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What can you look forward to? Hours spent searching for a parking spot, avoiding drivers who don’t know what a red light is, crowded smelly streets, and overpriced housing.
147: I agree, I have clothing that I use only for Shabbos. I happen to have a shirt that I used during the week. It’s mostly white, with a colored stripe on it. I also happen to have a tie that matches it perfectly. My wife asked me to wear it on Shabbos, as she felt it would be very nice.
Before I did so, I took the other two shirts I have which are similar, and took them out of my rotation of shirts that I use during the week. Then I started using the one shirt for Shabbos. I won’t wear a similar shirt during the week.
They need to pay for that mechitza somehow…
When I was in yeshiva, there was a guy who used to walk around singing the tune from Am Yisrael Chai with the words “I’m geshmak and fest”:
I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak and fest!
Here’s a good discussion on the issue (if the mods will allow it through):
http://www.chaburas.org/zimun3.html
It brings many opinions, most of which state that woman can make a zimun for themselves. There are even opinions (which we don’t pasken like) that a woman can lead a zimun with men in it (the Ritvah says this).
It seems the accepted practice is that woman can make a zimun if there are no men there, but they are not obligated to do so. Even if there are 10 women, they don’t say elokeinu in the zimun, as that is a dovor shebikdusha.
I also get a stomach ache drinking low alcohol wines such as Rashi or Kedem. Instead of those, try drinking a drier wine, or one that is more naturally sweet, with a higher alcohol content. If I drink those, I don’t get a stomach ache.
I don’t know why, it just works out that way.
I got this for a relative:
It’s a clock with birchas habayis printed on it. With shipping it’s $41.
student, maybe it’s the advanced class at the Satmar school?
This is from Bet Shemesh:
Please hide from me, because I know what’s really there, everywhere
Please, I don’t want to see you, so please hide from me
It’s been so long since I’ve been able to smile
Please hide from me, I can’t be tempted to touch your hand, understand,
My life is better without knowing you, please hide from me
I can’t be tempted, it’s worse than ever now
Two inches seen, is a millions things done wrong,
Don’t show me things, I should never know
Chorus:
Hide your disgrace, or I’ll spit in your face
won’t you please go back to your hiding place
Lock yourself away, don’t see the light of day
Or I’ll throw rocks in your way, to keep you at bay
Please hide from me,
It seems you’re showing more and more each day, why, I pray,
I can’t stop looking, so please keep hiding,
I can’t do this alone, I’m asking you, please stay in your home
The first Pesach after I got married, I was told that my wife’s family eats gebrokts, and not only that, they wouldn’t be accommodating to me and my non-gebrokts background. I asked a Rav what to do, and he told me to change my minhag. I asked if I needed to do hataras nedarim and he said no.
No, don’t start Shabbos according to R’ Tam’s zman. Start 18 minutes before sunset like everyone else.
As for ending Shabbos, do it whatever time you want.
As for Mincha, you should daven before sunset.
Zmanim for tzeis can be tricky. They are not the same all over the world. In Israel, for example, tzeis comes very quickly after shkia. R’ Tam’s zman was based on where he lived, in France.
R’ Moshe Feinstin zt”l once decided to see when tzeis should be in the Eastern US. He determined that it is 50 minutes after shkia. I keep Shabbos until that zman, as it is the most accurate for our area.
I’m going to my wife’s family for the first days, then my family for the second days. Are they great places? I don’t know how much you’d enjoy being there, so I really can’t say for sure. I know that I like it.
I once asked this shailah. I was told that if it’s a pill for when you’re healthy, it’s better to avoid it.
If you’re sick and the pill comes in different forms (regular pill, capsule, chewable, etc.) you should get the one that isn’t treif. If it only comes in one form, there is definitely no problem, and it would be assur to avoid the medicine because of kashrus.
All the big scandals come from the more “frum” hashgochos. The Monsey thing a few years ago, the store in Brooklyn, they all had the hechsherim that were “better”.
gefen: It’s a machlokes if someone can cause another person to die before his time through his own bechirah. There are many opinions that hold he can do so. This means that even if on Rosh Hashanah a person was written in to live the entire year, he can be killed anyway.
Only chassidim had separate seating in Europe. When R’ Moshe Feinstein married off his children, there was mixed seating. At yeshiva dinners, there was mixed seating. Separate seating probably became mainstream when a Rosh Yeshiva reached for a second piece of cake, and his wife scolded him for it.
There’s a story with the Chofetz Chaim written by R’ Pam about when R’ Meir Shapiro was traveling by Radin. He wanted to eat by the Chofetz Chaim, and asked for there to be separate seating. The Chofetz Chaim refused.
nishtdayngesheft: All I see is some anonymous blog quoting an anonymous teacher. Sorry, that doesn’t cut it.
ratzon: I can relate to it, because I went through a similar thing. I was told “Our way or the highway”. I couldn’t live “their way”. I decided, if I’m going to hell, I might as well enjoy it. I wasn’t frum for a while. Thankfully, after a while, I realized they were wrong, and that I could be a good, frum Jew without being chareidi. I hope and pray that she realizes the same. I must point out that while I had many difficult times, it wasn’t close to what she went through. I wasn’t molested, I wasn’t forced into a marriage, etc.
Guter yid: I’m not singing a poor girl song. I was presented with a lie (about her knowledge or lack thereof before her wedding), and presented a question on it. I’m still waiting for an answer.
ratzon: Had she been taught that you can go to college, become Modern Orthodox (or some other group of frum Judaism) and still be considered a good, frum Jew, that might have happened. However, in Satmar areas, that is not the case. They are not taught that other ways of Judaism are just as correct as theirs.
I know that this post will cause a firestorm, but I stand by it. I was even talking to my brother last week (who learns in BMG) about this, and he brought it up – he said, “If she was only raised in any other group, she’d have been fine. Satmar teach that their way is the only way, and all others are doing it wrong!”
I also want to point out that I’m not positively impressed by her. I think the book is a huge chillul Hashem. I just don’t think it right to make false accusations, even against her.
nishtdayngesheft: I’m still waiting for an answer to this:
I haven’t read the book yet, but I’ll trust you that she wrote that she knew nothing before her wedding. Where did her teachers say these things? I’d like to see it for myself.
For all those who said I didn’t pay attention, can you please provide a source? If you’re accusing her of lying, I’d like to see where accusations are.
Naisberg, you say there is no evidence to her claims, but do you have evidence to your claims of “adultery, immorality, public immodesty, and violating every tenet of our faith”?
nishtdayngesheft: I haven’t read the book yet, but I’ll trust you that she wrote that she knew nothing before her wedding. Where did her teachers say these things? I’d like to see it for myself.
Did anyone actually read anything about the case? The reason she left is because she was fed up with the community. Her husband was abusive, she even had a restraining order against him, but she couldn’t get a divorce. Her parents pushed against it, the Rabbis pushed against it, nobody would help her get away from her abusive husband. That’s why she left.
I keep asking for a clear, concise list. Instead of a list, all I get is more hatred spewed a me. Can someone please put together a clear, concise list? Is it really all that much to ask? If someone ca prove she’s a liar, I’ll accept it, but I’m still waiting on proof!
Naisberg: So please combine them in a clear post, without spewing anything else along with it which just makes it tough to read. Here’s how it should look:
*Lie 1
*Lie 2
*Lie 3
Would that be so difficult?
BTGuy: You’re right. Nobody should wear boots. Especially when it’s snowing. God forbid your feet should stay dry! And leather jackets? Oh no! Wearing a leather jacket is one step closer to being in a motorcycle gang! Never mind that they’re warm, can last a very long time, and are very comfortable.
I am not trying to defend her. I think the book is a huge chillul Hashem. However, I still won’t make things up just to bash it. If you want to bash it, say it’s a chillul Hashem. You won’t get an argument from me there. Saying that the whole thing is a fabrication, and she made everything up, is wrong. Just say it’s a chillul Hashem, and leave it at that.
I looked at the website. Here are some of the things they harp on:
She said 50 feet when really it’s less, more like 15 feet. Is that seriously what you’re going against? Misjudging distance?
Then she says feet stomping on stone. What’s the problem with that? That the floor isn’t stone? Oh no, the entire story must be false!
You know the old story about the Rav giving a drasha? He says, “So many people here take the train every morning. Let’s say one day you’re trying to make the 7:14 train, but you’re running late.”
He goes on to compare the train to teshuva, and running, while the train is waiting, etc. A very nice drasha. At the end, one man comes up to him and says, “Rabbi, your speech was completely wrong. The train doesn’t come at 7:14. There’s a 7:08 and a 7:23, but no 7:14 train!”
The guy obviously completely missed the point, and is discounting everything on a stupidity. They are doing the same thing.
Guter Yid, you mentioned the same thing as everyone else, the murder cover up. I’ve responded to that already. Got anything else?
ZeesKite: We believe that EVERYONE can do teshuva. Who are you to say that she’s beyond that point? Are you God to know that someone can’t repent?
Health: Again, instead of just spewing hatred, please list some of the lies she wrote about – and not the same old thing about the possible murder cover-up.
JaneDoe18: No, intimacy between a husband and wife is not ultimately to have children. Many meforshim state this. It is one goal, yes, but it’s not the main purpose. If it was, then when a woman was unable to have children anymore due to age, the husband should divorce her and marry someone young.
I’ve heard from a few Rabbonim that the way some groups view intimacy is wrong. The Rambam writes about what it should be, and many groups go completely against the Rambam.
Naisberg, as was stated before, she never said there was definitely a murder. She said her husband told her that he’d heard from someone else that there was. How do you know that never happened? She presented it as two levels of hearsay. That’s not a lie.
In a clear, legible manner, can you please list the lies in the book? All I’ve seen is a bunch of hate, ignoring facts.
Naisberg: Honestly, I know absolutely nothing about what is written in Mein Kampf. I know it was written by Hitler, and I have absolutely no interest in reading it. I wouldn’t know how to classify it.
BaalHabooze: Didn’t Kohanim have a maximum age where they could do the avodah? I think I once once learned that it’s 50 (except the Kohen Gadol). Any idea?
Other mishugasim: separate seating at weddings, dinners, and other affairs.
yichusdik: I haven’t read the book yet, but from what I’ve heard, she never said it absolutely happened. She said her husband told her that he’d heard it through the grapevine. So it may be hearsay, but she does present it as such. Again, I don’t know what happened, nor do I really care. My point is that the evidence against her was not really good at all.
As for the book being “deeply flawed”, almost every review I’ve read actually says the book is very well written, and very engrossing. You may not like what it says, but don’t knock the writing because of the content.
I was taught the following in yeshiva:
The difference between emunah and bitachon is as follows: emunah is that you believe in a specific thing that you want to believe in. For example, if I buy a lotto ticket and really believe that Hashem will make me win, that is emunah. I think this is what will happen, and really believe in it.
Bitachon is belief that even if I don’t win, that is what was best for me – I’m better off not having won!
For the airplane example, I see it like this. If you thought a plane would crash, would you get on it? If you really believe it won’t crash, that’s emunah. If you say it doesn’t matter, because Hashem will do whatever is best for me, and if it crashes, that’s a good thing for me, then that’s bitachon.
ZeesKite: Oprah visited Chabad. With all the things people have against them, one thing they have for them is that they are very friendly to everyone. Do you really believe that if Oprah went to Williamsburg or KJ to visit Satmar that she’d get as warm of a welcome?
Doswin: I clearly stated I DON’T believe it. I said I don’t know what to believe. There are definitely cover-ups, and who knows what they do? All I said is that the “evidence” presented by the Jewish Week was not very good. It went like this:
Accusation: There was a cover-up of a murder. People lied to the police, and the murder was never discovered.
Investigation: We spoke to the police, and the official paperwork says it was a suicide. Therefore the accusation was wrong.
It doesn’t make sense – the accusation was that the paperwork was wrong! Using the paperwork as “evidence” does not refute anything.
Like I said, I’m not saying one is true and one is not. I don’t know which is right and which is wrong. I’m just pointing out that this “investigation” was not very good, and the “evidence” is not very good. That doesn’t mean what was written in the book was correct. It just means the refutation wasn’t.
I’m definitely NOT anti-frum. I just don’t like when people reach for things so they will fit what they want to hear and believe. That’s what’s going on here. People are so eager to condemn this author that they will jump on “evidence” like this, even when it clearly makes no sense.
Basically the murder story was actually reported as a suicide on the official reports. That’s all that really came out of the “story” on it.
In reality, her story of a cover-up was not disproved at all. What did you expect? That if it was covered up, they’d report the truth to some reporter?
Please note that I’m not saying she is right. I honestly don’t know what happened, nor do I really care. I’m just saying that there is no proof either way.
I don’t think anyone follows #2. Nobody views it as Malchus. Do I look at it like Peru? No, because Peru has no kedusha to it. Israel is a holy land, and historically the land of the Jews. Do I believe we have a divine right to have it now? No, that will come with Mashiach. That doesn’t mean we can’t have it now as long as it was done properly, without fighting – which it was, through diplomacy.
As for it being founded on kefirah, true, many of the people who founded it were not frum. So what? The fact is that Torah Judaism is flourishing there in a way it hasn’t probably since the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed. Do you honestly think that if Turkey was running it things would be better? When lands were turned over to Palestinians, with assurances that holy sites would be preserved, look what happened! Nothing was preserved. Kever Yosef was ransacked and destroyed.
The founding is irrelevant. The state was founded, and that won’t change. Look at the positive, not the negative.
I’ll have her in mind when I say hashiveinu.
Doswin (and other saying the same thing): I’ll have you in mind by Refaeinu.
Toi: Birthright has a policy that you must stay with the group. It had nothing to do with the influence they might have had. They wouldn’t let him visit non-observant relatives either. When I went on Birthright, my family (chareidim) were able to come to the hotel in the evening to visit me.
On Motzei Shabbos, yes, they did take some of the group to a bar. For those who didn’t want to go to a bar, they had other options.