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DaasYochid: On my Birthright trip, I had 2 tour guides. One of them was a frum man. He told me that he moved to a certain area, and one of the first things he did was find a local yeshiva to learn in each morning (he worked as a tour guide in the afternoons and learned half a day in the morning). He saw that every day, there were about 30 guys in the yeshiva learning, with many more empty seats.
One morning, he comes in to learn, and was astounded. That day, there were about 200 guys in the beis medrash! He asked the Rosh Yeshiva, “Why is it so crowded today?”
The Rosh Yeshiva responded, “We got a tip that the government is coming today to verify that the guys are actually learning in yeshiva. We got the word out, and the guys came in so they won’t lose their government money!”
The tour guide told the Rosh Yeshiva, “You complain that people here hate chareidim. You say they’re out to get you. When you blatantly lie and steal from the government like this, can you really blame them?” He then walked out of the yeshiva and never returned.
The Elizabeth/Hillside area is a very good option. Which side you want to move to depends on how old you are – more young couples are moving into the Hillside area.
The community is a very nice MO community, and it has the JEC school system. The schools are co-ed entirely for pre-school. I believe at first grade they are separate for limudei kodesh, and at 4th grade are entirely separate.
As far as food goes, they have a kosher grocery, and the local Shop Rite has a kosher section. They also have a pizza store, Chinese take-out, and a sit-down restaurant.
Homes are very affordable. You can now buy a home for under $200k. They also offer incentives for moving into the community – all local residents get an automatic scholarship for their kids in pre-school which lowers the cost significantly. If you buy a home, you get an automatic $5,000 off your first year of tuition as well.
Granted, tuition is high compared to Brooklyn, but you’ll find that everywhere in NJ except Lakewood.
My grandfather went through the horrors of Auschwitz and stayed frum, despite the fact that many of his relatives who survived swore off Judaism after what they went through. He established a family in America who are all frum, and his children and grandchildren include sofrim, Rabbonim, and those who are like he was – good, frum Jews who are honest in their daily business dealings, and strive to make a kiddush Hashem wherever they go and whatever they do.
To call him a neb is a huge insult, and you should beg mechilah!
On the last day of Pesach, an unmarried guy got maftir. He was wearing a tallis, but only because he was also the baal koreh.
An unmarried guy got hagbah (and put on a tallis for it). A married guy got gelilah.
I once bought hagbah & gelilah in shul on Yom Tov and gave gelilah to my grandfather. I would have given him hagbah, but he was in his mid 80s and wasn’t able to do hagbah anymore. I tried to get him an aliyah, but I was a bachur, and couldn’t afford it.
I don’t think the married guy in my shul yesterday or my grandfather were nebs. I think popa is the biggest neb, for making a joke out of something which is a real kibbud. He comes here pretending to be a Rabbi and creates bad trolling threads. I feel bad for his wife and kids.
I used to get pizza on Motzei Pesach. After packing away all the Pesach dishes and unpacking all the regular ones, I was tired and hungry. I didn’t want to cook anything, so I got food that is inexpensive and easy to find – pizza!
This year I made Pesach for the first time since I moved into my own house (meaning the house I own, as opposed to renting), and I discovered that the pizza store in my area does not open on motzei Pesach, by order of the main Rav in the area (who also supervises the hechsher on it), so I could not get pizza when I had finished getting my home turned back around.
abra cadabra (Joseph), the only lie I saw was this: “It is halachicly prohibited to refrain from having children due to financial considerations.”
I personally know people who were told by their Rav they can use birth control because of their finances. My brother told me that R’ Henoch Shachar, who is a major posek in Lakewood, told him that it’s a big problem in Lakewood that people assume it’s never allowed.
Obviously there are conditions. Having a boy and a girl already makes it easier. But to say it’s never allowed is absolutely false.
Maybe the middah k’neged middah is because unfortunately, there were many scams going on with yeshivos in Israel. People claimed they were sitting and learning to collect a government check, and really weren’t. There have been many scams like these that were busted. Can you blame secular Israelis for being upset?
Dougie’s in Teaneck is still open. I think the one in Deal is also open.
yaakov doe: Do not learn to be a mohel if you want to rely on that for your parnassah. Halachically, a mohel is not allowed to charge to perform a bris. Some use a loophole that they check the baby after the bris to be sure it is healing properly.
I used R’ Rami Cohen as the mohel for my son. He refused to take a penny. When I asked him if he had a tzedakah he prefers, he said “Yes, and I give to them. If you want to donate money that you’d planned on giving me, you can choose your own tzedaka!”
wasserman: I don’t think it’s accurate that places will only hire YU graduates. However, many places do want their Rabbi to be an RCA member. I don’t know how it works to become an RCA member. I do know they recognize YU semicha, but not YCT semicha.
As for places not respecting YU semicha, most of the right-wing chareidi world does not respect anything related to YU.
ZD: You’re wrong about YU semicha. Yes, they have classes on different topics. Their website lists some areas:
Pulpit
Education
Community outreach and Campus leadership
Hospital chaplaincy
Jewish communal services
but that doesn’t mean they treat it as a professional degree like a lawyer or doctor. They simply recognize that a Rav may be expected to provide advice and/or counseling to members of his shul. They offer training so the person actually does a good job of it. They offer a public speaking course so a Rav knows how to deliver a drasha in the shul. Does that mean it’s like being a lawyer or doctor? Absolutely not! They just want someone to be able to do the best job possible.
I don’t blame her. She was put into a tough situation by the home. Their rule is not to do CPR. She likely would have been fired had she done it. I can’t expect her to give up her job for this.
I think the home needs to change its policy.
rebdoniel, going to YCT will not make it easy to find a job. The RCA does not accept YCT semicha as legitimate, and many places know that.
It’s not just the RCA. Most people (myself included) don’t count YCT semicha as legitimate.
While it may be true that chassidim have a lower rate of singles, I wouldn’t say their method of dating is more successful. I have friends who are chassidish. I’ve heard from them many times how many chassidish couples are unhappy in their marriages, but won’t consider divorce because of the stigma attached to it in the community.
Some women also have a twisted view of what marriage should be. When my wife gave birth to our twins, she was next door to a chassidish woman who had also just had a baby. They used to talk a lot. The woman commented one day that she was so happy to be fulfilling the only purpose of her marriage properly. My wife asked her, “What do you mean, the only purpose? You think having babies is what your marriage is about?”
The woman replied, “Of course, what else would there be to marriage?”
“Well, how about a relationship between you and your husband?”
“No, that’s not the purpose of marriage. It’s only about having children!”
“So, when you get into your 40s and can no longer have children, you want your husband to divorce you and marry an 18 year old who can have more kids?”
“Of course not!”
“So there is more to it than having kids, right?”
“Umm…. I need to think about things some more.”
My wife told me she felt bad, and almost like she was “corrupting” the woman. I told her she was undoing the corruption that the woman had drilled into her since her childhood.
Your mouth
Pickle Licious in Teaneck makes the best pickles. They’re fresh with no added preservatives. Lots of flavors, and all under the RCBC hashgocha.
Mishloach Manos is supposed to be something that can be used for a seudah. According to some, you might not be yotze by giving a bag of chips and a soda. You should give something that you can be koveah seudah on. If you want to give chips and a soda, make sure you give at least one person a challah roll with it!
My wife and I gave some people (our Rav, and kids’ Morahs) a “fancy” mishloach manos, which contained a roll, hamentashen, fruit, and a bottle of wine.
For everyone else, we did a breakfast theme – single-serve cereal bowl, boxed milk, bottle of water, and a hamentash. We also put in a spoon to eat the cereal with.
R’ Yaakov Bender once said over that when R’ Moshe Feinstein zt”l used to go to a bungalow colony in the summer, kids would line up and take pictures of him. Someone tried to stop them, and R’ Moshe wouldn’t let him. He said, “Better they should have my picture on their wall than a baseball player!”
My Purim seudah ended up being beautiful. We had about 15 guests over. We had good food, and lots of wine. I drank about 7-8 cups of wine during the meal. I always followed a cup of wine with a cup of water or seltzer to avoid dehydration. We sang Purim zemiros (I think we did a great rendition of the famous Modzitzer Shoshanas Yaakov), and said over Purim Torah. Nobody got really drunk – I got a slight buzz from all that wine, but that was it.
After everyone left, I helped my wife clean up, then got a ride with someone to Maariv (even though I felt fine by then, I didn’t want to take a chance that the alcohol was still in my system).
I think that Hashem was happy with the way I fulfilled the mitzvos, and won’t hold it against me that I didn’t get completely wasted.
Thank you for attempting to help everyone out! A few points:
You mentioned A&B gefilte fish. I don’t believe it is KFP all year round. It has matza meal in it, which is not always KFP. It also contains canola oil, which is kitniyot, so Ashkenazim can’t have it.
You also mentioned R’ Maroof. I’ve never met him or spoken to him, but he is somewhat controversial because of his affiliation with Sarah Hurwitz. Posting his opinions about Pesach products here might not be the best idea.
Ultimately, I found that my biggest expense for Pesach is the matzah. It is more expensive (at least price per pound) than any other product I buy.
Lots of Yeshivos and shuls benefit from stolen goods.
Dress as a nun.
I think their issue is more about the money hat yeshiva guys get from he government without having served in the military. Some want to tie that stipend to military service.
There are other things chareidim could do besides serving in the military. They can do Sherut Leumi instead. I believe serving in Magen David Adom qualifies for that – let more chareidim work in MDA, and they can continue to get the stipend. There are plenty of other opportunities in Sherut Leumi that would be acceptable for Chareidim.
I went on Birthright years ago, so I don’t remember all the places we went. Here are some of the ones I do remember:
Yerushalayim – we walked through the old city, obviously went to the Kotel, as well as the tunnels under the Kotel.
Tzfat – they took us to some of the old shuls there
Dead Sea
Masada
Golan
Tel Aviv
Yad Vashem
Mt. Herzel
Jaffa – we went to a big shuk there
T’verya
Kibbutz Lavi
We also went to help out one day by going to a center which collects items for poor families. We sorted out clothing by gender and size, and helped arrange various appliances into different categories.
Overall, I had an amazing time, and would recommend the trip to others. Just make sure you choose the right trip organizer, as most of them are not for frum Jews.
bh18: Did that really happen? Stealing someone’s mail is a federal crime. She could get into real trouble for that!
Yes
I walk close to a mile to go to shul every Shabbos. I also hurt my knee recently, and am nervous about walking in the snow. The only other shul near me is a Chabad house where the members are meshichist, so I refuse to daven there. I might end up davening at home this week.
Ferd is a loud-mouthed loser who just likes to insult people.
In this thread: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/throwing-bleach-at-r-nuchem-rosenberg-to-achieve-justice
he called me names and insulted me numerous times. He has done this is other threads as well.
Obviously the mods are ignoring the rules when they feel like it. It needs to stop, and Ferd should be banned for his comments.
gavra, perhaps if you apologize for your chutzpa towards a huge talmud chacham, you will make some progress.
If the Shema Yisrael is the one I’m thinking of, here are the original words, as sung by Sarit Hadad:
Kshehalev boche rak Elokim shomea
Bitfila ktana chotech et hadmama
Shma israel Elokai ata hakol yachol
Natata li et chayai natata li hakol
Shma Israel Elokai achshav ani levad
Chazek oti Elokai ase shelo efchad
Kshehalev boche hazman omed milechet
El halo noda hu lo rotze lalechet
and here’s the translation:
When the heart cries only God hears
The pain rises from the soul
A man falls down before he sinks
He cuts the silence with a small prayer
Shma Israel, my God, you are the mighty one
You gave me my life you gave me everything
A tear in my eyes, the heart cries in silence
And when the heart is silent the soul cries out
Shma Israel, my God, I am all alone now
Make me strong, my God, so I will not be afraid
The pain is great and there is no where to run
When the heart cries time stands still
A man sees his life passing in front of him
He calls his God as he stands on the edge of the deep
If someone graduates medical school, you generally call them Doctor, no matter how old they are. It has nothing to do with age, it is a title that you’ve earned by virtue of passing the exams needed.
If someone gets semicha, they’ve earned the right to be called Rabbi. Does that mean you always have to? Probably not, but when using a formal address, you should write their official title.
Whether you have respect for them or not is up to you. If the semicha is from a yeshiva you don’t hold of, then don’t show them the respect to their face. Obviously, don’t use them as your Rav.
It’s a terrible thing that he isn’t being buried in a Jewish cemetery. That said, I do envy the schar he will receive for always defending Israel. He stood up for Israel against those who opposed it, even when it wasn’t politically correct to do so. This unwavering dedication to the safety of our brothers and sisters will no doubt grant him a huge zchus in the next world.
I recommend To Kindle a Soul by Rabbi Keleman.
Mods: Sorry, I checked it again – he said it’s an open letter to Yeshiva World.
Correct, an open letter on his blog
Bear: He’s not trying to bend the rules, he’s trying his hardest to stay within them. Everyone slips up sometimes. As long as we realize that when we do it’s wrong, and we try to do better, we’re on the right path. He claims that’s what is going on with him.
How can you judge him when he has such a terrible situation to live with? He is trying his best. He says he came out about his situation to show others in it that you can live as a frum gay person. Personally, I think a frum person who is gay and is able to resist his temptations 99% of the time is amazing. I wish I was able to resist 99% of my temptations to do wrong.
Unfortunately, with your lashon hara here (which obviously I am not mekabel), you are a far cry from resisting 99% of your temptations.
He has a website where he posted it. He said that some friends showed him the posts about him here the other day, and he wrote it as a response. He submitted it to YWN, but also wrote he didn’t think they’d post it because he gets into some details they likely wouldn’t want to publish.
Nothing was ever submitted to YWN
Bear, did you read the letter that this Ger wrote in response to your accusations?
He says that he knew being gay was wrong. He suppressed the desire as much as he was able. Did he slip sometimes? Yes, and he writes how he was wracked with guilt and cried about it after.
He converted because he was told when you convert, you become a new person and your old self is gone. He hoped it would rid him of these desires he had. It didn’t.
He married a woman, and went to therapy for years. Nothing helped, and he resented his wife. He says he is now OTD because of the issues he has with the chareidi world and how they handled (or didn’t handle) his situation.
He recognizes that acting on his desires is wrong, and tries to avoid it as much as he can. Being gay and frum is a terrible situation to be in, and I have a lot of pity for people in that situation. Imagine knowing that you have to go through life alone, unable to act on your desires – it’s a tremendous burden!
Don’t insult somebody you know nothing about. Be dan l’kaf zchus.
Maybe it wasn’t really fifty dollars, but five dollars? After all, it seems clear you’re not sure where a period (or decimal) should go, so maybe you were wrong? Maybe it was fifty cents?
As haifagirl said, please study English some more. I’m sorry about the situation you’re in, but that’s not an excuse for the grammar (or lack thereof) in your post.
I also agree with Goq, with one more piece. I’m also not a big fan of when people change diapers in public. When my kids were babies, I never changed them in public unless there was absolutely no other choice. I’d go to a bathroom, even if there wasn’t a changing table. I got a very large changing pad and disinfectant wipes, and I even did it on the floor of a bathroom stall once.
I definitely think the woman overreacted. A simple, “Excuse me, it really bother me when people do that, would you mind going to use the table in the bathroom?” would have been fine. Her reaction was way over the line.
Your response about her marital status was also way over the line.
daniela: I don’t see what animal owners have to do with this. There was no indication the woman owns a pet. I have friends and neighbors who own pets and they are extremely nice people. I can assure you that they don’t enjoy cleaning up after their dogs or changing litter boxes. That’s why there are so many products out there to help with it so the owner doesn’t have to touch the stuff or get too close to it. You also have no clue whether the woman is Jewish or not.
Of course I do! I’ve gotten into trouble for protecting some of my younger siblings, but I didn’t care. Family is extremely important. Yes, we argue at times, but they’re still my siblings.
I heard that the yeshiva there had some difficulties after R’ Altusky left to go to Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway. He was very popular, and some guys from the yeshiva followed him there. Afterwards, some people who would have gone to Montreal went to Darchei Torah instead.
The tablecloth and candlesticks are set up on Friday afternoon. Usually my kids enjoy putting on the plates and silverware while I’m in shul. In the summertime, they’ll do that on Friday afternoon also.
I just wonder if any of those supporting Weberman and claiming there was no evidence actually sat through the entire trial themselves, or read a transcript of the case. If you didn’t, how do you know what happened? Because a biased “Rebbe” told you what to think? If you don’t know all the facts, you can’t say there was no evidence. Read through the entire transcript with an open mind and then get back to me.
147: Oh please. Maybe anyone who uses the Ponovezh Rosh Yeshiva as their Rav and didn’t listen to him will lose their chelek. But most people don’t rely on him, and therefore are not bound by their psak.
Responses like the ones here are exactly why we have these problems in the Jewish community. People, WAKE UP! It wasn’t just the word of the girl. The therapist confirmed it, and said the symptoms were those of a victim of abuse. I believe I read that the victim had told the therapist even before Weberman told her father about the boyfriend, so the reason Weberman gave is utter nonsense.
Enough of the covering up! It happened in Torah Temimah, it happened in other places, and it now happened in Williamsburg. When will we stop assuming it’s all anti-semitism and start really working towards putting an end to it?
The victim’s father has had to come out multiple times and say he did not support his daughter. Why? Because his business collapsed after the “Rebbe” told people not to use him. The family is not welcome in the community. Instead of giving them much needed support, they were kicked out. No wonder other victims didn’t want to come forward, with such mafia tactics!
The DA said that the cover-up and intimidation used by the community is worse than any mafia tactics he’s seen in the past. One chillul Hashem wasn’t enough, now they’re going for more! It’s time to really look around and see what’s going on, without rose colored glasses.
dhl: Wow, we share a birthday (although not the same year, I’m quite a bit older than you!)
3 litvaks and a chassid were visiting a friend for Shabbos. At Seudah Shlishi, the host puts out a plate with 5 pieces of herring on it and says, “Enjoy! Don’t wait for me, I don’t like herring.”
Each guests grabs one piece. They are all eyeballing the one piece left on the plate, not wanting to seem like the greedy one for taking the extra piece. Suddenly, the lights go out. A piercing scream is suddenly heard! Just as quickly, the lights go back on.
There, on the plate, is a hand holding the last piece, with 3 forks stuck in it.