ehrlichkeit

Bs”d
I just came across this thread, and I have a very important reason for joining in. My family is what I would term Yeshivish Litvish. We held that Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt”l was the Gadol HaDor, we daven Nusach Ashkenaz, we hold by the importance of a man learning full-time for as long as he can, and the wife working to support the family , for as long as possible. We hold that Lubavitch is a legitimate derech, but that those with the belief that the Lubavitcher Rebbe zt’l ‘s neshamah is in 770 and not in his grave, are way off. our son, in his 20’s, has gradually grown closer and closer to Chabad over the last few years. He is not married yet, and wants to continue to be a full-time learner until he is married, and wants to continue learning full-time when married, for as long as that is practical.
He is very drawn to Rabbi Yoel Kahn zt”l’s way of thinking. He has read his seforim, listened to his dvar torahs etc., and would like to follow his way of thinking. My son told me that he found out that the Lubavitchers who are “yehi” hold as follows: the Rebbe’s body IS buried in the Ohel, but his neshamah is in 770, similar to the way Reb Yehudah HaNosi, I think, used to come every Friday night to make Kiddush. they hold that Reb Yehudah HaNosi had to have been considered “alive”, because only someone who is alive has the chiyav of Kiddush and can motzei others. The Rebbe’s neshamah is drawn to 770 , because he wants to continue to help his chassidim. I’m sure a Lubavitcher can explain this better.
We do not want my son to follow this view, which we consider way out. Yes, it happened in the time of the Gemara, but we do not hold the Rebbe zt”l as being on the same level as Rabbi Yehudah HaNosi, although Lubavitchers do, and that is why this thinking has evolved in this way.
My son says they have a legitimate belief, that can be substantiated in this way, so they are not “crazies”, but right now he prefers to folow the Lubavitch belief that he will come back from the dead, which is a belief from the Gemara. Yes, it weas not mentioned while the Rebbe zt”l was alive, as they believed HE was Moshiach, so there was no need. But now that he is dead, they have to explain how he will still be Moshiach when the Yidden as a whole are ready. The Rebbe zt”l used to say that the Friedicker rebbe would “take us out of golus”, but my son says that Lubavitch believed he really meant himself.
My son wants to learn in a Lubavitcher yeshiva where the Rebbeim are non-yechi, but, since he is too old for a regular yeshiva, as Lubavitcher bochurim are usually only up to 20 or 21 years old in such places, he has been forced to consider to learn in 770. I use the term “forced”, because he knows 770 is a mixture of yechi and non-yechi believers. We don’t mind him becoming Lubavitch, as it was in the 80″s, which we know about, as we are familiar with how Lubavitch was then. We do not want him to start believing that Lubavitch is the best way to serve Hashem, and that any other group, especially Litivish, missing out.
Unfortunately, Reb Yoel passed away. My son really wants to have as his Rebbe and mentor, a staunch follower of Reb Yoel’s, who thinks as he did. Is this possible?