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If you’re in Brooklyn, some good options are Bagel Hole (2 stores, one on Coney Island Ave. between J & K, and one on Ave J and E. 15 St.), and Brooklyn Bagels on Nostrand Ave. between Kings Highway and Ave P.
In Teaneck, Sammy’s makes the best bagels. Poppy’s makes ok bagels, not as good as Sammy’s, but they have better breakfast specials (and have hash browns, which is one of my favorites!)
I agree with what was posted already – many MO schools accept students who aren’t really frum. They’re not “going off”, they’re just keeping to the path they were already on.
There are people who go off from all backgrounds. I recently heard from someone about a girl who graduated from a Beis Yaakov who got engaged – to another girl. Apparently this class had about half the girl “go off”. Some found their way back, others didn’t.
In the yeshivas I went to (all respected yeshivish places), I know a number of boys who “went off”. I honestly don’t know if they’ve found their way back or not.
This issue is not limited to one group. It happens everywhere.
I had a conversation with my Rav last week about different groups. He hates the whole idea. He says, “Just try to be the best Jew that you can be. Do what Hashem wants according to what you’ve been taught. If that’s considered MO, chareidi, chassidish, or something else, it doesn’t matter. Just keep the mitzvos, and you’re fine. Don’t put anyone into groups. We’re all Jews.”
eman: That person is a jerk.
When my wife was pregnant with our twins, we knew we were having a boy and a girl. The only thing I asked the doctor was if there was a way to control which one came out first. I had a chance to do a once in a lifetime mitzvah of pidyon haben, and I didn’t want to miss out!
It turned out that he was born first – but via a C-Section, so there was no pidyon. Oh well. Two of my brothers had girls first, and the one who had a boy first is married to a bas Levi. No pidyon as of yet from my family, although there are a few more unmarried siblings still to go.
I don’t know much about Ner Yisrael, but I can recommend a great yeshiva in the NY area: Yeshiva Darchei Torah, in Far Rockaway. Rabbi Bender is one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) mechanchim in the world. They also have a fantastic general studies department, with many AP classes offered.
I remembered seeing a story online when R’ Elya passed away, and I managed to find it:
Feif Un: Thanks for providing the info. Just to add on some more:
The SOA deals mainly with life/health fields. They’ll do life insurance, pensions, health insurance, and the like.
The CAS deals with Casualty fields. They’ll do stuff like homeowners, auto, small business, and other property/casualty stuff.
I went the same path as you – graduated from Touro College with a degree in Math. One year just in yeshiva first, then 3 more in Touro with part-time yeshiva.
1. At the entry level, you can’t really work part time. Telecommuting depends on the company, but 99.9% of employers wouldn’t allow it at first. As for the hours, it depends on what kind of work you’re doing. If you’re consulting, it’s all about billable hours, and the hours will be long. If you work for an insurance or pension firm, it should be the standard 9 to 5.
2. As a man, I can’t answer this one.
3. Finishing the exams can take as long as you make it take. If you pass each one on the first attempt (highly unlikely!), you can be done in a few years. I know people who finished at 25-26 years old, and I know people who finished at 40. Be aware that you will need to spend hundreds of hours studying at home, which will interfere with family life.
Getting an ASA or ACAS (depending on what track you take) is ok for now, but might not be later on. The SOA and CAS are discussing getting rid of the Associate level.
4. Starting can be in the mid-50k range. Passing exams gets you raises (standard is usually about 2k per exam). With 5 years of experience and a number of exams passed, it’s not unusual to be making in the 70k area.
5. Entry level jobs are not easy to find. There are many candidates, and not many openings. It used to be that a degree and one exam passed would get you multiple job offers. Not anymore. You need 2 or 3 exams now.
There is a frum Jewish woman named Pauline Reimer who is probably the best actuarial recruiter out there. She has helped thousands of actuaries find jobs. You can find her info via Google. When you’re ready to look for a job, I highly recommend contacting her.
Yes, what about us?
I remember that one year I was in Chaim Day Camp (in Brooklyn), and the alma mater went like this:
8 weeks in the summer
the good times that I always had
sports and activities
they went by so fast
Oh Chaim Day Camp
the one thing I really will miss
is the spirit of achdus
and ruchniyus
Some guys decided to make a spoof, and it went like this:
8 weeks what a bummer
the good times that we never had
sports and activities
thank G-d they went by so fat
Oh Chaim Day Camp
the one thing that we really missed
was the spirit
of Ruach-niyus
(for those who don’t know, Ruach Day Camp was the “other” day camp in Brooklyn at the time. This was before Temimah, Ohr Shraga, and other were around.)
I was never zoche to see him. However, my father in law was very close to him. When my wife and I were going through fertility treatments, my father in law asked him for a bracha for us. Instead of the usual “bracha v’hatzlacha” he gave, he pulled my father in law over and started asking him details about our case. He then advised him on what treatments we should do.
Last night, my brother in law sent us pictures of R’ Elyashiv from his wedding. I don’t know if he was the mesader kiddushin. The pictures are from the kabalas panim, and you can see R’ Elyashiv reading over the kesuba, then discussing something in it with my father in law.
There are a number of issues with it.
1. The law is not applied equally to everyone. Why should I have to pay hundreds of dollars per month for my healthcare while others get it for free? If you’re going to require everyone to have coverage and give it out for those who can’t afford it, then give it out to everyone for free.
2. You shouldn’t be able to fine those who don’t have coverage. If the government can force someone to purchase insurance, then why can’t they force other things? Why can’t they say, ok, if you vote Republican, we’re going to fine you? Free market means you can buy what you want, and refuse what you want. The government shouldn’t be able to force people to buy things.
3. Regarding pre-existing conditions, it makes a lot of sense to exclude them. There are actually laws in place that require they be covered as long as you’ve had coverage. So let’s say Person A has a job, and gets insurance through Oxford. He develops a health issue while there. Oxford covers the treatment. But then he switches jobs – and his new employer offers Aetna, not Oxford. Since he had coverage already, the law requires the new insurance provider to cover the pre-existing condition.
But now let’s look at what happens if you always require companies to cover pre-existing conditions. Person B is a nice, healthy person. Let’s say getting health insurance would cost him roughly $600 per month. He doesn’t want to pay it, as he’s a healthy guy. One day, he’s playing basketball, and he lands the wrong way, and breaks his leg. He calls up a health insurance provider and signs up – for $600 per month. He goes to the hospital, gets his leg treated. The insurance pays the hospital $5,000. After he’s been treated, he cancels the plan. Let’s say he paid 2 months of premium – $1,200. Now the insurance company had a loss of $3,800 on his case. If he had coverage the whole time, he would have paid many more months without any claims which would make up for the loss. But if they allow people to do this, the premiums would rise astronomically to make up for these cases.
As for people without any insurance, I’m sorry, but healthcare is not a basic right that people get. It is a privilege.
I have gone through infertility, and you can’t imagine the pain that comes along with it. I am tremendously grateful to Bonei Olam for all the help they gave both me and my wife. Besides for the money, they are always there if you just need to talk to someone. I don’t even know how many hours I spent on the phone with someone from Bonei Olam. At one point, the doctor told us to look into adoption, because he decided he couldn’t help us anymore – he’d tried everything he could, and things just weren’t working as they should.
So what did Bonei Olam tell us? “There are three partners in making a baby – two parents, and Hashem. Not a doctor. The doctor is merely a shaliach of Hashem. Obviously, this is not the right shaliach. We’ll just look for the right one!” And so it was. They helped us look for the right doctor for us.
There is a Chinese Auction tonight in Brooklyn for Bonei Olam. You can order tickets through their website (just don’t put in for the same prizes that I did!) I encourage everyone to support this amazing organization.
One last thing. Yes, there are other tzedakos out there. You can argue that some are more worthy of support. How would you feel if you, your child, your sibling, or other close relative needed help with infertility? Statistics show that one in seven couples need help having children. Many families have that many children. Just because they don’t tell you doesn’t mean they don’t need the help. Support Bonei Olam, because the family they help might be yours.
I know what it’s like to go through this. My wife and I found out early on that we couldn’t have children naturally. Thankfully, Hashem sent us his messengers from Bonei Olam, who helped us tremendously. After about 4 years of running to doctors, we finally had twins!
Going through fertility treatments is very tough. Most people can’t understand what it’s like. My wife and I are happy now that we have 2 children. Would we want more? I don’t know. I choose to look on the bright side. We have a son and a daughter, so we fulfilled pru ur’vu according to all shitos. We won’t have to worry about the financial issues that sometimes come up when you have 6 or 7 kids. We don’t have to worry about getting burned out from raising kids all the time.
If, one day, we decide to try again, we’ll go back to a doctor. For now, we thank Hashem for sending us what we have. I’ve always been told that Hashem only sends us what we can handle. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of more kids? Hashem knows what’s best for me, so I leave it in his hands.