Derech HaMelech

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WellInformed:

I find myself agreeing with you often.

It wasn’t that long ago when I expressed my views on learning in kollel and the only one who agreed with me was Joseph.

And what’s this business of not riding in the front seat?

I disagree. If these are the hanhagos of her community, she is obligated to follow them altz al tifrosh. Its not on any one person to determine whether to accept or reject the hanhagos of their community.

I am a spiritual extremist by choice.

In a healthy framework, I don’t think there is such a thing as spiritual extremism. “Ultra-orthodoxy” is only in relation to the other streams of Judaism. But 300 years ago there were only two types of Jews, frum and secular. The frum Jews of yesteryear were not “ultra-orthodox”, they were frum. Yet by today’s standards they would be called Chareidi. You are not more frum than them and considering yeridos hadoros, probably less.

Feeling alone is only a result of being depressed. Speak to your husband/Rov about ways you might be able to get sipuk in ways that are acceptable to your communities Rov. Maybe there are things that you can do in the privacy of your home. Two of my Rebbeim’s (s’?) wives from Yeshivah created art- one painted and the other made crafts- in the privacy of their homes, for their private use.

b_o_r:

I admit it is not on the Jewish calling card per se, but I finally realize through some reading of other vegitarians that it is a higher way of ethics and I have also deemed it to be the only way that you can truly not eat the blood of another animal.

Personally, I don’t think vegetarianism is compatible with Judaism. Following an additional “ism” in addition to Judaism, suggests to me that there is a deficiency in Judaism that needs to be filled. I don’t believe that is true. Similarly, I don’t believe that there can be a higher standard of ethics beyond what our Rabbis have outlined for us. Neither is there any halachic or spiritual problem with eating blood in meat that was kashered according to halachic standards.

mods:

Sorry for my megilahs lately.

I think what people are trying to say is that the tone of your posts seems to suggest somewhat that you have already reached a point where you are comfortable in your level of frumkeit.

We are not questioning your frumkeit or sincerity, but we are a community where conformity is very important. As Hillel said “Do not separate yourself from the public”.

In short, I have not given up enough. I want my life and my soul to be a korban offering.

I think that this thought causes a lot of people to get depressed. Becoming frum is the realization that your Father is the King and He has all the money in the world. He’s inviting you to move in with Him. You don’t look at the porridge you used to eat and say, “well I used to make a really great porridge, its too bad I have to give it up now to eat thick steaks on gold plates with wine in crystal cups and decadent chocolate cake.”

Its brought down in seforim that after a tzaddik dies, the malachim bring his neshama to a mizbeach shel ma’alah and make him into a korban. Out job is to make ourselves into tzaddikim, the malachims’ job is to make us into korbanos for Hashem.

Bringing korbanos is an avodah. And the ikkur of any avodah is to do it besimcha, not b’inuy hanefesh. I suggest to anyone who feels this way, to speak with your rov or have your husband speak with his. Find a way to some extent do things that you enjoy in a kosher way. The yetzer hara’s biggest tool is to depress a person. Once you are besimcha you can and will reach madreigos that are above and beyond anything you’ve reached until now.

a_r_w_s:

I am only judging from what you’ve said here, but I feel pretty confident saying that the line “this is how we do it”, is not as opposed to “how you do it”. “Its just a way of saying, this is how our community does it and you as a part of our community should to”. You are included in the “we”. My father says it like this, my Rebbeim say it like this. Even my friends say “this is how we do it”.

Maybe there is an inflection in her voice that suggests to you that she is differentiating between you and her. But the sentence on its own is innocuous.

You say that you are well integrated into your community. But think about it. How often do you think one mother asks another mother “Why do we do x,y and z”? Especially in tight Chassidishe communities, questioning minhagim is not done. And the correct answer is “because this is the way we do it.” This is how the parents taught the children to do x,y and z. When you ask these type of questions you demonstrate that you are “different”, which is the opposite of integration. However, your questions still need to be answered with more depth and it might be best if you expressed them to your husband alone, so that outsiders (ie. those not in your immediate family) should only see your conformity.

Lastly, be aware that every BT has to give up many things in order to progress in Yiddishkeit- and geirim even more. This is part of leaving an unholy lifestyle to a purely holy one. There are reasons why the Chareidi lifestyle does not include hugging trees (even in private). There are reasons why we do not go to art galleries. It is all in pursuit of more loftier goals.

That being said, if you are not getting enough sipuk hachaim at home, ask your husband if you can take your family out on picnics or if you might be able to look into Jewish art by frum artists. Or other things that may give you in a kosher, accepted way, what you seem to feel is lacking in your life today.

Also know, change is a part of growing up as much as it is a part of becoming frum. It is detrimental to see your past as full of things you gave up- especially if in reality they simply no longer interest you as a frum adult. By now, your she’ifos are different, your hashkafa is different. And in all likelihood, the things that gave you simchas hachaim and sipuk are very different as well.

See how you’ve grown, not what you are “missing”.

Every time I see the name of this thread I picture a corpse rotting in the desert.

Anyone know a good psychiatrist?

To be a haiku

Syllables must be

So what is

three, four and three

syllables

like the one

presented here

by Ken Zayn

Moshe Rose

Moshe rose.

Is that a hieku?

It would be great if there was some way to track which threads I posted in, or track if someone is responding to me. Instead of having to remember which threads I posted in. I am not an elephant.

Ooohhhhhhhhh.

bombmaniac: you have such a way of phrasing things.

I must have seen it somewhere myself or I wouldn’t have heard of this. But this was all I was able to come with. This seems to be a speech by Rav Michel Yehudah. In it he quotes the Iggeres HaGra from a Nusach of Rav Zundel MiSalant:

?????? ???”? ?”? [???? ?????? ????”? ????? ?”?] ???? ??: ???? ???? ????, ??????? ??? ????, ?????? ??? ?????, ??? ????? ????? ???????, ???? ???”? ???, ????? ???”? ????? ???? ????? ??. ?????? ??? ???”? ?????? ??? ????? ?????, ??????? ???? ?????? ?????? ????? ????? ????? ?????? ????? ????? ??? ?? ???”?. ?????? ????? ????? ?? ????? ?????, ?? ?? ???? ??? ????”?, ??? ?? ???”? ?”?, ”??????? ???????”, ??????? ?? ?? ?? ??? ????? ?????,

This is the link if its let through:

http://www.shtaygen.co.il/?CategoryID=1259&ArticleID=4096

????? ?????? ???? ???? ????? ??????

I thought 40 again.

But I’m really bad at math and didn’t know how much a trillion is. After looking it up I’m guessing the correct answer would be 40 million inches or 3 1/3 million feet.

WE DO. WE EXPOSE EVERY NEW JOSEPH USERNAME AS SOON AS WE CAN.

I can see it now:

HOME – YWN RADIO – COFFEE ROOM – PHOTO ALBUM – JOSEPH ALERT – COMMUNITY CALENDAR – SIMCHA LISTINGS.

Obviously I didn’t mean an actual Sinai. Rav Yosef was a Sinai and I don’t think anyone thought he shouldn’t learn Torah. It is just the way I differentiate it in my head.

I always thought that it was the ability to multi-task vs. concentrating on one thing for hours. Sinai vs. Oiker Harim.

VeryHeavyBear: I am talking about the regular words that come up in Yeshivah.

I wouldn’t say Yiddish is completely gone either. The Mir has a shiur in Yiddish. Rav Tzvi Kaplan gives a shiur in Yiddish I believe. Yerushalmis still have Yiddishe chedarim.

I’m surprised that nobody here likes Mendelsohn’s. Really I would have thought at least one person would enjoy that pizza.

Droid: That’s what I thought it was called, until one of the many “let’s discuss what a tunabeigel thread is, and other labels” where people were saying that heimishe means less frum or something like that. So I thought I was wrong.

Another problem that I have, is that the little bit of Yiddish I picked up at home was with a chassidishe havara and then in my later yeshivah/beis medrish years, they speak with a Litvish havara.

So not only do I get confused, but I sound confused too.

I have this problem to some extent with my grandparents and my mother-in-law. My grandparents have an apartment in E”Y and come for a few months a year. They tend to buy stuff from the shuk that we won’t eat, like fruits and vegetables during shvi’is or rabanut foods. We made excuses until my grandmother got the hint. We didn’t handle it the right way.

My mother-in-law is not quite familiar with hilchos Shabbos. I’ve seen her or her mother (who lives with her) lower the temperature on the croc-pot on Shabbos because it was “too hot”. We didn’t eat chulent that Shabbos. We also snuck some keilim and toiveled them.

The best advice I can offer you is if you do have to go to their house, eat only dry foods of whose hechser you are sure of. If they question you, tell him that your Rov “paskened” that you can’t eat liquid foods that were warmed up.

Honestly though, I personally would always wonder about the hechsheirim on even the dry foods. I would say something like “look, lately we decided to follow a certain Rov’s shitos in kashrus and because of that I just can’t eat at your house anymore. I don’t want things to end between us, so maybe you can come over to my house more often or we can eat out over weekends”. Then hope that you’re not left with a big elephant in the room.

No just my grandfathers. My grandmothers are Muncacz and Skulen.

My mother’s Yiddish isn’t 100%, and my parents really only spoke it when they didn’t want us to understand. So now I’m Yeshivish with a chassidishe background. Short jacket with gartel. They should have a label for it.

Well, one of my grandfathers is Ger the other is Vizhnitz. So I guess I should start saying Hasheyme.

It definitely doesn’t seem like it in my head. My grandparents give me vacant stares when I try. The only reason I knew the “kayn” thing was because I read some story in Yiddish in a pamphlet that my grandfather had about someone named Rachamim who wanted to go to America to earn money.

After that, everything is just one big confusion.

Mir zenen geforn in New york

But why not “mir zenen geforen tzu New york”?