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I was Boruch Hashem zoche to make a number of shidduchim.They all have beautiful families,ka”h.One of the reasons I had to stop was because DOING THE JOB RIGHT is a full-time job,without exaggeration.Iy”h,when my own kids are all grown up and married,I look forward to resuming.
It takes time to be in touch with all the people involved in a timely fashion.Shadchonim who leave everybody hanging are a source of great frustration for daters and their families.Sometimes doctors and rabbonim need to be consulted.Sometimes Dor Yeshorim has delays.It gets involved.
Also,if I thought an oft-rejected guy/girl would be devastated by yet another “no”,I tried to have another RELEVANT(not random)date lined up,so I could say,”You know,the girl/boy didn’t see this going long-term,but I actually have another wonderful date for you.In fact,they already agreed…”
A SHADCHAN WHO CARES ABOUT EVERYONE’S FEELINGS CAN HAVE THE PHONE GLUED TO HER EAR ALL DAY.
Therefore,try to take it easy in your harsh judgments of shadchonim out there,because most of them are probably trying their best.
Get ready to be attacked,S.Z.!You must be bored!
YEEDLE–Isn’t London misspelled in your name?
1.Sincere praise is not flattery.Insincere,hidden-agenda praise is flattery.It’s due respect to shower “royalty” with deserved praise,before addressing the topic at hand.Even if you must ask for a personal favor afterwards.BECAUSE WE PRAISE HIM IN THE SHABBOS SHEMONA ESRAY–EVEN WITHOUT BASKOSHOS.So Hashem knows we are for real!
2.To Hashem,you are not just “one little person”–you are His creation.The tiniest child is never ,ever just”one little person” to his parents,right?
I spent several nightmarish years in the judicial system(not by choice).There are personal agendas,off- the- record conferences,financial incentives(otherwise known as “shochad”),political connections,etc.etc.
While ONLY HASHEM KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR CASE,no one should ever assume that anything is necesssarily what it appears to be in the court system.
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HOPE THIS HELPS.
Well,haifa girl,do you feel differently now?Being that you stsrted this post,has your concern been addressed?By the way,I was serious about the d’var torah idea.:)Waiting patiently…
Today is the first day of the rest of your life!
What about the B11 bus?Same pattern for the last 20 years:wait 40 mts.in the freezing cold,3 buses come by in a row…next group of people wait 40 mts. in the freezing cold,etc.etc.
Adorable,brilliant,and sad(the yeridah).
an area that always needs chizuk…
Just bringing Emunah back to the top of the list,lekovod the last night of Chanukah.(not my thread,but a good one,nonetheless…)
thank you,bas melech!
And people say your sheitel looks fantastic the day you’re giving it in to be done.(not hilarious,just true)
Kyolic comes in pill form.Simcha also has a direct effect on health.
So take a stroll down 13th Ave,or Ave J.You will have many opportunities to give personally.It’s not how much,it’s HOW.
I once told a panhandler I was sorry I couldn’t help him(meaning I gave zilch)and he actually said:”that smile was worth it”.Another fellow tried to get away with that,and he said”not you,her!”
And I’m almost 100 years old,so yes,it really was THE SMILE.
I recognized the guy immediately.Whatever the truth is,the embarrassment they surely have now is punishment enough.
My personal thought was:
Maybe they are so financially desperate,they(unfortunately)did not think clearly before doing this whole thing.
Keep up the online charity,then add a monthly stipend to give to me personally.That should cover all worries!:)
Blinky,you always have the best humor!You would make a great public speaker,with so many witticisms at your fingertips!Thanks for the laughs!
Yes,yes,the rest of you are also funny…
Can I guess?Just a guess–nobody “kill” me,please.:)
1.Kayin was punished for killing Hevel–not because he defied specific instructions not to–but because it was a given:WRONG.BAD.
2.A Jew has 3 traits ingrained in his very being.We are bayshonim,rachmonim,and gomlei chasodim.A murderer is doing away with all mercy,and that resistance takes conscious thinking.
Having gone thru every word of that,I can only say NEITHER PARENT should do that to the other.Even though the kids eventually come around…YOU NEVER GET BACK THOSE PRECIOUS YEARS.
eyes only for you
1.Retaliation for what he worries will affect his image/status.
2.Anger over the loss of a situation which was working very well for him.
3.”Proof” that he is normal and she is nuts(which he will try to show by making her nuts) and he just wants to protect the poor kids from her shrewish clutches.
SoRight?It’s your serve.:)
aries,I am flattered,because I actually enjoy YOUR posts for that reason,as I mentioned on another thread this hour.
Read HindaRochel’s post again,fellows.
huh?
So right,I have no energy left for this.I hope someone else gives it to you over the head though,no offense.
mw13:It’s all good now.:)
Okay,mw13.
1.”default”is not the right word here.If a woman is crying and begging rabbonim to make her abusive husband LEAVE THE HOME,and he refuses adamantly,and they allow him to stay while the crisis continues to escalate….it is not by “default”that she is trapped but by “de FAULT oF” the powers-that-be who refuse to believe her.
2.And how could you possibly think i meant that those following halacha caused a Chilul Hashem?!Quite the contrary.I can’t even read Parshas Mishpotim without cringing at how many d’oraysahs have been ignored.It is the ABSENCE OF HALACHA which has caused so much Chilul Hashem.
I truly believe that the Torah is “d’roche’ha darche noam”.
Now unless you know my story personally(which you clearly do not),may I ask how you became so aware of exactly what happened?
I am so happy you said that,because that means I have a built-in kappara!
My ex taped me for about 5 years and let many people hear the tapes…that’s a taste of Gehinnom.Trust me,it makes all the stuff we learned about in school good and real.I’m traumatized to this day!
My only hope is to be spared that boosha in the next world,at least.
A man was crossing Niagara Falls on a tightrope and asked his friend,”Do you believe I can cross the falls on this tightrope?”
“Sure”,his friend replied.”I’ve seen you do it many times.”
“Get on my back,then.”
THAT KIND OF TRUST is Emunah( belief)…that comes with true bitachon(trust).
Shidduchim working out have almost nothing to do with Teva.Read any shidduch story book,even “Chicken Soup For The Soul”books.Even goyim see the incredible”luck” or divinely controlled circumstances when it comes to meeting Mr.Right(or even Mr.Wrong as it may turn out-that experience was also meant to be.)
Hard to top that one!