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A Gentile was moving in nearby and I went over to introduce myself. He told me that he was having some last minute work done before he moved in on Friday.
Friday morning I was driving home and spotted a parking spot right in front of his house. I parked there, went into his house, asked a construction worker for his phone number and let him know that when the moving truck comes he can call me and I’ll move the car. (This would give the workers room to carry the furniture straight into the house instead of going to the end of the block first.)
Fast forward a few years.
Erev Tisha B’Av I’m walking to work and I see this neighbor helping his friend jump start a car. I stopped to help and after we got the car started the owner asked why I stopped if I don’t even know him.
My neighbor answered- “Wait til you hear what he did for me the day I moved in… I actually saved a few hundred dollars since I was paying the movers by the hour and they had to carry the furniture a much smaller distance”.
Can you describe the problem? Maybe some of us here can help.
I recently had a problem with an air- conditioner and was told that it’s not worth repairing (it’s a window unit and the price of a repairman to come into the house was more than the value of the AC).
A neighbor explained what the problem was and I was able to fix it myself for a few dollars.
I heard a speaker say this to teenage bochurim-
(You may want to replace the first instance of the word “problem” with “interest”, it’s a softer tone but it doesn’t fit as well.)
“Every male has a problem with females, any male who says otherwise is either lying or has a bigger problem.”
H-shem created this desire in the interest of keeping the population going for generations to come.
My wife was at the speech for teenage girls where the following was said, “There is a difference between being attractive and being attracting. While every girl could and should look attractive, acting in an attracting manner is a serious lack of tznius.”
By the same idea, girls should be fine going for walks and schmoozing with friends. Standing in front of one location for an extended period of time, while socializing and laughing in a loud manner should be discouraged.
Both are strictly forbidden- however, if one murders we are supposed to judge that person favorably that they have repented. When one takes their own life there usually isn’t any time to repent.
myfriend- Let’s say you’re approaching a yellow light and you notice someone is tailgating you. If you make a short stop and are rear ended- the person in the back is 100% liable. Being that you were involved in an accident you have the right to sue. Depending on how much you are asking for the insurance company may settle out of court for a modest amount. This is not what insurance is intended for. Now, assuming that you did not misrepresent anything, where is the fraud?
Legally there is nothing wrong with this, ethically there is. Payments caused by behavior like this, while legal, bring up the premiums for all policy holders.
Same with government benefits. While technically it is legal to put yourself in a situation where you will be legally entitled to benefits, it is ethically wrong as that is not what it is intended for (and you bring up the taxes for the ordinary hard working people).
I have no problem with anyone who is trying hard to make ends meet yet legitimately needs government help from using it.
As far as saying that “Government benefits were not designed to be used in financial planning” is “baloney” based on “legal advertised financial planners who will advise how to utilize Medicare, Medicaid, etc”, I’m going to disagree with you for three reasons.
1- Just because someone advertises- doesn’t mean that everything they do is legal. There are lawyers who advertise on the subway, does that mean that if they misrepresent the facts to get a larger settlement that it is legal? After all, they did advertise legally.
2- I never said it was illegal, I said that it’s not what it was meant for.
3- Are those advertisements geared towards college age students trying to convince them to drop out and live off the government, or towards families that need government help? Hopefully to families that already need the services.
myfriend-
I don’t see where SJSinNYC has a holier than thou attitude.
Let’s take a different scenario for example. Would you advise someone to make a short stop when they see a tailgater behind them so that they can claim whiplash and collect a large insurance payout?
Why not? Lot’s of other people do it, and besides the money can be used to support someone in learning. Also, after paying premiums for car insurance for so many years one is entitled to get back many times more than they paid. Right?
Just as insurance payments are intended for people who are legitimately injured or otherwise damaged in an accident (not those who put themselves in that situation to make money off the company) so too government benefits were designed for people who fall into a situation where they are trying hard to make ends meet but can’t. Government benefits were not designed to be used in financial planning.
The excuses that “everyone else does it”, “I paid taxed I’m entitled to it” or that “the money is going to support someone in learning” doesn’t make it right.
says who-
My brother has 4 kids. I don’t know the exact amount he pays for tuition but it is considerably less in Lakewood than in NY. (He also said that no one in Lakewood gets tuition breaks since then no one would pay tuition. I’m not sure how that works though.)
As far as being the only one to be a fool and not take money which wasn’t intended for them- you’d probably consider me to be a fool. If a store doesn’t charge me sales tax, I insist on paying by credit card so they are forced to charge the sales tax, otherwise I will not make the purchase. When our bank made a mistake in our favor I made numerous phone calls to fix the error and give them back the money which was not rightfully mine. When I had car repairs done on our car I offered to repay the insurance company for prior damage that was repaired.
I didn’t do this do save the government, bank or insurance company from going bankrupt, I did it so after 120 years I can honestly say that to the best of my ability I never took money from anyone that wasn’t intended for me.
SJSinNYC-
I mentioned this earlier on in the thread. My brother, who learns and lives in Lakewood, doesn’t receive any benefits from the government, or get any financial support from my parents or his in-laws. My sister-in-law has a degree from a diploma mill and probably makes the same salary as a teacher.
My brother said this is possible because he goes to a morning kollel that pays, receives a monthly stipend from the yeshiva, takes tests on what he learns to earn some extra cash, tutors, and goes to a night kollel that pays. (You may consider this a side job?)
When we visit our parents together I’m always jealous of how much time he spends learning, both in the house and at shul, and wish I could learn as serious as he does.
Sorry I left out the most amazing part…
Aside from his grades and family, this kid was overweight and I can only imagine how he played sports- yet when he described his classmates he seemed to be pretty popular for someone who didn’t have too much going for him.
I have a hunch that the parents of the other boys in the class asked their sons to include this kid in their games and social plans.
Had this kid not have had any friends in school I don’t think he would have had a chance.
I have a similar story to the second one.
When I was single I was asked to tutor (for free) a boy who was written off as helpless. Since it required zero preparation- or so I thought- and my personal expenses at the time were $10 a week I agreed.
The neighbor making the request explained that the boy comes from an abusive home- he gave me the details but it’s not worth repeating- and has no trust in adults. Even though he has no potential I would still be doing him a favor by getting him away from his house for an hour a day and by being there as an adult who he could trust. He did have great Rabbeim but they didn’t have the ability to give him the personalized attention he needed.
His mother gave me a long list of learning disabilities he has which prohibit him from retaining anything he learns. His Rebbe explained that even though he doesn’t know a thing of what they learn the school doesn’t leave him back since it won’t help (and at least this way he gets to socialize with kids his age).
I was told not to request him to do anything or correct him when he is wrong since he will take them as personal attacks.
On the first day he asked if he could read the translation of the Gemora from the English. Little by little, as the trust built up, I was able to correct him when he had the wrong translation or p’shat. One day, after reading a whole omud perfectly he closed his Gemora. “What are you doing?” I asked. To my astonishment, he said the whole omud by heart, word for word.
His mother later told me that for the first time in years his Rebbe actually filled out his report card, and his grades were in the 90s!
Next his mother asked me if I know anyone in yeshiva who could help her son in math since he wanted to learn how to tell time (on an analog clock). I told her I’d be happy to help him. After teaching him fractions he taught himself everything else and caught up to his class.
As it turns out, he was actually a very intelligent boy who never had a chance given his surroundings. I continued to tutor him just to get him out of his house.
This went on for three years, form 6th grade to the end of 8th grade. In 8th grade he applied to a respected yeshiva and was accepted but unfortunately his father didn’t let him go. His mother and siblings moved out of the neighborhood shortly afterwards and I saw them once and only for a few seconds since. (They came back to visit and were stopped by a red light as I crossed. His mother rolled down the window to say “hi” and thanks for everything. He was in the passenger seat and looked confident, much better than the scared boy he used to be.)
blinky-
Your teacher sounds like a teacher my sister-in-law had.
She was all excited at how easy it sounded to marry a long term learner and have everything fall into place all by itself. Her teacher claimed that her part time job supports her husband who learns full time and their family. They already made a few weddings, they receive no benefits from the government and they don’t owe anyone a cent.
My wife explained to her sister that since her teacher was only part time she was not eligible to receive health insurance from the school. From the amount of hours she teaches, it would be surprising if her paycheck covered more than the health insurance costs.
So my sister-in-law respectfully asked to speak with her teacher privately about her finances. The teacher agreed saying she had nothing to hide. After confronting her with the numbers she admitted that the school pays her much more than the average teacher and that she and her husband both have their own side jobs. The rest of the story unraveled after that.
However well meaning the teacher was, I think she took it a little too far with her naive students.
Please don’t get me wrong, I strongly advocate full time learning for those that are capable of taking it seriously and I would have no problem with a community supporting those whose learning is worth supporting. But please, don’t just take the teachers word- it’s not as easy as it sounds.
One of my brothers learns full time and gets no support from my parents, his in-laws or the government. His wife has one of those college educations without stepping foot in college.
He told me that aside from his kollel paycheck he goes to a morning kollel that pays extra, found a place that will pay him if he passes bechinas on what he learns and goes to a night kollel that also pays extra. (He probably also tutors on the side for some more cash.)
I have sent him some money in the past when unexpected expenses came up but not on a regular basis.
Keep in mind that he was serious about his learning from when he was born and he is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.
My advisor at college- I don’t know why he did this for me since he’s not even Jewish, but I’ll always be grateful to him for this.
I first met him when I was considering transferring to a different college. One summer day I was checking out the college I wanted to switch to and I spoke to a random professor (who happened to have his office door open) about the curriculum. After showing him my transcripts and talking in “math” he said “you know, you’re the kind of student that makes this college proud, I sure hope you make the change”.
Sure enough, I enrolled in that college and was surprised to see that he was assigned to me as my advisor (I still don’t know if he had anything to do with it or not).
Some time later, he informed he of the last high level math course which I needed in order to graduate- and he was teaching the course. The day before the final I was in an accident and couldn’t be at the final. I got married right afterwards and couldn’t make up the final in time to get a passing grade instead of an incomplete.
Since that was the last math course I needed I hadn’t spoken to him in some time when he called me out of the blue to tell me that he was teaching the course again. He also informed me that since I waited too long the incomplete changed to an F. On the positive side, he was promoted to chairman of the mathematics department, and he has the authority to change my fail to a pass (otherwise I’d still have the F on my GPA) and waive the tuition fee for the course. All I had to do was retake the final- at home and at my convenience- and fax it back to him by a certain date.
I still don’t know why he took such an interest in me and went out of his way like that.
He had a heart attack shortly afterwards and I called the department all the time to see how he was doing. I was pleased to hear one day that he was well enough to prove the quadratic equation to all those visiting him. I them called him to thank him for everything.
All he asked for in return was for me to keep up with him.
Every child is different and each case should be looked at individually.
We were told at the end of last year that since the youngest kid in the class was being left back in kindergarten our daughter was going to be the youngest. Then the school suggested that we leave her back since she would now be the youngest.
As we weighed the pros and cons we were leaning towards keeping her back but there were some “issues” with the incoming class. In the end we had her evaluated professionally and was told not to leave her back. (She scored very high on the IQ test and we were told that if we leave her back she will be very bored in class. She had a very productive year and we are happy with the decision.)
Lot’s of parameters involved.
Male or Female, Driving record, Zip code the car will normally be parked in…
Call an insurance company for a free quote.
Feif Un-
Shkoyach on sending out the letter- but like I was told years back- don’t hold your breath waiting for a response.
In the era that I sent my letter the Internet was in its infancy and one couldn’t perform a simple Google search. Once I did a Google search on this person I felt much better that I wasn’t the only one on the receiving end of his uncontrollable temper and calculating revenge.
Still, I’m not able to forgive this person with a full heart and every Erev Yom Kippur I put in a special request that he doesn’t get punished because of me (I just feel that it’s the right thing to do, and I wouldn’t want his kids to be affected).
Ironically, it was my “special” connections that started this whole thing. Without getting into the connections- this person despised me that he wasn’t able to punish me and he plotted revenge. It ended up backfiring anyway.
Over a decade later it ended up haunting him when he needed a new position and he tried to become the rov in a small community. His wife already had a job and his kids were enrolled in nearby schools. One of the members of the community- a former victim of his- rallied all the members to vote against him, even pleading that he would have to leave the community if the person was elected.
One of the board members contacted me and asked if I had similar experiences. I had no interest in revenge, but I wanted to protect the community. Not knowing what to do I declined to answer. He lost the vote anyway. (In a different community he wanted to lead he lost the vote 93% to 7%.)
… or the president of the United States.
A large bank was laying off many employees, including the person that was supposed to remove all the employees from payroll.
This employee went back to her native Japan and the minute her “paycheck” was deposited she had it transferred to a local bank.
18 months and $20,000,000 later the bank caught on that something happened. They quickly stopped the payments and created a team to collect as much of the money as possible.
They called one guy who was furious and was giving them a hard time, he said the money was all spent.
“What did you spend all that money on?”
“A second home and a luxury car.”
“Well, we might have to confiscate them.”
The guy burst out laughing so hard he couldn’t talk. After calming down he explained that he just got divorced and his ex-wife got the other home and the new vehicle “so you’re welcome to take the title of both of them if you wish”.
(I heard this story from the vice president of the department that was supposed to collect as much money as they could.)
Feif Un-
I also don’t agree with myfriend. A gadol once told me that being in chinuch is like being a neurosurgeon with more responsibility. If a neurosurgeon make a mistake C”V the patients life can be lost, if a mechanech makes a mistake C”V not only can that talmid be lost but also all future generations.
Just like before doing any surgery a doctor will get a second and third opinion and discuss the procedure with the patient and family, how much more so a mechanech should first discuss the “surgery” with other mechanchim and the parents.
I’m not sure how much I can help you with the letter but I remember being told that one should emphasize more on the pain being felt than on attacking the one who caused it.
Again, I wish you the best of luck.
It all depends on what you plan on gaining.
If you’re interested in an apology, let’s face it, you’re probably not going to get one.
If you’re trying to get back at him, it’s not worth it, don’t bring yourself down to his level.
If you think you might need to use him as a reference somewhere down the road, then maybe, but speak with a rov first.
I was in a similar situation once and I asked my Rosh Hayeshiva what to do. He advised against making any contact but if I insist he will help me write a letter, but he guarantees that I will not receive a response. Sure enough I wrote the letter and didn’t receive any response.
I then asked my mashgiach what to do and he also advised against making any contact. He did say though that if when I get married, have kids and a full time job I am still interested in making contact then I should feel free to. (I have no interest anymore.)
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
gavra_at_work-
The tests are challenging but they can be done. If you plan on learning in Kollel for a few years make sure you still get a secular degree on the side, finding a job nowadays is very competitive and not having a secular education will hurt you.
But it is a good profession for those just leaving Kollel as staring salary is in the $60,000 (plus benefits) a year range for one exam and zero experience.
From what I hear they recently removed calculus from the first two exams, but don’t be fooled! They assume that you know calculus and it will be on later exams.
HIE-
The problem with taking too many exams before any work experience is that employers are wary that a new hire will be overqualified for a job. In other words, the new hire will be jealous that others with the same amount of exams have more responsibility and get paid more. Insurance companies spend a vast amount of resources training the new actuaries and they are concerned that the new hire will always be looking for new opportunities somewhere else.
If you are seriously interested I highly suggest you speak with an actuary while you are in college so that you can take the relevant courses.
HIE- I decided when I was 12 and never regretted it.
My math teacher back then was very arrogant and he told me and my parents that I would never “make it in life” if I went into anything math related. He also told us that that he would never be able to pass the first actuarial exam.
At that moment I decided I wanted to be an actuary even though I didn’t know what it was. I’m very happy with the decision.
Kasha-
“diagnosing a good law abiding citizen as a future serial killer”
He didn’t diagnose him- read my post again, he said he had the “potential” to become a serial killer.
Would you diagnose a 6’8″ yeshiva bochur as a future basketball player? Or would you say he has the potential of being a basketball player based on his height.
Most probably this guy turned out to be a very fine husband, father and law abiding citizen. However, from his handwriting the teacher was able to see that he was-
1. Very smart,
2. Very respectful to others,
3. Very meticulous at planning ahead,
4. Very careful at covering his tracks,
5. Stuck in the past on something (possibly abuse),
6. Very secretive about something and
7. Full of stress that had to be relieved somehow-
many of the character traits of a serial killer.
artchill-
Interesting you mention this.
I was recently having having a discussion with a neighbor regarding the veracity of graphology.
While I never studied graphology (or had any interest) in it, we had a teacher in high school who claimed he was an expert graphologist. We brought him handwriting samples from guys in other grades (who he had no interaction with) and his diagnostics were very accurate.
One person he said “had the potential to be a serial murderer”. Some of the characteristics (amongst many) were:
1. Stuck on an incident in the past,
2. Never revealed the incident to anyone (letting the anger build up) and
3. Constantly, but silently, under stress.
The list continues but I don’t want to get off the main topic.
The scary thing was- this guy was popular and outgoing, had lots of friends, was good in sports and got good grades. He was every parents’ dream son.
WolfishMusings-
If a person is blind I think we both know how it could affect a relationship.
If a person is not a carrier for a particular disease, the status of that persons’ spouse is irrelevant, so there is no need to inform her.
Letting it be known that members of his family are carriers may create a stigma against the family for a trivial reason.
(Do you honestly feel that everyone would give the same chance to a known carrier as to one whose status is unknown?)
Another case I know of personally- this has nothing to do with Dor Yeshorim, I was consulted to interpret the statistics from the different geneticists involved- the mother of a potential spouse was concerned about the possibility of the other family having the genes for a genetic disease.
Despite the fact that the geneticists were able to prove 100% (not close to 100% but actually 100%) that the disease was a fluke and not hereditary, and despite her family being told by their rov and their own geneticists that not only should they go ahead with the shidduch, but if their own children were in the same situation they would also go for it- they broke it off.
(Interestingly enough, due to the extensive genetic testing, had they gotten married the chances of them having any children with the same disease would have been less than another couple in the general population.
I explained that according to their [distorted] mathematics, the chances of them having a child with the disease was one in 8,000,000,000 (8 billion), the mother explained that she would like her daughter to have 10 kids like she did so the overall odds are only one in 800,000,000 (8 hundred- million).)
oomis1105- My experience with Dor Yeshorim is limited to the two cases I personally know and one conversation with a frum doctor who is associated with Dor Yeshorim (I do not know what his title is or what his role is).
The first case I mentioned some time back in a different thread. A couple was about to get engaged but the Dor Yeshorim results came back positive for them for the same disease. They were told which disease it was and advised that there is a 4% chance of a false positive for both of them (hence a 7.84% chance that they are still compatible) and that they can take a 100% accurate test for $500. (They did and were not compatible.) I guess it’s possible that if there is no chance of a false positive by a particular disease they might not say which disease it is.
The second case was where a couple found out that they were carriers after they were married and were told to stay married. A relative, who knew he was not a carrier but his siblings possibly were, was told that it is Loshon Hora about his family to disclose it to anyone, including his wife. (She found out later but did not hold it against him since he was following his rov.)
A neighbor of ours received a letter from a geneticist which they thought said that their baby had one of the diseases that Dor Yeshorim tests for and they were both tested. They asked me to call a frum doctor who was associated with Dor Yeshorim and speak with him. (As it turns out- they both misread the letter, the letter actually stated that their baby did not have that genetic disease.) This doctor told me that the mission of Dor Yeshorim is not to make people “unmarriageable” but to prevent carriers from marrying each other. There are diseases where one parent being a carrier is enough to pass the disease to a child, but Dor Yeshorim doesn’t test for that since it renders the person unmarriageable.
Apparently they feel that one may be prevented from marrying if it becomes known that they are a carrier.
I can only try-
We discussed once (I’m too lazy to link it) that equations to a mathematician are like tools for a plumber. When you are shown a solution it looks easy but without training you wouldn’t know which tools to use.
This, you said, was why plumbers charge so much- they have the experience to look at a problem and fix it. So, in essence you are paying for his experience and not his work.
As far as earning an Erd?s number of 5- there was a rumor that Hank Aaron earned an Erd?s number of 1- by signing a baseball with Paul Erd?s.
Josh31-
At a restaurant with my wife recently we were showed a table and a waitress came to take our order, that was the last time we saw her. We then had to wash the silverware ourselves since it was dirty. A different waiter brought us our food, we had to get up ourselves to get more water, ask someone to remove our plates when we were done, ask for the dessert menu and get the bill. “At least we saved some money because we don’t have to tip” joked my wife.
“Nope”, I responded, “they are one step ahead of us, they included an 18% tip in the bill”.
Had the tip not been included automatically we would have received different service.
(We still go back since we like the food. On our last visit the waiter tried to remember our order and got it all wrong, but the food was good anyway.)
I was never a waiter in camp but when I worked in a camp I got up early to daven with the waiters (with all the distractions that go on with making sure your young campers are sitting, behaving and davening during davening I thought I could have more kavannah if I daven earlier with the waiters).
These individuals have to get up earlier than other staff members, set up and clean up after three meals a day and they only get noticed if something goes wrong.
Waiters definitely deserve a tip.
oomis1105-
I agree that people should be allowed to know their status if they desire but keep in mind that Dor Yeshorim is subsidized and this is how they decided to run it. As far as they are concerned- you can go to a lab (pay full price) and asked to be tested for whatever genetic disease you would like to know the status of.
I know of a large family where the two parents got tested by a lab and got the results. They found this cheaper than each of their 10 kids getting tested through Dor Yeshorim.
Who ever runs it feels that there are reasons why it is better for one not to know their status that outweigh the reasons to know it. One obvious reason is the stigma that will be associated with any person/ family that is a carrier. (One rumor I heard is that if a couple both know they are carriers, get married anyways and R”L have a child with the genetic disease, the insurance company can claim it was a pre-existing condition.)
If a potential couple is found to be incompatible they are notified as to which disease they are both carriers of. The reason being is that there is a false positive result in a small percentage of cases (4% in the case I am familiar with) and the potential couple can go for genetic counseling and have more expensive tests done ($500 each in that instance) that have a much higher accuracy rate.
I can only try-
That’s the answer the I got. Here’s how I did it:
For the two machines, let’s call them x and y, plot their lives on a 15 * 15 graph with the life of x on the x-axis and the life of y on the y-axis. Draw a 45 degree angle line from the origin to 15,15 to show the possible places where x can break down. (It’s a straight line since any point in time has an equal probability of the machine breaking down there.)
Now draw two more 45 degree angle lines, the first should be shifted one unit to the left of the first line and the other one should be shifted one unit to the right of the first one. The area created by those two lines and bounded by the 15 * 15 graph is 1-196/225 = 12.88889%.
The way I calculated the area is by first calculating the “negative” area and subtracting. On the outside there are two triangles with the same area. Each is a right triangle with legs of length 14. the area is (14 * 14)/2, therefore the are of both triangles is 14 * 14 = 196. The total area of the graph is 15 * 15 = 225. Subtracting the triangles from the graph gives us 1 – (196/225) = 12.888889%.
Do you want to publish a paper on this with me? You can earn an Erd?s number of 5.
moishy asked for “interesting and/or funny stories”. Funny Shidduch Stories is a subset of interesting and/or funny stories.
I felt that if he wants to have a good laugh while waiting for others to post interesting and/or funny stories he could start there.
Here’s one-
One Erev Shabbos, my brothers and I went to visit a former neighbor who was not Frum and wasn’t doing to well physically. He had recently moved to an upscale non-frum neighborhood and they weren’t used to seeing Frum people around.
After we wished him a Gut Shabbos and left a neighbor came running out of his house and said “were you just here for Steve?” after we nodded yes he started crying, “I can’t believe it, I just saw him and he looked so good, I can’t imagine how it happened so fast, oy, his poor wife and kids…”. We had no idea what he was talking about until he asked where the hearse is.
We then realized that there is only one time when he sees frum people in suits. He then warned us that if we ever pull that prank again we had better be wearing ties with Mickey Mouse on it so that he knows we are not the real ones.
Health- I totally agree with you, that’s why Dor Yeshorim works the way it does. Even being a carrier is a stigma when there is nothing to worry about if the other partner is not a carrier.
The reason why we are behind the goyim is because of the modest way we go about finding a spouse. If a guy is given five names and information of potential dates and one of them has a “stigma”, she will immediately be eliminated.
If the goyim would date the same way as us there would be the same stigmas.
I can only try-
Sorry, but you started off wrong, a uniform rate over fifteen years means that it can not survive past fifteen years. The odds of both machines breaking down in the fifteen year period is 100%.
oomis1105-
I always tried to go out of my way to make sure that I would not offend anyone that I went out with. (I dreaded the thought of calling them on Erev Yom Kippur to ask for forgiveness.)
On more than one occasion I agreed to go on a second date with a girl so that she wouldn’t think I was saying no because of her looks.
However, the first time a shadchan told me that the girl was thin and pretty, and that was clearly not the case, I admit that I was taken aback and I sincerely hope she did not notice. I did take her out on a second date and then said I felt she wasn’t for me.
After that I was always prepared in case the girl wasn’t as described.
I sure hope I didn’t hurt the girls feeling but if I did the shadchan is the one responsible.
Once they break that is it, they are not fixed or replaced.
Squeak & sofdavarhakolnishma,
When she said the word “tip” she meant “advice”, he thought she meant good old Ben Franklin. I don’t think she was trying to tease him.
Slight tangent-
A friend on mine was telling me how annoyed he was that he barely got any tips. He was thrilled when a mother dropping off her son said, “Hey Moishy, do you want to come here for a second- I have a tip for you?”.
He hurried over and she then lifted up her sons shirt, pointed to his back and said “If I ever forget to send suntan lotion again please let him wear his undershirt for swimming”.
Back to the main topic…
WolfishMusings-
I definitely did not mean to make a confrontation or be disrespectful, you just have understand that in high school I always had a calculator on me (besides for Shabbos and if I was wearing pajamas that didn’t have pockets). I routinely whipped it out during class (both Limudei Kodesh and Limudeo Chol) with out thinking. The Rebbe got defensive because he knew that he made it up on the spot.
Had I been a person that normally did not take a calculator everywhere I would not have brought one just to put him on the spot.
I long suspected that a Rebbe of mine made up gematrias as he went along (after all who can mentally add up the gematria of a possuk and challenge him). I once whipped out a calculator and started adding up the words he was quoting, he got all defensive and said “put that away, this is Limudei Kodesh, not Limudeo Chol”.
The moral of the story, I believe, is that people feel they will have more credibility if they quote something that more than 99% of the population will not be able to refute on the spot.
All the information needed to solve the problem is there. The rate that they break down is uniform over 15 years (in other words, there is no day where it is more likely to break than any other day).
I hope this answers your question.
A company has two new machines, the probability of either one breaking is uniformly distributed over 15 years (it has the same chance of breaking after half a year as it does after 15 years).
What is the probability of the two machines breaking within a year of each other?
Hint: It is easier to calculate the chances of them not breaking within a year of each other and subtracting that from 1.
While at the Brooklyn Marriott a couple of years back for the Lakewood Dinner my friend asked one of his single sisters to come with him on a “date” to the lounge to see how many guys will date at the Brooklyn Marriott while the yeshiva is having the dinner there.
They saw three other couples.
speaktruth-
I meant that just like campers shouldn’t say things that make the staff member feel uncomfortable so too the staff member shouldn’t say things that will make the campers feel uncomfortable.
How do you think I felt? Was it my fault that my parents were tipping one week later than the other parents? It’s not as if I had my own money when I was a preteen.
I didn’t want to offend all Kohanim and red heads so I just left it to your imagination.
(The shadchan also asked if her first name bothers him but I didn’t mention that so that anyone else with that name wouldn’t feel self conscience about it.)
Shadchan: “Does your son mind red heads? Because if he does the girl is willing to wear a different color sheitel after the wedding?”
Mom: “I don’t know, I never asked him.”
Shadchan: “Can you ask him and let me know?”
Mom: “Sure, anything else?”
Shadchan: “Oh yeah, come to think of it, is your son a Kohain?”
Mom: “Yes”
Shadchan: “Oh, in that case never mind, her mother said it’s not good for a Kohain to marry a red head!”
I felt very awkward giving a tip to a teenage girl at my kids’ day camp so I gave it to my kids to give to them (they are not the type of kids to hold the tip hostage).
It also goes the other way. One summer I was going home for the weekend after visiting day so my parents didn’t come up on visiting day. My counselor mentioned to me that I should “remember to bring something back” for him. And no, he did not mean a burger from Kosher Delight.