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Joseph is a very clever person and while I believe that I know his name and who he is, as far as I know he does not know who I am.
If you quote the conflicting posts I can try to explain what’s going on.
If you read the thread about how I think I figured out who he is you’ll see that I came across a post on a professional secular site that had his fingerprints and took it from there. I needed some other posters to help me validate it but the moderators do not allow users to post personal information. To get around this I posted an encrypted message on “The Riddle Thread” back in 2013 (it’s still there, on the last page). To decode it you’ll either need some strong cryptography skills or the private key which I left hidden in a different thread some time before that for future use. Either method should work.
As you’ll see from the posts back in 2013 some people recalled the private key (or had a team of Polish cryptographers) and contacted me but I was only able to verify two of their identities (I suspect the others may have been Joseph).
The other posters and I are almost 100% positive that it’s him, but again- he’s very clever and he knows how to stay one step ahead so he may have taken us on a trip. Who knows?
Hope that makes sense.
Now you want to know about the wagon- There was another poster whose path I used to cross (in Downtown Manhattan) during my commute to work. He used to reference the “wagon” and let me know in advance when it’ll be along my commute route. It turns out that the “wagon” was the caravan of vehicles used when movies are being filmed and he knew in advance because “No Parking” signs went up a day or two earlier. One day I was walking by the “wagon” when I noticed that someone had left a can of Dr Pepper near the wagon with a yellow sticker after the Dr so it should look like Dr. and I couldn’t help but smirk. I was wondering if the poster was nearby looking to see if anyone noticed it. I later figured out that the poster was someone that I met before in real life and knew him by face but I didn’t know his name. Next time I saw him in Shul I approached him but he had no idea who I was. When I told him we both had a good laugh.
Please let me know if you have any further questions- it’s probably frustrating when there’s things going on in the background and you feel like you’re missing out on something.
I don’t think Ner Yisroel EVER endorses candidates one way or the other. Rabbi Naftali Neuberger A”H used to release who he’s voting for and his son continues his tradition.
I was able to find his letter for this election online:
https://baltimorejewishlife. com/news/news-detail.php?SECTION_ID=1&ARTICLE_ID=137026
link disabled, but reperable (times have changed)
jackk-
Iran is an established country that was just given access to $150,000,000,000. While it’s no surprise that it’s been taking longer than two years for it to buckle, it can not go on like this indefinitely. Additionally, Israel’s northern neighbor, Iran’s proxy, has been relatively quiet recently- a sign that Iran has cut some of their funding and that the sanctions are working.
If they do have the ability to obtain nuclear weapons now- with all the sanctions- imagine what they would have been able to obtain after the treaty expired and there were no sanctions in place. Does anyone believe that they wouldn’t have tried? What would the treaty have accomplished besides for kicking the can down the road for 15 years and leaving it for another president to deal with.
Also, another issue that keeps getting ignored here is that even according to those who believe that Iran was adhering to their terms of the treaty and not pursuing nuclear weapons, they were pursuing other dangerous and threatening weapons allowed under the deal. That had to be stopped.
Reb Eliezer-
I asked you some questions this morning. Would you be able to reply?
Dr. Hall-
Even according to those who believe that Iran was in compliance with their part of the treaty they were still developing destructive weapons which was fully legal under the terms of the deal- with access to billions of Dollars that they didn’t have access to beforehand.
Furthermore, the deal was only for 15 years- even if you believe that they weren’t violating the terms of the agreement do you think that they wouldn’t have LEGALLY pursued nuclear weapons once the 15 years is over?
By reneging on the deal and reinstating the sanctions President Trump has brought the Iranian leadership to the brink of financial collapse. Once the regime collapses the nuclear threat should be neutralized permanently.
Reb Eliezer-
$26 million is not an insignificant amount of money but it’s still more than $220 million less than what a Federal judge awarded.
Who paid out the $26 million? Which account or fund did it come from? When was it paid? Why wast the family not given the full amount?
Reb Eliezer-
I posted this on a different thread but you didn’t respond. Would you be able to answer this for me?
I hear the argument that a significant amount of the frozen assets released was payments (plus interest) for weapons that Iran was purchasing from the U.S. while the Shah was in power and President Carter blocked the shipments and froze the accounts after the revolution. So in essence the money belonged to Iran in the first place.
In 1995 an American, Alisa Flatow, was one of the victims of the Kfar Darom Bus Attack. In 1998 her father won a judgement against the Government of Iran for $247.5 Million.
My question is why didn’t President Obama withhold the $247.5 Million (plus interest) that a Federal Judge ordered the Government of Iran pay the family before releasing the funds?
Reb Eliezer-
My post was meant for Dr. Hall but it’s a public forum so anyone is welcome to respond.
Those who plan to vote for Joe Biden this November can be split into 3 categories;
1. Those voting Democrat because they want the handouts,
2. Those who do not want President Trump to have another four years as president and are voting against him and,
3. Those who agree with the beliefs of the Democratic Party.I believe that most Frum people who will end up voting for Joe Biden this November will be in the first two categories with Dr. Hall being one of the rare exceptions.
I tried reaching out to him (as I respect his credentials and opinion even though I disagree with him) to try and see my concerns from his point of view. Unfortunately he hasn’t responded to any of my posts recently.
As was mentioned before- politics isn’t black and white- there’s lots of gray area. The way I see it there’s lots of gray area on the Democratic side and less on the Republican side which is why I plan to vote Republican this November.
You mentioned that the Republicans dismissed the articles of impeachment without calling a single witness. I didn’t follow the details of this story so I don’t know if this is accurate or not.
What I do know though is that even before President Trump was sworn in as president the Democrats were vowing to have him impeached. While that wasn’t possible when the Republicans controlled the house it became possible after the midterm elections.
The Democrats brought up articles of impeachment that they knew had no possibility of removing the president from the White House. To me it seemed as if all they were trying to do was waste time and make the president look bad. Now he will go down in history as being impeached.
Do you recall the glee on Nancy Pelosi’s face as she signed the articles of impeachment and gave out souvenir pens?
While I’m no spokesperson for the GOP it seems to me that the Democrats were the ones to turn this into a kangaroo court. The Republicans did the responsible thing and threw out this waste of time that had no chance of getting anywhere as soon as possible.
As a side point the economy has been improving steadily and unemployment claims have been going down.
I also wouldn’t consider President Trump to be a dictator. Just the opposite!
In a dictatorship citizens have less rights to protect themselves and make their own decisions. Which side is it that wants to take away the right to bear arms? Which side wants to get as many people as possible dependent on government handouts? Which side is it that wants to control everyone’s healthcare?
Dr. Hall-
As a statistician I’m sure that you’re very aware of the famous saying attributed to Benjamin Disraeli regarding the three types of lies- each one more severe than the previous one.
By stating that the United States currently has the highest level of unemployment since the Great Depression- and purposely leaving out that the United States had the lowest unemployment rate in decades up until the rapid spread of the virus- you are perpetuating the third type of lie. While what you stated may technically be correct you’re purposely misleading others who read it. Even if you feel that the president is 100% responsible for all the damage caused by the virus and purposely caused it- you should not only mention the statistics that fit your agenda and skip the ones that don’t.
Back in the 90’s the Reader’s Digest had an article titled “ This Man Wants You Dead”. The article was about Osama Bin Laden and it was the first time I heard about him or his terrorist organization. If the Reader’s Digest heard of him and understood his threat I’m going to assume that the president was aware of that threat as well.
After the 1998 US Embassy Bombings in East Africa, Bin Ladin and Al Qaeda became household names. He should have been even more aware of the threat and done something to stop him. Had the US eliminated Bin Laden back then they probably would have prevented the September 11th attacks.
By the time Former President Bush came into office it was probably too late to do anything to Bin Laden and the Al Qaeda leadership that would have stopped the attacks. There were less than 8 months left until the attacks and the actual hijackers probably had all the funding and resources needed to carry out the attacks regardless of how their leadership was doing.
You seem to be pretty harsh on Former President Bill Clinton by calling him a female and a rasha. I usually reserve the term “rasha” to someone who is actually wicked. While he may not have been a role model in his personal life I think it’s extreme to refer to him as a “rasha”. I think “immoral” would be a better description unless you know more about his personal life than what’s publicly out there. I also prefer to call someone by the gender they were born as, regardless of what they (or someone else) decides to refer to them as.
What he did in his personal life is something that’s legal and (unfortunately) generally accepted nowadays, although at times it’s frowned upon. When he lied under oath- I actually felt bad for him. He was pushed into a tight corner and was forced to answer a question about his personal life- under oath- in front of the entire country. His choice was either perjury or to admit what he did.
While he was wrong for committing perjury I saw where he was coming from and would not have ruled out voting for a Democratic candidate in the future based on that alone. (While I personally didn’t vote for him in the first place- I wasn’t registered to vote- I wouldn’t have had an issue voting for him.)
My problem wasn’t with him but was with the leadership of the Democratic Party during the Senate Trial. Of the 45 Democratic Senators in the Senate at the time not a single one found him guilty for lying under oath. I found that pretty shocking.
Looking at how the Democratic Senators treated Justice Kavanaugh during his nomination I see that they haven’t gotten any better.
The wagon was part of a caravan of trucks for a movie that was being filmed there. I hope you didn’t lose sleep over that for all these years.
Before a movie is filmed signs go up to let people know to plan their parking accordingly so when the signs went up someone gave me a heads up that the “wagon” was going to be there.
I had no idea what he was talking about until one Friday I took a detour to check it out. I tried to keep a straight face because I thought if he saw someone smile from ear to ear when they saw the wagon it would give me away. I walked right by as if I didn’t notice anything. I also pretended not to notice the can of Dr Pepper left by the wagon.
This is a public forum so you’re free to quote anything I wrote but if you think it may lead to Lashon Hora please keep it to yourself. Thanks
I once posted something cryptic and it got through the moderators but a few milliseconds later Moderator-80 came around, figured out the underlying message and heavily edited it. Over the years I’ve dropped hints in seemingly innocent posts but they either went right over his head, he chose to ignore them, this isn’t the same Joseph it used to be or I’m way off.
Either way- I pretty much spelled the entire thing out over here so let’s see what happens.
Syag Lchochma-
It’s really not too interesting or worth losing sleep over.
I’m going to try to give all the details but some of the posts I’m going to reference have disappeared over the decade so it’s hard to fact check.
The first post from a “Joseph” that caught my attention and was an inside joke that was going on at work and I showed it to a colleague of mine and asked him if he thought it was a different colleague whose name is Joseph. He agreed that the poster either worked with us or a competitor unless it was just a strange coincidence. After checking out the other posts by “Joseph” we came to the conclusion that they were too radical to be from our coworker.
Sometime later I was reading a post that I suspected was from a “Jospeh” and he used a word not in my vocabulary that I had to look up in the dictionary. Around the same time I was on a secular (albeit professional) website where the same thing happened. Those are the only two times I recall having to look up a word in the dictionary that I came across in an online forum. Given that some of the interests that our “Joseph” had coincided with the poster on the other site I began to follow the two of them very closely.
I noticed another pattern in the two of them in that they both asked questions to new members that they seemed to know (or, based on proven expertise in a topic, should have known) the answer to. I don’t know what the point of this was, possibly to build trust amongst new members, but whatever it was- the pattern was clearly there.
The poster on the other site posted pretty much daily except for Shabbos which I thought was a good indication that the poster is Frum despite the screen name. I waited patiently for the next Yom Tov to see if this poster happened to be away for Saturdays or was actually observant. When the next Yom Tov came and my “friend” didn’t post I suspected the latter.
I wanted to share my findings with other CR posters but those that I outed denied being who they were and Moderator-80 was very clever and making sure we didn’t leave any personal information so that posters can contact each other.
The idea that I came up with was to encode a message by using a private key based on some numbers that were used in one thread with an encryption method described in a different thread. I figured that a handful of posters who recalled both of those posts would be able to figure out how to decode the message and contact me on the email address that I set up for this purpose.
There were a few posters who decoded the message and contacted me but I was only able to verify that 2 of them were the poster they claimed to be.
Once I was in contact with these other trusted posters I shared my findings and we were above a 99.99% confidence level that these two posters were the same.
I continued my surveillance on the other site until I hit a payday. A different poster at the site asked for assistance with a question and the solution was easier to explain with a word document than by typing in a response box on a forum. Instead of sending the OP a PM he embedded a Word document (it seems to have been removed since then)- and to my delight he neglected to remove the metadata from the file! I now had his full name and place of employment!
Now, I can’t say for sure if “Joseph” was just one step ahead of me and sent me on a wild goose chase by leaving red herring all over the place but I did get a huge amount of satisfaction. I wouldn’t know if any of the pictures I came across while searching his name are actually him- so I don’t know if I ever saw him in person. There was someone who was in Yeshiva at the same time as my brother-in-law with the same name I never pursued if it was the same person or not as I thought it may lead to Lashon Hora.
achmad_the_arab-
For the most part I don’t know who these profiles are in real life. Every so often I figure out who someone is and so I let them know (just so that they don’t think they’re anonymous) but they usually deny it.
In one case a poster called me a name in a different thread (I’m not sure if it was meant to be complimentary or derogatory) but I never heard the term before. I then overheard a coworker referring to an old colleague with the same terminology and put two and two together. I informed him that his covers been blown (I didn’t tell him how I figured it out) and he denied it but the profile was immediately retired.
Joseph is a different story altogether. Given that the Frum, Yeshivish community is very small most posters who want to remain anonymous are careful not to let their guard down.
On a different forum I noticed that a poster had some close similarities to Jospeh and started monitoring the posts from both of them. After I was totally convinced I ran it by another poster who I was in contact with in real life and he thought it was solid. At one point he slipped and let his guard down and gave away enough information for me to figure out what his real name is. Of course this may have been intentional to throw people off- I’ll probably never know.
Also, I can’t even be sure that the Joseph that I tracked down is the same Jospeh who’s posting nowadays.
Syag Lchochma-
I checked on the profile for Joseph and it was obviously a different profile as this one was created less than 3 years ago and the original post was over 10 years old.
(It may have been the same Joseph though.)
Jospeh-
I just saw your question from last year. I don’t recall seeing the story anywhere except when I first posted it back in 2009.
When I went back to that part of the thread there were some comments missing- including the one where you admitted that you were the guy she was dating. You can tell by the lack of continuity.My brother-in-law found out about it and still teases her. When they recently went food shopping and the grocery store said they needed to wear gloves he took two out of the box, stared at them, and said “look, they gave me two right handed gloves”!
He doesn’t tease her about dating you though so he must not have found out about it by reading it here.
Reb Eliezer-
Before there was a treaty Iran was under crippling sanctions. I don’t know the exact details (you can easily look them up if you want) but they were limited in the amount of oil they could sell and which international banks they could do business with (amongst other types of sanctions).
Weather Iran kept its part of the deal is up for dispute. Regardless of that, they publicized that in the meantime they were developing other types of dangerous weapons that didn’t violate the terms of the treaty. It was pretty clear to me that once the 15 years were up they were going to continue on with the development of nuclear weapons- with the added benefit of the billions of Dollars now available to them.
By pulling out of the treaty the sanctions go back into effect (again, I’m not sure to what extent- you can look up the huge amount of sanctions on the State Departments website).
If companies aren’t allowed to do business with Iran and they can lose their ability to do business within the US if they are caught, they’ll be very hesitant to engage in any commerce with Iran. If banks can’t hold money for Iranian accounts and businesses or process transfers for them (or those that do business with them) it will be very unpractical to use the billions of Dollars available to them.
As Dr. Hall correctly pointed out earlier on, now Iran has the money and can continue with the enrichment of uranium. It’s not as easy as he made it sound.
If you had $1,000,000,000 in cash but were under sanctions with no person, business or bank allowed to engage in commerce with you- you may be able to disguise yourself and buy groceries or a prepaid cellphone with cash but you wouldn’t be able to get a credit card, travel or open a business.
Dr. Hall-
The United States was the first country to obtain nuclear weapons and it took the United States 3-4 years to develop nuclear weapons- and that was over 75 years ago (tomorrow will be 75 years since the first Atom Bomb was used in conflict).
The technology to create nuclear weapons is out there and readily available to any country that has the desire and money. Iran has stated that they have the desire and they definitely have the money now. I don’t think anyone will disagree with that.
When Prime Minister Netanyahu stated that Iran was six months away from obtaining the bomb he was probably correct. If not through covert operations to derail the process they probably would have had nuclear weapons long ago. There’s no reason why with all the advancements in science and technology over the past 75 years that it should take more than a few years.
The IAEA inspectors may have confirmed multiple times that Iran was in compliance with the deal but they can only check the sites that they know about. The trove of information that the Mossad stole from an Iranian warehouse proves that there were locations unknown to the IAEA.
Regardless of weather the deal was good for Israel or not most will agree that after the 15 years are over Iran would have continued their quest for nuclear weapons- with billions of Dollars more. Even if the deal would have worked like it was supposed to (and you don’t know for certain that it did) it only pushed the problem down the road and exacerbated it by giving them access to so much cash.
The prime minister of Israel has access to top secret reports that we don’t. He may choose to disclose some of them while keeping others under wraps. He may also decide against sharing it with Congress given that some of the members are rabid Anti-Semites.
If you’re going to publicly call him a liar can you bring some examples? Please provide some cases where he stated something as a fact that was later proven to be factually false.
I usually stay out of politics but I had a question about the funds that were released to Iran as part of the JCPOA.
I hear the argument that a significant amount of the frozen assets released was payments (plus interest) for weapons that Iran was purchasing from the U.S. while the Shah was in power and President Carter blocked the shipments and froze the accounts after the revolution. So in essence the money belonged to Iran in the first place.
In 1995 an American, Alisa Flatow, was one of the victims of the Kfar Darom Bus Attack. In 1998 her father won a judgement against the Government of Iran for $247.5 Million.
My question is why didn’t President Obama withhold the $247.5 Million (plus interest) that a Federal Judge ordered the Government of Iran pay the family before releasing the funds?
Does anyone know how these things work?
Thanks for pushing it through. I’m not sure what was going on but this thread wasn’t being moved to the front page even though I posted this morning.
Thanks for taking care of it.
Why isn’t this post showing up on the front page?
August 2nd 1970
50 years ago today was the first ever hijacking of a 747.
The plane took off a little after 1:00 a.m. from JFK and less than 2 hours later the 27 year old hijacker pulled out a gun and demanded to be flown to Cuba. When Fidel Castro heard that a jumbo airliner was coming to Cuba for the first time he jumped out of bed and rushed to the airport to greet it.
When the plane landed the pilot and hijacker were the only ones to disembark (many of the passengers slept through the entire ordeal). The tallest ladder truck in the airport was three feet too short for the plane and they had to climb down. The airport didn’t have the proper equipment to open the luggage compartment so the hijacker couldn’t retrieve luggage. The airport also didn’t have the proper equipment to start a 747 engine so the pilot had to leave one of them on the entire time.
Mr. Castro asked the pilot to give him a tour of the outside of the plane and the pilot also answered all his questions about the capabilities of the plane, including whether the runway there was long enough for the plane to take off- it was. (He declined the offer of a tour inside the cabin.) He then allowed the plane to leave and had the hijacker arrested.
After his release three years later he committed another crime shortly afterwards (I couldn’t find anywhere what he did) and went back to jail. When he got released for the second time he had enough in Cuba and returned to the US where he got sentenced to life in jail. (I tried researching his current whereabouts but couldn’t find anything definitive. The last news article I found said that he was still in jail but that was over 10 years ago. I checked the BOP inmate locator and couldn’t find anyone with his name currently incarcerated but there was someone with the same name released in 2011.)
The hijacked aircraft, registration number N736PA, was the first 747 in commercial service only a few months earlier, on January 22, 1970. On March 27,1977 this very same airliner was crashed into by another 747 on the runway on the Spanish island of Tenerife. Between the two planes there were 583 fatalities (and 61 injuries), it remains the deadliest aviation accident to this day.
Of the 1,588 747s built 61 were written off as hull loses. Of the 25 in the original Pan Am order that launched the entire program 4 (that I know of) suffered that fate, although none to design flaws or mechanical failure.
Aside from the one listed above, Pan Am Flight 103 was destroyed in a bombing in 1988, Pan Am Flight 73 was destroyed after crashing into something during takeoff in 1983 and Pan Am Flight 93 which was hijacked as part of the Dawson Field hijackings and blown up in Cairo after all the passengers left.
I found it interesting that the two hijackers were originally on an El Al flight intending to hijack it with two other terrorists but the pilot kicked them off and they got on the Pan Am flight and hijacked that one instead. The El Al flight was almost hijacked but the pilot put the plane into a steep dive, forcing the hijackers to the ceiling and giving the sky marshal the opportunity to neutralize the situation.
We’ve had very few go bad in the past few years. Most of the ones that did go bad were LEDs that weren’t meant for enclosed fixtures but were in enclosed fixtures.
I saw some for really cheap at an out of town Home Depot that looked too good to be true. I asked an associate if it was a mistake and he said that the local utility company was subsidizing them as their infrastructure was being overused and they wanted to encourage everyone to switch to LEDs which use much less electricity.
It’s part of Amazons business model to make returns so easy. There have been times when I purchased two or more pairs of shoes with the intention of keeping the one that I want and returning the rest (unworn) for a full refund. I’m under the impression that this is what they want and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I do think it’s stealing to order a pair of shoes to wear once at a wedding and then return it. (I may be wrong, reach out to Amazon and ask them directly if you plan on doing this.)
As far as the seller being from Brooklyn or Lakewood- they know very well how Amazons business model works and it’s a risk they’re obviously willing to take. (That doesn’t mean it’s OK to steal from them.)
Heard this from a former friend of mine who later on went OTD, became an ambulance chaser and is now a prominent lawyer.
While he was an ambulance chaser he was tasked with serving a summons to a Yungerman learning in Kollel for what he described was a “nuisance” lawsuit.
Armed with a picture of the defendant from when the defendant was in Yeshiva he went to the Kollel thinking that his Yeshiva background would help him pick out the correct person to issue the summons to.
When he walked into the Bais Medrash his mouth dropped open- the picture he had was of a clean shaven person- how’s he supposed to look around and pick out which bearded guy he’s supposed to hand the summons to without attracting too much attention that may cause the defendant to hide?
Soon enough someone came over to him, handed him a Yarmulka, and asked him if he’s Jewish and interested in learning about his beautiful heritage. Not wanting to attract too much attention (and he needed an excuse to stay there to look around) he “admitted” that he was walking by and stopped in out of curiosity about his background and was definitely interested in learning some more.
After chatting about Judaism for a few minutes the visitor was getting impatient but his “Chavrusa” had one more request- he wanted to help him do the mitzvah of Teffilin. While having Tefillin put on him he glanced at the name on the tallis bag only to see that the guy putting Teffilin on him was the very person he was supposed to hand the summons to.
He left without handing him the summons.
YW Moderator-29
I don’t recall the title of the thread. What I do remember is some key words from a post by “mbachur”. Unfortunately the Google searches that I tried haven’t worked. Given that Google searches I tried on key words from other threads and posts around the same time frame yielded successful results I’m resigned to the reality that I’m remembering something incorrectly or the entire thread has been deleted.
Mistykins-
I wouldn’t say that I was a character over there. For the most part I was ambiguous when asked about anything- I would simply state that I’m neither confirming nor denying my involvement in whatever incident I was being questioned about.
In the Fire Alarm incident some people claimed responsibility but couldn’t explain how it was done. (When questioned by the hanhalla they denied responsibility.) They never bothered to ask me about is as they considered me too dumb based on my grades. (One Rebbe whose father knew my grandfather was overheard saying that I’m the only dumb grandkid my grandfather has. I actually found it amusing.) When other students asked me if it was me I just answered that I’m not commenting.
The Soda Machine incident (to give you an idea of my style) is something I did do (but again I was ambiguous when questioned).
The school tried changing out one popular flavor for Crystal Pepsi or something like that. After everyone tasted it they had enough and wanted Dr Pepper back. The Yeshiva said that once the Crystal Pepsi is sold out they’ll bring back the old flavor but barely anyone wanted to buy a can.
There was a little known design flaw in tubular locks (thank to YouTube it’s a little better known nowadays) and they can be easily opened with a Bic pen. While I had no success with a Bic pen I was able to exploit the flaw and easily open the machine.
The way the machine dispensed cans was by rotating a small shaft under the chamber until a can was dropped and then stopping. Each half rotation would release a can and a full rotation would release two cans. There’s a ring at the end of the shaft that has a cutout in it that a sensor looks for. By cover one notch with a strip of magnesium the shaft made a full rotation releasing two cans for the price of one. (If anyone has ever seen the inside of a soda machine, these shafts are covered by a metal plate that is easily removed. If a vendor has more cans than will fit in a chamber they will usually stack them on this plate.)
Pretty soon people (or possibly the one person) noticed that they were getting two cans of Crystal Pepsi for the price of one and someone told the school about it. After testing this repeatedly and verifying it they emptied the chamber and called the repair guy.
Before the repair guy came I removed the piece of magnesium.
When the repair guy got there he was scratching his head as it seemed to work just fine (and he never heard of such a thing before).
We were all cracking up as the administrator responsible for the soda machine was trying to convince him that it wasn’t a bad dream but he didn’t have too much luck.
Later on he finally replaced the sought after flavor to everyone’s delight.
There were 20 cans originally and four left when the repair guy came so I calculated that eight cans were given out for free. At $.50 a can I owed them $4.
For the fun of it I opened the machine one final time to leave a $5 bill in the bill chamber and take a $1 bill.
I would have loved to see the look on the administrators face when he found the $5 in the chamber or hear the phone call between him and the repair guy where he insists that there was a $5 bill in there. (This was before vending machines accepted $5 bills.)
As one can imagine there were others who tried taking credit for this but no one had a valid explanation.
Ok, I’m totally confused now.
I was under the impression (and I’m still pretty confident) that in a previous Gilgul you went by the screen name “mbachur”.
Anyway- “mbachur” once posted something that led me to believe that he was in Yeshiva together with me (and Nachman Seltzer) many years ago. (I now believe that I’m mistaken about this.) Unfortunately this post was from close to eight years ago and I can no longer find it. (I even did a Google search on the site for some of the words in the thread but the thread in question was nowhere to be found. It may have been deleted.)
To answer your question- I was never in Camp Dora Golding in any capacity and I was never a head counselor anywhere- I’m just not head counselor material.
Sorry for going off on a tangent.
Getting back to the main topic- did your friend ever figure out how to start up the iPhone?
Which thread, if you don’t mind me butting in?
Syag Lchochma-
Nothing worth keeping yourself in suspense over.
I had suspected for some time that while Nachman Seltzer and I were in Yeshiva together Coffee addict was another mbachur there at the time. Apparently I was wrong.
His comment made me laugh as I’m now under the impression that he attended the same high school as I did but after I left.
The school had some sort of tradition where current and former students an earn “Legend” status if a committee chose to bestow it upon them. I never had anything to do with this since there was too much Lashon Hora involved. (If someone was thrown out they automatically earned “Legend” status and unfortunately some people earned it for inappropriate behavior so I just stayed away.)
Some of the “Legends” were awarded posthumously (after the person left) while some were awarded to the wrong person (either they claimed responsibility for something they didn’t do or the committee incorrectly gave credit to the wrong person). Some of the incidents (probably the “Payphone Incident”) weren’t even the work of anyone from the student body yet still got assigned to someone. Some people, myself included, had a policy of neither confirming or denying any possible involvement in any incidents.
The place had a “no radio” policy so anyone with a Walkman had to have it surgically removed. At one point I was the only one authorized by the hanhala to remove radios to their satisfaction (it was much easier back then before everything went digital) so I had an undeserved reputation for being an expert on electronics.
After I left I heard that I was voted by the committee to be cemented at the top of the “Legend” hierarchy for all future generations.
I was given credit for:
The Washing Machine Timer incident (posted in a different thread- some old timers may remember it)
The Payphone Incident (wasn’t me- happened after I left- I suspect a Bell Atlantic technician made an innocent, but funny, mistake)
The Soda Machine incident (was me but I paid them back for their loss)
The Fire Alarm incident (wasn’t me)
The Fog Horn incident (a Purim shtick- partially me)
amongst a few others.I took his comment to mean that while we weren’t in Yeshiva together he does know who I am through my “Legend” status at the Yeshiva that we went to.
While his comment did crack me up I may be totally off as I probably have no idea who he is.
Hope this helps.
Coffee addict-
Thanks for that line- you cracked me up.
Hope my advice was able to help your friend.
Feel free to pass my contact information to her if you think I can be of further assistance.A Gutten Moed
Joseph- I’m at the Friedman’s until after Yom Tov- feel free to drop it off anytime between now and two hours after Yom Tov. If you have a valid reason for needing it today- get a heter from your Rebbi and I’ll bli neder do it today. Beginning Wednesday morning you can drop it off at my house.
Coffee Addict- I suspected for some time that we were in Yeshiva together. After you suggested that I tell Nachman Selzer that story I’m even more confident that the three of us were in Yeshiva together.
Syag- I never went back to that old age home so unfortunately I don’t think I ever saw her again. I was in EY for the next couple of years by Sukkos and by the time I came back my family had switched to a different shul.
Coffee addict- Do you know Nachman Selzer- would you be able to pass the story along to him?
The ones I had that had the same issue were either the battery or the charging port. Both are relatively inexpensive on Amazon and come with the necessary tools. Make sure that you are purchasing the parts for the correct model as they can differ slightly.
Do a Google search on how to do the repairs. If you have the patience and fine motor skills it’s really not too difficult.
If you know me in real life I can do it for you.
A Gutten Moed and Good luck.
Avi
At The Home Depot late one night right before Sukkos…
It’s a little past closing time but there’s still one line open with all different types of Yidden buying their last minute Sukkah supplies.
At the front of the line is an elderly Chassidish Yid with a shopping cart full of stuff. Behind him are two Modern Orthodox Yidden buying some really long 2 x 4s. Behind them is a group of Yeshivish Yidden with some planks, lights and an industrial extension cord.
Behind them is a YWN Coffee Room contributor buying replacement parts for a wooden Sukkah.
Behind me is a Non- Yid who’s wondering what’s going on.
I explain to him the basics about eating in a Sukkah and we have a cordial conversation about it.
The cashier then points out to the Chassidish Yid that one of the items in his cart is broken and he should run and get a replacement.
When he comes back the guy behind me yells that he should get to the back of the line.
“You stepped out of the line, now you lost your place and have to go to the back.”
“I just went to exchange something that was broken”, he replied, “I already waited a long time in line and I don’t have time to wait again.”
“Well I also waited a long time in line”, the guy behind me yelled back, “and I don’t either have time for this- I’m very busy”.
This back and forth went on a little longer until he finished his transaction, paid and left.
After he left one of the Modern Orthodox Yidden announced that the guy in the back of the line is in a rush, doesn’t have time to wait in line and asked if everyone could please step aside and let him cut the line.
We all stepped aside and the guy was mortified. He said that he’s not really in a rush and has no problem waiting his turn.
“But you just publicly humiliated the person here because you’re in a rush”, the person at the front of the line said. “None of us mind letting you cut the line if you’re that busy. We insist that you come to the front.”
He sheepishly said that he’s going to wait his turn and kept his mouth shut after that.
We never did finish our conversation about Sukkos but I was impressed on how Yidden of all different types stand up for each other.
Does anyone know what happened to the story I posted 9 years ago? It was my best Sukkah story.
My second best Sukkah story didn’t happen in a Sukkah but happened over Sukkos- I hope it’s good enough for everyone.
This story took place around the same time that the other story took place for those that read the other story and were inspired by it.
Back then after davening on Shabbos my parents used to visit residents at a nearby old age home while my siblings and I would go home to make kiddush and eat some cookies and cake.
On the first day of Sukkos, after a particularly long davening, I couldn’t wait to get home and eat something. My parents said that we’re all going to the old age home to help the residents make a Bracha on the Arba Minim and shake them. As much as I protested- I lost.
When we got to the old age home one elderly lady looked up, saw us and turned her wheelchair around so that her back was facing us. My Mom warned us that she’s anti-religious and she’s just going to yell at us to go away if we get near her so we should just stay away from her.
I was thinking that if I’m in a lousy mood I may as well put someone else in a lousy mood.
Heading straight towards her, I was about to lean over and ask her if she wanted to make a Bracha on the Arba Minim when she looked up at me and a huge smile appeared on her face.
“Would you be able to help me make a blessing on that”, she asked.
After I helped her make the Bracha and shake the Lulav and Estog she asked if I could sit down so we could talk.
She grew up in a town called Dubno (I think it’s in the Ukraine) and although she was Jewish her father was very anti-religious and would beat her or her sister if they ever asked about or observed anything that had to do with Judaism.
Early one morning she looked out the window and saw a Chassidish person walking past the house holding the strangest thing she ever saw. Tiptoeing out of the house she ran up to him and asked him what it was. After explaining it to her he offered to help her with the Bracha and she then shook the Lulav and Esrog. She then asked the man to wait a minute while she got her sister.
For the next few years, she and her sister would wake up early around Sukkos time (they didn’t know the exact date of Sukkos) and look out the window waiting for the Chassidish person. On the day that he would finally walk by the house with the Arba Minim they’d sneak out of the house- careful not to wake their father- and have the Chossid help them with the Mitzvah.
Her childhood memories of the Yidden of Dubno was fascinating to me and I spent the rest of my time there talking with her.
I’ll never forget the look my family members had on their faces when they finally found me- and even then they literally had to drag me out of the old age home.
On the way home my brother Moshe was bragging at how many seniors he helped with the Mitzvah. Then my other siblings chimed in to say how many people they helped.
“And you Avi”, my father asked, “How many people did you assist”?
With a smirk I said, “Just one…”
Joseph-
They ended up sending us a check for the full price of a new washer since he put in the notes that it was irreparable.
By that time we were already in a routine where once or twice a week my wife would bring the laundry to the laundromat after work, I’d move it to the drier before Mincha and bring it home 45 minutes later after Maariv.
I did remove the timer to show off how easy it would have been to fix it (or even replace it with a used one on eBay). By that time I had already used the motor for a homemade treadmill (only one speed) and my wife was using the tub to clean lettuce. (For those that don’t know me well enough the last sentence was sarcastic.)
It took some time but we did eventually get a new washer.
Joseph-
I’m not going to answer that but I wear the tallis and tefillin.
Joseph-
I don’t know her too well and I have no idea who the guy is. They had already broken up at the time and I doubt that they reconnected.
Heard this from the person who it happened to during the shiva for her father-
The niftar was a senior pediatrician from the practice that we use.
One of his daughters related that after the levaya before the burial she was surrounded by her friends when a guy she recently broke up with popped out of nowhere and said “I felt that I have to be here for you.”
This happened to a former student of mine (I heard it from him)-
He’s driving her back after a great second date (the first one went great as well) when she asks if she can ask him some questions. He agrees.
“So, thinking about your upbringing, can you relate to me a decision that your parents made that you agreed with and a decision that they made that you don’t agree with?”
He was totally caught off guard and was speechless.
She told him that if he didn’t have an answer right away she’ll go on to the next question and he can think about it and give her an answer on the next date.
“So, thinking about your current chavrusa and a former chavrusa, can you tell me something that you like better about your current chavrusa and something you like better about your former chavrusa?”
Again he’s caught off guard and is speechless. She again offers to go on while courteously allowing him to bring an answer to that question as well to the next date.
Without looking up from the road he asked her if she’s reading these questions off a paper or something, but she said that she forgot the list of questions at home so she’s going by her memory.
By the time he got to her house he hadn’t been able to answer a single question of hers but she gracefully allowed him to answer all her questions on a subsequent date.
Unfortunately for her- there was none.
A few weeks later I noticed that he wasn’t by the Mincha that we usually went to and his brother told me that he was on a date.
I sent him a text- “So, thinking about the girl you’re currently dating and a previous girl you dated, tell me something that you like better about this girl and something that you liked better about the other girl?”
He texted back that they both found it hilarious. (They eventually got married.)
This happened to our babysitter-
She started dating fresh out of seminary and got pretty far with the first guy she went out with. He had mentioned to the shadchan that he was ready to get engaged and then reality hit her. She was having a good time on the dates and enjoyed being around him but she felt that she might not be mature enough to get married and take on the responsibilities of raising a family. My wife sent her to speak with a rebbatzin who agreed with her that she wasn’t ready to get married for some time. She then called the shadchan, explained what was going on and said that she needed to end it.
A few months later she saw on a different website that the guy had gotten engaged.
Fast forward some more time.
She’s in Lakewood for Shabbos and hitches a ride back to Flatbush Sunday morning with a distant cousin who’s been married for a few years. When she introduces herself to the husband he has this strange look on his face and asks if she has any older sisters. She answers that she’s the oldest but is totally unsure of what he’s getting at. Then he asked if she has any female cousins with the same last name that are dating and she said that her father doesn’t have any brothers- but she is still unsure of what he’s getting at.
During the ride she’s sitting between their two infants and entertaining them. When the kids fell asleep the husband starts talking and explains that he has a friend that had gone out with someone with the same last name so he just wanted to make sure that it wasn’t her sister or cousin. Since he already confirmed that it wasn’t her older sister or cousin he began to relate to her what this “horrible girl” had done to his friend. “She totally led him on that she was interested in him until he was ready to propose and then she claims that she’s not ready to get married.” So, our babysitter considers jumping out onto the Garden State but figures that the child safety locks are engaged and doesn’t even try. The guy keeps going on and on about how horrible of a person this girl was to his friend and she’s sitting there not knowing what to do.
Finally she breaks the ice and says, “WOW, she really does sound immature! I sure hope your friend finds someone else right away and she stays single until she grows up a little”. She spent the rest of the ride sympathizing with the guy while trashing herself.
Our washing machine was broken and the repair guy was embarrassed to come back to our house (see below for the details*) so we were using the laundromat down the block.
One night my wife asked me if I can run to the laundromat and move our four loads from the washer to the dryer since the cycles were about to finish. I ran out without even taking my phone. I quickly recognized three loads that were clearly ours and moved them to the dryer but I couldn’t decide on the last one. Seeing one washer with a lone white table cloth and 15 seconds left I figured that it must be ours and stood in front of it.
When the machine was done I was mortified as I heard a voice behind me say “if you enjoy watching my table cloth go around and around, I can let you know the next time that I wash
it!”
I was even more mortified when I turned around a realized that it was the same guy that I tried to >>carjack<< many years earlier.*The timer on our washing machine broke and my wife didn’t want me to fix it, even though I’m an expert on >>washing machine timers<< , since it was under warranty. The repair guy came and I explained to him in great detail what was wrong with the timer. He looked at me incredulously and asked sarcastically where I learned how to repair washing machines. When I told him that I leaned it in a >>Yeshiva high school<< he told me to leave it to the experts as he had proper training while I clearly did not.
He sniffed around the machine and diagnosed the problem as a burned out motor. He asked me to assist him in lifting the machine onto cinder blocks so that he can replace the motor. When he was done he asked me to sniff the motor so that I can smell that it was burned out. I mentioned that it smelled like a typical greasy motor so he made sure to point out that that’s why I should trust him and his training- because he’s trained to sniff a burned out motor…
After testing the machine (and almost flooding the basement) he sheepishly asked me if I can help him put the machine back on cinder blocks so that he can reinstall the old motor. He said he’d come back with a new timer for us but he never did.
After a very long, painful intermission
My wife finally gave her permission
I can post today
Then go away
And present my resignation for re-submission.Got permission to come back for today!
Glad to hear that I was missed.
Head over to the Limericks! thread.
My time in the Coffee Room has finally expired.
My screen name is officially being retired.
It was fun,
But I’m done.
If I decide to post again a new SN will be required.There is so much that I have to say,
But I’ve got meetings the whole day,
I hope to be seen
On April Fools 2018,
Since April 1st next year is a Saturday.
I’m about to sign off for a long while
But I ask you all to go the extra mile
if it’s not too much
please keep in touch
My contact info is in my profile.
I’m about to sign off for a long while
But I ask you all to go the extra mile
if it’s not too much
please keep in touch
My contact info is in my profile.
Squeak-
Sorry once again for the bad choice of numbers. I hope no one cracked the code so you weren’t publicly embarrassed.
I’m not even going to try again this year since I’ll have to wait another year to apologize if I offend you again.
This is my only username.
Except for my annual April Fools appearance I have stopped posting.