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You can go to a more sketchy hotel and they will let. I have friends who stayed at the Indian creek hotel and they were all under 21 but double check first because these rules change regularly.
-You are right that it can be a factor, but I do not believe that it is even a main factor. It’s a side thing that you can blaim it on. Also, of course there are many stories of people who were embarassed and later went off; do you know anyone who was never embarassed by a teacher/prinicipal/parent/friend etc???? An emotionally stable person can handle it unless it is a continous torture by their friends, parents and teachers.
– I don’t think the point of sending a kid down a grade is to embarass them. I think it is to simply send them out of the classroom to; stop the distraction the student is causing so the other children can learn and put the misbehaving child in an atmosphere where they can think/do work and be supervised.
ZD- I was in high school 2 years ago, not 30. Also, my point in saying that this punishment was used on me and didn’t scar me or a lot of other people i know and respect shows that there is not necessarily a correlation between get punished in school and going off the derech; which btw is always humiliating…you think getting sent to the principal, sent home, detention etc isn’t? so do you suppose we should never punish our kids? Spoiling kids is worse!!! My point is you can’t take a story about one kid who is off the derech and happens to also have gotten in trouble in this form one time or another and blaim it on this. People make choices, bad choices but they are still theirs and maybe this punishment pushed the kid a little farther but its not the root.
I am not saying there is nothing in schools that need to be fixed, i work in one; I KNOW! I just don’t think this is it. It’s more of an issue of a teacher who doesn’t love/respect their students and can’t control them so gives them punishments in a degrading fashion. You can send a kids down a grade till the kids are in about 4/5th grade. Yes, after that would be humiliating. Before that it depends how the teacher does it. If you know your teacher loves you and really wants the best for you; and Baruch Hashem there are plenty of teachers like that, then the punishment isn’t as humiliating.
Also, very good point about “YOU NEED TO KNOW THE KIDS AND WHAT PUNISHMENTS TO GIVE”- this punishment can be effective and great for one kid and detrimental to another. You can’t make a blanket statement about this form of punishment!
When i was in school I was sent down to younger classes countless times, pulled up the steps by my hair to the principal, sent to do work in the library, suspended, had to write essays, missed recess etc. You name it! No, I am not off the derech or messed up; those are choices that someone makes. I think blaming a teacher who sent a kid down a class and now is off the derech is extreme and disgusting.
Secondly, to call a highly respected Rosh Yeshiva that you never met a clown is….!!!
Bowwow- Sure, it taught me responsibility, independence, how to stick through things that are hard and make the best of any situation (my roommates), it taught me how to live with other people….all this besides for the better knowledge of myself and who i am, and how to build a closer connection with Hashem. I don’t think 20 grand is a waste for all that…IF you can afford it. If you can’t you will learn these life lessons other ways and its not worth putting your parents in debt!
michala is the halachos of tznuis…. i don’t know about the machal program
You all clearly feel strongly about this….so do something!!! you can be the one to change how the frum world takes car of these situations!!!
2scents- it prepared me for life!
dolce and gabbana light blue, burberry brit, coach poppy, vera wang princess!!!
No when ever really “grows up”; they just learn how to act in the way that society expects them to!!!
The solution is quite simple, give him food, clothes, or other necessities he may need. Additionally speak to a Rav and see if you can get someone to sponsor rehab for him. That would be the greatest chessed you can do for him. Help him without giving him money.
BTGguy- If he is poor you have a chiyuv to help him even if he is a drug addict. There are ways to help him out without allowing it to feed his addiction
I went to Seminary last year and one of my really good friends hated it she’s not the go away from home type and she was miserable almost the entire year, she didn’t cry before she went home and she was never obsessed with seminary. If you ask her if she is happy that she stayed without thinking she will say yes! why? It’s simple she learnt so much about herself, about connecting to Hashem, but mostly about maturing. We are sheltered our entire life and even in High school we don’t really need to make so many major decisions and we are quite dependent on our parents. By leaving your home, your country, and your friends for a year you get to break out of your shell and just get to know yourself. You also learn that no matter how hard life gets you can stick it through without turning back. You gain an independence and maturity that it is impossible to get while living with your parents. You become yourself. Just wanted to let you know what you deprived your daughter of by taking her home. You just taught her that when life gets hard you run the other way. 21,000 thousand dollars is a lot of money to waste without giving even 3 months to try to get used to it. I really hope you did it because of your logic and not your emotions because i am sure it was hard for you to hear your daughter miserable without being able to do anything about it.
vera wang princess