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How I kicked my CR addiction.
Goq-How about yours?
Coffee- How about the day I left N.Y.
BTGuy-“Hi BSD. lol Heroin relieves stress, too.”
And how.?
GumBall- Good luck- you’re doing the right thing.
There are short term benefits- it relieves stress.
BaalHabooze-Read the title:Yiddish words with no English translation
JK
to gloat and hold yourself higher.
geshmock!
gevaldig!
Kvell.
barrimin
google some articles on the benefits of exercise, choose the best one, and leave it by his teffilin with a note that says, Totty I love you very much, and I want you around for a very long time, please take on exercise instead of smoking, Love your bubbeluh.
Toi- “carrs book doesnt work.”
One guy said the book was so boring, he needed to smoke a whole pack while reading it.
GumBall-“Now that bussiness is so Stressfull for him he smokes.”
He wants to quit,(since he did quit once)The root of the problem is stress, so suggest regular exercise like a 30 minute a day run on the treadmill and some pushups. Exercise reduces stress and can make a person be more productive throughout the day. Then he won’t need the cig as much and will be able to quit. Good luck.
p.s. sorry for making light of your thread in my previous posts, I thought it was a theoretical question.
MindOverChatter- I thought that was only for aches and pains, not for lethargy. Do you know of anyone who was cured from CMV using Dr Sarno’s method?
Every friday night I have awful dreams and I wake up shabbos morning in an awful mood. Maybe the friday night chulent is causing nightmares. IDK.
Eat light meals. It doesn’t get rid of it, but cmv and heavy meals is a bad combo and can make you feel even more lethargic. Vigorous exercise may help-sweat it out. Stress management. Stress breaks down the immune system and leaves you vulnerable to all kinds of things.
I have about $2,000,000…
worth of debt.
I feel sorry for the person who steals my identity:(
“i was promised a cut after he collected it”
With a blunt knife?
If the posters vote unanimously that internet addiction is worse will you quit internetting and take up smoking?
If yes, which brand do you have in mind, something like Virginia Slims or are you more the Marlboro Reds type? Dunhill? Cigars? Pipes?
Would morah be ok with it?
Just wondering.
What’s better, an apple or an orange?
One has a ring.
There is a recurring theme here in which shadchanim (and I’m not referring to all the well meaning individuals that “keep everyone in mind” and avg 1 shidduch every 22.5 years) and older singles- at least those who post here-are pro this system , while the misnagdim are people on the outside who don’t have a clue of what these girls are going through. I apologies for being redundantly repetitive , but it’s very telling.
Dear
I can guess how you pulled off the anonymous sn,
but how did you eliminate the subtitle?
Yours truly,
Are you sure a black coffee is ok? I believe R Veiner speaks about it and is not ok with it. There are issues such as having the kailim in the dishwasher together with tarfus, and maybe other issues as well. Lo bussi elluh li’orer
DY. “I think a Lexus is overpriced, so I drive a Ford. But I’m not upset at Lexus.”
Great analogy except I would compare it to a Honda Accord. Lexus implies overindulgence while Honda represents respectability – as apposed to trying to do things yishivish in order to save money at the expense of being effective and accomplishing the objective.
oomis1105- “And Shadchanim whose main motivator is money, are NOT a solution.”
Why is everybody so hung up about the money aspect of the Nasi project, when that is not even the main thrust of their proposition. They are pushing closing the age gap as a permanent solution, and the money as a temporary solution- a band aid.
“I think the emotional onaa that this “project” is putting on financially strapped people,”
What about tuition? Should that be reduced too- or be free? Isn’t that putting a strain on struggling families? Health care? Cost of living?
This is a necessity like any other.
In case you haven’t noticed, the older single who post here don’t seem to mind-The people who are standing on the sidelines offer criticism but no viable solution.
Herring mit brunfin-shlivovitz!
aries-“The system itself has kept these boys from growing and maturing.”
Age gap has little bearing on this problem.
DaasYochid-“the yeshiva boys I know practice all of the things you’ve mentioned to a higher degree than the boys who are not in yeshiva. The Torah itself teaches these things, and in my experience, serious talmidim practice what they learn.”
To a big degree you are right, especially regarding serious bochurim, but not all bochurim are serious, and even for those who are, there is something about being out there and having to please bosses, customers etc, work hard, be limaasadick, that makes a person grow.
That being said, todays working environmr=ent is dangerous for an unanchored bochur. Torah im derech erets is not yet an option. Maybe schools should start sensitivity training from 9th grade-spend more time on mussar etc. and at 19 or 20 focus it more towards the mentchlachkeit aspects of marriage. Why do they have to wait until he is a chosson, and then give him a crash course on middos when he has 100 other things on his mind? Teach specifics on how to treat and understand a wife, in-laws, not to have an “es kimt mich” attitude regarding support etc.
apushatayid “If there is a “yes” from a girl, and he still drags his feet, he loses this chance and the shadchan will take the girl elsewhere.”
Which girl hasn’t heard the following:
“We heard such nice things about the family, but the boy is busy, so tell her not to wait, if he becomes available (and she makes it some where remotely near the top of his megila of names) we will get back to you.” This way he has no pressure despite that she gave a yes and he still hasn’t burned his bridge. Meanwhile she did exhausting research and invested emotion and now feels rejected. Supply and demand dictates that the ball is in his court.
I do agree that it may move her higher on his list knowing that she already said yes, but it certainly does not put him against the wall.
If this is going to change we need to do something radical. (and at the same time proceed with caution so it’s done right)
Doswin “So the question still remains, what’s new in the 21st century that makes this a new problem?”
You are making a false presumption. I know from speaking with elderly family members from that generation that there was a major issue in di heim as well.
“However I personally wouldn’t do it, my kidney is more worth than 150k.”
Put it on the auction block and see what you can get for it.
MiddlePath, aries-“They are NOT on the same intellectual level as girls their own age.”
True, and as aries pointed out this is a result of not having experienced the “real world”, however by 25 they will not be more mature then they were at 20 since they are still lacking the outside experience, and going out into the world and leaving koslei hayishiva is not an option either therefore they will simply have to get married and grow on the job.
DY- Thank you, that makes sense.
apushatayid
To the contrary- because the boys have a long list of names in their shidduch notebook,, the likelihood of a boy saying yes is much slimmer then that of a girl saying yes, so it makes sense to first see if the boy will agree to go out, before making the girl go crazy doing research just to have the boy reject her. The supply and demand equation is devastating for girls.
Ofcourse- “For example, if there are 500 older single girls and 300 older single guys (most of whom dont want to be limited to dating their age girls), the girls are stuck, any which way, whether they pay or not!!!”
True, however, if the 300 older guys marry 300 youger girls, than all 500 older girls are out of luck, whereas if they marry older girls, there’s 300 fewer older girls left behind.
Mazal Tov-may it be bisha’ah tova umitzlachas.
No internet in Wlmsbrg so don’t expect a response.;)
Gumball- what does your teacher say in current events?
And what are you still doing up? It’s way past your bed time.
I have some extra fat I’m willing to donate for a very good price. Any buyers?
But there is an age gap never the less, albeit a small one, so at the very least, it should be 50-50. How do you account for a disparity.
Thank you. Very inspirational.
Appropriate for tonight since we just said kiddush levana. Klal Yisroel is likened to the moon which waxes and wanes. Just as it reaches its smallest stage and looks as though it will disappear off the face of the earth, it is reborn with more strength and vigor then before.
Ki nafalti kamti-literally means despite falling I have gotten back up. according to one pirush it means because I fell- the hardships themselves were the caused for my rising and being strong.
The one question I have for Nasi is that while their reasoning is sound, and one cannot argue with a mathematical equation, why is it that in the chassishe velt, there are more boys then girls?
Firstly, wlcome back Daas Yochid- as always, your reasoning is presented clearly and logically (whether or not posters agree with you)
Just as a disclaimer, while I am very much pro the Nasi project, I do not represent or even know the people behind it.
chanie T. “Because people are not doing anything other then complain, which in of itself is untrue, as myriads of people are redting shidduchim on their own”
That is all good and well- however, it does not address the issue at hand because despite your good intentions we are dealing with an issue that is much larger than the solution you are proposing You are taking a problem of epic proportions and trying to solve it on a mom and pop scale.
More importantly, you are using a band aid rather than addressing the route cause of the issue. As I mentioned in a related thread:
The proportion of boys and girls born each year is close to even. (I believe it’e 51% girls and …well you figure out the rest)The problem lies in the fact that a boy will typically look for a girl that is 3 or 4 years his junior. Because of exponential population growth, this causes disparity in the boy to girl proportion.
To illustrate, in Lakewood there were approx 600 girls who graduated 8th grade. There were approx 1600 girls entering elementary schools. So even though there will be the same # of 18 year old girls as there are 18 year old boys, there will be alot more 18 year old girls then 22 year old boys. This reverse pyramid gets worse with each passing year.
So while I applaud you for doing yours, and halevei everybody would be so involved, what you are doing by “having single people in mind” it is not nearly as effective or as large an undertaking as what Nasi has taken upon themselves and I think we ought to commend them for that.
Der Geller- “I am referring to the rather inflammatory stance of Nasi which suggests that due to our choices until now we are somehow at fault for the current situation, that the marriages between older boys and younger girls WHICH HAVE ALREADY BEEN DONE are not what the Aibishter wanted, that we have done wrong in doing so.”
The aibashter created a world that runs by the laws of nature. Even nissim were combined with an attributable underlying natural cause so that we don’t lose our bechira (by krias yam suf it didn’t just split instantaneously-there was a ruach kdim aza kol halayla)
We are charged with the task of going about life according to those natural laws with the torah as our guideline- torah im derech eretz. So if something is not going well, we need to look for its natural cause and try to address it. We do cancer research for this reason rather then say this has already been done and is what the aibishtir wanted. Of course He wanted it, but he also wants us to do our utmost to address it which includes looking into ways we may be bringing it onto ourselves, rachmana nitzlan.
While I wouldn’t word it a strongly as Nasi did, because I think the current protocol of 22 yr old boy to 19 yr old girl is based on sound reasoning, never the less, as with any endeavor, we need to reassess our approach and tweak it as evident flaws in the system present themselves.
“financial aid” for him to purse?
Pun intended?
I love them “Yeah yeah yeah”
A homeowner in the former USSR puts a call in to the plumber to request an appointment to get his toilet fixed. The plumber says hold while he looks it up in his appointment book…
Plumber: ok I can be by you on a wednesday in 3 years 7 months and five days from now.
Customer: Will that be morning or evening?
Plumber: Why do you ask?
Customer: Because the electrician is coming in the morning.
A man is walking home along his regular route when he notices a little boy trying to ring a door bell. As much as he stretches his little body, he just can’t reach the bell. The man walks over and rings the bell for him. The little guy looks up to him and says “Thanks mister, now lets run”
A man walks into a hardware store and says “Do you have a mouse trap, please hurry because I have to catch a bus” “Sorry sir” he replied, we don’t carry ’em that big”
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a dish. After he is done eating, he calmly whips out a gun and shoots the place up. Bewildered, the waiter approaches him shakily and asks him, “What was that all about?” “I’m a panda bear, look it up in a dictionary” he replies casually as he strolls out the door. The waiter gets ahold of a dictionary and looks it up: Panda bear-eats shoots and leaves.
ItcheSrulik
Mazal Tov! I also had a partial yeshua in recent months that relieved tremendous stress. I still have a way to go but I am confident that bichasdei Hashem the yeshuos will continue to come. May you have many more yeshuos (and the wisdom to recognize the source)
Why is there no response to Lechayim120- Everybody seems to have conveniently skipped that one!
“do you realize that a 24year old who buys into Nasi’S SCOM WOU;LD BE GIVING UP 3-4 MONTHS RENT TO JUST GET A SHIDDUCH?”
“JUST” to get a shidduch?
How much “rent” would she be “giving up” to make a chasunah? or buy a chassan shas?