetrician or Midwife. I would love for one day to run around my clinic office and the hospital. DOing emergency C-sections, when life threatening and necessary and catering to granoladoula attended births as desired.
I would love to study the physiology of the newborn and his system in adapting to the outside world. Comforting mothers in loss or grief (chas v`shulem), and helping women have healthy babies and births. Sharing in their simcha and using the medical knowledge to make rapid decisions.
wow WaitingforMoshiach I like your thread. Very good post. I myself go with a shpitzl by the way.
Funny story, my husband who works with a goyim was once approached by one of these men from Sri Lanka or India. He says in his unrefined English: Yeah, hey you know our women each year cut their hair to give to our gods in our temple then we sell it and your women buy it they make nice wig yeah. you know?
My husband was not shocked even though this was AFTER the mass sheital hysteria of 2004. Rather he was deeply saddened that Rabbonim have not yet taken a stand against the human hair sheital. WHY?
1. Its impossible to properly supervise ENTIRLELY the sheital
s production from the time the hair is cut from the womans head until final product, thus rendering any hechsher invalid.2. How many Europeans do you know of grow their hair for industry profits? …um…none.
3. Fact is its the low class Eastern Indian and sri lankan idol worshippers.
4. Unfortunatley some frum people want their looks at any cost. And giving up the sheital is a big part of it which they are not willing to come to terms with.
More than the $ is the Thank you. Give a card (you get a pack of 5 at a dollar store for a buck) then say thanks for what you do for the children. Then I think between $10-20 is sufficient per driver.
Does it actually fall on this friday night, meaning December 24th?
Actually I understand that its not on the same date each year but that it comes out on a different date, as it follows the Hebrew Calendar in what we must watch for, despite it following the xtian holiday of the 25th.
By the way I was once in a funny community when this date fell. The town was running around covering each and covering every food item in their homes with anything plastic or aluminum to save it from being affected by the Ruach Tamei which descends on the world at that time.
WHen I started this meshugius as well, my husband just turned to them and asked one question. All the food in the grocery stores which is now uncovered, in the chain stores and yiddishe stores alike, are you telling me that tommorrow you are not going to buy food that was not covered and protected?
They had no answer.
Results from a compliment depend on where they come from in a person and to where they go in the receiver.
I personally cannot stand compliments from this high ego driven woman in our community who is an attention seeking social butterfly who feels she is on top of the world and better than everyone else.
When she
pats me on the backwith her words of flattery I actually feel invaded or robbed by her approval andpunching my ticketNo one needs that.On the other hand if a sincere old heimishe woman stops me in the bank and just says a soft sincere word such as
your looking very good these days, it actually makes me feel nice.The only ONLY place I have ever seen and heard children calling adults by their first name is within Lubavitch.
Personally I don’t feel you are shallow or did anything wrong in what you felt. These feelings are there, albeit in the disguise of a “turned-off-ness to something about her” to guide you in finding your bashert.
When you find the right one there will be absolutely no physical defect, or spiritual peckle, (small or large) that could possibly stand in your way of wanting to marry this person.
I am plump but its a fact that my husband finds it attractive on a woman.
My personal taste is that there is no way, absolutely no way I would ever be attracted to a chubby man. The fact is, that normally with zivigum all the traits are divided between the couple. So sometimes, you have that one person has a problem that they like to overeat. So that person will tend to be heavy, while the other one doesn’t. For example, my husband is the opposite of me. He is well built and does weights. He needs a soft, chubby zivug. Get it?
I believe that ppl who are overweight- it always goes together with an “issue”. So, perhaps you aren’t attracted to the neshama who has the “issue” they have which results in being overweight from eating. You will get a wife with other “issues”, that result in other meshugiusin she may have, which you will in turn be “blind” to as you “need” these in your life to work out for your soul correction.
All of the above opinion/theory is only true if you are not one of these Bocherim who just wants a blonde barbie dolls to show off to your friends. My husband has good advice for these types`:
Do everyone a favor and don`t get married…because
What are you going to do when she is 45, over the hill, had a
few babies and added a few lbs? She will not turn heads anymore at that point.So if you are really just into
looksyou need to correct that.you must say something!!! only thing is that if you do not have a relationship with them at all, then you are not suppose to. This is from the Vayg fin Shalayim sefer, I believe.
But why would you even doubt for a minute that its your obligation to “set them straight” and bring it to their attention if in deed you are close to them?
Ahhhh, please.
I learned not to care what anyone thinks.
There is no way a frum couple would go on public TV before 10 million viewers and risk lying. Besides for that, I believe them because they are frum people and doubt they’d lie in general, as they are Honest Yidden.
However, they took a risk at making a chillul hashem in going to court before TV, before the public. THey had no idea how crazy or batty this judge was, but took the risk she’d do something crazy and that was their mistake in judgment. She made them look very bad, and they had no way to defend themselves from her.
However, I believe they can sue her or at least appeal the case.
however, I just feel so bad for them.
I wouldn’t censor the comments I didn’t agree with.
For example I personally tried to express my concern and opinion the other day about the tragic skiing accident involving a bocher, which truthfully could have been avoided, had skiing already become defined as an unnecessary dangerous sport risking one’s life, which is no longer to be practiced by yidden.
Yet they removed this. I suppose its stepping on the moderator’s toes, who may love his skiis.
onegoal:
I have something funny to tell you. Today I was in a toystore that had those old fashioned mini arcade games like space invaders and frogger, and pac-man. THey were 50% off from $45 to $21.95..Remember how they look exactly like a mini replica of the real big thing from the 1980’s? well….
I was chalushing to buy one! THen I remembered what I wrote here about it being bitul z’man. So I didn’t. However I even reasoned just like you say above, which is true, that we need down time to rest,relax and play sometimes. So maybe I will go back and get it tommorrow!
Terrible Idea, onegoal.
Its a waste of time. Complete waste of time. AS Rav shalom arush says in his book “garden of emunah” people want to know that they are doing something with a purpose in life. FOr ex. if you were to ask someone to lift his arm up and down and up and down repeatedly for 1 hr, he would refuse, because there is NO TACHLIS! Even if you were to pay him, he’d likely refuse.
To teach children to kill time is bitul z’man and not a yiddisher mentality. We have so much to accomplish here.
Eclipse, you need to read “the garden of emunah” by Rav Shalom Arush, translated by Rabbi Brody.
I am so sorry for your bad mazel, as we have been through this ourselves as a family, and know what its like.
The only comfort is that as my daughter once said “At least you get to know who your real friends are” and who is worth having for a friend!!!! PPL who are chushev tend to not get passed around the shmutzy news, and even if they catch wind of it, they don’t give it much belief.
Someone said something nice once, that when people talk on you you can be sure you’re doing something right. Its the yetzer hara that stirs things up just when you put your right foot first.
The other side is that as long as you can put your head down at night on your pillow with a clear conscience, knowing your account is truly straight with Hashem and that He is happy with you, that is what counts, cause there is an Abishter in the world and He will protect you from ppl who will try to put deterents in your way.
I know that it can hurt deep inside anyways, though. People don’t realize how much until it happens to them.
snapple I am with you. Its ridiculous. Very few people could afford this.
Wow, that’s a nice story.(OP)
I also had a “test” this past week. I was getting nauseaus and hungry as usual, and on the run out of my neighborhood, where there were no kosher yiddisher groceries. So I went into a convenience store and saw a brand name of chips, with a hecher but without the bishul.
I decided in this case, since I am legitamitely in need I should just buy them and ok so I will feel a bit guilty.
But in the end I am happy to say that I decided its not right and found salty nut snacks anyways which were ok in the next isle.
i was very grateful i didnt do it.
I love to tell ppl good words that will make them feel good. One such occasion I haven’t forgotten though, backfired, making me feel very bad. I told a new mother who had just had her first boy after a few girls, “Mazel Tov – A Yingle! How precious….”etc. You can imagine, whatever ppl say…but as I continued she should have yiddish nachas or whatever I was exclaiming she was obviously doing this very strange new thing that is a style to be distant and almost shunning every word I was saying in order to ward off an ayin hara. It really showed a lack of being warm and receptive to someone being happy for you, and she realized her mistake and tried to fix her coldness as it was obviously inappropriate. She was almost loathing. I just thought the act was dumb and if someone wants to express happiness at your simcha, let them. If they are blessing you just receive it and dont do this weird kabbalah stuff at others expense. I didn’t have to be happy for her. BUt I was! So ….
Thank you artchill.
ha ha ha ha good one. But isnt that loshen hara?
I saw the Goldbergs got a new car.
OK so IF …if…if I have been wrong and unintentionally offended any members, relatives, wives, shareholders or rabbis of the OU Kashrus organization I sincerely and humbly apologize as my only intention was to argue with popabaraba.
I would not otherwise be able to fall asleep with a clear conscience. But you still wont catch me drinking a Starbucks ok?
Hello???? Aries2756 Back in the thread it has been mentioned that Starbucks is not ok-ed by CrC but only by OU. That is one of the reasons and nature of the purpose of a Discussion like this.
If I bring this up its not wrong. Its a discussion. CrC doesnt hold like OU.
Ok you hold by your rav and I will hold by mine, and we’ll all be happy drinking our favorite coffees with sweet smiles on our faces, and fingers dancing wildly over the keyboard of our laptops, whilst sipping our hot drinks! (hopefully not arguing here anymore)
LUV YA!
popabar I did not slander people. I think you may have an insecurity complex issue, based on how you receive/perceive my statements when it comes to issues close to your heart, or coffee cup. However your problem is not within the context of this thread for me to address here, so I will just say that it is a fact that foods which cannot be eaten before cooked such as the above mentioned examples need to be cooked by a Jew. That is in the Shulcan Aruch.
Now as for your accusation that I am slandering rabbonim, I did not use anyones name. So it is impossible to have.
Futhermore, I do not even know the name of which Rav you people such as SYSinNYC or dunno claim to have gotten a “mutter” from. THere are many different kinds of “rabbis” who “hold” differently. THerefore you see OU saying that breakfast cereals do not have to be pas israel.
WHen someone like myself holds differently that is not slandering another person.
Aries2756 if it is the case that discussing Starbucks and kashrus questions on blogs is inappropriate why haven’t you or anyone else pointed this out when the OT first opened this thread?
The OT mentions many things in his initial post. Such as what is your opinion as to the establishment holding breakfast sandwiches that are vadai tarfus.
He mentions many “shailas”, however it was only a discussion until I pointed out the many issues as I shared my firsthand “inside” information from past employment experience in such an food and drink place. THat was when I was accused of slandering Rabbonim and having a holier than thou attitude above the coffee drinkers.
By the way, not one person has been able to properly address the question as to where ‘they’ rely on certain things do not need be produced bishul/pas israel. Just a bunch of bashing.
Go to Starbucks homepage, FAQ’s
http://www.starbucks.com/customer-service/faqs/menu
There is a question :
Are your beverages kosher?
So I am asking is it ok to have non-jews preparing Kosher drinks without supervision? I dont know. Someone answer.
Aries I like what you wrote. But I just have one question. These kashrus organizations like OU also put hechshierim on products that are not necessarily bishul or pas Israel. For example, potatoe chips, breakfast cereals, granola bars.
On what do they base this? It says clearly in the SHulcan Aruch its a major averiah to eat these things if they are not bishul.
Like I said before, the fact is people DONT want to know. And the people who want to know – know it already.
I just logged in to find a whole new discussion now on the word Criby? LOL.
Ok real brisker and smartcookie, I understand the point you may be making, however, I cannot stand those mentalities that say You should not baby sugar your voice when speaking to a baby.
Excuse me, its so normal and natural to talk sweet to a sweet kid. How can you expect to talk to them straight like an adult. That is like ripping them off from the babyhood experience. I am not saying to call a crib a criby and a broit a broity forever, but I mean specifically the intonation of the voice going up and high pitched and gentle like feminine.
Babies need that. I am sure it can be proven.
Do I need to ask if its ok to buy cut up fruit from a nonkosher caterer? After all its just fruit. According to your reasoning there are no problems with just a “black coffee”.
My point is that people who want their Starbucks coffee will overlook whats wrong with it. There are many problems with it, as have been discussed above.