kollol_wife– i found that very disturbing as well. it has only two letters transposed,and i had to do a double take, as he is very chashuv in his own right. also the posts are odd.

though i’m almost never on, i’ve been checking this thread daily to see what the deal with that is. i though maybe its an “insiders’ joke”, but seeing as how no one answered him, maybe not.

just to clarify… R’ Ovadia writes that if he sees she has yiras shamayim in other areas, he does not have to break off the engagement.

covering with a hat/scarf is a beautiful thing, and according to many is an ideal – the woman is sacrificing for Hashem. personally, i’ve been married for five yrs. both sides of the family are all “wiggers” but i wear a hat. i find that if you feel comfortable, pretty, and confident about it, it ceases to be an issue. for a lady to daily be uncomfortable with her appearance is not healthy, and she wont be happy.

R’ Ovadia does write that a lady who works and can’t wear a hat can wear a hat-fall.

good luck!

i think any job (done right) uses brain power and is fulfilling too. not every job is necessarilly intellectual, but almost any job requires people skills, or interpersonal skills, or at least organizational skills.

while its of course necessary to perserve culture and heritage, that cannot be the only consideration. my parents escaped camel-back from iran when my mother was expecting me and my brother was two. they went through a hellish escape through the arabic deserts and through pakistan with basically no food. my husband left his family and came to america alone at age 16 to go to yeshiva. and yet, despite the fact that my husband learns in a sephardic kollel and teaches in a sephardic shul, and despite the fact that i teach in the top sephardic yeshiva, we have decided to send our sons to an ashkenazic yeshiva. having both gone through the ashkenazic system, and observing both communities from up close, we choose the more “lumdish” “yeshivish” sheltered lifestyle for our kids. and we don’t see it as giving up the heritage. i see it as continuing the heritage of “above all, sacrifice for Torah.”

is it true that a woman halachically needs her father/husband’s reshus to drink an alcoholic drink in public? vague recollection of learning something like that in high school…

great place to buy opi for 5.50 and essie for 4.50 E 18th btwn kings highway and quentin, beauty supply store

why does it have to be an extreme: either burkas/chadors and jokes about gravesites, or tight dress/flashy-makeup-and/or-hair? for those who are just not aruging the point philosophically, why not accept that this is the way we do things and it would be strange for the kallah’s mother not to show up in a gown, etc, and just decide to take the mussar and choose a gown and makeup for our next simcha with more care? why the extreme sarcasm? sounds like defensiveness…

yeah, okay, sure, everyone should have sources. but that does include you. i’m cracking up at the sheer nerve you have to cite as fact you’re “logical” opinion on after death matters (which to me sound strangely unjewish to say at least) as fact, and to declare that you’re not even gonna look into it, as long as no one can prove you wrong. 😀 life must be simple for you.

shmuel294: there is a big difference btw derech eretz/common courtesy and bein adam lachavairo not bec its nice and makes sense but as a mitzvah. just being nice without yiras shamayim can lead to tradgedy such as animal activists who declare “animals are ppl too” and yes they do violence to PEOPLE because bears are the new humans. o! Dont forget trees are ppl too according to them *smirk* gotta have G-D aspect.

wolf: lol. why should i show a source for questioning your post? i think looking through tanach its clear that there is a an inyan that place of burial is important (even in terms of rising for techias hamaisim). its not random or convenience-the avos made a big deal about place of burial and being buried with their spouses. (Yaakov and all the shevatim brought to eretz yisrael, yaakov explains to yosef why he did not move rachel, the buying of me’aras hamachpaila, eisav’s fight for it…). i’m really wondering how you can just brush it off unless you have some kind of source. as for a source for what is commonly excepted (NOT what you are saying…gotta ask my husband to look into that and will post later

it bugs me when people think kids and young adults are around to serve adults. no one wants to watch someone else’s kids, esp after school and home obligations. even if they are getting paid. it is a big favor. you can’t compare the “alter hime” to life now days and decided to criticize other frum yidden (even if they are teenagers.) — unless you were advised to do so by a rav?

ummm. with all due respect i don’t think this is the kind of question that you’re meant to apply your “reasoning” to. is there a source for what you are saying? because i don’t think that according to jewish belief all that much is terminated by death (being that we believe the neshama lives after the body’s death), except insofaras the spouse who remains can remarry. but its definitely a kabbalistically important matter who a person is buried by. Chazal say Rochel Imeinu lost the privelage of being buried next to Yaakov to Leah due to her actions.

i actually heard once this arguement in context of lashon hara. yes it is muttar to speak about a goy, but it will make you into the type of person that will be bitter and will speak about others at the end.

in my out-of-town high school years ago this was a hot issue. i remember most teachers saying not to say to men, but that our one rebbe, who taught halacha/hashkafa, saying its a mitzva so of course u can and should do it in a tznius way. of course the “in a tznius” way is emphasized.