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Sweatshirt and slinky skirt! Sorry, that doesn’t seem like it’ll be of much help to you.
oomis
Lounges are not like that nowadays.
AZ
I don’t agree with the “facts” but thanks for the bracha.
AZ
I honestly think the whole “shidduch crisis” is blown out of proportion. Someone planted the idea in girls’ minds that guys always have the upper hand so many end up settling for something less than they deserve.
TheGoq
Don’t make fun of my thread! I’m quite proud of it!
Sac
I was never accused of not being sensitive enough but don’t let that stop you. Like I said before, if it comes to engagement it would be nice to give her the heads up but even if she doesn’t give her blessings that shouldn’t stop you. It’s YOUR life, not hers.
LOL popa! You really make me laugh!
AZ
You bring up your point again and again but I just don’t agree. And I’m a single girl in shidduchim…
Sac
You keep bringing up that it’s not any guy but one who she still has feelings for. I still stand by my posts. So what?? It might be uncomfortable for the girl who still likes him but you can’t not marry someone because of that. It’s just not a valid excuse!
So true!
“I’m guessing TMB, Derech and Dunno are males.”
Nope. I’m as female as they get.
Derech HaMelech
Lol, we should write the next Dr Seuss book together.
zeman
I know a heavy smoker who’s wife agreed to marry him provided he quit smoking once they got engaged. 2 days before his wedding he was still smoking. When asked if his future wife knows about it, he responded: “she’ll find out soon enough.” Pretty scary.
BP Totty
There are things you can get in Starbucks which aren’t cholov stam. For example, black coffee (soy milk can be added).
Sac
Why should you put your life on hold just because someone else dated him?
Putting myself in her shoes doesn’t seem so terrible. Sorry.
Sac
I so don’t agree with you on this one!
A- It is a life choice. There’s a chance he’s her bashert and the fact that her friend dated him shouldn’t stop the possibility from them working out.
B- I find that to be a very non-Jewish concept. This isn’t like stealing someone’s boyfriend. There’s a chance for them to get married.
I probably would say something before engagement but wouldn’t not date him because of this reason.
AZ
Speaking of teachers, I suggested something like this a while ago. I think it would be great if teachers and Rebbeim would get together solely to try to make shidduchim.
cshapiro
Lol! Start a new thread but I generally like essie better. What’s your favorite color? Mine is (Duri) iced roses!
AinOhdMilvado
I think siblings thinking of shidduchim for each other is far more common than you think.
Sac
Why stay away even if she has feelings for him? She can’t base her life choices on her friend’s feelings…
havesomeseichel
Exactly.
We have it by night and day with chrain.
cshapiro
Anything your heart desires 🙂
Cedarhurst
Are you sure? I seem to recall learning that zemiros are the exception for kol isha.
I always thought a female singing zemiros even in the presence of men is ok.
memo
I don’t know if you can base the information on enthusiasm. Some people by nature are more enthusiastic than others. You really need to find a mutual acquaintance that you are closer with than they are.
cshapiro
Let’s reclaim our position!
Nachas
I think that’s a rather nasty question in addition to the fact that most friends wouldn’t answer it.
Health is a major thing to find out about and is usually the most difficult.
It’s actually an interesting question. Like TMB said, it’s anonymous.
As I read the thread title I knew that AZ would be the first to answer. Sure enough…
I wouldn’t do it but I don’t think it’s all that terrible.
Sac
Good for you!
cshapiro
Again with your football player 🙂
cshapiro
Good for you! Regarding lying about age… I think many times, like you said, people will lie to get a shidduch. One of my relatives was a little older when she found her shidduch and asked her Rav if she can shed a year or two off her age. She was told that not only may she do so, she must. Obviously, before marriage, the truth should come out about everything but to get to a date nowadays is difficult enough and therefore the Rav okayed this provided that he find out eventually. I can tell you that she wouldn’t have dated her husband had he known her true age to begin with but they are one of the happiest couples I know.
I feel very strongly that shadchanim should be payed for their hard efforts – once the shidduch is complete. Like many people have said, the shadchan is like a broker who only gets paid once everything is complete. Shadchanim should be paid a decent amount – if someone could afford to spend thousands on flowers, the same should be done for shadchanim. One should always be thankful and courteous to shadchanim but actual payment comes once it’s a done deal.
TAN!!
You have to determine if it’s an outright lie or an exaggeration, like oomis said. If it’s a lie, I would definitely dump him. If it’s an exaggeration, I would try to realize the motive behind it.
I think p_b_a has the best advice so far.
Check out the MMinyan app available for Android and iPhone – it’s free and is probably very useful.
Sac
Such a situation wouldn’t even be a question for me. I think, like you said, he is very controlling. It’s one thing to be flexible but marriage is a team where both spouses work together. Maybe I am more decisive than you 🙂
Sac
Lol…time and place?
smartcookie
Thanks. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one.
pumper
That brings us back to Sac’s original question – at what point do you say there’s no use working at this anymore? I can theoretically live with just about anyone but I’m looking for more than that in a spouse.
Sac
That’s why I buy things that are returnable 🙂
I hope I’ll know…I’m just scared that maybe I’ll think I can always do better. Okay, I’ll stop now. This is starting to sound like a psychiatrist session!
Aishes Chayil
I’m with you on that. I’m also PETRIFIED and will cross the street if I see a dog.
How common is it for a father to farher a guy? And by what number date is it done if at all?
Sac
Most things. It gets bad by dating though because guys generally expect an answer the next day. Whatever…it’s something I gotta deal with.
BP Totty
I have no problem with that. Talk to G-d about it.
How I wish I was as decisive as Sac…
Maybe it means the Satan acts through people who give information. I’ve heard countless stories where shidduchim were broken because of bad (and many times false) information received.
rebbitzen
Not sure I announce who he is… Actually, even though I got the heter, I didn’t copy the song because it didn’t feel right to me.