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Here’s one that really ticked me off (without the shadchan actually giving me a hard time).
One Purim a guy came to her house stone drunk to give her Mishloach Manos. While she was preparing one for him he couldn’t resist the urge to go to her computer and copy her “shadchan” folder onto a floppy drive, which he later posted on the internet.
When he sobered up and realized that what he did was wrong, he removed the files but not before I downloaded them. There were three files in the folder, Bochurim.doc, Girls.doc and Outcome.xls all of which were time stamped recently.
Let’s take a break for a second- I am not blaming the shadchan for what happened so far, the guy admitted he was totally wrong and I hope everyone agrees. I opened up the two Word files and the information I knew about the guys matched as well as the information about the girls that she tried setting me up with (there were some names on the list that I never heard of though). I never opened the Outcome file, as tempting as it was, nor did I ever share these files with anyone.
So someone made an anonymous call to a Rov about this incident, asking if the Rov could call the shadchan to take measures to insure this incident could never happens again.
The shadchan denied the whole incident. She claimed that she has a different computer in a different room that is password protected and she is the only one with the password. She also NEVER lets any of her kids (or anyone else for that matter) use her computer.
adorable-
Both.
Some posters have said, “What’s the big deal? if the girl isn’t what you are looking for, just say ‘no’ and it’s over with”. Nothing could be further than the truth.
I’m not sure if this is the proper thread for Shadchanim horror stories but if no one minds I’ll post some of them here.
Pac-Man-
The next time we went we checked and on the menu it says in small letters that 18% gratuity is added. Since we were expecting it we watched the incompetence of the staff and got a kick out of it.
Please don’t get sidetracked though, the main point of what I was saying was that people will work harder when there is competition and their compensation depends on performance. Not when customers are throwing money in their direction.
Droid-
I could never tell. I probably laughed at some serious stuff that he said.
real-brisker-
He didn’t just save that receipt, he saved everything, and in an organized manner. It was fascinating looking back at all the stuff from 70 to 80 years ago that most people wouldn’t have bothered saving.
The hardware store was around the corner and looked like it was there for many years. I can’t guarantee that it was the same company (I didn’t look) but it looked like a standard switch.
IUseBrains-
Just because people are paid more doesn’t mean they do a better job. Look at union employees for starters.
My wife and I went out to eat once. After taking our order we never saw the waitress again. One of us had to go to the kitchen to get the food, keep refilling our glasses with water, clean up, get a waiter to ask for the dessert menu and get our bill. “At least we don’t have to leave a tip”, my wife joked. But they were one step ahead of us, the 18% gratuity was automatically included.
According to your theory the waitress should have done a wonderful job since she was getting 18% right?
(When I asked where she was so I can thank her I was told that she went home 90 minutes earlier.)
Pac-Man-
You call this getting nasty? You should hear what I have to say about them when I’m not worried about my posts getting deleted!
Based on a joke from the Readers Digest some years ago.
Telemarketer calls shadchan: Hello, this is a telephone poll…
Shadchan: Do I know the perfect traffic light for you…
Droid-
He kept everything not just that reciept.
He always made sure to never waste anything but I still don’t know if he was joking or not since he always kept a straight face.
IUseBrains-
I’m also.
I’ll repeat this again for the benefit of those who haven’t read it in other threads.
I always tell my wife that even if the only thing she ever did for me was rescue me from those nasty shadchanim I’d still be forever indebted to her.
real-brisker-
Do what I do, go to the Customer Service desk and be honest.
Here’s a funny story that happened with my grandparents.
I went to visit them while I was a teenager and my grandfather mentioned to me that the light switch in his study didn’t work. He gave me a $1 bill and asked to get another one from the hardware store around the corner. I brought home the new one and my grandfather noticed that the box said it had a 20 year warranty. He then went to get the receipt from the broken one (which was 19 years and 9 months old) and asked if I could get a refund.
I refused to return an $.85 object that was older than me!
Not that I have any details in what is going on-
But…
When I would be harassed by nasty shadchanim I’d tell them that everything has to go through my mother. She did great as a firewall.
IUseBrains-
Why don’t you just leave them alone?
You’ll be doing yourself a favor as well as the guy and his mother.
How about writing a nice poem on a card.
From my experience, presents that take time yet have a minimal cost are more valuable than expensive gifts.
May you and your wife be zoche to have many more happy years together.
(And may the two of you enjoy reading this poem out loud at your 50th anniversary.)
IUseBrains-
I’d like to agree with you but from my personal experience common sense and shadchonim are mutually exclusive.
Droid- Thanks for agreeing.
IUseBrains-
Please don’t take offense, but you seem like the kind of shadchan that my friends and I had to blacklist.
When a shadchan gives a girls name to a guy it is up to him (and his parents) what to do from there. My mother told one shadchan to never call her back after she said “you think you’re being farfrumpted, well you’re being farcrumped. You have to tell me why you’re saying ‘no’. I’m a professional shadchan and therefore the issur of Loshon Hora doesn’t apply to me. Stop being a chanyukkel on someone elses cheshbon.”
(My mother worked with this girl and had wonderful things to say about her (including that there was nothing wrong with her) but she knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t for me.)
Who are you to decide what is unjustified? What is important to one person may be a non-issue to someone else and vice versa.
The shadchanim need to learn to be civilized or they are ruining the chances for many girls who otherwise may have no access to guys in yeshiva.
(If the guy and his mother are harrassing you non-stop to find him a shidduch and this is how they are acting then I see where you are coming from.)
Hey Doc,
We missed you at the department meeting today. Is everything OK?
He was talking about the president who fired him.
Bezalel-
I wrote it, Moderator-80 edited it about 90 seconds after approving it.
Post your questions here.
Many of us would love to help you.
Shrek-
You unlocked a can of worms.
Heard this from a non-reliable source who claimed it was true but I don’t believe it.
Here is goes.
An ex-Rabbi is speaking by his good bye party after being fired by the president of the shul for being too Frum:
There were three things that complained to Hashem that they were being sidelined;
1. Asher Yotzar,
2. Aleinu and
3. Mamzeirim.
Asher Yotzar complained that it is such an important brocha but people rush through it every morning while half asleep. Hashem decreed that from then on, everyone will say the brocha a few times a day.
Aleinu complained that people rush through saying it while on their way out of shul and no one has the proper concentration. Hashem decreed that from then on Aleinu will play a major role in the Yomim Noraim davening.
Mamzeirim complained that they didn’t do anything wrong yet they are punished for life. They can’t marry anyone but another mamzer and they have to carry the shame with them where ever they go. Therefore Hashem decreed that a mamzer should be the president of this very congregation…
I can’t give you too much information, but let me suggest that you don’t join the FBI.
Ames is a female, she made it quite clear when her daughter was born 11 months ago.
There are a handful of posts from her that were written after the incident and are still there.
on the ball-
There are a few reasons why we decided to donate anonymously (although it’s not set in stone).
#1. When I was in Kollel I was asked to put in a full page ad for a family member being honored. I explained that I was in Kollel and couldn’t afford a full page ad. The dinner chairman told me to give what I want and he’ll give me a full page ad. (Thinking back, I don’t think it was fair that someone who paid full price should only get the same recognition as someone who paid a small fraction.)
#2. A Rebbe I was close with was being honored and I had lots of Hakaras Hatov for the special attention he gave me as well as the kesher he kept up for 20+ years. I decided to put in a full page “thank you” at $500. I later found out that a younger grade was having a hard time scraping together $25 a piece from the 20 classmates and I felt it was arrogant to have a full page ad next to theirs and I asked the journal committee not to publish it. (They sent the Rebbe a copy of the ad and an explanation as to why I requested that it not be published.)
#3. A shy neighbor (who has helped us with the kids in the past) asked us to put in an ad for her yearbook. The school warned that anyone who didn’t raise a few hundred dollars for the yearbook cost would have a picture of an elephant in the yearbook instead of theirs and she thought it may hurt her shidduch prospects. I was willing to put in an ad but my wife said it will be offensive to her parents if someone else places a larger ad than they were able to afford. My wife gave her the full amount (so that she wouldn’t have to ask others who may insist on placing an ad).
Pac-Man-
Moshe is my younger brother. Instead of putting my name they put “anonymous” but it was put where my name would have gone alphabetically so it defeated the purpose.
am yisrael chai-
Did we meet each other on a different site?
(The person I’m thinking of brags to have started the thread with the most replies and views.)
YW Moderator-42-
I don’t know of any in that thread that were deleted, although there may be some from when my wife shared this SN with me. (Too lazy to check.)
There is one that I see has been removed although I don’t know why or by who. Some time ago I asked someone if their SN had anything to do with a bungalow colony. I’m not sure what was inappropriate or offensive with that comment, unless a moderator thought it would blow the persons identity?
Droid-
That I can’t answer.
I can answer what happened to me in a similar case.
This same R”Y told me about working Tisha B’av before chatzos, “you won’t see any mazal in the work done”.
Sure enough, the work I did was all wrong and not only did I have to do it again, but I also had to notify all those who relied on my work that the data is bad.
(That is the only time I recall making the error I made that morning.)
oomis1105-
That’s correct. We always ask for our names not to be mentioned. One organization that lists all their donors and their amounts had the following…
…
Anonymous- $???
Moshe Pepper- $???
…
I’m sure no one figured out who it was.
This is my personal opinion-
Yes, I would. When they scan something, if it comes out less than marked they will usually give it to you anyways and it makes you look good. (Normally the item is on sale but the tag fell off so the price is correct.)
I have also gone back to the store when I noticed that they didn’t charge me for an item. Again, I didn’t have to but it made me feel good.
A friend once wasn’t charged at Staples for an expensive toner and asked his R”Y what to do. He was told that he was allowed to keep it but he won’t see any mazal with anything it’s used for. He called the corporate HQ and they told him to enjoy it.
Moderator-80
Look for post # 104716.
In that conversation volley I referred to Joseph by his original SN before he changed it to Joseph. I noticed that in other posts that mentioned that SN it got edited and I didn’t want to antagonize anyone.
Please help me keep my clean record and don’t delete this. If you want you can replace the numbers with asterisks.
Thanks
binahyeseira-
It sounds like a great idea but I have some reservations.
Most important- I don’t think it’s fair to put anyone on the list without their explicit permission. Given the skewed advantage towards shidduchim that guys have I doubt many would want to sign up.
Also, before many people give their permission they’ll want to know who is going to have access the list and in what way it’s going to be used.
Which gets back to my original idea of having a board in charge of certifying shadchanim and a universal set of rules that all shadchanim must follow or face losing their certification and possibly facing consequences.
(By the way, I realize that in reality this is probably never going to happen.)
Did you try asking your insurance company for help?
Even if they self insure I’d be shocked if they don’t go through an insurer, I doubt they have the infrastructure in place to handle claims, look out for fraud and all the other things insurance companies have personnel for.
I can only try-
Yup, I noticed.
# of buttons in Combination # of ways
0 1
1 13
2 78
3 286
4 715
5 1,287
6 1,716
7 1,716
8 1,287
9 715
10 286
11 78
12 13
13 1
Total 8,192As we all know 2^13 is 8,192.
Moderator-80
please link to it
i dont remember
but i will delete it after i see it
Never mind, I want to keep my counter at 0.
I can only try-
Please check your math, I taught you what formula to use already.
Right Click on the video screen, go to settings…, on the left tab (on the bottom) disable “Enable Hardware Acceleration”.
Please let me know if it works.
If you have an accident report your insurer can find out.
Pac-Man-
It wasn’t on the riddle thread and it’s still there.
(Although my post was heavily edited, you did get to read it for a minute and a half in it’s genuine form. It wasn’t personal (at least not against Moderator-80). It was obvious that I was joking but Moderator-80 knew it, but was afraid others may take it seriously. I’ll link to it if Moderator-80 promises not to delete it.)
Please don’t delete my posts 🙁
I want to be the poster with the least amount of deleted posts.
Thanks
It’s not rare and it’s not from rare earth, that’s just what it’s named.
A powerful one can be bought on eBay for $40.
(If you ever took apart a hard drive you’d see two small, but powerful, rare earth magnets.)
If you are who I think you are, I think you’d enjoy reading what Wikipedia has to say about them.
be good-
Quite understandably, the USPS is not in the business of launching accident investigations. Ask for their insurance carrier to issue the letter.
The problem with the Simplex locks is the chamber. When the chamber is on the outside of the door it is susceptible to rare-earth magnet attacks. The models that have the chamber on the outside of the door are the ones where the five buttons are in a straight line. The models where the numbers are in a circle have the combination chamber on the inside of the door and are immune to that kind of attack.
(It does have a week point, but I still use this type.)
If you are getting the 14 button lock my suggestion to you would be to buy two (either for you and a friend or for a front and back door). Of the 14 buttons, one is to clear the combination, 5 are for the combination and 8 are wrong numbers.
Since 5 are supposed to be in the combination, if you trade one of the “combination” pieces from one lock with a “wrong number” piece from the other lock, one lock will have six numbers in the combination while the other one had four. This will throw off anyone trying to break in. I don’t know anything about the strength of the lock itself, I never break locks to gain access.
A shadchan once had a girl from me but warned us that her first name is … Goldie. I’m not so sure what is wrong with that name.
I might be mixing her up with another girl (I didn’t end up going out with her) but the shadchan warned that she’s a red head, “but she’s willing to buy a different color sheital if it really bothers you”.
My wife jokingly said that in the coming generation there will be many girls named Goldie, short for Golden Palace Casino dot com, the gambling website known for buying the rights on eBay to name an expectant mothers’ child.
be good-
Is the USPS paying for this out of pocket?
Try to get the letter from who ever the adjuster is that is settling the claim, if the adjuster isn’t authorized to write the letter ask who is.
I’m no expert at this but I think the your insurer would have more respect for documentation from another insurance company as opposed to the USPS.
You don’t have to give the letter to anyone, just keep it safe in case your insurer tries to raise your rates- you can prove that it wasn’t your fault.
On the slight chance that the other driver files a personal injury claim against you- showing a letter from their insurance company stating that you shared 0% of the responsibility should do wonders.
Just keep in mind that while the claim is still open you have the upper hand, make sure to get the letter before the claim is closed.
When our babysitter had that issue I told her to let her father answer one time, explaining that he had her phone for the day, and ask if he could help.
I think it solved the problem.
anon for this-
My parents tell the shadchanim that they want their grandchildren to be eligible to marry Kohanim (again, in a very sensitive manner).
(All of my sisters are heavily involved in kiruv and anyone that knows them or my parents know the respect that they have for a Baal/ Baalei Teshuva.)
bombmaniac-
I see where you’re coming from but please take it easy. Here’s what I wrote in a similar thread ==>9 months ago<==.
I normally stay away from threads like this so that I don’t offend anyone. If anyone does take offence please forgive me retroactively.
A teacher of mine in high school once told us that everyone in the world is discriminated against one way or another. The example he gave regarding himself was that he wasn’t allowed to be a fighter pilot in the U.S.A.F. because he was over 6’6″ and couldn’t fit into the cockpit!
Growing up my parents always taught us to have the utmost respect for Baalei Teshuva. In my fathers words- “They are on a level that we can’t even come close to”. My kids got to see this first hand over this past three day Yom Tov when my parents saved the best food and nicest China and cutlery for the seuda where we had guests who were Baalei Teshuva.
When my brothers and I were dating my parents politely told shadchanim that they would only consider girls whose ancestors have always been frum- the reason being that a kohain can not marry a challal and if he does his children can not do the avodah and are not considered kohanim.
Take a simple case where a non-frum couple got divorced and she got remarried to a kohain. Their children are challalim and can not marry kohanim. (And this is in the case where we’re assuming that the divorce was done properly- think about what the parameters change to if it wasn’t done properly!)
Although this may be very rare, I do know of one family where this happened and their children are not kohanim.
There are many silly things out there but I agree with my parents for taking this seriously.
Moderator-80-
Are you going to get it today?
(I’d like to meet you there and we can look for Squeaks “wagon”.)
Here’s my experience-
In the past 10 years I was involved in two accidents where damages were well over $1,000. In each case I asked the other drivers insurance company to provide documentation that I shared in 0% of the responsibility (one driver ran a stop sign, the other rear ended me at a red light). Both insurance companies readily complied.
My rates did not go up because of either one and when I switched insurance companies and they did a search on my driving record it came up spotless.
I’m not sure where you’re from but in NY I’m fairly certain that legally you’re required to report any damage to your insurer.
(Someone knocked off our side view mirror and didn’t leave a note, there was a security camera pointed at the parking spot and the security from the building showed me the video of the car that did it. They said that they can’t give me the video without a court order but the insurance company will take care of that for me. The insurance company said they won’t help me since I have a $500 deductible but said I legally have to give them all the information.)
L613-
I may be wrong but I think the second half of the phrase was- “but if you absolutely must brag about your husband… give your mother-in-law a call”.