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About the crying…I’m not a tzadeikes,I was worried for my children,the tears came naturally.
I think pager devices should be velcroed to everything we keep misplacing.
s2021:
I just noticed your post about seemingly “ignored” prayers.
I recall once crying thru the whole tehillim before a crucial court date…and being so utterly traumatized by what actually occurred! In fact,the shock had me so dazed,I almost crossed the street outside the courthouse on a red light.
It took a while until I picked up that tehillim again,I almost felt like the heavens were mocking my tefillos,chas v’sholom.
Of course,that was not the case–the heavens were probably crying right along with me.
I eventually realized that I don’t have to “finish the whole tehillim” in one shot,but TEHILLIM IS THE GREATEST SOURCE OF COMFORT FROM WHICH NO THINKING PERSON SHOULD EVER DEPRIVE HIM/HERSELF.
Why those tefillos didn’t do EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED THEM TO DO?
I will find out one day…
ZeesKite,nothing personal.
Most of that noisy hype was a few years ago.Now it’s just lingering around.
I think it’s totally true.I am glad I grew up in the 80s.
Health…I hope Hashem answers your prayers l’tovah soon.
In some ways,your tests are harder than mine,because my female friends are very loyal and “there for me”,and men are expected to be practically stoic,I imagine.
my home should smell fresh and clean
after all there is sparkle and sheen
but I moan and fret
for the aroma is sweat
and to spray her upon entry is mean
the lady did quite a good job
she doesn’t clean like a slob
I wish I could tell her
that I can still smell her
but even a non-jew might sob
Boruch Hashem,my children and I have come a long way from those awful times!!We have a warm and happy household where visitors feel welcome and comfortable…even the “troubled teen” I mentioned months ago,who needs yeshuos…but finally understands what a mother’s love is truly about,OTD notwithstanding.
Shrek.In short:
1.well-hidden(many abusers are charmers winning you over)
2.many things WERE THE SEEDS OF PATTERNS but I had no way of knowing it then
3.we were told he was a “future gadol”,so I kept thinking I must be flawed,and kept trying to improve myself
4.when I realized HE HAD SOME SERIOUS ISSUES,they were white-washed by one and all
5.as I became more distraught from the relentless abuse and severe sleep deprivation,he told others my increasing emotionalism “proved how crazy I was”
6.about a zillion other factors
observanteen…YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING I DIDN’T FULLY UNDERSTAND AS A YOUNG GIRL.
YOU ARE DAVENING EVERY DAY FOR THE RIGHT(good,kind,sincere) ONE.
Had I done more PREVENTATIVE davening,I may have had an easier time.
And how do I cope?
Because NOW I UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I NEED HASHEM,I TURN TO HIM,AND HE HELPS ME DEAL WITH IT ALL.
tbt…I just saw your question now.
Even when I write a shopping list,I write “cukes” instead of cucumbers.It’s just shorter,NO OTHER REASON.
And I thought you were from the community where Mr.X and fellow rodfim tell everyone I am crazy,I went crazy,and every crazy thing you can think of!
THUS,my being offended!Well,thanks for explaining.:)
observanteen,to answer your question:
1.The blatant abuse is behind closed doors.
2.Many types of abuse are not “visible” to the untrained eye/ear.
3.In many instances,I was competing with his softly-spoken lies,while I cried and screamed the truth–which was so ugly,they preferred the lies.
4.Many other factors!
tbt…how does that link apply to me? Don’t tell me you think I’m ZeesKite?!
candy…my on-and-off computer use is explained in the “Disciplined User” thread.
I didn’t TELL anyone,Health.Oh wait,just bbubee.And a couple non-posters.
truth be told…Of course I meant the abbreviation for cucumber.
And now I’m 100% sure you’re from a community I moved away from.
“It takes one to know one?”(your words)
Since I have never once insulted you or anyone else,(while you and cucumber seem to feel quite comfortable in that role),I’m not exactly sure what besides your “affiliations” would warrant both of your remarks.
truth be told…I don’t know you,but from some of your posts(on other threads),I gather you know me.
s2021….I never shared this aspect of my story before,but I promise you I went from being a popular and often visited member of my family to losing 99% of my relatives to my ex in a tragic game of Red Rover.
The reason I held back from those details is because every few weeks someone pipes up that they know me,and I have relatives who still need shidduchim,plus it would be l”h against “beinonim”,unlike Mr.X who as a “moiser” and whatever else is in every category of people who MAY be spoken against.
Wow! What a pleasant surprise indeed.Glad someone forced me to shlep my computer out again…this thread made it worth it.
(I purposely disconnect all the wires etc.so it’s not at all tempting unless it’s a must)
I got scared for a minute that you were addressing me!
Just say “gum zoo le’tovah”
onegoal…isn’t that rude?
And no I’m not her or him or it.
brother…?
I don’t think I ever claimed to be one,cuke.
The Torah puts no fine print next to hilchos bein adam lachaveiro.(Some restrictions apply,acc.to you,but not to Hashem)
Shticky…I’m using that for my class and my own bulletin board in my kitchen.It’s great!Do you know the source?
observanteen,well-said.
mewho..they call it “one hand on his shoulder,and his foot on a banana peel”.A joke some find offensive,for some odd reason!:)Even I think it’s mean.Anyway,money comes and goes.
msseeker…I can relate.
Derech–if one’s lack of insight causes pain to others on a regular basis he is 100% a mayzid,because he must see that he is provoking other’s anger,hurt,tears,negative reactions….he must seek guidance so as not to be oiver the countless issurim he is being oiver with his seeming (consistent)”lack of insight”.
If a guy rammed his Suburban into you,and then claimed it was due to a lack of eyeglasses,would you buy that??.
I had a “l’shaym shomayim” jihad going on against me…I don’t even EXPECT to be asked mechila….And think of me as you wish,but I am unable to be moichel the incredible damage either.No forgiveness speeches please,until you’re standing exactly where I’m standing.
EVERYTHING IS FROM HASHEM,but “migalgilin chov AL YIDEI CHAYAV”.(No,not the Chayav from the CR)
I had a “l’shaym shomayim” jihad going on against me…I don’t even EXPECT to be asked mechila….And think of me as you wish,but I am unable to be moichel the incredible damage either.No forgiveness speeches please,until you’re standing exactly where I’m standing.
EVERYTHING IS FROM HASHEM,but “migalgilin chov AL YIDEI CHAYAV”.(No,not the Chayav from the CR)
Derech–A rasha not only thinks he’s off the hook,but that he either did a good thing (mushkebabel reasoning)or that you didn’t see.Or,that since he was so hungry,you’d let it pass,etc.etc.
When I was 21 years old,I helped with taharas on maisim(women) and let me tell you, it leaves an impression.I only did it a few times,because I got traumatized by the last one,but it’s soooo clear that we are only here temporarily.On a lighter note,I had no idea about “wakes” etc.and I thought one of the ladies had passed away in the middle of a weddding!!She was not orthodox,and her family had her dressed to the hilt,STRONG manicure and all….
I’d be happy to help you,provided you are a BAS Yisroel,and not a BEN Yisroel?
No… I know there are mothers who train their sons to be kind and caring…I think my sons and their friends are good boys,b”h.
It’s past my bedtime–I took the cynicsm too far perhaps.
No one knows what tests another person must/has overcome.
You’d be surprised at how many 40 year olds DO REMEMBER and understand.
It all depends on their honesty/humility,…personality traits(outgoing,shy)…and their ability to advise without judging.
Wow…we came full circle here…back to life-threatening situations…
You don’t get to PICK!!
I guess I’m not that smart,because I’m not even sure if I was right after reading the answer.
Oh,well then I meant male bombshell,the ONLY kind cshapiro dates!!
Ok,it’s way past my bedtime,my posts are getting crazy!
Define “shave themselves” please.
1.they need a barber to attend to them?
2.they themselves are not barbers?
3.I’m totally off…?
…whose heads should be dunked in sand.