longarekel, you definitely have a point. Alot easier said than done. Your allowed to cry out to Hashem with a broken heart, but not live broken hearted. There is a big difference. I wasn’t only writing about tears of sadness, I wrote about tears of happiness as well. There is so much to be thankful for, and everything you have is exactly what Hashem KNOWS you need at that very moment. At the same time, you still need to daven for things and do hishtadlus. I am sorry if what I wrote gave the impression of crying all the time, it wasn’t my intentions.

Shticky Guy- Emes!!!!! You said that so beautifully!! I agree 100%.

Sam2- Thank you very much for the apology. I would be more than happy to discuss it at another time when my thoughts are clear. Bracha V’Hatzlacha.

Wolf, yes I would have wanted you in the group. I would have asked if you could be included in the group of 40 women. In the end, I didnt get 40 because it was all very last minute, but thank you for the offer.

Wolf, Im sorry for not answering. I am not sure if men are included in it. I know the mitzvah of challah is for women, but a mitzvah is a mitzvah. I dont think that men davka cant do it. Ill ask my Rav and find out.

This is something I wrote yesterday after his Levaya. I hope other people can gain from it, and have it be an aliyah for his neshama..

My Uncle, Pesach ben Leibig Zalman, (may his neshama have an aliyah) was a Tzadik. I want to share one thing that he taught his children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. He taught that a family is a chain, connecting one link to another- a strong chain. But sometimes, one link is broken or weak and it needs the other links to give it strength. Sometimes one person in a family, a sister, brother, mother- is broken and needs the other links, their family, to help them get their strength again. This is what he taught, and this is what he lived every single day of his life. My mother added something to this today. When you walk into a shiva home, (Hashem should have rachmanus on us and bring the geula soon so that we never have to again) who do you see on the floor? The chain… the individual links of the family holding on to one another, forming that strong chain. When one person breaks, the other link gives him strength and comfort.

This is how it is for all of Klal Yisrael. We are all links making up one strong unbreakable chain. Why is that chain unbreakable? Because if one chain weakens, another will help build it up again. The chain can never be destroyed, because we work together giving strength in times of need. We share a little piece of ourselves, we give a little piece of our strength to another yid, that yid passes the new acquired strength to another, and it goes on and on. I relate this idea to a havdalah candle. A havdala candle has many wicks, that form into one. You can never loose that flame because if one wick goes out, it can be lit by another. A flame is like a neshama. A neshama can never die out. A neshama is always burning. When a neshama is weak, another will re ignite the flame, to help it burn bright and strong. That flame ignites another and another, and the “chain” goes on and on. Even when that flame, that neshama, is no longer clothed in a guf, a body, it is still burning, still giving strength, and will never die out. Take advantage of being a part of Klal Yisrael, and be that piece of wick, that one link, that will keep us strong and burning together. *This lesson is in the zechus of my Uncle, Pesach ben Leibig Zalman, may his neshama should rise straight to the kisei hakavod, and all of us should be reunited with our loved ones who returned their neshamos to the Ribono Shel Olam, dancing our way to the Beis Hamikdash, together, united with the greatest simcha, b’mehaira b’yameinu amen.

WIY- I have to say something. Usually, I let things go very easily. But as I read your post after my uncles levayah today, it mamesh made me nauseous. I posted on the CR for the support, and for extra tefillos, because thats what I thought it was all about. To join together Klal Yisrael, to answer questions, to get advice, and to ask for help and tefillos when needed chas vshalom.

I would go through everything you said and show you how you were so wrong in so many ways, but I dont have the emotinal energy for that, and I am going to be dan lkaf zechus and hope that you didnt realize what the situation was, and that you just needed to open your eyes a little bit.

Every person in my family took something on in his zechus. Every person was doing something that would give Hashem nachas. It is not a matter of, “Do segulas work?”

When you have a relative so so sick, you do ANYTHING you can, as a mere creation of the Ribono Shel Olam, to try to make some kind of different. Do you know the beauty of the mitzvah of hafrashas challah? Do you know that when you make a hafrashas challah, it is a time of eis ratzon for bakashos? I dont know where 40 comes from, I didn’t look into it, but I do know that Hashem gets so much nachas from women making hafrashas challah- one of the 3 mitzvos given to just women. And I do know that 40 women davening and doing the mitzvah in the zechus of a refuah for someone is huge. A person can only do so much, and Hashem takes care of the rest. But I was going to do everything and anything I could do make sure I did my hishtadlus.

As for the last point you made. My uncle, was mamesh a Tzadik. Like the Rav said at the hesped.. He has suffering at the end of his life to cleanse his neshama. He davened with tremendous kavannah, his whole being was chesed and put every ounce of koach into his mitzvos. He was the kindest, gentlest person, so that suffering he went through was what he needed to go through in order to get to Olam Haba quickly. He accepted his suffering with love. He had no anger. His trust was completely and totally in Hashem Yisbarech.

YehudaTzvi, a mamin, and flowers- thank you so much for your tefillos. No tefilla goes unanswered and we have no idea what impact it made, either for his neshama or Klal Yisrael. We should only hear of simchas throughout Klal Yisrael.

Amen charlie brown.. from your mouth to Hashems ears. I am still looking for volunteers…. anyone?

Thank you kapusta, I’ve been thinking about starting a blog, it just seems like so much work. We’ll see.

What you said is so true. I never really thought of it like that before, thank you.

Soliek- Thats great!! We should all be zoche to think that every time we make kiddus. PS- I made sure to put in paragraphs so you could read it :-).

BTGuy- Your very welcome. Thank you for reading it!

MiddlePath- Thank you so much. I think it was more of a beautiful thing for the teacher to have this idea. I felt it was a zechus to be able to speak and share my experiences. In addition to speaking, she asked me to bring my guitar, so i was also able to show the girls after i spoke how you can be frum, and still stay you by using the abilities HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave you. I think I came away more inspired than them. And I wish you all the hatzlacha in the world trying to use your own experiences and helping others. I can see from what you write yourself that you definitely have the abilityto use your experiences to help others.

Coffee addict- Good for you! It really changes your perspective when you think about it that way. Maybe after davening, strike up a conversation with someone. Maybe they just need some inspiration. If they see you concentrating on davening and then making an effort to reach out and act like a mentsch, they may really take an interest in you.

Adorable-I did not ask if it works. I asked if anyone has tried it. The two are very different.

Every tefilla you say can move mountains. If Hashems answer is no, the words and tefillos still never get lost. You can be helping so many people without even knowing. The alef bais letters that you brought out from your mouth add new light to the world.

I was simply asking if anyone has ever done it.