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danielaParticipant
You ask us? Ask him. Ask what he would like to learn and what brought him to the decision to put aside some of his precious time and study, then teach him what he mentions, and then you will go from there.
danielaParticipant“It’s because corn means grain”
Sam2, interesting, I never heard, I wish to ask you, do you know opinions about the status of acorn? (The seed of the oak)
I would think that is a sort of nut, not a seed, although of course no one in my family ever ate, and also, preparation for Pesach is impossible unless strictly supervised (I know some native americans eat the acorns, but they soak them for weeks). Thank you
danielaParticipantYehudayona but it can’t be all there is to it, for example string beans are kitniyot forbidden to some, even though they are obviously not usable to prepare bread-like foods, and they are forbidden even if we have them picked before any seed is visible in the pod.
Also, could you think of bread made of coriander flour? Cumin flour? Differently from corn they were known and permitted, yet some have the minhag to avoid them.
danielaParticipantsnowbunny, I am so sorry about all you are going through. You are now vulnerable and weak, it is very sad someone is bullying you, I know you are seeking for someone to talk to, as it is apparent in this very coffeeroom, and that you seek someone who is observant and do not feel connected with your not-as-religious-as-you-wished family in USA, in fact it seems to me you don’t even feel connected with MO and are seeking to become more yeshivish and blend into a community which is very different from the lifestyle you grew up in. I am also aware the community you wish to join does not necessarily appear always welcoming to newcomers.
However please I beg you, you will no doubt do very soon if that is your wish, but please, be very careful at this time, you now need support, you need money, and most of all, you need reliable people who take responsibility for what they do, and who don’t disappear – or worse, R”L, hurt you – when you need them most.
It is my opinion you should take a break from seminary and talk in person to your family, your rabbi, your former teachers, your doctors in USA. You need to straighten out your life, medical problems included, and if/when you decide to return in seminary (or anything else you may want to do in life, I would tell you the same if you were going to college) it always needs to be done from strength and never from weakness, lest evil and sick people take advantage of you, and I am sorry to say these people exist even in Eretz Israel.
It is unfortunate that some frustrated people are taking out on you their problems, and I wish them a refua shleima, but your note will not help, what will help is those closest to you being aware, and then you and your parents talking to your rabbi, who I am sure helped you with phone calls and letters, and have him check into what is going on, and then he will call the rabbis who run your seminary and will call those who generously donate (those people trust me would be pretty mad, if they knew some fools use their money to make you miserable, they are giving generously because they want to do a mitzva) and things will be straightened out when you return to that seminary or to any other seminary.
Equally important, other girls (next year’s) will NOT have to suffer, THANKS to you.
Please at this time don’t talk to new people no matter how well-intentioned, please don’t ask advice from people who don’t know you yet, please talk instead to those who are aware what a long way you have come and what tremendous difficulties you overcame, and who have been supportive of you throughout your troubles, when you needed support even more than you need right now. They will help.
danielaParticipantSnowbunny I think there is a misunderstanding and DY referred to the story posted by MorahRach. I remember thinking something very similar (I did not post, but my feelings were the same). Your post must have been still in moderation at the time DY was writing.
danielaParticipantAren’t we running a little bit too fast to conclusions? We have a Yid and his family – it’s Shushan Purim in Yerushalayim – his parents are pouring him whisky and other liquor (did we not all do the same? Unless of course they are too young for that, but the young man is 30). We also learn he habitually likes drinks (he is not a Muslim, thank G-d). On a public forum on the internet this person is painted as an alcoholic (!!) an undiagnosed mental health patient (!!!) and from there we proceed to insinuate he may be dangerously violent (!!!!)
Excuse me, may I ask how would we all feel if it were us? If a similar post had been written in regard to ourselves and we came across it and recognized that it is meant to describe us? What about the sheer terror that *someone else* recognizes us, or rather, the distorted picture which is being painted, and that unfortunately, human beings have a weakness to promptly believe?
Please, enough. If the young man was totally drunk on Shushan Purim, kol ha kavod, it is a mitzva. If (IF) he drinks too much every day, none of us can help and thus we have no business discussing it.
I think it’s time for this discussion to be closed and for us all to try and be a little more careful before hitting the keyboard.
danielaParticipantAs it is incorrect, and not remarked as incorrect by moderators, that eating chometz on Pesach makes someone chayav misa, there are other posts that are similarly incorrect, and not remarked as incorrect by moderators, but still completely incorrect, and not to be trusted.
Noted.
danielaParticipantThe Shulchan Aruch if I am not mistaken says to make yourself a rabbi (as opposed to picking leniencies from here and there) and I don’t recall it saying imposing anyone’s opinions, even legitimate opinions, upon others. Much less does it suggest R”L to despise those who hold different than your hypotetical rabbi (aka Rabbi Google) and mock them as “frummer than”.
I checked with OU. They don’t consider regular US salt pesahdig, because the iodization process involves corn, they don’t advise it and certainly don’t certify it. They told me it’s really kitniyot and not chometz gamur, but obviously, Askhenazim don’t eat kitniyot and most include corn among kitniyot. Pure sea salt is obviously acceptable for Pesach, but in the US is mainly available as the coarser “kosher salt”, of course one can buy finely ground sea salt (non-iodized), but one has to be aware of the issue and to look for non-iodized salt.
Some sorts of sugar may also have corn starch or traces of it.
If you eat corn, enjoy. But many people don’t, and don’t eat corn derivatives. If you think you are qualified to pasken for yourself, it is none of my business, but please don’t try to be “helpful” with leniencies which are not necessarily acceptable. Our rabbis are perfectly capable of telling us leniencies and they don’t enjoy making us miserable for Passover, as you seem to insinuate. Shops also are there to make a living as well as to offer us products that lighten our workload and that allow us to enjoy a variety of foods. If you think that checking quinoa – for those who eat it – is easy and fun, it is obvious you do not know how to check it properly, it is obvious you are assuming that you only have to check for wheat kernels, please ask your Sefaradi grandmother to check for you a handful of quinoa, and watch her. Besides, your comments on price-gouging do not deserve a reply.
It is also interesting you rely on the OU when you find it convenient, but then you appear to be following Sefaradi minhag, and as I am sure you know, Sefaradim can not rely on the OU, as there are OU certified products which are not acceptable for Sefaradim. Please check with your Sefaradi posek and/or with OU themselves.
danielaParticipantExactly, you need support, you don’t need to burden yourself with someone else’s issues. Meet with his family and enjoy, if he keeps being unpleasant to you I think you should try to avoid confrontations but later talk to his parents and tell them to please ask him not to swear in front of you or treat you rudely.
danielaParticipantPerhaps you should avoid going to his parties, or arrange to leave early. But if you are in Jerusalem, today was Shushan Purim, or am I mistaken.
danielaParticipantIt is not your business, if he has a drinking problem, it is for someone else to address it. (I remark — IF.)
danielaParticipantWhy is this disinformation, this poisoned mixture of truth and falsehood, allowed to be posted here and possibly to mislead some readers? Everyone should follow their minhag and if there is any doubt, ask *their* rabbi. As for attempting to save a few dollars, I wonder if we all believe that our basic income was decided on Rosh Hashana and sealed on Yom Kippur, and does not include expenses for Shabbat or Yom Tov.
PS Since when iodized salt is KLP? Who said so? If you eat kitniyot or at least kitniyot derivatives, awesome, but not everyone does.
February 24, 2013 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm in reply to: What You Can Eat in a Non-Kosher Dairy Kitchen #932276danielaParticipantAccording to Rav Feinstein’s heter CY is not a chumra, it is plain halacha, however the nature of the US milk which is for sale in ordinary USA supermarkets gives it a din of CY; thus according to Rabbi Feinstein it is proper, but it is not obligatory and not required, to buy CY which actually has been under Jewish supervision, given that he paskened the regular supermarket milk in USA satisfies the CY requirements and is thus permissible. I am not sure how many times this needs to be repeated.
danielaParticipantI am not a medical professional but it seems to me that it’s lots of stress you are under.
Have you ever tried staying up all night and then starting the new day? If the following you feel tired at 7pm, so be it, enjoy your sleep. The next day you’ll stay up later.
Also, I hear there are lots of differences among the amount of sleep different people are used to. You should consider how many hours of sleep usually make you feel you rested well, and then compute according to that.
danielaParticipantYet you would never dare suggesting a quota of conscripts among athletes or artists, with similar motivations that it would not “destroy” those institutions but just lower (minimally) their numbers and/or structure, that they take money from the zionist govt and would most certainly have to close down if it weren’t for that money, and that they benefit from security that the Medinat (more or less) keeps within its borders. We paid for long time our taxes, even though we did not think it was appropriate to cut funds to large families in order to fund greek theater, martial arts and all sort of stuff at the taxpayers’ expense, yet we paid and were silent, in deference to the status quo. Now we wonder why. Please, explain to all of us why.
February 19, 2013 4:20 pm at 4:20 pm in reply to: Israeli Army Is Not Short on Manpower�Why Draft the Bnei Torah? #931442danielaParticipant“Even if everyone serves the full three years, the free labor could be used for numerous other things, including paving roads, hospital services …”
Building pyramids?
“Ehud Barak made this argument years ago.”
Pharaoh made this argument a long time before copycats and wannabees entered the scene.
February 19, 2013 12:34 am at 12:34 am in reply to: Israeli Army Is Not Short on Manpower�Why Draft the Bnei Torah? #931422danielaParticipantGebrochts? Most observant Jews, askhenazim and sefaradim from all sort of different communities, eat gebrocht. Chassidim don’t, and those people must not eat: it is not a chumra but it’s their minhag, which is a halachic obligation to follow, not an optional stringency. Funny no one ever commented to me about gebrocht, which I eat and buy: at most someone pointed out to me among the products on the shelves which ones are gebrocht. Even funnier that someone bothered you about it while shopping, thus suggesting that you met some ignorant and possibly newly religious individual. I wonder why you did not take the opportunity to explain to him that many minhagim allow gebrocht (including yours, I assume) and that the reason he must not eat himself, which no doubt the rabbi had made clear to him, has nothing to do with chometz – the Talmud is very clear, matza and water do not create chometz, period – but still if that is his family’s minhag, or his rabbi’s, he is obligated in following it.
Given that ignorance brings punishment upon the world, I would have appreciated you had picked a correct example for a chumra. Being careful about yoshon in chutz laaretz is a chumra. Avoiding gebrochts on Pesach is a chumra only if I were to do it (actually, it would ordinarily be forbidden for those of us who have a minhag of eating some special gebrocht dish), but for chassidim it is not a chumra – it is the halacha. Anyway. You say you don’t have a problem about other people’s chumrot, even when they are true chumrot and not halacha (kol isha is a chumra too? I could continue with army service and national service “features”, but those examples are not fit for this website). So why are charedim such a huge problem for refusing to mix? I don’t have a problem with you, I don’t have a problem with the reforms, I just stay away, is that so disturbing to you?
DaMoshe since when do we compel people to do volunteer service? is it volunteer, or compulsory? What is forced civilian conscription for, or is it yet another idea to force assimilation, and at the same time to keep remarking that charedim don’t risk their life and are thus second-class?
TGH that’s brilliant, yeshivot should lock up Torah students, so the govt won’t have to pay for building and maintaining new jails and extra personnel, ’cause you know, these are young men who need to be locked up for their criminal behaviour, instead some zionist-religious school students (see article on today’s YWN) and the weed-enjoying squatters and the rock-throwing minorities deserve a medal and public funding to continue with their lifestyle at the taxpayers’ expense. I am going to teach my children how to play cards, because it looks like the new generation will need to pretend playing cards while in fact they are studying.
February 18, 2013 9:00 pm at 9:00 pm in reply to: Israeli Army Is Not Short on Manpower�Why Draft the Bnei Torah? #931417danielaParticipantStalin HaRasha during WW2 made sure that conscience objectors would work in labor camps, lest people “abuse” the system and exploit conscience objection as “the easy way out”. Are you suggesting something similar?
PS Please explain your nickname, as I am not sure how more gvurah and less chumras go together. Unless you are sarcastically remarking how less chumrot (aka bending halacha so it fits with “modern” lifestyle and mentality) brings R”L more din upon the world, if so I apologize for having misunderstood you and your recent posts.
danielaParticipantFascinating, haredim may use the health services and public transportation in all sort of nonjewish countries, but in Israel, no, haredim have to feel guilty and build separate roads? Interesting. Moreover, there are other minorities in the state of Israel and no one tells them to build their own roads, nor dares calling them parasites or giukim — partly because there would be consequences.
As for the effect of forcing Tanach as part of a “core curriculum”, that was already done. It’s not turning out pretty, is it.
danielaParticipantToo bad you are deluded the Medinat can prevent R”L another Shoah. If it is decreed, it will happen, regardless of your mighty army and your foolish ideology.
On the contrary, Torah and chesed and mitzvot are the one and only thing which helps.
Compromise? Sorry but no compromise is possible between righteousness and evil, between muttar and assur. It’s either one or the other.
You want to push your delirium? Go ahead, after that you will be busy packing, and let’s hope it will not get worse.
danielaParticipantSnowbunny as others already have written, full-time learners, or even english-fluent litvish full-time learners, are not identical twins or xerox copies of each others. Each one of us only needs one soulmate, you should find yours quickly and easily. There are people who are completely against national service but also there are people who don’t really have an opinion (possibly having never met anyone who did) and are open to it, and there are yet other people who greatly admire those who do.
You seem very determined, perhaps you should consider starting dating.
danielaParticipantSam2 – thank you.
If someone mixes the pig’s milk with cow’s (a healthy cow), and we have this mixture 49% pig milk, 51% cow’s milk, do we, or do we not, go by the majority and say the mixture is milchig? which would be a problem if that person should eat kosher beef with that. Better eat it with pork chops. Is a mixture milchig only if it is kosher?
If instead we shecht the cow and there’s a pig inside which remains alive, the pig is forbidden derabanan but (if he has the simanim of the pig) its milk I think would be issur d’oraita? is that correct?
Shmoolik I do not think it is chadash, as it is discussed at length what to do if an animal without simanim is born from a kosher animal.
danielaParticipantPerhaps because they realize the difference in outlook would bring marriage problems? Would you be interested in getting married with someone who dismisses what is valuable in your eyes and who greatly values what is irrelevant in your eyes? I wouldn’t and most people wouldn’t. Most people see marriage as building life with our soulmate, the one we agree with in regards to important life issues; most people do not use marriage and relationships in general as a crowbar to get our partner to change and assimilate (that is not our way, it is what some nonjews do).
People who wish to do national service or military service should be able to do so, whether or not they realize the reality is quite different from brochures and advertising. I have never tried to dissuade anyone from enrolling in either, although, of course, my children and close family I definitely would. This has nothing to do with the discussion at hand, ie the attempt to force into military service or national service, people who do not want anything to do with it.
danielaParticipantOK but if the pig’s milk is chalav akum, we have to be careful, maybe our enemies mix it with cow’s milk.
danielaParticipantThat’s why it seems to me it’s an additional problem if the pig’s milk turns out to have been mixed with a cow’s (healthy cow, not a treifah).
danielaParticipantah, but what if the pig’s milk was mixed with some cow’s milk? We might end up trasgressing basar v’chalav, no? That would be worse than pig’s milk.
danielaParticipantGAW it has been explained by DaasYochid earlier in the thread why.
Interjection please go in the racism / diversity thread so you can explain whether having a few people belonging, or claiming to belong, to a minority, who vandalize garbage cans (we wish certain minorities would *only* do that!) should or should not elicit hatred for that entire group.
danielaParticipantTorah613Torah (kol hakavod on the new capital letter) the average hiloni will not listen to arguments on the vicious anti-haredi hatred if they come from a Rabbi, so perhaps you should quote someone else more to their taste? What about Gideon Levy the leftist hiloni who writes on Haaretz? He recently wrote an article on this very topic, you can look it up on Haaretz website. Viciousness is viciousness and even Gideon Levy has to admit it.
danielaParticipantIf you don’t think the words of the Rosh Yeshiva (and many other gdolim) are level-headed, you surely aren’t going to be convinced by any “article” seeking to explain the charedi position to the charedi-haters. So please spare our time.
danielaParticipantExcuse me, no one is arguing about the kashrut of non-CY cow-milk which is packaged and sold in the USA, but that it has the din of halav yisrael?
February 12, 2013 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm in reply to: Should Harassing Other Posters Be Allowed in the CR? #929145danielaParticipantThe army does not need nor want more manpower, let alone do they care enrolling those who have special requests which, at least formally, are supposed to be accommodated. Modern wars require specialized and highly trained personnel, not troops. There is only one possible reason for insisting upon assimilating haredim. If things were as you suggest, they would get rid of draft altogether and use the taxpayer’s money to hire and train the best candidates among the many excellent perspective soldiers, jewish and non jewish, who would like to join the IDF, take care of equipment and logistics (instead, there are many loose ends), and make sure the military career is well-paid and desirable (for those who are interested in it).
danielaParticipant“They don’t even know why it does not work”. Obvious why! Because they are still tired. But it is time to get up. They have all my sympathy, I feel the same.
danielaParticipantThat’s the easiest question ever 🙂 You should ask them, before they go to sleep, how they would like to be woken up in the morning. If you forget to ask, pick at random one of the methods they usually suggest. I am afraid all methods border on the abusive, otherwise they would not work…
danielaParticipantDear daughter of takahmamash,
kol hakavod, but really, we don’t put beer in the cholent: whisky is much better, and in Adar we should increase joy. During Pesach I advise plums liquor, because cachaca is too sweet. Shavua Tov, Chodesh Tov!
February 6, 2013 2:14 pm at 2:14 pm in reply to: Saving A Pets Life – How Much Should I Spend? #926937danielaParticipantDear Mercury, I am not an ultrasound technician but I have a Ph D in the sciences and I have had children, bli ayin hara – please bless us that we should have more. I once asked an ob-gyn why most machines are not calibrated, which is simple and easy to do, and he replied to me it’s not done because it is unnecessary, and the few machines that are properly calibrated are more than adequate in number, to deal with those few cases that require it. As you say, fluid, CTG and activity are the relevant parameters.
I do not think it is strictly an aveira to get a pet, I think it’s a figurate expression, like humiliating a person in public is not mamash like murdering. I do think it’s not a good idea, especially in modern times, as we may consider them as “family members” like some nonjews do, and this is an aveira. We had a mitzva to have (kosher) pets once, just before we left Mitzrayim, it is very difficult if you think about it, have children grow affectionate with a lamb, a sweet gentle lamb, hug it, have it respond to our calls, we see the lamb growing day by day, getting stronger and more beautiful — and then one day we shecht it, with the children watching. Nowadays if we had to do, it would be very difficult, and it seems to me we have a weakness, and we should put a fence. Plus, it takes much money, much emotional drain, much time and effort (such as cleaning after them, keeping nonkosher pots, pans and dishes, figuring out what to do over Pesach, etc) which I believe we should direct elsewhere, starting with our own family members and then, if we still have money and time we wish to donate, there are many worthy causes to devote one’s time and money and help Yidden, which, differently from the pets, is an obligation and is the very reason we are in the world.
TCG, you have already explained us that your cats are neutered, which is an issur d’oraita, so your cats are the perfect example of the choice of keeping pets leading to another aveira. In addition, I doubt you would spend everything you have, much less take loans, to help a fellow Jew.
February 5, 2013 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm in reply to: Saving A Pets Life – How Much Should I Spend? #926934danielaParticipantHi Mercury,
your baby may or may not be SGA, more likely the sonogram is not gauged (they normally aren’t). If it eases your mind, you should demand your OB-GYN to refer you to a center where the ultrasound machine can provide absolute measurements (ie in mm) and error bars. You pay for care, you are entitled to. If your baby should turn out to be indeed SGA and he/she is proportioned, probably the ob-gyn will advise to ignore it: given 100 healthy babies, obviously someone will be in the smallest 5% and someone else in the highest 5%. If the measurements are not proportioned, again this does not mean health problems R”L, it just increases the likelyhood, we all know people who are not well-proportioned but are healthy, some are athletes. Still in such a case perhaps you may want to give birth in a hospital with a NICU, not because it makes a difference to the baby (they ship babies quickly and effectively, including grand preemies) but because if you just gave birth and are tired etc. one thing is to walk to the babies’ ward, another thing is to sign you want to leave, and go to the other hospital. Wishing you an easy birth, with perfect health and strength for you and baby.
As for the parakeet, I wish you that it survives. I never had any pets nor do I want one, I was taught keeping pets is an aveira which leads to more aveirot, so, my humble opinion is, try to care for this bird, but then, if you get so emotionally attached, may be it’s not worth getting another. You may find sympathetic support among nonjewish animal lovers, I call such people all the time when there are unwanted pets, they are very good at finding an accommodation and they raise money – may be they can help you with a part of the bills.
danielaParticipantThese people ARE antisemites who don’t want frum people in their neighbourhood. They may be born in frum families, but more often, they are grand-grandchildren of frum people forced into Israel by pogroms, grand-children of people who grew up in the virulently antireligious society of the 50s, and children of fools. Rabbis and neighbours know them well, but what can be done? They are off the derech, to use a polite expression, but they often dress like haredim. Their yichus, don’t ask me, but I am told they have valid ID cards from the Medinat and they are recorded as jewish. I was attacked by a pack of them in Yerushalayim back 10 years or so, yes, while driving on Shabbat, which let me remind, one may have a very valid reason to do, such as going to the hospital or accompanying someone to the hospital. They are obviously people to stay away from, but if you think they thirst for Torah, please go and teach them.
danielaParticipantOnce upon a time the nonjews were determined to R”L wipe out those “obsolete” rules and the people who live according to Torah. It’s revolting but one can understand: the very existance and persistance of haredim (or, to use their greek word, pharisees), for their beliefs is a big problem. More recently, new enemies of haredim showed up, they were jewish, but they believed in communism etc. It’s hard to speak nice things about them, but they were sincere, there was nothing deceptive about them. But that supposedly religious jews should focus all their efforts on R”L stamping out haredim? Go ahead, you will fail just like everyone else.
danielaParticipant“For instance, when kids come home from school, they feel like they have nothing to do. If you don’t give them high tech games to play with, they’re bored. What ever happened to playing a good old game of Monopoly? Checkers?”
I have different questions, I wonder what ever happened to studying, what ever happened to helping around in the house, whatever happened to doing chesed to neighbours and to visiting the retirement home and the hospital (if legal adult, the prison too) and to taking care of younger siblings, and if still boredom is present, going out and actually earning money with our work. I also wonder what ever happened to parenting and responsibility, however, I do wonder most of all what ever happened to checking people before we welcome them.
danielaParticipantIt seems to me that in schools, and specifically in that school, it is customary to collect such amounts for gifts to teachers in a happy occasion, and for similar amounts. I do not think occasionally keeping 50$ in a locker goes beyond normal use. Also, it seems to me the responsibility of the school is not indirect, but there is more to it: the school is somehow aware of the possibility / likelyhood of thieves, that’s why they have cameras, yet they demand the lockers have no locks. This is obviously their choice and their convenience, as they might instead request all students who choose to put locks, to give a copy of the key and its locker number, which then is attached to a keychain along with all the other keys, and when not in use, are kept in a safe place. The lockers being open are not consequence of an intrinsic fact such as the school wanting to check the lockers which we may argue is a part of chinuch, but instead, it seems to me it derives from their convenience to have them left open, and not wanting to be bothered with keys.
danielaParticipantDaasYochid
All I know about superme is what she posts on this forum, but I have the impression she is in a complicated situation. This 50$ episode has to be understood in a context of difficult relationships with other students, with teachers, with her parents. She needs IMHO to talk a Rabbi who not only can pasken about 50$ after hearing the relevant facts in regards to this episode, but who can also simultaneously have her trust, be detached enough she feels safe she can tell him the whole story (and who knows how many other stories she would like to tell) without others hearing about how she talked to Rabbi XYZ etc etc, and yet be somehow in touch with the school, someone in a position to improve relationships and whom everyone respects. There is much more at stake than 50$.
Superme
Be Hatzlacha and please let us know the teshuva when you get one
danielaParticipantDaasYochid I am not sure how a rav can possibly determine, without asking them directly, if the people from the school (principal, teachers, rebbeim etc) saw the videos or did not, and either way, what was their reasoning. There may also be other info we are not aware of (e.g. there exist fake cameras, with a LED, which are sold as deterrents, sometimes people buy a few real cameras along with a bunch of identical dummies). If these points are irrelevant to the shaila, or if there is a way to know them without asking, can you please explain.
One might think that, regardless of whose money it was at the time it was stolen, the school is responsible, because the OP used the lockers as they’re supposed to be used, the school does not want them locked and being hiding place of unwanted material, so they request lockers are kept open and provide security cameras, they are in charge of security, and 50$ is a reasonable amount one can expect to be brought to school in cash, occasionally. If so, one may think, the school should shell out the 50$ and after that, it’s between them and someone else, if they should look at the video or not, and what to do. Instead they are claiming the OP is responsible for the loss, and so it seems to me it’s necessary to listen to what they have to say.
danielaParticipantWe talked about your story with my family, may we ask if you are a boy or a girl and if you are bar/bat mitzvah. And again we would be very happy to send you 50$, which actually, I suggested even before talking to them. See, I once was an unpaid shomeret for a chiloni (it was cash in a purse) and it was stolen under my eyes and I did not even notice or realize – I was so shocked, it must have been a skilled thief – I offered to pay the money, especially since I saw he had a very upset face, but he refused, said the halacha is not so (a chiloni, let me remark again); I replied I wish to give as a gift, but he told me he does not even want to hear about it and left. In case he reads YWN and recognizes the story, I have set the money aside for him and either me or my children / grandchildren will discuss it with Eliyahu Hanavi in good time.
Back to your story, it does not work to call, say, my rabbi. Only your Rabbi can pasken for you, and even if he could not be available for whatever reason, another Rabbi has to know who is your Rabbi before he can decide.
One solution which I was taught, if you do not wish to talk to a Rabbi and tell the story, is that, regardless of what the halacha is, you restore the 50$ whether you are obligated or not, with the intention that if you are not obligated, it’s a gift, and the intention you don’t consider it tzedaka, just a gift you are willingly giving to – whomever. (I assume you are bar or bat mitzvah.) Of course in a similar way, someone can send you the money, willingly and in good heart as a gift to whomever (perhaps to you, perhaps to the thief, perhaps to the teacher, perhaps to your friends who gave for the gift, or to anyone else), we give it away forever because it makes us happy to do so.
The other option is that you tell all the facts to your father or to your rabbi, both about the stolen money and about the availability of cameras, and all other details, and then you do what they tell you.
danielaParticipantNobody can give answers to these people because there really are no answers. Yes someone may have nice words which may or may not touch someone’s heart, but the truth is, we don’t know about G-d, about suffering, we don’t have answers. Then again there are different sort of questions, such as, should we go to the movies, should we do this or eat that, etc. To those, we do know the answers, and in great detail, and even if we don’t, it’s easy to ask a question and be answered and then do as we are told. If someone has decided they do not want to live like that, and are seeking to rationalize it intellectually, say by questioning G-d or similar philosophical questions (which, if genuine, are no reason to loosen observance) you can not help nor can any rabbi in the world. We are taught to avoid such people.
danielaParticipantI understand, but your health and well-being is precious and more important than aliyah, seminary and your plans. You have to consider your future, which will be bright no matter what, and life will bring new opportunities to do whatever you want. If you neglect your health, and I will not even refer R”L to any serious problems, let me take for granted you don’t have anything serious, only you feel unwell and it interferes with your studies and social life, then you don’t even notice the opportunities, as all of your strength is devoted to holding on and doing the bare minimum to function. We all have been through such periods in our life, you are no exception, but one thing is if it lasts a few weeks (and even so, at your age it’s very hard, compared to, say, a 30-yr-old going through a difficult time) another thing is when it has been continuing for a while, and it’s not likely to disappear tomorrow. I know, perhaps the program / the other students / the teachers / the therapist / the doctors could and should have done differently, but this is the situation. If you were my daughter, I would tell you to take the first flight and not to worry, even if there is no money – money will be found for another flight and another visa, and we will be much happier to spend money on a flight and supporting you in EY in the future, rather than R”L on health issues caused or exacerbated by trying to hold on at all costs. I would also wish that a daughter or son would let us know about what’s happening, because parents exist to help, it takes a huge effort to raise a child which further increases the natural attachment and affection we have for our children, so we look forward to protecting and helping, we do everything in our power, this is what every parents does and you will too in good time. Please, try to see this from a future perspective, try to imagine yourself and your life in 40 years’ time, what is important is your health and well-being, all the rest will follow.
danielaParticipantYekke, thank you for the attention you devote to carefully reading my posts, but I do with my money what I please, thank you. If I feel like giving someone a gift, this does not mean I have the obligation I have to give a gift to everyone, much less do I have to give a gift to whom you tell me. Please do send something to the other poster, if you like. Feel free to send 5000, I won’t object, I will be glad for him – and for you as well. Shabbat Shalom
danielaParticipantNot “animal owners”. Animal worshippers. I am not referring to normal people who keep an animal because it is useful to them and considers it “belongings”, which of course, we care for. There are individuals who instead consider an animal a “family member”, which, being European, I have already heard about.
I think leaving a baby in the dirt is not the epitome of kindness.
I will not reply about your other remark about you out of the nothingness wondering if the woman is Jewish: you do your checks.
danielaParticipantI have taken airplanes with babies and have seen such people countless times. They usually have “babies” which are dogs or cats R”L and they think human babies are disgusting and smelly, but they actually enjoy the stink of the cats and the dogs, you should enter some houses! which looks so expensive, spotless and in perfect order, they could go on TV except for the detail the cameramen might vomit! They also don’t see it as a problem to pick up the animals’ excrements, nor to be licked in the face etc etc. Their problem is in their soul, not in their noses. Just avoid such people, but please be very aware they exist. Oh, and they petition airlines all the time to have “children-free” flights.
Superme I do not think it was a jewish woman.
danielaParticipantHaifa, that comment I find disgusting.
Superme, I am not sure how to do because it is not allowed to post personal info on the CR, but I would like to send you 50$. I would be honored to do that as a gift, so that you have peace of mind. Then you should ask a shaila, it is a good question, much more worth than 50$.
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