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Wow! What a great zchus and merit! While obviously preferable not to be OTD in the first place, but doing teshuva and returning is unbelievable. And you got to do it twice. Once when you converted, and again now. Hashem loves when his children return!
Obviously, please reach out for guidance, but do the best you can.
(Lit. whoever comes to purify themselves will be helped from above)
הבא ליטהר מסעיין אותו
Good luck!!gavra_at_work,
The OP has a point. It is a painful situation. And many people feel they may do as they please.
Also, if you do something wrong, that is one thing. But if you are a Chotai Umachti it is much worse. You have no idea who you are affecting, and where this may lead the person being affected. I personally am very concerned about having that responsibility.
And obviously, on the positive side, the rewards even in Olam HaZeh are tremendous. Especially since this is so difficult.
According to the shitta that copying music is assur, why would it become muttar just because someone changed the order and made it available for you to download? Why would it make a difference where you got it from? And why would it make a difference if the order is random? I imagine that according to this shitta you would not even be allowed to copy a single song, so it wouldn’t matter that you are cutting and reordering it…
How about if you ask him/her instead of commanding.
Are you leaving your kids in the buggy unattended while you are shopping?
Goq, I like that! Made me chuckle.
Bustercrown,
You have our sympathies. Maybe being well on the way to divorce is the push he needs to finally go with the program and keep his promises. Perhaps at this point you might finally be able to have him do what it takes to make the relationship work again. What do your Rov and Your Therapist say to that?
Since he knows that he is really dumb and she is telling him that he is smart, he should realize that she is dumb…
zahavasdad,
Please don’t be so quick to criticize. I may be wrong, but from reading the posts it seems that the Customs agent acted inappropriately, and the OP is just trying to rightfully get back his illegally seized property…
Always,
Excellent start!! Hang in, we’re all rooting for you. And davening too!! It may not be easy, but please hang in there. We all care.
Always,
Right now you need to call Shalom Task Force. Just because you agree to call does not mean you have to leave etc. You can hear what they have to say and make your own decision. But please, please do make that phone call. Many of us have seen similar situations and are speaking from experience, and yours fits a pattern. Please tell us that you will call. We all care.
Always,
Please call Shalom Task force. Calling does not mean you committed to doing anything. Just call, and have a conversation. That’s all. Please come back and let us know that you spoke to them. We all care.
Hmmm… Who is the reliable source?
imnotsaying says
“So, I’ve been told because of peer pressure. So, he doesn’t have the ability to stand up to what he believes? If someone would jump off a roof, would you too? Smoking is much more expensive, more harmful and a more painful way of dying!”
Hmmm… So what about a girl whose tznius is not 100% because of the peer pressure that “everyone dresses that way and I don’t want to be neb or a frummie”. Should we cross those girls off our shidduch lists because they are putting themselves into spiritual danger due to peer pressure?
Something sounds fishy. It’s hard to believe that all the askonim and all the various government officials up to Netanyahu himself would not be aware of that.
ZeesKite, A very small price to pay indeed. It’s refreshing when you see someone not whining about what they have to give up for yiddishkeit. Rather that they appreciate that it’s a small price for the great return they are getting.
We have jnet and are happy with them. There may be other filters out there that are good, but there is a definite advantage to having the filtering done by a company with a frum perspective. Their mehadrin (real-time) feature is also really nice. Even if a site falls through the cracks and is not blocked, the images will be filtered in real time as the page loads.
Ditto. I also noticed that…
Sacrilege
the real one
“You seem to be fixated on the topic of suicide.
The dormant social worker in me is troubled by this.”
Eclipse,
Please hang in there. We’re all rooting for you. Every single one of us. Try to get through one day at a time…
And please, please, don’t forget to daven. Talk to Hashem. Cry to him. You may not feel like it, and you may feel like it’s not helping, but it’s truly the thing that works best…
Shorosh,
PLEASE ask a competent Rabbi that is familiar with your situation. You will get a much better answer that from us anonymous posters. Hatzlacha!!! I hope it works out well for you.
“I think you look familiar.”
Sacrilege,
In many situations, it would be the proper and sensitive thing to discuss it with your friend. But if your friend just doesn’t want to “let go” that shouldn’t necessarily be grounds for not going out with that boy…
If you believe that whatever is coming to you cannot be taken away, even as much as a hairsbreadth, and vice versa, you cannot take from anyone else, then this is a non issue. Obviously most of us have not internalized that. But I would believe this is the Torah way of approaching it.
Another point (And this is being said with utmost sensitivity. After ten years of marriage, the shidduchim scenes are still fresh in my mind!) How would you feel, if after being on the market for a number of years, you’re still single, and finally a solid prospect comes up. Everything sounds great, and you would like to go out. The only problem is, that you’re friend went out with this guy, and still has feelings for him. He has no interest in her, and she knows this. But on some level, is still hoping that it may happen. So now you have to say no to this guy because your friend went out with him? There’s nothing to be gained by doing that. Because this guy won’t be waiting around. He’ll just go out with a third girl. Isn’t it insensitive to deny this girl a chance to go out with him? All on the chance of hoping against hope that this guy will not find ANYONE else, and eventually change his mind and come back?
A Jewish man buys a Lamborghini. However, after buying it, he feels a bit guilty, so he goes to the Rabbi of the Orthodox synagogue in his town and asks for a Mezuzah for the Lamborghini.
“You want a Mezuzah for what?” the Rabbi asks.
“It’s a Lamborghini,” the man replies.
“What’s a Lamborghini?” asks the Rabbi.
“A car, an Italian sports car.”
“What? That is blasphemy!” the Rabbi shouts. “You want a Mezuzah for a sports car? Go to the Conservatives!”
Well, the man is disappointed, but he waits a few days and finally goes to the Conservative Rabbi and asks for a Mezuzah.
“You want a Mezuzah for what?” the Rabbi asks.
“It’s a Lamborghini,” the man replies.
“What’s a Lamborghini?” asks the Rabbi.
“A car, an Italian sports car.”
“What? That is blasphemy!” the Rabbi shouts. “You want a Mezuzah for a sports car? Go to the Reform!”
Again the man feels guilty and disappointed, but finally he breaks down and goes to the Reform Rabbi.
“Rabbi,” he asks, “I’d like a Mezuzah for my Lamborghini.”
“You have a Lamborghini?” asks the Rabbi.
“You know what it is?” says the man.
“Of course, it’s a fantastic Italian sports car……………………… What’s a Mezuzah?”
It’s a simple sports car. The expensive ones start at Porsche and go all the way up to Bugatti…
These days some schools are cracking down on internet. When I was a child, the schools were cracking down on TV. Here is a(n unverified) story:
Parents tell their child “If your Rebbe or Principal asks if we have a TV, just tell him that we don’t have one.”
Next day the kid goes to school and the Principal asks him:
“Do you have a TV at home?”
Kid: “No”
Principal: “Do you have a radio with pictures?”
Kid: “Yes”
frumladygit,
What test? 😉
????? ??”? (??”? ?????? ??? ? ???? ??) “??? ????? – ??? ???, ?? ??? ????? ?????
Dr. Pepper,
If that was his attitude “It’s free, let me squeeze out what I can.” then I would tend to agree with you.
Dr. Pepper,
The second person clearly demonstrated poor resolve and/or confidence, and poor planning and foresight by not taking any notes. But this does not necessarily show that they were simply using you.
Squeak, you have a good understanding of people.
It sounds like squeak hit it on the nail. And, frumladygit, I don’t think she lives in a painful reality. It sounds like she looks at you as someone she can use, and by doing you a favor she now has a “right” to use you.
And when you want to do her a favor, she is not thinking “Oh no, now I will have to do her a favor.” Trust me. she probably doesn’t feel the slightest bit obligated. Users aren’t that way. What she is probably thinking is that if she accepts the favor her ability to use you is being diminished. She might be a very good actor. Many “users and manipulators” are. They can put on certain emotions to make you feel guilty, pressured, etc. as well…
Hatzlacha. I wish you lots of it. It may be a bit difficult to break free. I know of situations like this.
One consequence that comes to mind is that you are hired for the job, and three years into your career, you are fired because they need to downsize and found out you lied and were hired under false pretenses. And good luck when you go try and get a new job and they ask about you at the first place…
We use Jnet as our ISP. They have a variety of filtering levels, and the filtering is quite good. http://www.thejnet.com
Sephardic.Chabadnick,
You are obviously going through a tough time, and we all feel for you. It’s hard not to care about someone that is going through so much pain because they want to do the right thing for Hashem.
I would respectfully suggest that all CR members have you in mind in their tefillos. We should tell our friends as well. The power of tefilla is strong.
Hashem understands everything, so there is no NEED; but it is preferable to mention the person by name when you pray for them. You may not wish to do this; but please consider posting your hebrew name and your mother’s hebrew name (obviously no last names are necessary) so we can mention it during davening.
Please do keep us posted, we all do care, and hope things get better for you!!
Hang in there!!!
I’m a tzaddik nistar. I’m so hidden, that I don’t even know about it myself.
How about some Ahavas Chinam. Being nice to people even if you don’t feel like it. Someone is in a hurry at the grocery store, let them in front of you (If you can). Someone needs to get into your lane, don’t make believe you don’t see them. Let them in.
The list can go on for many pages…
Don’t speak badly about people, be sensitive to what it may cause them. (Besides the fact that it’s lashon hora).
Chemical imbalance is not something out of this world. When you get excited, angry, sad, or happy; those are all probably a bit different chemically.
Now, the same way you can be sad, and talk yourself out to someone to feel better (talk therapy), many of us would reach for some chocolate instead. It has been proven that pleasure producing things such as enjoyable foods, release endorphins and such, thereby changing the CHEMICAL balance in your brain.
So you can actually change the chemical balance by talking it out, or by eating piece of chocolate. It’s more complicated than that, but it’s a pretty good analogy. Sometimes the therapist will try talk, medicine, or a combination of both…
People do not realize that mental illness is just like a physical illness. It is quite often a chemical imbalance, and is cured by medication/therapy. Just like someone is not stigmatized if they have a heart condition, they should not be stigmatized for this either.
In Golus