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SJSinNYC-

Mazel Tov.

What did you have?

May you and your family be zoche to have an infinite amount of nachas from all your children.

I posted this many months back but it never made it in. I hope it makes it this time.

This isn’t really a shidduch story but it did happen and I found it funny.

Johnny was a bounty hunter for Michael, a bail bondsman. Michael attempts to use the cash payments he’s made to Johnny as a business expense. His CPA explains to him that Johnny has to report it as income and for that he’ll need his SSN. Michael asks Mackenzie, his secretary, to call the number on Johnny’s business card and get his SSN.

Here’s how the conversation went.

Mackenzie: Hi, may I please speak with Johnny?

Voice on the other end: He ain’t here right now!

Mackenzie: And who am I speaking with?

Voice on the other end: Me

Mackenzie: What is your relationship to Johnny?

Voice on the other end: I’m his Momma!

Mackenzie: Well, maybe you can help me. I’m trying to get his SSN for some tax purposes.

Johnny’s Mamma: You ain’t be callin here for Johnny no more or Johnny gonna take you out.

Mackenzie: Oh, that’s so nice of him. It’s been so long since anyone offered to take me out!

Johnny’s Mamma: You ain’t be understandin, Johnny gonna take you out- you ain’t be comin back!

Michael was not able to claim those payments as a business expense.

Ira Heller!

I wasn’t at the Ohel Concert in the late nineties when he sang “My Little One” but I’ve listened (and watched online) to that performance so many times. I heard from someone who was there that he received a standing ovation for over one minute!

I can only try-

I don’t think I’m in any trouble- it’s something we both agreed on; I don’t either know why I was doing it if I wasn’t getting paid!

squeak- I’m still waiting for your review and blurb, then we can talk.

This isn’t really a dating story since it happened while we were married but this wonderful topic has become a mais mitzvah so I’m going to post it anyway.

When I was interviewing for the job I have now I was told that I wouldn’t be allowed to take off for Chol Hamoed. When Pesach came around my supervisor told me that if I have enough off days left he’ll let me take off for the whole Chol Hamoed provided that I log in every morning and answer all e-mails from the previous day. I thought it was very generous but my wife didn’t think it was fair to have to do work on an off day.

For part of Yom Tov we were staying by my parents. One morning my wife came down stairs, sat down on the couch and started talking with my mother and grandmother. After a few minutes she started wondering when I was going to be home from Shachris. My grandmother told her that I already came home and was working in the basement. Looking right at my mother she said, “I really don’t know why he’s doing this if he’s not getting paid for it”. My mother was very taken aback and my grandmother was rolling her eyes while muttering something in Yiddish which my wife didn’t understand.

So my wife came down to the basement to find me but I wasn’t in front of the computer. Then she heard some banging in the laundry room and found me lying under the sink with a whole bunch of tools. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Oh, the faucet was leaking so my mother asked me replace the faulty valve…”

Elmo-

That reminds me of the Sean Ferguson story.

The going rate should be what people are willing to pay.

A friend had to take a physics class and he had to get an A in the class or his chances of getting into the medical school of his choice would be shot. One slight problem- the only physics course available during the summer was calculus based and he never took calculus.

Now tell me- after spending thousands and sweating through a few years of pre med and maintaining a 4.0 GPA in relevant courses- how much would you be willing to pay me per hour for a crash course in calculus? $100 per hour? $200 per hour?

(I didn’t charge him since he was a friend but he took the sessions as serious as if he was paying a few hundred per hour. He got an A and into the school of his choice. He’s also a Dr. now.)

Thinking about Elul Zman…

I was flying to Eretz Yisroel via Toronto (on Air Canada) in the beginning of one Elul Zman.

There were a handful of bochurim from a few different cities on commuter flights flying to Toronto for the major leg of the journey and naturally the twenty or so of us all converged to the same spot in the airport.

Then 4 bochurim from Toronto came to the area where we were waiting- each one carrying a pie of pizza. They told us that they knew that there would be bochurim from other cities on the flight so they brought supper for everyone.

We got drinks, ate, schmoozed and davened Maariv before boarding the flight. We got together again for Shachris but after the plane landed we each went our own way.

As a side point-

A secular person commented to me that he noticed how pleasant such a large group of teenagers were behaving as well as how each and every one of us was dressed so respectfully; wearing shoes, black pants and a button down pressed shirt. (He also pointed out that he never saw a group that size where every single person was wearing glasses!)

This summer, while on vacation I took my wife and kids to the same restaurant we always go to while vacationing in that area.

I felt my kids were old enough this time to explain why I always take them to the same place.

Many years ago, when I was still single, my friends and I went to that same restaurant to eat. We each ordered what we wanted then went to a table to sit and schmooze while we waited for our food to be ready. When our food was ready one of us got up to pick it up from the front.

On the way back to the table he tripped and all the food, including the fries and soda, went all over the floor. The cashier called someone to clean the floor while my friend sheepishly walked to the front to place everyone’s order again.

The owner came out from the back and told the cashier not to charge him for the replacement. As much as he argued the owner stuck to his decision.

“This is my restaurant and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure that everyone who leaves has a positive memory of their meal.”

AZ-

You seem to feel pretty strongly that the crisis can be solved by eliminating the gap. In my opinion we have to look at what is causing the gap.

I know you didn’t like this the last time I mentioned it but I’ll mention it again and I’m willing to have a dialogue with you provided that you keep it diplomatic.

It is much easier for a girl to be “good” than for a guy to be “good”. You want to know who the “not good guys” are marrying since they seem to be getting married? Maybe they are marrying younger girls who are more forgiving and naive.

One girl I went out with insisted that I commit to learning in Kollel full time for three years before going out again (after all that’s what many of her friends got). I definitely hoped to and had plans to (and eventually did) but I didn’t know the future and refused to sign. Six months later we were both single but the next round of girls were home from seminary and many eligible bochurim got married. My selection pool was much larger while hers got smaller.

Had she been right out of seminary she might have been more understanding when I said that I wanted to learn as long as possible, but she already saw that many of her friends had husbands who were learning for a few years and refused to settle for anything less than that for herself.

I’m not saying I know what the solution is but I think the first step in finding the solution is to get at the root(s) of the problem.

1974- Philippe Petit, who snuck into the World Trade Center with a 450 lb box of 3/4 inch cable the night before and took it to the 104th floor in a cargo elevator, schlepped the box up six flights to the roof (a friend helped).

In the early hours of the morning he strung the cable between the two towers.

Shortly after 7:00 he walked out on the rope. For 45 minutes he walked back and forth 7 to 8 times, kneeled, bowed, danced and even lied down on the cable before surrendering to the Port Authority Police.

All charges were later dropped and he was given a free pass to the observation deck of the WTC for life. (He last visited early September of 2001.)

Philippe, who was 6 days shy of his 25th birthday spent 6 years planning and practicing for this stunt.

1974- Philippe Petit snuck into the World Trade Center with a 450 lb box of 3/4 inch cable and took it to the 104th floor in a cargo elevator.

For a class project my sister traced us back to Rashi. From there my father got a tree going back to Dovid Hamelech and then all the way back to Odom Harishon.

He told some loony he met on the subway who claimed that we all come from apes that we can prove we descend from humans but “I have no problem believing that your ancestors are monkeys if you insist”.

When I’m waiting for an elevator and another person comes and has to press the call button even though it’s clearly lit.

(I don’t lose much sleep over this though.)

I hope you don’t feel for a second that your parents don’t have the best intentions in mind for you when they pursue or reject a potential date.

Try to explain to them what you feel is important in a spouse and listen to what they feel is important to them in a son-in-law.

Somewhere out there is that one special person who is perfect for you and your parents.

The longer and harder you have to look for him the more special he’ll be to you and your parents.

Hashem created you with love and he created someone just for you, also with His infinite love.

May you be zoche to find your basherte in the right time.

Yes I can only try, that’s the correct answer.

He assumed it was 8% (4% chance that he was not a carrier + 4% that she is not a carrier = 8%), he happened to be close though.

The method I used was 1 – .96 * .96 = .0784 or 7.84%.

He did not feel it was worth it for such a small chance. I felt that I didn’t have the qualifications to convince him otherwise but I strongly convinced him to speak to a rov (which at first he refused to).

The rov from Dor Yeshorim who told them the news advised them to not speak with each other anymore and any communication between the two of them should go through him, the shadchan or another competent person. For obvious reasons he did not tell the shadchan what happened (he didn’t feel it was right to have the shadchan know that she was a carrier) he just said “thank you” and that he would highly recommend the girl to anyone else but they are not meant for each other.

He found out through the rov that she went for additional testing and he felt he owed it to her to go for the additional testing also.

The results were that they are not compatible.

I don’t know who she is but I heard that she got married.

He is married with some kids.

With 18 numbers the odds would be 1/9,075,135,300.

1	1 in	 36

2	1 in	 630

3	1 in	 7,140

4	1 in	 58,905

5	1 in	 376,992

6	1 in	 1,947,792

7	1 in	 8,347,680

8	1 in	 30,260,340

9	1 in	 94,143,280

10	1 in	 254,186,856

11	1 in	 600,805,296

12	1 in	 1,251,677,700

13	1 in	 2,310,789,600

14	1 in	 3,796,297,200

15	1 in	 5,567,902,560

16	1 in	 7,307,872,110

17	1 in	 8,597,496,600

18	1 in	 9,075,135,300

19	1 in	 8,597,496,600

20	1 in	 7,307,872,110

21	1 in	 5,567,902,560

22	1 in	 3,796,297,200

23	1 in	 2,310,789,600

24	1 in	 1,251,677,700

25	1 in	 600,805,296

26	1 in	 254,186,856

27	1 in	 94,143,280

28	1 in	 30,260,340

29	1 in	 8,347,680

30	1 in	 1,947,792

31	1 in	 376,992

32	1 in	 58,905

33	1 in	 7,140

34	1 in	 630

35	1 in	 36

36	1 in	 1

I can only try-

I used a grid also, but each time I filled in a piece of info I wrote an explanation to justify it.

Josephf-

I was planning on writing an explanation for each step of the way, not a table.

Josephf-

I actually solved it before. Around 12 years ago, when I was in Israel, a Rebbi gave me a Jewish version of the puzzle which his kid needed solved for extra credit. (The kids teacher probably needed it solved for his own kid but that’s a whole different chad gadya…)

Instead of different nationalities it was names like Chaim, Moshe, Tzvi, Eliyahu and Dovid…

Writing out the whole logic would take too long but it is doable.

Do you just want the answer?

No, Josephf asked it about 7 months and one week ago.

But I remembered it on my own.

startling

starling

staring

string

sting

sing

sin

in

I

They are part of a set of triplets, quadruplets or higher multiple birth.

Many years ago I was walking with two of my sisters when someone stopped us and said, “are the three of you twins?”.

One sister said, “No, triplets”.

With all respect to the opinion of the one who wrote the article;

I read/ heard recently about the life of the first kollel yungerman of the yeshiva. (As a side point- he never left the yeshiva, he went on to work for the yeshiva for the rest of his life. When he passed away he was also the person with the longest affiliation with the yeshiva).

What I found very interesting was the amount of mesiras nefesh he put in, not only for his own learning but for the well being of the yeshiva. Besides for learning a full day in the yeshiva, during bain hasedorim he would ride his bike to different hotels in the area (he didn’t own a car) and raise money from the Jewish people vacationing at the hotel. (This was in the 1940s when kollel was virtually unheard of in the U.S. Imagine how hard it was to explain to people on vacation what he was raising money for.)

He supported his growing family on the meager stipend the yeshiva provided at the time. That was sincere mesiras nefesh for learning.

When his kids got older he moved them to New York where they would not have to attend a coed school. He commuted to Lakewood during the week and back to New York for the weekends until the yeshiva opened the New York office and he got a job there.

I’m curious to know if the writer did any research for the article.

Contrary to what the author wrote- Lakewood was a resort town when Reb Aaron Kotler decided that he wanted his yeshiva located there. He wanted it at least three hours away from the distractions of New Yrok (as Squeek hinted to above). It was not “established with the Yeshivah at its core to accommodate bnei Torah”. With no separate schools, Lakewood was definitely was not a place “to raise their families in an atmosphere of Torahdike hashkafos and dikduk hamitzvos”.

I hope I don’t get in trouble for writing this but from what I understand the purpose of the yeshiva was for bochurim/ yungerleit to learn for a few years with all their needs provided and no responsibilities to distract their learning. In the early days of the yeshiva the bochurim were not charged tuition for that reason. Reb Aaron, if I remember correctly, was against talmidim taking support from the government for then the time one was able to spend in yeshiva would seem infinite and the talmidim wouldn’t give it “their fullest” compared to if they knew they only had 6 to 12 months left and they had to “chap arayn”.

As this is a sensitive issue, I sincerely hope I did not offend anyone. Please forgive me if I did.

That was a great story ames. Thanks for sharing it.

The Doc and I were laughing so hard when we read it together last night.

He actually felt bad that someone outdid his proposal but I’m actually relieved that he didn’t think of that. 🙂