emunah613

so if you have an elderly parent being taken care of by a non Jewish carer, is it a good idea to install this kosher switch into the apartment? Does this absolve the parent of having to hint on Shabbos to turn off the lights or to open the lights, since it is all hooked up to Kosher Switch? What if the elderly parent needs to get up in the dark and the carer is still asleep on Shabbos? What if you are dealing with a seriously ill person who needs to be given meds, or adjustments on the machinery they are hooked up to? Can the person caring for the person use the Kosher Light Switch and feel good that they are not violating any of the hilchos Shabbos? We’ve been told that in any fear of danger to her life, we are allowed to open lights. Even without a kosher switch. But this upsets her immensely and I think that if this invention were improved, it would ease her discomfort immensely.

Some great things you can do: daven at Rav Kamenetsky’s minyan in Bnei Brak, go to amuka, tzefat, meron, take a tour of tzaddikim up north. the grave of choni Hamagal is amazing! Tiveriya is stunning, and you can daven by Rabbi Meir Baal Haness and then go to the separate beach down the hill! Head towards Yerushalayim-endless things to see and do! After. go to the Dead Sea to relax! Take a hike at Nachal Ein Gedi, go to Ein Bokek, see the museum at Arad….

Obviously there is no body in Gehinnom and everything is spiritual.We have no limbs in the next world, we are all neshomos. And quite honestly, we do not know of anyone who has ever gone there and come back to report what it is. Thus I have only the tools I have been given in this world to work with. I am a parent and I know how deeply I love my kids and that I would never hurt them. However in order to be mechanech them I have punished them. I am a mere human being. Therefore I believe that Hashem’s love for me is infinitely greater than anything that I can comprehend and that whatever is in store for me is due to Hashem’s great love for me. I try not to anger Hashem and to sincerely repent when I have done something wrong. . When I have a punishment from Hashem, I have emunah that it is exactly for my personal benefit. And if I have not done a teshuva gemura before my death, then wherever I am sent to to complete that is also for my benefit. I think we need to remember that Hashem loves us so much! Living a life of fear of gehinnom is not true Yiras HaShem. Yiras Hashem to me is fear of disappointing our Father, Our King that we failed to follow the Torah’s instructions.

I hate lose and loose. I see this all the time in advertisements. To lose weight, not loose weight. I just lose it!

I have heard it said that the real gehinom is experiencing the pain that your actions caused another person. If you were a really bad person with an evil tongue that could be a very long time in gehinnom!

I am a teacher and I am really shocked that you feel this is so common. I really try to be very kind to my students and treat them as my “clients”. I do not feel superior to them, I do not yell, and I am very accomodating. Every year I ask mechila at the class party and encourage the students to write me a private letter if they have any bad feelings. My job is to teach my students so that they will love the subject and get them excited about learning. and to role model self respecting behavior. If that is not happening in other places, then the school is at fault for not making the teacher’s job description clear and enforcing it. In my school, the students are our priority and we all work as a team to help every student do as best as they can. Any teacher that makes a student feel like the first poster is not worthy of the title “teacher”.

Great sleep, proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle all go a long way, however, a really ADHD student can drive a class crazy if not medicated. As a teacher, I have a bouncy ball chair (an exercise ball with a stand) that a student who is ADHD can use if they forget their meds or the meds are wearing off. It helps for a short time, but not for the long hours a yeshiva student is expected to sit. I was very impressed last year with a parent that pulled her son out every day at 2:00 because of his severe ADHD. He went for cognitive behavioral therapy during that time in addition to taking meds so that he could be aware of his actions and how they impacted others. He used to terrorize the class, but this year he is a pleasure. It is all about giving your child that right kind of tools to cope with living in society and behaving with derech eretz. I am certain that this boy is going to grow up to be an incredibly learned person who is a baal middos because his parents are investing so much into his upbringing. I have been dealing with ADHD and ODD children for twenty five years in the classroom-thank Hashem for the meds!!!!

My charedi son got his draft notice three times. The first two he ignored and the third one he went to. He davened the entire night before at the Kotel not to be drafted. When he walked in they asked him to talk about what he does every day and he told them that he goes to mikve, davens, and learns all day. They gave him an exemption on the spot. I think that if they see an erlich ben Torah, they do not want him in the army simply because it will undermine their control-and all armies function on controlling their soldiers. I do not feel that a person should be forced into the army. Ideally they should make the army voluntary and eliminate conscription-there are still plenty of people who want to be part of the IDF. Hopefully that will be the end result of all of this political stuff.

To aries: As a fellow child of a holocaust survivor I can attest that the Kavod for your parents is so great that anyone who did not have that upbringing can not fathom it. Most kids of survivors were imbued with a desire to give their parents nachas after understanding what pain they suffered. The understanding was instinctive. Also the fellow love of a Jew is imbued deeply into our psyches. YOu can see that in today’s world, that pure love has become very rare, which may be one of the greatest underlying causes of the OTD phenomenon of today. When I was a child, the yeshivos accepted any Jewish kid who wanted to learn, and never looked at the parents or siblings or even their ability to pay tuition. A child wanted to learn Torah-no questions asked!

To all of the parents who are suffering from an OTD child: No one who is not experiencing this can fully comprehend the extent of the pain and suffering that resides in the heart of a parent, usually so much worse for the mother. This pain and suffering comes from the depths of a the love in a soul for a fellow Jew, and Hashem does not ignore it! Keep on davening, saying Tehillim, and hold your head up high. These neshomos are only temporarily yours, and no matter what their current “outer costume”, deep down they want a connection to unconditional love, that from your postings, all can see that you are giving them exactly that. One can only come to a love for Hashem and Torah when they first experience love from a parent. ANYONE who hurts you further and fuels your pain will have to answer to Hashem and I do not envy them!

One memory I have is of my third grade teacher. She brought her beautiful handicapped daughter to school with her on day when we had school and her child didn’t. Our entire class learned all about her wheelchair and the other many devices that this girl had to use to function. It was a strong lesson for us.

You are speaking here about academic intelligence, however there are many different kinds of ways to measure intelligence. For one, there is emotional intelligence, in which girls’ scores are far superior to boys’ scores.

I gave birth a week before Pesach and was too weak to cook. We went to a heimeishe hotel Pesach program-now infamous-where there was electricity problems and issues with the food-and the cooking staff all left. The women banded together, cooked and baked whatever they could, and we enjoyed a heimishe home cooked Pesach in a perfectly cleaned hotel. I got the rest and attention I needed, and my new born daughter was well taken care of by a relaxed Ema. Not everyone enjoyed, however, I fully recovered from the birth and went home refreshed and able to be a Mommy to the rest of the family.

To those who think they are so righteous because they give a guy a small amount of money when an oni stretches out his hand: Take the tzedaka challenge!

If you care so much about giving to your fellow Jew in need, as some of the postings claim, then when the next person stretches out his hand to you, you will take five minutes to listen to him and hear about what his needs are. Perhaps you can make a real difference by directing him to a tzedaka agency that can really help him, or figure out an eitza for his situation. Being a rachman means just that-showing that you care.

I challenge those who so hotly debated this topic to try it this week and post what happened. I for one, would greatly like to see the writers of this forum take this challenge and tell us all what people were collecting for, where they were from, and what they did about it.

I believe that money is a tool, and one has to be careful who they give tools to. You would not hand a delicate instrument to an unskilled person. Likewise handing money to someone that you don’t know means that you are giving them the means to an end that you are unsure of. Even giving a small amount empowers and emboldens. If Hashem entrusted you with money, He obviously expects you to treat it very carefully and to investigate where your money is being used. With so many Jews unable to pay for basics these days, there are many legitimate ways to put your maaser money to use.

One thing we do is pay tuition for a child to attend a BY school. Her mother pays a small amount and was told her child qualified for a scholarship. This mother is a divorced mother not receiving money from her ex. Every time my own children take a small job, they put their maaser into this tzedaka. All their small change and ours adds up every month! We all feel very happy to be giving to this cause. When others come asking for tzedaka, we honestly tell them that our money goes to one specific cause and because of that we are unable to help them at this time. Most tzedaka collectors respect that and no one has ever made me feel bad. I think that when others recognize that you are genuine, and that you would like to help, but that you are committed elsewhere, it gives koach.

I have the utmost respect for the frum oilam that send their sons to the army! First of all they learn the meaning of time-a soldier is given no breaks-dressed and ready in seconds. They learn to be alert, focused, and to use every sense to survive. They get no time off for minyan, they need to wake up extra early. They experience 48 hour days, hikes so difficult with heavy packs, rescuing a fellow Jew, and mixing among all types of Jews, etc.. Any soldier can apply the skills he learned in the army to his Torah learning and we could produce gedolei Hador like we used to have-those who never wasted a minute, who learned with great hasmoda, who cared about their fellow Jew, etc…Incidentally, high commanders in the army are usually from the top Hesder yeshiva students and are very very frum. And in the army, there is great respect for frum people who follow the Torah honestly.

According to the letter it seems that the intention of keeping Charedi people from the average society is the fear that they will be exposed to things and leave Torah and mitzvos. And so I ask you-if those from the top hesder yeshivas serve in the army and leave shomer Torah and mitzvos, why is the chinuch of the Charedi not providing enough chizuk to their own sons to withstand the tests of being part of the general population without compromising their own mitzva observance? Don’t all of the gedolim regularly meet with all kinds of Jews and are not fazed by their different derachim or no derech?

Read “I only Want To Get Married Once”. This is an easy book to read and Chana Levitan is the author.

Sheep-you probably should have someone read the book to you. It is a well written book.

I wholeheartedly disagree with you! I think that these women of the fifties and sixties were very frum, despite the fact that they did not have all of the chumros that we have today! Their Yiddishkeit was really sincere, and they did not have a concept of putting on an image. In fact, because so many things were less convenient they worked much harder at being frum. (There was much less kosher food, virtually no plethora of Jewish novels, music, magazines, tapes, shiurim, etc…) Halachically according to their poskim, they were the frum ones! There were no chumros like we know of today! And kids were not rejected from schools because of their family not following a CHUMRA-not a halacha. Because Yiddishkeit was sincere and honest and women had the immense desire to learn and to grow, their daughters wanted too, also! Today the mother and teacher is so concerned about her daughter’s appearance and outer clothing that there is a failure for some girls to feel that there is anything of substance in Yiddishkeit. Example: When I buy my daughters boots or a winter jacket we have to know- this year can there be a trim on the coat collar? A buckle on the boot? (last year boots had to have no decorations) What is the latest chumra? None of this is halacha. And the only reason we have to search so hard is because some rebetzin decided that this year this is in and this is out. And if my daughter comes to school with the wrong whatever she will be tossed out like yesterdays newspaper-despite the fact that she is a wonderful growing neshama! (BTW this year she can’t have a water bottle that she can drink straight out of-there must be a cup cap.) I feel badly that so much of my daughters’ lives are spent on their outer look instead of building and growing their inner souls.

Let’s define covering your hair and dressing modestly from years ago versus today. Thirty years ago, a woman could consider herself a refined Torah observant woman if she wore a hat or scarf, and wig wearers were rare. Her elbows and knees showed in those pictures of the sixties which today would be considered unacceptable. Yet these women sent their children to be educated in bais yaakovs and their daughters were welcomed. Today, a woman who does not cover her hair, elbows and knees will not have her daughters accepted at a Bais Yaakov. Were those mothers of the past less frum? Less refined? Today a woman who wants her refined daughter to learn in a Bais Yaakov but wears a too long sheitel or hanging earrings, or even high heels will probably not have her daughter accepted. I know of a mother who was wearing a hoodie and was told that if she appeared in that on the street, her daughter would not be accepted the following year to a bais yaakov. There are so many rules today as to what is considered the proper clothing. Some BY’s only permit a certain type of denier (thickness) of nylon, some want the skirt to be exactly three inches below the knee and not more because then the skirt is too long. The point is that based on all of these criteria, a girl will or will not be accepted into a BY. This is not Torah. This is hypocritical. The girl may truly desire to become close to Hashem, to get educated in Torah, and she will be rejected because she wore hoops earrings instead of studs, a jewel neck long sleeved t shirt instead of a shirt with a collar? (It happens) More and more kids find these things ridiculous, and feel that this is not based on true halacha. And when they are rejected for their chitzonious it leaves a scar. And the rules just keep getting crazier by the year. And when a child feels unwelcomed by the frum community they leave. We should never be rejecting a Jewish child! Especially for such reasons. Every child needs to be accepted for who they are at the moment, and every educator needs to understand that people are works in progress. And that the values we teach and emphasize should be great middos, and not overly emphasize that a girl deserves rejection because she wore the wrong ______________. OTD kids are just sick of the whole thing-I know this from the many girls I have met that have spoken to me about why they left………

Then you’d be a “BULLY”.

“I Only Want to Get Married Once” an excellent book and very easy reading. Chana Levitan is the author and although the book is about dating, it is really about learning who you are and what you can do with what Hashem has given you.

I live in RBS and do not feel threatened by these thugs. I also do not think that their numbers are on the rise. I think that this is a wonderful and beautiful place to live and I amazed at how kind and considerate most people are. With any growing community anywhere there will always be the fringe elements that demand attention. That this fringe element is disguised in a charedi costume is misleading. Most chareidim here are examples of middos and refinement. Do not let this group influence all the constant good that happens daily here.

Yes, you should tell if a boy smokes. Besides for all of the health problems, smoking is now a very expensive habit which is addictive. It is only fair that in a society where a woman is meant to go to work while her husband learns Torah, she should be agreeable to spending the money she earns on cigarettes. Many girls do not realize how much cigarettes cost and get “burned” by the cost, especially when they discover how much of their hard earned salaries “go up in smoke”. If a boy smokes a pack a day, in Israel that is 23 Nis a day or nearly 700 shekel a month. If the average woman is making around 5000-7000 a month, that is quite significant! In the USA it is around $8.00 a pack and that equals nearly $240.00! Generous Starting Salaries in today’s economy are, let’s say between $500 and $1000 per week. That is still significant strain on a budget. Without disclosure a couple is heading for some major shalom bayis issues……

There are “anti Israel” religious groups in chul who give money to support the cause of incitement against the State. I wish that there would be a way for people to know who these groups are and what they do before they donate money. I saw a few brochures claiming to have the endorsements of very frum rabbanim, and who emphasize that they work to purify Klal Yisrael, etc……

Learning Navi on a deeper level explains to us the inner workings of our own yetzer hara. The battles that the Neviim had to fight were to teach us how to fight off our personal battles. On a very surface level, here is an example; There are specific cycles that reoccur in Navi where the Klal behaves, then they begin to sin, then Hashem sends an enemy to attack, then Bnei Yisroel suffer, Hashem sends the Navi to help them fight, they succeed in battle. Cycle reoccurs. Each battles represents a stage in life and specific challenges that people face.

Learning Navi is most appropriate for all Jewish people but I can understand that it can be boring if you are reading like history without synthesizing the

information into your personal life. I can assure you that if you learn Navi with the deeper meanings-you will consider it your best class!

ps There were many incidents that were not recorded in Navi because they were not relevant to guide us.