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Did you go to Jewishgen.org? The website has a lot of information about the various shtetlach, including “yiskor booklets” on many of the shtetls. I downloaded an amazing biography of the town my Bubby was born in.
It seems true that the times we have the most kavana is when we are davening from serious tzures. So maybe when we struggle with kavana we just haven’t personalized the davening so that it is meaningful. Maybe translating the words of tefilla into personal experience would help.
We take so much for granted. If we could slow down the pace and realize what a nes it is to open ones eyes in the morning- imagine if you couldn’t; sit up–imagine if you couldn’t; find yourself in a sheltered place safe from imminent danger–imagine if you weren’t; etc. then maybe we could learn to enjoy the apple as well.
If you live that far from a major Kosher grocery, there is probably a Chabad serving your area. Call them and ask your question.
Many reasons why a boy might be wearing a non-white shirt. You need to find out each person’s own reason for it and go from there; dangerous to generalize.
Yeah, I think it’s more about violating your own standards and that he “beat” you. Hashem gives us opportunities to correct our flaws.
The Mormons have kept an extensive library of Jewish geneology. I think it’s at a museum called the Museum of Family History in Salt Lake City.
I thought the most telling part of her question was that she said he gets upset at her when she does wake him up and try to get him to get out. If he was oversleeping by mistake he would be happy she was waking him. I agree that they missed the boat by not addressing the possibility that he doesn’t want to learn.
His stated purpose was to discuss the radicalization of the Muslim American community—that is, how international terrorists recruit from among otherwise non-radical Muslims who are American citizens. Most of the hearing was absurd, as the highest priority seemed to be not to step on anyone’s toes and hurt anyone’s feelings. They really never got to a productive debate because of that. However, there was one testimony by a Muslim American representing a Muslim democracy group, who seemed to be speaking decently and knowledgeably and with first hand experience about how the terrorist groups collect supporters in America. And the other testimony from a Somalian was similarly intelligent. Most of the rest was a meeting about why they shouldn’t have this meeting.
there’s a frum blog called imamother where you are sure to find a few threads on this topic
Basic Colors brings a truckload to Passaic & KGH frequently, probably other locations too. His ad says he has a store in Brooklyn 1362 Coney Island Ave.
Roll to your side and use a cane to help you into a sitting position. Then use the cane to divert the pressure from your legs while standing up. Some people have to get over the shock that they might have to use a cane when they are young, but it works. You can buy one at most larger pharmacies.
Apart from private listening, people often listen to music in groups, in public. What type of place will you go if you want to listen to non-Jewish music in a group? The answers to that question are usually not any place a frum person belongs.
2 things I find scary about being “over 40”—today noone memorizes phone numbers anymore. Who needs to , they are all in the phone memory!! But what happens if you need a phone number in an emergency and your phone isn’t accessible? Same for GPS. Today noone needs to use a map, your GPS tells you where to go. But what if the GPS suddenly is not functioning and you never learned how to read a map?
The days when the majority of moms believed that having a baby meant raising a child all day, not farming them out asap and returning to work!!!
Cute memories of the metal milkboxes & phone number names (ours was Edgewood)–also remember playing games in the street daily with all the kids on the block–, what about the guy in the truck who came around to sharpen knives?
We had birds who ate a varied diet except on Pesach when they had to eat millet only.
What do dogs eat on Pesach?
If you feel like you have a chronic problem of being unable to stop eating, find an OA group near you–they have a website that lists all the meetings and you will be surprised how easy it is to find a frum group.
One problem is that mental health fields became a very popular career choice so now we have way too many “profesesionals” who need work. So there has to be a lot more diagnoses and patients in order for all of them to have parnassa.
Sometimes it helps to ease off the medication by extending the time between dosages, bit by bit until you are actually eliminating some dosages. That way you can do it according to how much pain can be tolerated.
If you are not an adult and this is one of those situations where you feel uneasy because the “secret” is something very serious and could be very damaging to your friend, and it feels over your head to deal with, it’s best to speak to an adult, either your parent or Rabbi, or a teacher you can confide in.
What’s the options? To have moderators make a separate chat for men and women, then rely on the honor system?
One other point on the topic of chesed, we have set up a roadblock with our current methods of trying to attract kids to do chesed. Whenever there is an attempt to get kids involved the biggest draw is……THE PRIZES!!!! So the kids relate more to the prizes than the chesed itself.
Pointing the discussion toward filling in the empty hours, especially with chesed projects, seems the most productive direction. I agree with the poster who mentioned the more modern kids taking on group chesed projects in their communities, and I don’t see it at all in the yeshiva communities. I have seen children from secular or non-Jewish schools put on beautiful programs for a local Jewish nursing home, which gave the residents great pleasure and (at least temporary) relief from their tzures. Nothing comparable from the local yeshiva. In fact, when a yeshiva came in to do a program, it was short and poorly directed and the residents could barely understand what was being presented. One got the feeling the kavana was not on the chesed, but instead on the zechus. There was also a strong pen-pal program going on between the secular school and the residents of this nursing home, which, again, gave the residents much pleasure. Nothing from the yeshivas. I do think kids would join and be enthusiastic about group chesed if led by serious adults whose first concern was the needs of the recipients. This also helps build maturity and self-esteem (more than sessions in the therapists chair), and develops middos of rachmanus.
Toomuch00: Don’t panic. You are not the 1st and won’t be the last to be in this situation. Hopefully you will find a productive way to spend the summer. But even if it is not what you wanted or hoped, it’s not the end of the world. You can get through the summer. Next year will probably be better.
rikki, good for you that you are trying to find someone to help; not everyone who wants to help, though, will actually have the experience and skill…..hopefully you will find a good match.
Just one point, it sounds like your brother is in a somewhat angry phase—it may be that if he can get a job to support himself and move into an independent living arrangement, the hostility will soften and it will be possible to communicate again. I know it’s painful, but while he is living in your home he may just need space, but try to avoid giving him negative messages. Also I sense your desire to maintain privacy when it comes to your school life. I hear and understand this, but it may be a relief to you if you can find one trustworthy friend to confide in, someone who will respect your privacy and not be judgemental.
People have to be careful about the photographer they hire. There are a lot of photographers advertising that they handle frum simchas, but during the photography they try to arrange poses that are not appropriate. Of course it is up to those who are posing to refuse, but in the moment being photographed and caught offguard it may slip by. The advertisements should say whether the photographers will adhere strictly to tznius guidelines while shooting the photos.
All the therapies are flooded, hence the need for newer and more numerous diagnoses!!
Jeans styles are more vulnerable to the fashion industry than other more traditional types of pants, and so in jeans you may see the washed out look, fringed bottoms, low waists, even some that are sold with outright holes in the legs in the name of fashion!!!!
Might be worthwhile to have a session with a geriatric social worker just to review the options. Also, I don’t know your circumstances but a lawyer with geriatric specialty can sometimes help in petitioning the state for financial aid.
Overall it’s probably not a good idea. Even in very young children the idea is planted that there is an alternative lifestyle and if the girl becomes close to them all the more problematic as they remember her later. On the other hand, you can look at variables such as the strength or vulnerability of your children to outside temptation, and how cooperative she would be in avoiding inappropriate behavior around your children, then, daven for the best outcome. Chabad is the only group I have seen who can do this successfully, and I really don’t fully understand how they do it.
Guard my toungue: not so. the fact is that the parameters of high risk are very different for in hospital vs. at home with midwife. That is, what may be considered high risk in an OB hospital birth (for example, age of mother, “overdue”, etc) is considered within the realm of normal by experienced midwives.
kol hakavod to coffeeadict and frumladygit for attempting to bring some light to this subject. I am also a homebirth mom, more than once, and would never opt for a hospital birth again if I had a choice. I also have tremendous respect for the midwives I have worked with, both for their extensive knowledge and compassion. One thing you are not mentioning here, though, is the fact that the OBs have women convinced that it would be irresponsible, endangering their baby etc. if they choose to follow the natural routes. As a result, women are very afraid of their births and only feel secure when putting themselves in the doctors’ hands. This is a very difficult barrier to educating women about homebirth, and addressing the massive ignorance. It reminds me of the chiropractic arena. For many years chiropractors were denigrated by traditional doctors, and the public was warned against using them, for fear of the harm that could be done. As more patients began using them anyway when traditional medicine did not heal; chiropractors gained recognition, and are now even covered by most insurance policies. But the medical community is a defensive bunch, they don’t want anyone telling them there is an alternative.
And BTW, when I last had a home birth I learned that my midwives had a very active practice in the chassidish community.
Have you spent a Shabbos or two in the communities you are considering? That’s usually a good way to get a feel for the population, shuls, etc.
Are you willing to travel to Manhattan? That will open up more opportunities. Try the NCYI Job Board (e-mail group) they post a lot of IT jobs. Also the OU job board website has a lot of IT jobs. Also, epinetworking is a frum org. in Manhattan that helps people find jobs, we have had good success with them. They have a website, epinetworking.org.
Parents who: leave young kids to babysit younger kids
ignore their kids’ running noses
My husband had a torn meniscus and was in much pain and difficulty walking. Fortunately we have an orthopedist who wasn’t in a hurry to operate, although he did give the option. He gave my husband a daily exercise regimen, which was followed perfectly. After about a month there was a noticeable improvement. Today, 2 years later, he is walking pain-free, jogging, skating, etc. without fear, and without surgery.
Put a vaporizer in the room while he sleeps
I usually don’t flip my latkes in the air. I try to keep them low in the pan so the oil doesn’t splatter.
Clever: There are some advertisements around for help with internet addiction (I’m assuming your problem developed with the assistance of the internet)–you probably should speak to someone with a specialty in dealing with this kind of thing. I would venture to say this is much more prevalent than anyone is letting on yet. Maybe the next big bombshell in the frum world, now that everyone seems to be on the web.
Can you try to arrange an aerobics class in your neighborhood? The girls can exercise and dance to Jewish music with an instructor. In my area it is pay per class, no commitment. The girls love it, but by us it is a little younger age, not teens yet.
I don’t have 1st hand information, but heard from a girl who graduated from Shevach several years ago that she has good memories of her high school education.
Modern Rabbis may not personaly subscribe to the lifestyles of their followers, but neither do they strongly try to influence them otherwise. And that is because there is an erosion of respect for daas Torah among modern Jews. Not to say this may not exist in other sectors, but it is not as visible.
By the time a child is reading on a 3rd or 4th grade level, it is difficult for a parent to know what is in the library books they will take out (fiction especially). I have checked over and allowed books my child wanted to borrow while at the library, only to find when we were home that I missed pages that were very objectionable.
Join Overeaters Anonymous. There are meetings in msot large communities that are well attended by frum people. And many are very successful in losing the weight and keeping it off.
One more: BP Totty: Weren’t we instructed to use gold in the building of the mishkan? How then is mining only from consumerism?
And another character in this saga who stood out was the mining minister Golborne. Here was a successful CEO of a grocery chain, who was given the position last March by a president who wanted businessmen to run the government, not politicians. Golborne shed his suit & tie, and became family with the miners. Story after story poured out about how until the rescue he stayed in the camp with the remaining families 24/7, comforting them, crying with them, even playing guitar and singing with them at night to help them cope,; at the same time operating at the helm of an amazingly efficient rescue operation. What struck me was the kind of leadership that did not hold himself apart and above, seeking honor for himself. So many messages here for Klal Yisroel…..
Kapusta: Beautiful!! I hadn’t thought of that angle. I was thinking, though, about the “achdus” that this mining community seems to have with one another, I don’t think it could have been put on so seamlessly for the cameras, (or voters, or whatever) for 22 hours–they truly seemed deeply connected to one another and for the most part, respectful and caring toward one another. Also, the Jew who right away gave them all a large sum of money–he is described in such a way that makes me think he might not find acceptance in many of our communities. And yet there Hashem placed him where he was able to do this tremendous chesed that echoed around the world. I wonder how Hashem measures his zechus–by his compassion for his fellow or by the eccentric lifestyle he has?
WellInformedYid hit the nail on the head. All of these reasons for allowing kids to use internet are logical and reasonable. But they don’t take into consideration the other side of the scale–that just one wrong move to a bad website can draw a kid into a dark world that will be very hard to extricate from.
Also can’t help wondering why does Hashem cause us to have to go into the depths of the earth, an environment so unnatural to us, in order to retrieve metals?
I also followed this story closely, intrigued on many levels by Hashem’s ways. The marvel of how the men arose in such good condition is largely due to the hishtadlus (and Hashem’s nod)that the government, particularly the minister of mining, did in order to sustain them physically and mentally from the time they were discovered and contacted on August 17 until yesterday, when the capsule and tunnel were finally both ready for use.
I also kept looking for the message to Jews, there always is in events like this. Not sure I have it yet, but there is at least one Jew who figures prominently in this story—the Chilean philanthropist and mine owner Farkas who gave $10k to each of the 33 families after the accident, and told them he would raise a lot more money for them (I don’t know if he owned the mine where the accident was).