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flowers
Smart!
cshapiro
Yay! So happy to be your friend 🙂
cshapiro
You’re better than me. I have said no because of looks. I think it’s time to copy Sac and duck and run…
Health
Obviously I would want my good qualities in a spouse but even if I realize a negative quality in myself I’m not goin to search for that.
cshapiro
Too busy to date a guy like that. But then again, I’m a total outsider so I don’t have to worry 🙂
cshapiro
Think of it as 2 hours (since when are dates so short?) to save his emotions. But make sure he knows where you guys are headed 🙂
I’m not interested in money but I still want looks and brains. I’ve also dated a few but even though they scored quite high in the loks department, they didn’t in other areas which I couldn’t overlook. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could order a customized guy? 🙂
Of course shidduch dating is for a purpose but you’re dealing with people here. I didn’t follow the story exactly but if he thinks you said yes to a date I think you should go out even if you’re sure he’s not for you.
Lol gluck on your search. I haven’t seen too many frum ones around…
cshapiro
And they even came out with a new size now! Yeah.. You’re probably better off with accounting 🙂
Health
Are you suggesting we look for people with the same faults as us?
cshapiro
Didn’t know rich was also on the list 🙂
metrodriver
I’m not saying what he did was wrong but she pretty much commited to a date and I don’t think it’s right to back out. Like bochur24 said, unless she’s scared he’ll hurt her or something she should just go out and say no after the date.
I sometimes talk about what I read in the CR but don’t say my screen name.
cshapiro
Sac is right. Go to Starbucks 🙂
Sac
I love your *’s!
There used to be one on Ave J in Flatbush.
bpt
You know they have outdoor malls, right? 🙂
It’s f a t t e n i n g
1dayatatime
Why do I not believe you?
I would suggest asking the reference to describe the person. Besides for “amazing” listen to what they talk about first. Those are usually the qualities about the person that stand out.
1dayatatime
Sounds like someone I know……ME:)
Modest too 🙂
what if u end up liking him..?
Then maybe the bad vibes weren’t real?
1dayatatime
Is it my problem that you don’t eat it? Truth be told, I really don’t need the water. I think it’s ridiculous to spend $8 on it.
But glad you saw the truth and gave in 🙂
1dayatatime
An hour?? I wish!!
First to address your points:
Cleaning my car: vaccuming, car wash, 45 minutes $20-30
You vacuum your car for every date? How messy do you keep it otherwise? 🙂
Shaving, showering, getting dressed: 30-45 minutes
We also shower and get dressed. And if you include the time we spend deciding what to wear we would beat you by a long shot. All you have to decide on is your tie.
making sure my suit and shirt are pressed: money for the cleaners and time to and from the cleaners
Same for our clothes.
Driving to and back from, her house: IF shes from lakewood, Monsey, Pasaic, Over an hour each way, plus gas and tolls
Ok, you got me on this one.
How long does it take for hair, makeup, getting dressed? an hour, tops?
I’m assuming you don’t have sisters or you wouldn’t be asking this question. Hair can take an hour alone. If I get it done it’s driving to and from the place plus spending an hour there. Makeup can take 45 minutes but it’s usually less for me. Getting dressed I discussed before.
To conclude:
So would you pay for MY water?
Once you beat me we’ll discuss the water. Although you are offered food and drinks in the house so technically that’s taken care of.
binahyeseira
There was a middah I was trying to work on (not tznius). I looked at people that mastered it already and realized I wanted to be like them in that respect.
Not another shidduch thread 🙁
Lol they’re actually quite interesting!
1dayatatime
I only get water so nope! But maybe if you prepare for the date as long as I do (including hair, makeup, etc), I’ll consider it.
iyhbyu
Sounds like a good approach. Hatzlacha.
For some things it was a conscious decision that I wanted to change. I knew what I wanted to achieve and focusing on the goal helped. Other things just evolved with time.
truth be told
Thanks for the backup 🙂
iyhbyu
No not really. I feel like you are ignoring the 2nd group completely though. I don’t fault you for that. You feel what you are doing is right. It’s nice to see you care and are not just doing it out of laziness.
1dayatatime
You wish! But next time I date a law student who doesn’t walk me to the door I’m going to be pretty convinced that it’s iyhbyu 🙂
iyhbyu
No.
I don’t agree with aries2756. It’s true he broke protocol but why not give him a chance? Go out with him once and see if you continue getting those bad vibes.
Maybe if I would know what’s flying…
1dayatatime
Good luck! I hope you have clarity making your decision!
Ctrl+Z
Ha ha!
iyhbyu
As I explained many times, I think it’s chivalrous. You don’t. That’s FINE! Most girls won’t fault you for staying in the car so if that’s what you feel comfortable doing, by all means continue to do that.
If he deserves respect then yes.
iyhbyu
Obviously it’s important to act like a mensch. I think acting like a mensch includes chivalrous things like walking the girl to the door. You disagree. Fine. But this conversation is going around in circles.
1dayatatime
A relationship is most definitely a give and take, just in different ways. What are you expecting to get in return? I don’t think a girl should be opening the door for a guy but she must be thankful and courteous when he does for her
The best gift was for sure my wonderful husband.
Aww!!
iyhbyu
I don’t think you can argue that it’s chivalrous and on a date they guy should act as chivalrous as possible. That doesn’t give the girl a free ride to act however she wants – she should be polite, etc.
Thanks! Now I’m debating if I like it or not! Taking a poll…what do you fellow posters think??
iyhbyu
You obviously still think that walking a girl to the door is the right thing to do. I’m fine with that- but you need to explain yourself as to why. Do you think that there is no substantial minority which prefers not getting walked to the door? Do you think that your opinion is the only one that matters? Do you think that men should have a supernatural ability to “sense” what you appreciate on a first date, as it seems tbt thinks?what is it?
I explained several times why I think it’s the right thing to do. You say that you’ve heard that lots of girls don’t like it. In all honesty, amongst my friends, we appreciate it. I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t. Sure we joke how we can open the car door ourselves and make it back to our house alone but agree that it’s chivalrous when the guys does those things and it makes us feel protected and cared about. I believe you when you say you know some girls don’t like it (we see it on this thread too).
If I thought my opinion was the only one that mattered I would state my point and that’s it. My eyes were opened up on this board in realizing that some girls don’t like it. I don’t think either of us can say it’s a minority or majority based upon the small pool of girls we’re dealing with.
I doubt most men can sense what a girl prefers but it would be nice for them to obtain that trait somehow 🙂
Oh shoots. Missed it!
iyhbyu
Same as on this thread.
iyhbyu
That’s not the point-the point is that I have yet to hear of a girl who prefers NOT to have the car door opened. Most don’t care either way.
I don’t think the Mods will let me post links but look around. There are girls who don’t prefer it.
iyhbyu
Opening the door is also much more common and accepted.
I thought they went hand in hand. Whatever. It seems like we came to the conclusion that for you it’s safer to stay in the car because of some girls that might not like being walked and for me to continue to add points for guys who walk me.
iyhbyu
No we were. I’ve just read online (okay, blogs) where some girls said that it’s a stupid thing to do since they can open it themselves. You obviously know what side I’m on. I was just curious what your take is.
iyhbyu
The out of curiosity, why do you think that is so different than walking a girl to the door?
iyhbyu
Do you open the door when getting into the car?