Growinggirl- you should know that this comes up ALL the time. Speak to a Rav about your personal status in terms of Halacha. I totally understand why you would want to keep this quiet, but after all of those years in frum schools, there must be someone that you feel that you can trust. Try to see if you can find a live person to talk to about the shiduchim. There are a lot of people out there who would not be turned off by your story. Hatzlacha Raba!