Dr. Pepper

… but on some airlines they do. LOL

Oy, I know, that’s what I was thinking when he first told me the story.

Where do I start from?

It’s a long story…

The Doc is the oldest of a mid to large size family. There were a handful of siblings dating at the same time; The Doc, his twin brother and two sisters- the older was one year out of seminary and the other was fresh out of seminary. (Another brother was 19 or 20 at the time and wanted to start dating but Dr. Pepper Sr. convinced him to wait.) His twin is very Yeshivish and refused to take any names unless it came from a professional shadchan, and the sisters, being girls, were also also at the mercy of shadchanim.

One particular “professional” shadchan used to set him up with people that were like so not compatible and threaten him that she will not give any names to his siblings unless he went out with so and so. If he still refused she would reach into her grab bag of techniques (including, but not limited to, getting his Rebbe to convince him to change his mind and in one particular case she even called a friend of his who went out with her and told him that as teshuva for saying no to her he has to get him to go out with her).

Saying “NO” after the first date was also very tough. She would say stuff like, “you didn’t give it a fair chance”, and give him a hard time about it. Eventually he decided to act in a way where the girl would for sure say no and he’d be off the hook.

His parents couldn’t figure out what was going on but his younger brother, who either knew everything or knew how to find it out, offered to investigate. He called a friend of his from camp, who was a son of the Shadchan, and came back with the following information. I think it’s highly exaggerated so take it with a grain of salt.

Supposedly there were some rich parents of girls, who were not the brightest, yet they wanted their grandchildren to have a chance. They called this professional shadchan and offered large amounts of money if she could find the smartest guy for their daughter. The parents usually liked what they heard about The Doc; he wanted to learn long term, took davening and sedorim seriously and earned a secular degree so that if need be he’d have a means of supporting a family and he was known in Yeshiva as being a big masmid as well as intelligent and worldly. Poor guy, through no fault of his own he was stuck in the middle of all this. But he came up with hilarious things to do on a date (and he did it all very innocently) to make sure she said no.

With this particular girl, after she said straight out that they were not compatible he was relieved since he thought for sure she was going to say no. For some reason she said yes and they had to go out again. It turned into a soap opera (for no better way to describe it).

I’m pretty sure this happened with the same girl but can’t guarantee it. After he picked her up (it wasn’t the first date) they were deciding where to go and she asked if he could take her to a ball game. He’s really not a baseball fan so he explained that he doesn’t know what time the game would start or even if there is a game that night, and besides even if he could figure out how to get to the stadium and get tickets, a ball game wouldn’t be the best place to get to know each other. She let him get away with it but said, “after we get married I expect you to come with me to games”.

Next she asked him if he weighs over 200 lbs. “Why?” he asked totally shocked. “In one class I’m taking the teacher said we could get 5 extra points on our final if we give blood. I’m not eligible to donate blood for health reasons so he said that if I get someone else to give than I could still get the 5 points.”

“Aha, so why do you need to know if I’m over 200 lbs.?”

“Oh, the brochure said that the minimum weight is 100 lbs. so I was wondering if I brought you and you’re over 200 lbs. than you can give two pints and I’ll get 10 extra points!”

I’ll try to find out some more stuff over Shabbos.

I didn’t say it’s OK, I said what happens.

Have you ever seen a male doctor being asked to watch the kids or make a coffee?

Correct everyone.

Females can be doctors too!

A boy was playing baseball and got injured. As he was being rushed to the hospital someone called the ER doctor and said, “you’re son was injured and we’re bringing him to you right away”.

The boy walked into the ER, looked at the doctor and said, “that’s not my father”.

How is it possible that the boy is the doctor’s son but the doctor is not the boy’s father?

Not sure if The Doc posted this or not (if he did feel free to skip it, I won’t be offended).

He was on a date with a girl he really didn’t want to go out with. The whole time she’s complaining about how she hates her boss because of an incident that happened recently (she only said her side of the story but even from that The Doc felt that she was 100% wrong). They got drinks, he opens his looks under the cap and says, “hey I won a free soda” and she said, “NO! we won a free soda”. (He was speechless, he thought she was about to propose.)

He couldn’t get her to stop complaining about her boss let alone stop talking so he just got up, started walking towards the car, opened the door and let her in.

To his relief after they got into the car she said, “you know, I really don’t think we were meant for each other”.

Later on she needed a tissue so he told her that Dr. Pepper Sr. keeps a travel size tissue box under the passenger seat. He’s not quite sure how this happened since he had his eyes on the road but as she leaned forward to get the tissues she wiped her nose in his jacket. He was very calm and asked if he should get it at the next red light but she said, “it’s OK, I don’t need a tissue any more”.

After he dropped her off he was a “Broiled Pepper” as he described himself and took a long ride around the Belt to let off some steam. After about an hour he was down to a “Red Pepper” and decided to go to Maariv. He walks into shul looking like a “Rotten Pepper” and ran right into her father who was also davening Maariv (and also knew where The Doc was for a few hours that evening and probably figured out who the culprit was that did that to him).

After Maariv he came home and my Mother-In-Law said to him, “that was a nice long date, aren’t you happy you listened to me and took her out!?”. Dr. Pepper Sr. knew something fishy was going on but didn’t quite figure it out until the next morning when he noticed that his sonny boy had put 75 miles on the car, considerably more that the 25 miles or so a trip to Manhattan and back should be.

He ended up going out with her again but that’s another story which will have to wait for a different time.

InShidduchim-

Did outtashidduchim used to be your friend before this whole fiasco?

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/Out+Of+The+Mailbag/15442/Out+Of+The+Mailbag+-+To+YW+Editor+(Stigmas+in+Shiduchim)

Oh do I remember that story-

What a day that was, I’m driving down the street minding my own business when some kid decided that a stop sign is a mere suggestion. I totaled my mothers car, got sent to the hospital, got x-rayed…

I come home to call my kallah and tell her that I’m fine and she feels that it’s the right time (we weren’t even officially engaged yet) to let me know that she’ll be the one wearing the Talis and Tefillin of the house.

chaverim-

Try looking at all of them as limits. For numbers 1 and 3 the graph of the average will bounce lower and lower hitting bottom at 27.0 and 29.5 respectively, eventually as the number of calls whose duration you take into account approaches infinity the “bouncing” will be so small it will level off at 27.0 and 29.5 respectively.

The graph of the average of number 2 “telescopes” around 27 (think of a backwards telescope that extends forever- it goes higher and lower but the “mountains” and “valleys” get smaller and smaller) as you go along towards infinity. As the number of calls whose duration you take into account approaches infinity the “mountains” and “valleys” will level off at 27.0.

squeak-

You need individual data for this, not grouped data.

chaverim-

I’m still not sure what you’re asking.

Sorry 🙁

bein_hasdorim-

I think if you knew him you’d have an easier time believing the whole story.

Do you want to come over for some chulent Friday night?

chaverim-

I’m not sure I’m following you.

There are many different possible values for a “variance of between 1 second and 30 minutes”. (There are also many different possibilities for the mean between 1 second and 30 minutes.)

I would also need parameters for the number of calls. (Feel free to throw in a discrete distribution if you feel it will be a better fit for the data.)

Just out of curiosity- what is your math background?

Glad to hear you are OK.

Keep up the good work.

You might be able to get me to walk around dressed in green but how are you going to make me hold my hand up all day?

In any event you already lost window privileges do you want to lose the privilege of using my screen name?

A little background to the story first.

I’m driving with my mother in an old jalopy when the radiator starts leaking. Mom is all nervous that we’re going to get a ticket for illegal disposal of a toxic chemical (the anti freeze), so I pulled into a parking lot and parked in a spot where the front of the car was over the grassy part of a cement island.

I repeated the story on a date and the girl asked “but didn’t it ruin the grass?”

“Actually not”, I responded sarcastically, “it made the grass even greener than it was before!”.

“Oh, that’s very interesting, I would have thought that the chemicals would kill the grass.”

We ended up getting married but only after I told her I was going to take care of the yard (and oil changes).

havesomeseichel-

From the items you mentioned for being a good girl: how many of them apply before one is married?

“Women must take care of the family, make dinner, raise the kids, and many times work too.” It’s hard to give someone a grade on those items before they are married.

She was born a Red Pepper but her color returned when she stopped screaming. My oldest son was born a Yellow Pepper and we almost had to postpone his bris.

Setting all joking aside, when I was a Little Pepper I got in trouble at school for being a Fresh Pepper and luckily my grandmother was there when I came home. My grandmother, who is a natural ally of mine, told my mother it’s her fault because she used to kiss my feet when I was a newborn.

(Now you know why Bubba maases are called Bubba maases.

Here’s another Bubba maase my grandmother will never let me forget. She keeps telling me that if not for her I’d only be 29 inches tall. When I was a Baby Pepper and playing on the floor someone stepped over me. My hero grandmother chased the person and made them step back over me thus allowing my growth to continue.)

I actually submitted an answer but it didn’t get posted.

I guess it was wrong. 🙁

If I understand your question correctly the table would look like this:

(The charges for Plan A are rounded to the hundreth of a cent.)

Amount of Seconds 	 Plan A 	Plan B	Plan C	Plan A saved over Plan B	Plan A saved over Plan C	Plan A saved over Plan C

1 	 0.02 	0.1	1	83%	98%	90%

2 	 0.03 	0.1	1	67%	97%	90%

3 	 0.05 	0.1	1	50%	95%	90%

4 	 0.07 	0.1	1	33%	93%	90%

5 	 0.08 	0.1	1	17%	92%	90%

6 	 0.10 	0.1	1	0%	90%	90%

7 	 0.12 	0.2	1	42%	88%	80%

8 	 0.13 	0.2	1	33%	87%	80%

9 	 0.15 	0.2	1	25%	85%	80%

10 	 0.17 	0.2	1	17%	83%	80%

11 	 0.18 	0.2	1	8%	82%	80%

12 	 0.20 	0.2	1	0%	80%	80%

13 	 0.22 	0.3	1	28%	78%	70%

14 	 0.23 	0.3	1	22%	77%	70%

15 	 0.25 	0.3	1	17%	75%	70%

16 	 0.27 	0.3	1	11%	73%	70%

17 	 0.28 	0.3	1	6%	72%	70%

18 	 0.30 	0.3	1	0%	70%	70%

19 	 0.32 	0.4	1	21%	68%	60%

20 	 0.33 	0.4	1	17%	67%	60%

21 	 0.35 	0.4	1	13%	65%	60%

22 	 0.37 	0.4	1	8%	63%	60%

23 	 0.38 	0.4	1	4%	62%	60%

24 	 0.40 	0.4	1	0%	60%	60%

25 	 0.42 	0.5	1	17%	58%	50%

26 	 0.43 	0.5	1	13%	57%	50%

27 	 0.45 	0.5	1	10%	55%	50%

28 	 0.47 	0.5	1	7%	53%	50%

29 	 0.48 	0.5	1	3%	52%	50%

30 	 0.50 	0.5	1	0%	50%	50%

31 	 0.52 	0.6	1	14%	48%	40%

32 	 0.53 	0.6	1	11%	47%	40%

33 	 0.55 	0.6	1	8%	45%	40%

34 	 0.57 	0.6	1	6%	43%	40%

35 	 0.58 	0.6	1	3%	42%	40%

36 	 0.60 	0.6	1	0%	40%	40%

37 	 0.62 	0.7	1	12%	38%	30%

38 	 0.63 	0.7	1	10%	37%	30%

39 	 0.65 	0.7	1	7%	35%	30%

40 	 0.67 	0.7	1	5%	33%	30%

41 	 0.68 	0.7	1	2%	32%	30%

42 	 0.70 	0.7	1	0%	30%	30%

43 	 0.72 	0.8	1	10%	28%	20%

44 	 0.73 	0.8	1	8%	27%	20%

45 	 0.75 	0.8	1	6%	25%	20%

46 	 0.77 	0.8	1	4%	23%	20%

47 	 0.78 	0.8	1	2%	22%	20%

48 	 0.80 	0.8	1	0%	20%	20%

49 	 0.82 	0.9	1	9%	18%	10%

50 	 0.83 	0.9	1	7%	17%	10%

51 	 0.85 	0.9	1	6%	15%	10%

52 	 0.87 	0.9	1	4%	13%	10%

53 	 0.88 	0.9	1	2%	12%	10%

54 	 0.90 	0.9	1	0%	10%	10%

55 	 0.92 	1	1	8%	8%	0%

56 	 0.93 	1	1	7%	7%	0%

57 	 0.95 	1	1	5%	5%	0%

58 	 0.97 	1	1	3%	3%	0%

59 	 0.98 	1	1	2%	2%	0%

60 	 1.00 	1	1	0%	0%	0%

for the first minute.

As the amount of seconds approaches infinity the percentage of the amount saved from one plan over another tends to 0.

Take a look at the last 30 seconds of the 10th minute:

Amount of Seconds 	 Plan A 	Plan B	Plan C	Plan A saved over Plan B	Plan A saved over Plan C	Plan A saved over Plan C

5,972 	 99.53 	99.6	100	0%	0%	0%

5,973 	 99.55 	99.6	100	0%	0%	0%

5,974 	 99.57 	99.6	100	0%	0%	0%

5,975 	 99.58 	99.6	100	0%	0%	0%

5,976 	 99.60 	99.6	100	0%	0%	0%

5,977 	 99.62 	99.7	100	0%	0%	0%

5,978 	 99.63 	99.7	100	0%	0%	0%

5,979 	 99.65 	99.7	100	0%	0%	0%

5,980 	 99.67 	99.7	100	0%	0%	0%

5,981 	 99.68 	99.7	100	0%	0%	0%

5,982 	 99.70 	99.7	100	0%	0%	0%

5,983 	 99.72 	99.8	100	0%	0%	0%

5,984 	 99.73 	99.8	100	0%	0%	0%

5,985 	 99.75 	99.8	100	0%	0%	0%

5,986 	 99.77 	99.8	100	0%	0%	0%

5,987 	 99.78 	99.8	100	0%	0%	0%

5,988 	 99.80 	99.8	100	0%	0%	0%

5,989 	 99.82 	99.9	100	0%	0%	0%

5,990 	 99.83 	99.9	100	0%	0%	0%

5,991 	 99.85 	99.9	100	0%	0%	0%

5,992 	 99.87 	99.9	100	0%	0%	0%

5,993 	 99.88 	99.9	100	0%	0%	0%

5,994 	 99.90 	99.9	100	0%	0%	0%

5,995 	 99.92 	100	100	0%	0%	0%

5,996 	 99.93 	100	100	0%	0%	0%

5,997 	 99.95 	100	100	0%	0%	0%

5,998 	 99.97 	100	100	0%	0%	0%

5,999 	 99.98 	100	100	0%	0%	0%

6,000 	 100.0 	100	100	0%	0%	0%

If there’s something I’m not understanding about your question please let me know.

(I’m not sure if I understand what you mean by “how much percent is the average billed savings”.)

I’m not sure if this was mentioned before (and I apologize if it was) but how about the seminaries teaching that it is not important to get married at 19 or 20?

I know this is going off on a tangent with regard to the age gap- but I think it is much harder for a guy to be a “good guy” than for a girl to be a “good girl”.

Waking for shachris at say 7:00 A.M. 6 days a week and say 8:00 A.M. on Shabbos to follow a yeshiva schedule is much harder than getting up for zman krias shma and going back to sleep until zman tfilla for those taking college courses in the late morning or afternoon.

Putting in a full day of serious learning is much harder than “doing Raizel Reit”.

In my opinion there are many girls who would not be “good guys” had they been an guy, yet they wouldn’t consider anyone who’s not a “good guy”.

Littlest Pepper is a girl.

Thanks for the Bracha!

Check out Wikipedia- (under “Beth Medrash Govoha”)

“An exception to the non-dating rule is that the student may continue to date a girl, if he started seeing her before the semester started.”

It also explains the “or else”-

“If a student is found to have broken the rule, the senior faculty will generally not attend the wedding (which is considered an honor), and there may be other disciplinary consequences, such as the suspension of student from Yeshiva indefinitely.”

OOPS-

Wikipedia says that the Freezer is over on Shiva Assar B’tamuz for those entering after Pesach.

Sorry for the confusion.

It’s me, the first Dr. Pepper (besides my father-in-law). “The Doc” only earned his Ph.D. 3-4 years ago. He asked me to take over his user-name for the time being, although he might take it back if he sees what I wrote about in the “Funny Shidduch Stories” thread.

Thanks for the Mazel Tov wishes, littlest Pepper turns 6 moths old today.