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When Tu B’shvat means the beginning of tax season, and not the opening of the freezer…
When you wake up earlier than 8 A.M. every day.
When you go to Minyan 3 times a day.
When you start learning mussar because it means something to you.
If you are talking about for a man, it would usually refer to someone with a yeshivish-type yeshiva background, but he would be in college and/or working, and in general is more worldly than the typical kollel man. He would likely be into sports and politics, and read the Wall Street Journal, rather than strictly the Hamodia and Yated.
It is now five years later. So, whatever happened to the letter writer? Did she get married, and if so, to whom?
Nice, the Coffee Room is getting some new shadchanim. Sounds like a plan!
PBA: It must be affirmative action, which was just gaining traction in Nixon’s time.
Oh wait, the OP shouldn’t get a shidduch after all. His mother wears a robe and a tichel to the Friday night meal.
Sem613: You may hide when you tell the shadchan you are looking for a guy with a plan but don’t get into specifics.
We don’t hide. You don’t know where to look.
ihear: You are missing a big point! If one goes to college and takes out student loans, he would have to work at least part-time to pay up loans. Plus, some professions pretty much require you to start working entry-level, right after you graduate. If you don’t, there will be a major hole in your job resume later on. The OP is 27. Yes, at 23, he fit the standard because he was in yeshiva and college. Now, 4 years later, he is at a point in his career where he has to work at least part-time. He should stay in yeshiva until he gets enagged just so that he can go out with a good girl who is looking for a guy like him but is scared that her friends will stigmatize and she will think she’s “settling” for a sub-par guy. Ridiculous!
I know many learner-earners that learn AND earn better than full-time learners who are only there to go with the flow. Those guys are NOT better than a solid learner-earned. Solid learner-earners exist, because I am one of them!
In Pirkei Avos, it says that “Yafeh Talmud Torah im Derech Eretz” because it leaves no time for sin. One of those sins is bitul torah. HOW TRUE! If you are a serious learner-earner, you won’t have time to be involved with shtusim like movies and TV shows. The system is terribly flawed, and I feel terrible for adam3. May you find your zivug soon!
-Another learner-earner.
He will definitely help out the age gap problem. If he feels he is ready, and there is no reason for him not to date, then let him go ahead. Hatzlacha!
Yes, I do think that everyone is kollel should be called Rabbi. Especially if he has a beard.
Oyyoyyoy: EXACTLY THE POINT!!! Some guys are scared that they won’t be seen as mainstream if they don’t go to BMG. Therefore, they go there even though they don’t belong. Meanwhile, there are many other fine yeshivas they could learn in.
That was a little too easy, but that point is well-taken.
For ***SOME*** “Lakewood” guys, many of the yeshivas I listed are indeed fitting of guys with the same profile. I dare say I would know better than you.
Let’s not bash YU now, or RebDoniel will have something to say about it. I will admit that the primary purpose of me inserting YU into the list was to get to 20 yeshivas. However, that doesn’t mask the fact that many yeshivas on my list can indeed be good places for some guys currently going to Lakewood.
Nothing at all against most of the guys in a Lakewood. They are truly ehrlich and are amazing in their hasmadah.
But, in a yeshiva of 7,000, if 10% don’t belong there, that is still 700 guys who may have gone to some other yeshivos or started college/working, but instead felt they had to go to Lakewood to make everyone happy.
First of all, many guys who go to BMG are not serious learners. For them, it is just the default place to go to avoid having to chas v’shalom do some hishtadlus for parnassah.
Now, the list of other yeshivas for post-E”Y (offhand, and not exclusive):
R’ Asher Weiss (monsey)
Torah vodaas
Mir
Chaim Berlin
Chofetz Chaim (queens)
Zichron Aryeh
Novardok (drillman’s)
Zuckers – marine park
Lander’s
Ohr Hachaim
RIETS/YU
Rodkin’s
Fisher’s
Senter’s West/South Shore
Shor Yoshuv
Waterbury
Derech Chaim (boro park/Kensington area)
Rubenstein’s (Lakewood)
Ateret Torah (Sephardi)
Ner Yisrael
THERE YOU GO! I have just named 20 yeshivas other than Lakewood where guys go after E”Y, and there are plenty of guys in these places I would rather than some guys in Lakewood.
Community Service
Tutor other kids (high school or elementary school) in subjects; be a mentor
Volunteer or work for a nonprofit organization like Chai Lifeline, Ohel, HASC, Camp Simcha, etc…
Take AP exams. If your yeshiva doesn’t have them, sign up to take them in a school (public school, for example) that offers them
Form a yeshiva basketball team and include it in your resume (I’ve seen this before)
Debate team (you can give a chaburah and call it a debate, because there’s no way for a college/university to refute your claim unless they come to inspect the yeshiva)
Take computer certifications (there are a number of them through Microsoft)
I have the solution!!!!!
If the problem with the freezer is that the boys are entering the freezer at an advanced age, then how about having the boys in the freezer EARLIER?
This means that boys should be coming back from E”Y by 21 at the latest, so they will be able to date from Lakewood at age 21/22.
Why should my daughters suffer because boys feel the need to “discover themselves” for 5 years after high school? Let them go to Israel at 19 or 20 for a year or 2 at the most. Why should all these boys start dating at 23 when our 21 year old has been in the parsha for 2 years already!
Doughnut, not donut, is the better spelling.
When you are in a little town in Poland with no electricity or running water, fewer social interactions and obligations, and no non-Jews to deal with, it is easier to go back to shtetl life.
Today, it just doesn’t work the same way, for many reasons:
1) Earning a living today requires us to be involved in secular society. This, in turns, affects the yeshiva system.
2)Niskatnu Hadoros
3) Back in the old shtetl days, nobody had “secular” studies. If you were good at chopping wood, you became a woodcutter. If you had deft hands, you could be a tailor. If you were ambitious, you were a merchant. Today, you must know proper English in order to pass a driving test, serve in jury duty, register to vote, and a host of other things that are vital to today’s life.
4) There were no cars back then, which made it easier to and learn all day, because there was nothing else to do and no other place to go to.
And a host of other reasons.
Check the accreditation of the yeshiva in question, and then call up masters programs’ admissions offices and ask if they accept the degree, and/or if any prerequisites are required.
BTL = Bachelor’s in Talmudic Law (or Literature)
You can only enter after Sukkos Zman or Pesach Zman (not Elul). Those entering after sukkos are in the dating freezer until Tu B’shvat unless they submit the initials of the girl they are currently dating. For after Pesach, the freezer rule applies until Tisha B’av (I believe). If you violate the freezer rules, the Roshei Yeshiva won’t come to your wedding.
Wow jwashing, you seem to be very ambitious. Every other post you start deals with going to law school, med schools, careers, law firms, LSAT, etc…
I wish you the best of luck, hatzlacha, in everything!
I don’t know of all the big law firms, but I will say that work/family balance is probably very tough for young associates. I don’t believe you can be discriminated against for keeping Shabbos and Yom Tov, but you have to make up the work later to get those billable hours.
Also, unless you have pull, you would need to go to a top law school and get top grades to go to the biggest firms.
Some people aren’t so smart.
Ever meet those guys who know every random sports fact and statistic and who follow every game and know it inside and out?
Just change that to “ever meet those guys who know every random chazal and dvar torah who constantly learn torah and know it inside and out?”
You would be amazed at the mind’s ability to remember things.
1) Learn with a chavrusa
2) Dare to be unconventional: Artscroll, Online resources, iPhone apps
3) Tutor/learn with someone considerably younger – you will like a teacher and this will make you enjoy learning more
4) Listen to shiurim online or on the radio if you have ADHD
American seminaries are a few-hours-a-day experience.
Israeli seminaries are a full-time experience.
See the Da’as Zekaynim (found in a Mikra’os Gedolos), where he explains that Eisav was 13 when he started avodah zara, and Yaakov was 13 when he went off to the beis medrash. He says that Eisav rebelled for 2 years while Avraham Avinu was still alive.
He also brings down the Yerushalmi who asks this question and answers that from 13 to 15, Eisav rebelled privately/bi’tzinah, but at 15 started serving avodah zara openly/bi’farhesya. It seems to be unclear if Avraham’s death spurred Eisav, or if Eisav’s open rebellion spurred Avraham’s death.
WOW, YOU PEOPLE ARE WAY BEHIND THE TIMES!!!
How about Google Plus (Google+)??? That is much more like Facebook, and you will see regular BY girls on it, replete with photos!!!!
Girls: Would you rather marry a legitimate talmid chacham who was in college or working while still single, or a stumbler in BM who will learn in kollel for a few years before pursuing a parnassah?
Read the following sentence carefully…
“I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing
handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical
intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes
intercommunications incomprehensibleness”.
You will find that in this sentence the Nth word is N letters long.
See to believe.
I
do
not
know
where
family
doctors
acquired
illegibly
perplexing
handwriting
nevertheless
extraordinary
pharmaceutical
intellectuality
counterbalancing
indecipherability
transcendentalizes
intercommunications
incomprehensibleness
Waiting to hear this too…
Of course it wasn’t a segula! If Rav Ovadia ZT”L wasn’t in there, it’s just a regular pit.
It was just some young hockers goofing around. I apologize if I’m accusing falsely.
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Veltz: You are correct. Interest is the cost of borrowing or lending money. When you buy a bond, you are lending the issuing corporation/government/entity cash, and they pay you interest. So, if you invested in a 10-year, 1,000 bond with a 3% yield, or roughly $30/year interest, but then interest rates go up to 5%, your previously-purchased bonds go down in value, because now you could make $50/year in interest. Stocks are the best hedge against inflation, because when growing, they are better than bonds.
iHear: Put some money in bonds, but leave some money in the stock market, especially if you put it into some Vangaurd mutual funds.
Sounds like an MLM (multi-level marketing) scheme, also known as a pyramid scheme. This theory only makes sense if half of all people aren’t finding their bashert. Then, each couple can bring in the 50% who aren’t married yet. Of course, one could argue that the people being brought in would have been part of the original 50% that anyway would have found their zivug!!! Either way, I don’t see this catching on.
I recently heard in a shmooze from Rav Moshe Tuvia Lieff that the reason the Bas-Kol said “Bas Ploni liPloni”, and not “Plonis liPloni” or “Bas Ploni liBen Ploni”, is that for the girl, the family really does matter and seems to say something about her.