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Seahorse: But that’s just it: the fact that your conscience is telling you that there’s something wrong here is all the proof that you need. There’s no need to try to rationalize around your conscience.
I don’t really know enough about facebook to say that it’s an aveira to use. I think it’s probably neutral by itself, just that it makes it easier to do the wrong things with it. And since it’s not an essential part of life, it is better to make a fence.
Let’s say you want to put up some pictures of yourself. Then along comes your opposite and bumps into your facebook page and looks at your pictures.
Or let’s say you’re friend slipped on some loshon hora. BOOM! Now every one of you’re friend’s friends have seen it as opposed to just a small slip to one or two people.
And as I was trying to say earlier. What kind of middos does it train a person to have, when they are constantly alerting everyone to what’s going in their own lives and nosing around in every detail of their friends’ lives.
I say follow your conscience.
I think the answer to these questions is:
1)May one watch a movie?
Can anyone help me decide the pluses and minuses to having a Facebook
Con:
Whenever I try to delete my account my yetzer hara comes along and I sign back on to see what is new on my friends’ pages, etc.
Con:
My main issues are that I think it is somewhat unsnius to put up pictures of myself and I think sometimes it can lead to jealousy and hurt feelings to post happy pictures of one’s life and brag in statuses, etc etc.
Personally, I don’t have facebook and I’m only aware of a few people that do have it. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. When I want to share something I let people know directly instead of through my P.R. agent. When I have pictures of my family to share I upload it to photobucket.
and why some people who are religious do not have one, while some very religious people do?
Because you’re not the only one with a yetzer hara.
yekke2: you made my week with that Rogatchover. I recall seeing or hearing a similar idea in Parshas Korach about the mageifah stopping even by the people who were dying but not dead yet.
just my happence: I don’t think this is that fallacy. The definition of orthodox in this case is that someone (or a shul) follows the views of competent orthodox Rabbis, not specifically halacha. In this case the argument is whether certain Rabbis fall into the category of “competent”.
I don’t know who Avi Weiss is but my opinion is that if zahavasdad says an individual who isn’t Chareidi isn’t a Talmid Chacham then I’m comfortable believing that to be true.
I think its more likely that it used to be that everyone buttoned their top buttons and the chassidishe uniform never gave it up. As dress standards grew more relaxed some litvaks did give it up because it happens to be more comfortable. But I know plenty that button the top button as well.
How do you get the ring onto a 410936027 foot giantess’ finger? Conversely, how does a 4012745723865 foot giant put a ring on a girls finger without squishing her?
We have to have a clear path for those children of Chasidim who cannot make it in the Marines, but could serve Hashem as fully observant Jews in other ways.
We do. They’re called litvaks. Although frankly I know more litvaks that went chassidish then the other way.
That seems like it could be a common occurrence among giyoros.
I think that the nisayon of being rich is just a harder nisayon than being poor. The Noam Elimelech puts the higher tzaddik as the one who can eat l’shem shomayim than the one who fasts. When you have no food it’s easier to be an anav (a side effect of being detitute) and work on your bitachon (a side effect of never knowing if you will make it through the day/month). But when you’re rich everyone shows you kavod and you naturally think you already have all your needs. That’s a much greater nisayon.
…if I…said no to a girl because of her weight?
torah613613torah: And once again, the thread follows PBA’s predestined line of thought.
This is not really so surprising. PBA is everyone and everyone is PBA. We don’t exist except as extensions of PBA’s will. So naturally when PBA starts a topic it will follow the the way PBA wants. Because that is our will.
Resistance is futile.
HaLeivi:
Beresichis Rabbah 10:6
?”? ????? ??? ?? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?? ??? ????? ???? ???? ????? ?? ???
twisted: There’s a place in meash shearim that sells gluten that you can add to the flour. Although I still haven’t found out the proportions.
??”? ????? ?? ??? ???? ???
Bnei Brak has real Neturei Karta.
Well, then it gets a bit more complex: y = f(n) where n = -?
and f = f(n+1)
My guess is that y = -?
y = f(n)
y = f(-?)
-? = f(-? + 1)
y = -? * -?
y = -?
Yes. I am very bad at math.
mommamia22: I imagine his distress stems from the co-ed meetings and Shabbatons they have.
PuhLease:
Not disagreeing. One should have respect for the president of the country in which they live. Their fates are in His hands.
Fixed.
Why don’t we stone people who text on shabbos?
I think a shoteh is patur
According to one pshat he did, and Yitzchok spent something like 2 years in Gan Eden. When Rivka saw him he was coming back from there and he was upside down
Maybe the mazalos only say something about us al pi derech hatevah, but we can raise ourselves above tevah through Torah and tefillah.
I think there is a popular translation that “ein mazal l’yisrael” is saying that Hashem (Ein Sof) is our mazal and the 12 mazalos are for the goyim.
write or wrong:
Actually Crossroads is in Yerushalayim. I used to go there back when they were just starting off. It’s right across from Kikar Tzion, which is likely around the area your son is spending his time, if you live near Yerushalayim.
From the look of their website, they’ve expanded quite a lot since I was there. It also looks like it is run by more frum people. I can’t really offer my experience of it, since it’s changed so much since then.
Depending on what your son is doing now though, there might be reason to worry that it will help your son network with more of the wrong (or worse) people though.
Maybe havara just doesn’t really matter. There are no hilchos havara after all. There are plenty of sefarim written by gedolim about kavana betfilla but nothing about havara, so maybe its the kavana that makes the letter what it needs to be. I have to check it again, but I think the yesod v’shoresh ha’avodah mentions something in passing about it when he goes through shema about lengthening the dalet.
It makes no sense to me.
Ergo, everyone who does those things must be wrong.
aries2756: Thanks but its clear you must be a psychologist of some sort with experience from lots of people. I only have my experience which is just one person.
write or wrong: One thing I noticed which was brought up a few times in the past, is your husband. I understand that he probably doesn’t need the extra support you are getting from the coffee room, which is understandable. but do you feel he is contributing (or trying to contribute) towards a positive relationship with your son? As a mother there is only so much you can do, some much life that the two of you can relate on, in comparison to your husband. I understand that as a man, he gravitates towards anger at a problem that he feels powerless to fix. But is there anyway he can bring himself to be friendly with your son? I’m sure he tried, but to keep trying.
If as you said, your husband tends to be angry at this situation, he probably has a strong personality. And your son probably looks up to that and on some level is trying to compete with that to prove to himself that he is a man and not a child. If your husband can prove to your son that he already sees him like that, that might lower the animosity that your son has towards him and by extension you, since on some level you are both one to him.
I’m sure your son likes to drink and sees it as an “adult” thing. Imagine if your husband asked him to sit out on the mirpeset to schmooze and have a beer. How much that would make him feel accepted by the only real “adult” model he has right now. I know that right now you barely see your son and when you do its only to hear him yell at you. But maybe there will be an eis ratzon by him that your husband can grab.
I want to reiterate one more thing. As long as you see yourself as a doormat and the things your son does as things you have to deal with and struggle not to blow up or cry about, the more tension that will be created in the house. And a child can detect tension better than a metal detector at the airport can detect a 100 keys on a key-chain sitting right next to a big metal belt buckle. And when your son detects tension, his first response is to get angry to suppress the guilt he feels over it. And once he’s angry everything just gets out of hand. So the fight is over the second he walks through the door. And not just him, your other children too. You can’t control your 16 year old, but your other children still rely on you to set the tone for the house. And the younger a child is the better they are at smelling that tension.
It’s so important to change the way you feel about your son and his actions. For you and your husband, for him and for the rest of your family. Then iy”h kmayim panim el panim your son will also be able to change the way he sees you.
Haha. Just before I came to check if you wrote back, I was thinking how you would respond with that.
jmh:
Yeah you’re right, we probably would end up going in circles. I just enjoy a good debate. By “different bechinos of the same reality” I mean “eilu v’eilu divrei elokim chaim”. Therefore, everything chazal say is true. As for your points:
a) My comment about abiogenesis was because I (mistakenly apparently) understood your comment within the context we were speaking. Not the literal definition of the word, but the common theory implied by it. Obviously the creation of man from earth is the creation of life from inorganic matter.
b) Oh, Ok. I got scared there.
c) Now I understand your point, but the answer is simple. Spiritual “light” was already in transit from spiritual “Deneb” to spiritual “earth”. At the moment of the cheit, the spiritual “oros” became physical “light”.
I really like Oh Bagels! on coney between n and o. They don’t hurt my jaws by the time I’m done, but they’re also not those soft (pretend-)mezonos bagels.
write or wrong: I’ve been staying mostly quiet because anything I could say is already being said here better than I could say it, but reading this last page I thought of something that I might be able to offer.
Your view about having a son who is OTD seems backwards. You weren’t given a son who got “messed up” for some reason that you should feel guilty. Hashem gave you a neshamah that was destined for big nisyonos because He knows that you would be able to help him through the nisyonos that he was destined to have. When you are doing your research for your son or making calls for him, you are fulfilling a tafkid, not fixing a mistake.
As for how your son treats you: you must be very close with your tehillim because you are going through nisyonos so similar to Dovid HaMelech. Just remember that when someone is hurting Dovid (and he had plenty of people doing that to him) he attributes it to Hashem and knows that it is for the best.
And the king said, “What is it between me and you… let him curse, because Hashem said to him, ‘Curse David’. Who could say, ‘Why have you done so’?… Maybe Hashem will see the tears of my eyes, and Hashem will return to me good for his curse on this day.”
You too remember, when you are hurt, cry like Dovid. But when you are done, smile. Because Hashem just touched you personally. And it will be for good things.
jmh:
I was taught that all shitos are different bechinos of the same reality, so I don’t see the different opinions as a question of which is correct, but rather, which is talking about the point that is relevant to our discussion.
I completely disagree with the implication of the statement that methods of observation were already discovered. Three thousand years ago they would have said that they discovered by observing the sun traveling across the sky, that the galaxy is geocentric. The method of observation already existed. However, new technological advances in science over the next 1500 years proved that previous methods of observation can be wrong. All that’s changed since then is that our methods of observation have grown more complex, not less dynamic.
I don’t think I understood your point about Alpha Centaur because I don’t understand why Deneb would be any different.
Also I think you are missing the point with you statement about being unfalsifiable. I’m not trying to prove an idea. My proof is that it was said by Da’as Torah so it must be true. I’m not trying to prove, but to explain why our perception of reality seems at odds with what the Torah (and I don’t only mean the Chumash) teaches us, by explaining that our observations are misleading because our reality reflects greater elements of creation than what we can purely observe. An explanation doesn’t have to be unfalsifiable it just needs to account for all the data. And the scientific answer doesn’t account for Da’as Torah.
And this leads to my point about the deer. The nature that Hashem created are rules that creation follows. One of these rules is (maybe) that things that die are not erased from existence, they persist in some manner. According to the Sifsei Chaim (and again its been awhile since I saw it, but I don’t think he was explaining his own ideas), physical reality as we understand it came into existence at the point of Adam’s cheit. before that, the creation was still a creation but on a level that we would describe as spiritual. After the cheit all those spiritual elements translated into the physical. Whatever the spiritual equivalent of an extinct volcano is, it became a physically extinct volcano. So it is not a question of creating an existence that has no purpose, but that the purpose of the creation was for something that was relevant to the time preceding the physical manifestation of the universe.
To put another way, the Big Bang and subsequent expansion of the universe seems to be strongly eluded to in the words of chazal about Hashem’s name coming from “she’omar la’olam dai”. But we need to resolve a Big Bang in conjunction with 7 days of creation. So based on Chazal we can say that both events were spiritual in nature. However, the translation of an expansion of a spiritual universe into a physical universe became a universe with an apparent cosmological age in the billions. But this age is based on calculations of current changes in various elements and then counting backwards, without taking into account this translation. You are looking at the point of physical manifestation as a new creation of the world, when I am saying that it was only a continuation and translation of an (spiritual) existence that began with Bereishis.
Claiming abiogenesis from the posuk would be the easy way out, but the time frame wouldn’t work for one thing unless you start messing around with relative time like Mr. Schroeder. Besides for that, have you ever seen any peirush from anywhere, that supports any idea besides Hashem taking dirt from various places and using it to form Adam? I mean Ramban in Bereishis for one, goes pretty far in comparing the creation of Adam from earth with the creation of the golems.
As for brane cosmology, I think the model works really well modified to be speaking spiritually. Spacetime is not really infinite in such a case, because the bulk is not four dimensional reality. So each brane would have its own finite spacetime (lasting 7,000 years) that begins at each Big Bang. The only difference is, that like you said, each brane would have been created consecutively rather than co-existing.
I don’t think that Brane theory or the oscillatory model can be compared to the Steady State theory because in both cases time at least has a beginning with the Big Bang and -whether or not branes persist- in the crunch part of the Bounce time does end.
I don’t understand how Rishonim could hold of a universe that has no beginning and no end and I’d love to see a mekor for this idea. Likewise, if you have time I think you’d really enjoy seeing the Sifsei Chaim on this whole topic. He explains how towards the end of Yemos Moshiach nature and time will start changing. It’s really amazing.
I understand your point about Seder Olam. You’re right, the main point is what happened at (and before) Adam, so his calculations are largely irrelevant.
Interjection:
I actually really like your pshat.
I just want to add that the pshat that you heard also makes sense to me. I’ve heard that in Olam HaBah women will have a great advantage over men in being able to be mekabel the light of Hashem as they are already mekubalos, while men are nosnim. The bracha of she’asani kirtzonoh seem to be to be addressing a woman’s innate ability to mekabel from Hashem whatever He wants for her.
in other words both advantages are being addressed with these two brachos. Man’s advantage of having more mitzvos and by extension more schar. And woman’s advantage of being able to more effectively receive schar. I picture the difference of 10 gallons through a shower head vs. 5 gallons though an open pipe (except that schar is infinite)
jmh:
I agree with you that it is valid to ask what the purpose of these bones might be. But I don’t think that drawing a conclusion that is antithetical to conventional Rabbincal knowledge is valid. The same question can be asked why Hashem created an Earth that appears flat, a sun that appears to revolve around the Earth etc., deliberately misleading people. I doubt you would say that the Earth must have really been flat since the available methods of observation at the time indicated this. But Hashem could have created the Earth in such a way as to appear ellipsoidal. For whose benefit was that? It is to this that I believe R’ Gottleib is saying the answer is irrelevant. Why Hashem created the appearance of heliocentrism is irrelevant to the reality, He has His reason obviously, but that reason is not because the galaxy really follows the heliocentric model.
I understand that radiometric dating is derived from the rules of nature. But it is still possible for science to determine that certain natural events (such as the numerous cataclysmic events brought in chazal) altered the results of these dating methods. Science is hardly immutable. Because of that, although we can look to science as a resource, it can’t be any more of an authority of nature than say, Josephus on Jewish history. It is probably correct, except for where we know its wrong.
I’m not saying that dinosaurs couldn’t have existed as living creatures- just that a solution should only be proposed within the parameters of chazal. Proposing conventional scientific belief without any modification though, is problematic because it includes abiogenesis, macro-evolution and a relative age of our world as being greater that 5,773 years old.
What I was proposing with fossils, is that they could represent vestigial reflection of spiritual realities that took place prior to the physical manifestation of the world. Alpha Centauri would not be vestigial because they reflect a spiritual existence that is still functioning. Hence AC are still shining stars while fossils are dead.I’m not saying this is an answer, just something I thought up after I learned that piece to explain the apparent age of the Earth in lieu of chazal.
The point of my deer analogy was that deer are reflections of some spiritual deer-mazal. Yet after the deer dies, the skeleton doesn’t cease to exist, it persists reflecting a vestigial spiritual existence. Similarly, fossils could reflect vestiges of whatever it was they represented. The rule (tentatively) being that Hashem doesn’t completely eradicate anything once its function has ended.
I mentioned the Seder Olam only because he actually goes through the generations so its harder to mess around with the time frame (talking about relative vs objective time). And this sefer is quoted in the gemarah as well.
I don’t think I am really speaking about a Big Bounce (which would probably take 6,00 years to contract as well, once the arrow of time reverses). I think in general Judaism views time as being more cyclic than oscillatory. The idea would be more similar to a sort of spiritual Brane consmology. You have a bulk (which we can call the “area” of the tzimtzum) where conventional time and space don’t exist. And Hashem creates seven consecutive branes within the bulk, each brane lasting for 7,000 years. In such a case you wouldn’t say that the universe is actually billions of years old, because the age of the universe can only begin from the start of the singularity of the individual brane. I’m not familiar with the concept of olam kadmon.
I don’t think he meant he was an agnostic theist as it sounds like you are suggesting, but I never read a biography about the guy, I just read specific points that I need on Wikipedia with the sources. But like you said, some goy’s beliefs definitely have no bearing here.
jmh:
I don’t think your question of “for whom?” is really a question. Maybe for someone, maybe for no one. Just because we don’t immediately see the reason, doesn’t make the initial assumption factual.
Put another way, let’s say tomorrow science works out that because of x,y and z, their previous estimations of the age of these fossils were inaccurate- they are in fact no older that 5,700 years. Would you then ask for whom Hashem created fossils that appeared to be older than they actually were. Or would you say, scientists were mistaken again in interpreting the creation.
I don’t think you have to really go ad hominem here telling me to learn rishonim. I believe Seder Olam is one of the main sources for the calculation of 5,700 years. The sefer Sifsei Chaim explains the concept of shisa alfei shnin as 6,000 years very nicely-I believe he brings it according to the Ramban but I don’t remember. There is also the shita of the sefer HaTemunah.
Also, I don’t believe there is “one true answer” to the exclusion of other chachamim, rather, each is calculating according to his own parameters. For instance, in this example of shisa alfei shnin, we have the calculation of the sefer HaTemunah talking b’chllalus of the entire creation and you have the Ramban etc. speaking b’pratus of our universe. And both are describing different parts of an epicycle, that are equally true within chazal’s description of the epicycle called shisa alfin… I’m not saying that this is the solution to the different calculations, I’m just demonstrating that there is a solution and all the “revelations of chazal” are true.
Origin was published in 1859. In 1879 he wrote in a letter “I think that generally (& more and more so as I grow older) but not always, that an agnostic would be the most correct description of my state of mind.” This is brought on Wikipedia, with a link to the letter. There are other links there proving this as well.
Also, regarding your comment to veltz, I think its possible to disagree with you. For instance, we know the physical world reflects the spiritual. Its possible that spiritual events took place prior to the creation of the world, such that at the time of the physical creation, the world reflected a “mature” spiritual reality. To back up this idea, the Sifsei Chaim explains that before the cheit of Adam reality was entirely spiritual and the spirituality of the world was even more spiritual. So, the “history” that we see could be reflections of vestiges of those spiritual events that took place prior to the spontaneous materialization of the world at Adam’s cheit. In which case, your point would be as valid as saying that there is nothing to add anything to the running of the world anymore than say, a deer’s skeleton.
Also Darwin “went off the derech” and never went back.
jmh:
I think he was going for a more philosophical answer, but I think his point remains valid. Also, I don’t think your point of logic vs. revelation is relevant here. Logic is not fact, it is a tool of reasoning- meaning because something seems logical doesn’t mean that it is necessarily true, just that given a number of facts and a certain amount of understanding, we can assume a conclusion.
But in this case, the argument is that scientists don’t have all the facts, be it because of changes in nature or previous universes etc. That is not an attack on the logical conclusion of scientists, but a statement towards the accuracy of the currently observable data to conclude the reality.
In such a case, if someone with complete knowledge of the relevant data – not just the observable, were to reveal to me the purpose these bones, it should take precedence over sciences conclusions.
Just for example take some rain-forest tribesman’s logical conclusion of the purpose of a chair vs. a civilized individual explaining to him its purpose. The tribesman might be very logical but his conclusion will still be faulty.
Also, I don’t think the chumash explicitly says how old the world is but chazal does.
Also, I believe the Yalkut Me’am Lo’ez in the first chelek speaks a bit about the changes in nature and the world that took place early on.
oomis:
I believe I saw somewhere that the animals were brought to the teivah by malachim. Even not assuming Pangaea, imagine how long it would have otherwise taken for an animal from one side of the continent to get to where it needed to be had it walked. Likewise, it wouldn’t be difficult for a malach to cross an ocean.
just my half penny:
Thanks for the source in R’ Dovid Gottleib. I just looked it up and found that he has a lot of great things on his site. I don’t understand why you have the question of why Hashem would create misleading artifacts. R’ Gottleib answers that himself, explaining that since Hashem already told us the truth, those artifacts are not deceptive, rather science is misinterpreting their existence.
I think in Kiryas Yoel they say “Ah gitte kvittel tzi gantz klal Yisruel.”
You’re son is braver than I was. I don’t really like foreign objects getting put into my body (I pass out about 50% of the times I got for a blood test). But I always wanted a tongue ring. The one time I pulled myself together and decided I would go get it, they were closed…
I wonder if the question is whether you have the right to tell him that he must be Shomer Shabbos in your home or not. You explain that you want your home to be Shomer Shabbos. Do you ever have a goy come over to do something for you on Shabbos? Can a pile of Jerusalem stone be Shomer Shabbos or do you think you might be trying to rationalize the pain of your son’s open desecration of what you hold dear?
I once called up R’ Avrohom Shorr because I was at my Mother-in-Law’s house and my wife is the only one who is Shomer Shabbos in her family. I asked him if we should go away for Shabbos (I think it was Shevuos also that year) because the chillul Shabbos was really bothering me. He told me that I should be l’maaleh min hamakom and l’maaleh min hazman and stay. Shabbos is what we make of it. All the Rebbeim in the YEshivah I went to in E”Y were all exposed to chillul Shabbos and I never heard of any of them saying anything to anyone about it. They made their Shabbos and were happy just to get us to come to the seudos.
I’m not saying that the right answer is to ignore your sons actions. You have other children and need to measure the impression of your sons behavior on them. But maybe you can modify your reaction to his behavior in light of these thoughts to be more calm and accepting of him during this struggle. The more that you express negative emotions to him, the more he will feel pushed and run the other way. The more accepting you can be of him in your heart, ?? ?? ????? ???? ????, the easier it will be for him to run towards you.
Maybe it would be effective to say something along the lines of:
We understand that you are already 16, an adult that is mature and free to make your own decisions. You are your own person, responsible for yourself and have the right to choose whether to keep Shabbos or not. But there are other impressionable children in the house that are our responsibility. So maybe we can agree that you are free to come and go as you please, but any chillul Shabbos that you feel you need to do, you do outside the house. In this way we respect your freedom and none of us have to worry about the effect of your actions on the children.”
In this example you are validating his “maturity” both by “admitting” that he is an adult and by separating him from the “children” of the house. Then you are using the positive feelings that this evokes in him as a base to propose your “trade” with him.
And most importantly, don’t make your family’s Shabbos revolve around the actions of the boy that is troubled, but about reinforcing positive feelings in your family.
Why not just call a tow truck?
write or wrong:
I’m not saying that parents’ love will protect a child from going OTD. What I was trying to say is that if you’re husband can find it in himself to let go of the anger and show the love and validation that your son really needs now, then like soliek said, when you’re son is IY”H one day ready, he will turn back to you.
I know about the chutzpah, its especially horrible in E”Y I’m sorry to say, even in the little children. My wife had an especially hard time dealing with that.
I don’t think you should feel guilty about your son going OTD. First of all, without him to really think about it, its impossible to say what really caused it. Maybe he had a problem with a Rebbe, maybe it was the culture shock of moving, maybe he saw something that seemed in contradiction to what he was taught or didn’t learn enough about emunah- an affliction that so many kids today are complaining about.
But second of all, as hard as it is, you should accept that your adult son is going through Hashem’s special nisayon for him. Whatever it is that brought him to where he is, its what Hashem wanted him to go through. Not something that you could have avoided had you done something different- because you couldn’t. Don’t make your family’s life revolve around him. Cry for him, yes. Daven for him, yes. But also have confidence in Hashem and in your son that everything will be for the best.
I always think that those that go off are those that the yetzer hara gives an extra hard nisayon because kol hagadol mechaveiro yitzro gadol haimenu. From what you’ve said, I can tell that your son is special- very sensitive and caring. Clearly he has the potential to reach higher levels in yiddishkeit than others or the yetzer hara wouldn’t be struggling so hard with him.
But he is still your child and a child can always detect the emotions of the parent. Especially one as sensitive at heart as yours. When he sees you happy and he is ready to be happy again, he will know where to find his own happiness. Be strong, don’t give up and keep davening for him. And when its his time, he will come back to you.
write or wrong:
I hear what you are saying about your husband. The truth is that both you and your husband remind me of how my own parents reacted to me. Let me just tell you a few things.
Of all my uncles, I have only one who ever took me aside. He told me that he saw my problem and he offered to do whatever I needed to help. He was the first person to give me some validation in the problems I was struggling with and show that he cared without being pushy. Granted he didn’t really know how to go about helping me, but its been over 15 years later and that short one hour talk is still with me. To me its no coincidence that despite having very wild kids, they all grew up with barely a thought to leaving the derech of their father.
A story I heard second hand from someone who knows the family, is that there was a chassidishe boy from Boro Park who went OTD. One Shabbos he was watching TV and a neighbor walked in. Within the year he was back in Yeshivah, because as he said, he was so afraid of hurting his father from going off.
For men, it can be very easy to not learn how to show our true feelings. But as in these two cases, the dividends of being able to show the love that a father feels in the face of pain, can pay off a thousandfold.
S1: It’s not true, having stronger belief in Hashem won’t make it easier for you to stop talking to boys. I was there (in the opposite way), I know. But for one thing, why don’t you try reading some books or listening to some shiurim about emunah? There are tons of interesting speeches out there on TorahAnytime and SimpleToRemember on Emunah and Bitachon. For another thing, when you decide to stop talking to boys, do you actually let them know so that they could respect your decision and make it easier on yourself? Put yourself in a place where it will be easier on you for a while and after a few months pass, it will be so much easier.
chloqueen: I see that a lot of people have this problem with noticing that there are Jewish people out there that aren’t being very Jewish. And when these people are people we expect to be role models, it can be a real let down. I was in Eretz Yisroel for a really long time in great communities with really amazing people. Coming back to America I saw with my own eyes things that frum people were doing that I would never have believed was possible. But the answer is that this is galus and its hard for everyone. The areas in your life that you find easy are hard for others and that’s why you feel let down when they fail it- because it so easy for you! For them its a terrible nisayon- the same like emunah is for you! But you’re a strong girl, you can find the answers on your own. There are tons of shiurim on Emunah that are online. And in a year or two from now, you might see a BY girl struggling with these same problems and you’ll be able to give her the answers to the questions.
Maybe because it is only said on yom tov and so many of us (myself included) don’t think of it as part of davening. Yes, its a wonderful tefillah, but we’re going to be saying it by kriyas shema anyway in just a bit.
It might be the wrong way to look at it, but there you go.
Curiosity: Oddly, you’re theory also explains why I can’t seem to get these absurdly delicious chocolate chip cookies from Winn Dixie (P.Y. ORB)out of my hands.
I honestly dont believe the Berditchever had to come back to this world.
Maybe not for his sake, but I think we can use the Saneigor today. Desperately. Very, very desperately. Extremely desperately.
Personally, I’ve noticed that the only people who think there are positive mental effects of pot are those people that are currently ingesting it. People who are drunk also think they are talking complete sense at the time…
The history (or lack)of marijuana in the Jewish world is not so important. What is important is its effects today. Today like alcoholism, marijuana use is primarily a form of escapism and I challenge anyone who is currently ingesting it, to try going 3 months without it and tell me I’m wrong.
I am not the type of person who gets upset at all the 13 year olds falling over drunk on Purim. I think its a mitzvah and more power to their parents for looking past societal conventions in favor of Halacha. But Purim is the exception to the rule like chagavim are exceptions to not eating bugs.
Also check underneath your car. Maybe it only holds 5 gallons and the rest is leaking out the bottom of your car.
I suggest you find out quickly! Before this turns out to another kamtza and bar kamtza story!