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A new trend in some American Yeshivos in EY is to let out already on Shushan Purim. They guys get on a flight back to America and are off until Rosh Chodesh Iyar. Gevald! Some let out on Rosh Chodesh Nissan. Amohl, it took 2 weeks to get from Pinsk to Minsk by train or wagon. That would bring the guys back to their families for Erev Pesach. So, that’s how the Rosh Chodesh thing started, and understandable. Not applicable in 2024. The guys will come into the shuls for Mincha-Maariv and we are supposed to all be so proud of them. The next morning, they are asking the Gabbai to schedule a 10 AM Shacharis. I guess with an extra Adar, we are supposed to be empathetic that they had such a long and grueling Zman.
I saw a yungerman with a fade at a restaurant recently. Not sure who he learns by. He was married to a woman who was wearing a lace-top sheitel. Oy!
Is there a place that sells that are grey or blue?
It seems that people here are surprised that they were not asked to serve on the Selection Committee.
Is there a difference between “HaRav HaGaon” and “HaGaon HaRav”? What would most Rabbonim prefer to be referred to in print or when being called up to a Chuppah?
Get-r-dun: @UJM would likely also be a Bar Plugta with a Rishon–none other than the Rabbeinu Tam, whose harchakos were also developed and used for such situations. Maybe the RT was unaware of the potential concerns of Get Meusah and Mamzeirus.
If that is a potential concern in your circles, the RCA Prenup is a solid refuah before the makkah (see https://theprenup .org). Note that some Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbanim will not be Mesader unless the Chossen signs one.
Many people are “matza snobs” and think that their brand they they have ben used to for all of their life is the ultimate and everything else is inferior. So, they would rather overpay with funds they do not have instead of getting Costco for $16.50/pound or going with machine shmura.
@Gadolhadorah: To say that being see walking together in a public park is “assur” is a bit of an overreach and @UJM would probably concur with that. I would say that it falls into the category of “it’s just not done in our circles”. @UJM has already provided the rationale for that and thus, I have nothing to add.
@ladler: Thank you for clarifyng and articulating to @gadolhadorah how unzerer are feerzach.
Any information in the shidduch parsha should be kept under wraps and be restricted to a need-to-know basis.If you go to a hotel lobby in frum cities, you can expect that there will be yeshiva bochurim and seminary girls going on dates. That is just the environment that is most conducive to do so and just happens to be in the public eye. But until the shidduch is signed-off on by the shadchan, the dating couple should not be seen walking together in the community on Shabbos or otherwise. Indoor and outdoor dating activities need to be done outside of the public eye. Of course, it’s possible that someone will see them and recognize one of them. But that should not be the norm.
In unzerer Yeshivish circlesm it is pahsnisht to be dating anyone publicly until the engagement is announced and the Vort is scheduled. That includes being seen outside together or talking about the inyan to anyone but the Shadchan and your parents. Following that geder, there will not be any “how other people refer to us” scenarios. Once the deal is done, then you will become chossen-kallah.
The Right and the Good by Rav Doniel Z. Feldman.
When I was in shidduchim, depending on the girl I was going out with (or her father), I always kept a pair of clip-on peyos in the glove compartment. When I needed them, I opted for the back-peyos look though.
It really depends. For davening or learning? (And I’m glad that you specified that it’s not a free standing shtender because when it’s on the floor, that’s a whole different parsha.). For davening, you’d want more clearance to accommodate shuckeling. So depending on your shuckeling style, that might determine the angle. For learning, you’d definitely want at least a 45 degree angle toward your chair in order to see the sefer–unless the unit has a cup holder for coffee. Then, you’d want to have it more straight-up.
I am trying to understand the klehr. Was the question which Yeshiva is the most Yeshivish, which has the best learning, which one attracts the richest fathers-in-laws, or which is the one that produces the guys who get the best jobs after leaving?
I am wondering if anyone has ever tried to do a shlissel potato kugel for this coming Shabbos and whether I should make it overnight or not.
Motel 6 in Tinton Falls
The Nannie who raised me was well-versed in Shas and that ended up giving me an advantage when my Cheder had its Haschalas Gemara in Pre-1A
This whole inyan is not a l’chatchila situation, so my Rov paskened 6.
If you have a small number of daveners, people should be sensitive to others who need to leave and not linger in their own personal Shmoneh Esreh. Also, the chazzan need not wait for everyone to finish their shtiller S.E. Ask your Rabbi whether the number needed to start Chazaras Hashatz needs to be 6 or 7.
I don’t think that there will be any “wake-up call” where they will give up the perks. If the clock were turned back to the 70’s and 80’s, none of the people we are talking about would be incentivized to go into Kollel. The perks to which they have become entitled are very much at the core of the issue.
I am wondering if parents and in-laws, having had the opportunity to see first-hand over the past 2 months, whom they have been supporting, will finally wake-up and smell the coffee. Many of the parents/in-laws are experiencing business and job challenges themselves, which might give them pause to how their now more scarce money is being spent.
A related point is that the Yeshiva system has evolved to a point where there is vested self-interest to hold on to guys until they are into their 30’s. It maintains the funding stream and has created jobs which previously never existed.
Parents and in-laws have become increasingly connected to this system in order to give them validation as frum Yidden. This drives the chinuch choices for their children from a young age which ultimately sets them onto this trajectory. They don’t realize that the seeds toward this lifestyle are planted very early. And the longer that their kids stay in the system, the less hashpa’ah they will have as role models.I’ve noticed some local young Youngeleit who have been on Bein Hazemanim since Purim. They are at a crossroads now. I am referring to the guys who are in Kollel for social or remedial reasons. They have no daily Beis Medrish destination into which they can disappear and don’t have the zihtzfleisch to learn for more than about an hour at a time, certainly not by phone in a dining room of a house that has become their hotel. So, unless a Kollel guy is in fact “the real deal” (acumen, potential, and zihtzfleisch), the current matzav has made it pretty obvious that he should really be doing something else, starting right now, and with the rest of his life. Camping out as a couple or young family by one set of parents indefinitely, might seem like living the good life now. But, it’s really just a postponement of their growing up and maturing from their entitlement. There are plenty of people from the older generation who in fact had greater hasmodah as bochurim, yet went to work right away after marriage to support their families.
Definitely sounds like fake news.
What about the bloated periods of time called Bein Hazmanim? Those are also vacations. Some Yeshivos let out the day after Purim and don’t reconvene for another month and a half (Rosh Chodesh Iyyar). Others let out on Rosh Chodesh Nissan. In Europe it would takeh take 2 weeks to get from Pinsk to Minsk. That’s why they allowed bochurim that amount of time so that they get home in time for the Sedarim. But today?! Are you kidding me?
Somehow, it’s become “poreish min hatzibbur” if any yeshiva had the Chuzpah to start back before Rosh Chodesh! Same with Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan.
I have seen some contemporary Rabbonim referred to or called for Kibbudim as “Harav Hagaon” and some as “Hagaon Harav”. What is the a difference exactly? And what does it take to get bumped up from Rav to “Harav”? And is there a status difference between Kapotas with plastic buttons and covered ones?
Will not likely happen. I am assuming that the shopping center will require that any store which takes occupancy there be open 7 days a week. Secondly, the chain that is there now (Shoppers) seems to be looking to sell of all of their locations at once, not just a one-off with that store. Third, given that the former Seasons is around, the local kosher market might now be too flooded. If anything, it would make the most sense to have a Shoprite in there, which has more kosher certified products as well as models of a “Kosher Experience” setup that they have done successfully in NJ. They’d be able to be open 7 days a week and have the more general products and sections to service the non-kosher shoppers that live in the area.
When I was in Yeshiva, the “tchuhpp” was considered by the bochurim to be a tifehress.
I am grateful to the Star-K for publishing a helpful article from a renown Posek. The mesorah from my grandfathers and Rabbeim is to shave every day with an electric shaver, altz making a Kiddush Hashem as a ben Torah both at work and in the community. This includes during Sefira and the Three Weeks. BH that I have sich a rich tradition to inform my hanhagos hachaim.
because that’s how they feer-zich at Siyumim they had in Europe.
Not sure. But I am seeking to get my hands on a Litvishe up-hat, preferably second hand. If anyone knows of something, please let me know.
We are machmir and have Dairy for all 4 meals.
Sounds like you already have a canned answer for two questions you will be asked after 120.
I’m sure that there is a Rosh Yeshiva out there who will find this totally permissible and you will be duly honored at the next dinner. And if it’s Powerball, your wife can even get into the photo with you.
Do you hold by their Hashgacha, including Pesach and/or support their organizations? if not, why does this bother you?
I guess am just old school. I close my eyes, make a wish for a Shavua Tov, and blow out the candle regularly.
With a seatbelt, it is muttar since it’s as if you are “wearing the car”.
Why would the boy even engage in the Bittul Torah of dating? Get the boy’s mother to date the girl and propose on his behalf at the end of THEIR first date.
Akuperma:
Hi. Could you please give me a couple of places to look for a cheap Litvishe frock at around that price point? A Poly or knockoff would suffice. I live out of town so I am not in-the-know of where to go for this. Thank you.
The company that makes them is the same one which makes the seforim to carry around that just have bindings and covers and no pages inside to give the Oilam the impression that you are always learning.
I found a royal blue fedora on eBay for less than $30 which fully satisfies the Halachic requirement of wearing a hat for during the week and efsher for Shabbos too.
What about a Litvishe Kapota (frock)? Does anyone have a source for where they might sell that? Also at Bingo? What do they run?
I recall hearing a maaseh amuhl, where the bochur came from a plain yeshivishe home. So, he only had access to the family 15-seater to pick up the girl (who came from from a wealthy family) for the first date. The Shadchan suggested that the girl pick up the guy from his house, as she owned her own b’kovidikke car. When she arrived to pick up the bochur, he was still eating his Melaveh Malka in the kitchen and was not yet ready. So, she sat with the mother in the Dining Room, with the mother offering her cookies and tea. And if I recall correctly, the girl DID eat the cookies at the time. Fast forward 10 years, the bochur’s family ended up giving them the old van and B”H it’s now half filled with Yiddishe kinder!
While the girl is getting ready, see if the future shver will not only offer you orange juice, but also if he will also offer to pay to fill up your thirsty car with gas so that you won’t risk running on empty during the date. If ‘yes’, then he could very well be your sugar daddy for indefinite Koillel.
Really Joe? That’s not what I am hearing. Take a poll of Bais Yaakovs from the past 5-10 Senior grades in your area. Ask the girls how many in their class are already divorced.
And I was not saying that the divorce rate was higher or lower than the other group that dates longer. I was merely comparing the current level to a base rate or 0% and what it has historically been in the Yeshivishe communities. It is much higher than before.And what about those who get married too young or immature? Or they are otherwise not ready for marriage–either with their specific chasson/kallah or in general. They do so, because of the immense pressure to not still be single at age X. The window between the first date and the Chuppah if often just a couple of months. Very few if any go together to any sort of premarital counseling programs after the engagement due to: the lack of time; senseless “gedarim” which do not allow for too much contact; or, the stigma that doing so will mean that there might be a p’gam in the shidduch. So, the Shidduch Crisis has led to a marriage and divorce crisis.
Apushtayid:
Really? And how would you articulate the substance and tone of this protest to those young people in Israel who are both learning in Yeshiva and doing IDF service. I would be happy to pass any such lomdus on to my cousins who find themselves in that scenario.
Apustayid:
Thanks for clarifying. I’m sure that the press and our enemies will fully understand the subtle nafka mina you are presenting.
You must be a Barditchiver chossid, being melamed zechus for the guys that have so much time on their hands that they can attend rallies and protests at a moment’s notice. Something tells me that most of the protesters are not coming from the serious Yeshivos, nor attending R. Asher’s shiur.
When should a guy stop learning? When he understands the teitch of the condition written in his Kesuva! Or when his Mashgiach has the guts to tell him that he is just kvetching the bench all day.
Joseph:
Wonderful. The talmidim and yungeleit are so steeped in Torah study that they have time on their hands to be bussed to and attend these protests. I guess they take after their brethren in Eretz Yisroel who neither have jobs to go to nor the zitzfleisch/kishroin to sit in the Beis Medrish for more than an hour a day.
I know that they welcome your increased financial support which allows them to continue their lifestyle.
How about publishing a full list of Rabbonim, Roshei Yeshiva, and Askonim who will be organizing and/or participating–in advance of this protest. That will allow us to make informed decisions as to which institutions and causes we would be inclined to continue to support. The, after the event, publish a list of those who actually attended to also help make these determinations.
It would be great if one or two organizations would schedule a counterprotest outside of Barclay’s against this Chillul Hashem.